So I've been thinking a lot about this and I think that I'm nearly ready to wrap up this story. But worry not readers I definitely plan on making a sequel, I would just like to skip over a little bit of time and I think the best way to do that would be to end this story and begin another one! So there will likely be one or two more chapters depending on what I decide to do with the next one!
For those of you who follow my Criminal Minds Series I have been also thinking about starting that back up! I'm not sure if I will be able to keep up with two stories but I'd like to give it a try!
But for now please enjoy this chapter! I will warn you it is fluffier than fluff!
Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! You all are the best! -J
Chapter 33- Mama
"Jane?" Maura answered her phone sounding slightly confused; surprised that the brunette was calling, since she was playing at the park with Amelia. "Is everything okay?"
"Maur I need you to try and stay calm," Jane's worried voice came through the phone, immediately sending the blonde into panic mode. "I need you to get your Mom to bring you to the hospital."
"Hosp….What happened?" Maura leant forward in her seat, feeling like all the blood in her veins just ran cold. "Is it Amelia? Is she okay?"
"She's okay…mostly," Jane replied, not exactly helping Maura's panic. "She broke her arm…or well we're pretty sure it's broken...I mean it looks broken and I'm pretty sure she would tell you that it feels broken but the doctor is doing x-rays to be absolutely sure but…"
"Jane," Maura interrupted, understanding that the brunette was rambling out of nervousness. "I'm coming okay. I will be there as soon as I can. Tell Amelia I will be right there."
"O-okay," Jane sighed in relief, obviously needing her girlfriend there with her. "Maur I'm…yeah…okay."
If she wasn't desperate to see her daughter and feeling completely panicked, Maura was sure she would find the whole scene comical. With her leg still rather sore, the Medical Examiner was hobbling through the hospital hallways, her Mother attempting to help, but having a difficult time keeping up as the younger Mother was on a mission to get to her daughter.
"Maura, Darling please try and slow down you're going to hurt yourself," Constance tried to reach out for Maura's arm. "Please you're going to…"
"Jane!" Maura called out, spotting the Detective at the end of the hall, pacing in front of one of the hospital rooms, the brunette immediately spinning on her heel towards the sound of Maura's voice.
"Maur!" Jane let out the breath she had been holding. "She's okay. She's in there with the nurse and she's doing okay, they're just waiting on your permission so they can treat her because I'm not her Mom and…"
"Jane it's okay," Maura grabbed a hold of the brunette's biceps, partially to get her to stop talking and partially to hold herself up as her leg was now throbbing. "It's okay. I'm here. What happened?"
"I'm so sorry," Jane shook her head, tears shining in her eyes. "Mia wanted to do the monkey bars and I told her I would be right there because I wanted to text you back but I guess she didn't wait and her arms don't really reach and they're so high up so she fell," she explained all in one breath. "That park has that weird squishy tarmac stuff underneath but apparently it doesn't exactly cushion your fall because her arm broke when it hit the ground and she was screaming and crying and I'm so sorry. I swear I was watching her Maur, but I thought she would wait and I only looked away for a second and…"
"Jane," Maura interrupted, placing her hands on the brunette's cheeks, forcing her to meet her eyes. "It was an accident. It's okay. It's okay. Let's go in there though okay? I need to see her."
Nodding, Jane led Maura and Constance into the room where Amelia still sat on the bed, the nurse sitting beside her, telling her a rather animated story in an attempt to make her laugh.
"Mommy!" Amelia shouted as soon as her eyes landed on her Mother, tears immediately filling her eyes, her arm held stiffly at her side with a splint, still needing a cast.
"It's okay Sweetheart, you're okay," Maura sat on the edge of her daughter's bed, placing a comfort kiss on her head. "You're okay."
"I have some paperwork for you to fill out and then we can get this one in a cast," the nurse said, standing from her seat. "I'll be right back."
"Mommy my arm hurts," Amelia continued to cry, leaning her head on her Mother's chest as the older blonde wrapped her arm around her.
"I know Baby but you'll feel better soon," Maura ran her hand over her daughter's head. "So you had a pretty bad fall huh?"
"I wanted to do the monkey bars," Amelia nodded. "Mama told me to wait but I didn't and then I fell," she explained, Maura's head shooting up to look at Jane who immediately looked at the floor, her cheeks turning red.
"Wait…who told you to wait?" Maura asked, a smile playing at her lips, a smile that Jane missed since she refused to look up.
"Mama," Amelia repeated like it was the most natural answer in the world. "Mama told me to wait Mommy. I was with Mama."
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"Jane," Maura limped after her girlfriend out into the hall, leaving Amelia with Constance upon seeing that the brunette needed to talk. "Jane will you…" She was cut off as Jane turned on her heel, stopping abruptly to face her.
"Maura I am so sorry. I should have been watching her. I should have been closer so she wouldn't have fallen, and I swear to you I never asked her to call me that," Jane once again began to ramble. "When she fell she was just so upset and she kept saying 'Mama, Mama' and at first I thought she was crying for you but then I realized that she doesn't call you Mama and once we got here she kept saying it and I didn't know what to say and I can tell her not to if you want me to and…"
Whatever else Jane was going to say was lost as Maura cut her off with a kiss, seeing no other way to stop the brunette's rant. Stunned, when Maura pulled away, Jane simply stood with her mouth wide open, looking like she was searching for something to say.
"I love you," Maura finally spoke, smiling despite the fact that Jane still looked completely freaked out. "I love you so much," she repeated, stepping forward and taking Jane's hands in hers. "This was just an accident. Accidents happen, especially with kids…especially with our daughter," she added, watching as Jane's brown eyes flicked upwards, obviously still surprised about this despite the fact that Maura has referred to Amelia as such before. "She loves you Jane. She loves you because you love her. You are her Mama. It's okay. I'm not upset. You are her Mama."
"I just…I…oh God," Jane tried to talk; struggling as her eyes filled with tears, unable to contain her emotions any longer. "I just love her so much Maur. I love her and I love you I just…" she managed to get out, tears now falling freely down her face.
"Jane," Maura placed one hand on the brunette's cheeks, wiping away the tears there with her thumb, slightly surprised by just how emotional the normally stoic Detective had become. "We love you too," she whispered. "We love you so much Honey."
"I never thought I would be a…" Jane shook her head, tears still falling silently, Maura understanding what she was trying to say despite the fact that she was unable to finish her sentence. "I know you said she's ours…I know you said that was what you want but can I…am I...Can I really be her Mama? Is it really real?"
"Of course you can," Maura nodded, opening up her arms as Jane immediately fell into them, the brunette wrapping her arms tightly around her, partially to hold her up. "You were already her Mama Jane. You have been for a long time now," she whispered into dark curls. "It's real darling. This is very real."
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Guilt was a heavy burden to carry and it had a special way of weighing you down, something, which Jane was experiencing as soon as she walked back into Amelia's hospital room to find the little girl's arm wrapped securely in a purple plaster cast. Though Maura had repeatedly assured her that Amelia was fine and it wasn't her fault that Amelia had hurt herself, Jane seemed unable to help the fact that she was overcome with not only guilt, but sadness as well.
For her part, Amelia, who had been given something to help with the pain, was groggy and clingy, immediately asking her Mama to carry her when they were dismissed from the hospital. Lifting Amelia up onto her hip, the brunette had tried to smile as the little girl wrapped her good arm around her neck while resting her head on her shoulder. Kissing the side of the five year old's head, Jane followed Maura, who was leaning on Constance, out of the room and out towards the exit, all grateful that the rather long day was coming to an end.
"Maura you should travel with Amelia and Jane, I can follow behind," Constance suggested since she had driven Maura, figuring Amelia could use someone to sit in the backseat with her. "I could even pick us up something to eat if you like? I imagine everyone must be pretty hungry by now."
"That would actually be wonderful Mother," Maura smiled, doing her best not to sound surprised. "Are you sure you don't mind."
"Don't be ridiculous it's not a problem at all," Constance replied as they reached Jane's car, opening up one side of the back seat to help Maura in while Jane got Amelia in on the other side. "I'll stop and get us something and I will meet you at the house," she kissed her daughter's cheek. "I will see you soon Amelia. Drive safely Jane."
"Thank you," Jane called, while Amelia replied with a sleepy sounding "Bye Gramma."
"Okay ladies, ready to get home?" Jane asked once she was buckled into the front seat, turning around to find Amelia now resting her head against Maura's shoulder, her eyes barely open.
"We most definitely are," Maura nodded, giving her girlfriend a small smile before kissing the top of her daughter's head.
The drive home was a silent one, Amelia dozing while Maura ran her fingers through the little girl's hair; Jane occasionally glancing in the mirror to check on both blondes. As soon as Jane parked the car in the driveway less than twenty minutes later, she was out of the car and around to lift an obviously sleeping Amelia out of her seat.
"I'll go put her down on the couch and come back to help you Maur," Jane told her girlfriend, careful to keep her voice low.
"Don't be ridiculous Jane I'm fine," Maura was quick to deny the brunette, stubbornly getting herself out of the car, slowly following the brunette who resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Do you think we should take her up to bed?" The blonde asked as soon as they both managed to make it inside.
"Stay with Mama," Amelia mumbled even though her eyes were still closed, tightening her hold on the Detective's neck.
"Apparently not," Jane chuckled, kissing the little blonde's temple before leading Maura towards the family room, helping Maura to sit down before lowering herself down onto the couch, resting Amelia against her chest. "Are you awake little girl?"
"Mmm little bit," Amelia replied, hiding her face in Jane's hair.
"How does your arm feel sweetheart?" Maura asked, shuffling over so she could sit closer to Jane, placing a hand on her daughter's back. "Does it hurt at all?"
"Not really," Amelia shook her head, turning so she was now facing her Mother. "I feel sleepy."
"The medicine will do that," Maura nodded.
"You can sleep now bug," Jane kissed Amelia's forehead. "Me and Mommy will be right here. "
"Yes, Me and Mama are right here," Maura smiled, leaning forward to kiss first Amelia and then Jane. "Sleep Sweet Girl."
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An injured Amelia was a clingy Amelia, and like when the little girl had gotten sick with the flu, Jane didn't mind being the one Amelia attached herself to at all. The five year old had insisted on sleeping with Jane and Maura and the brunette had woken up the next morning to find Amelia still fast asleep, completely on top of her, her little head resting against her chest.
Smiling, Jane ran her fingers through Amelia's blonde hair, taking a moment to simply bask in the love she felt for the little girl. Now laying in silence, Jane had a moment to think about the day before on her own, her guilt once again settling itself in her stomach as she thought about the sound of Amelia's cries when she hit the ground.
I should have been paying more attention Jane thought to herself. I'm supposed to be her Mama but look what I let happen. She's hurt because of me; she glanced at the cast that covered the little girl's arm. How can I be her Mama when I can't even properly take care of her? How can Maura even trust me?
"I'm sorry little girl," Jane whispered, placing a kiss atop Amelia's head.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Maura rolled over towards the brunette, startling her slightly, as she had thought that the blonde was still sleeping. "I don't blame you for what happened and neither does Amelia, so you need to stop feeling so guilty; it will eat you up."
Sighing, Jane continued to run her fingers through Amelia's hair as she carefully considered Maura's words. "I don't know how you do it," she eventually said, her voice still low, not wanting to wake Amelia.
"Do what?" Maura raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on the brunette's thigh.
"She's just…she's so little," Jane eventually replied, her voice sounding sad and slightly worried. "She's so little and the world is so big and there's just so many ways that she can get hurt," she explained. "How do you…I just I worry about her all the time and I feel terrible about what happened yesterday. I know it was an accident and I know you aren't mad but she's just so…and…I should have protected her. I should be able to protect her."
Smiling sadly, Maura understood what Jane meant, having dealt with this same feeling herself on more than one occasion. "You know when Amelia was first born I was terrified. The first few months of her life I was so scared that something would happen to her; that she would be hurt, or that I wouldn't be a good enough Mother to her," she explained, her eyes focused solely on Jane while the brunette's focus remained on Amelia. "I hardly ever put her down for fear that something would happen if I did and I spent all of my time trying to be the perfect parent but do you know what I realized?" She asked, barely noticing the small shake of Jane's head. "There's no such thing as the perfect parent. We all make mistakes Jane. Kids get sick and they get hurt, but you know what? They bounce back and no matter what, they still love you. They always love you."
"So you're saying I can't wrap her up in bubble wrap and keep her with me at all time?" Jane asked, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth, obviously trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm afraid not," Maura grinned, shuffling even closer to the brunette. "But somehow I think she'll be okay, just the same."
"Mommy?" Amelia suddenly stirred, turning her head towards the sound of her Mother's voice.
"Good morning Baby," Maura smiled. "Did you have a nice sleep on top of Mama?"
"Mama's warm," Amelia nodded, her head still tucked beneath Jane's chin, the brunette unable to hold back a smile at the little girl's words. "My arm hurts Mommy."
"Okay honey, we'll get you some aspirin," Maura nodded, while Jane rubbed Amelia's back, doing her best not to feel guilty. "It will help with the pain and then you can spend the whole day doing whatever you like. Does that sound okay?" She asked, glad that it was still Sunday, giving Amelia one more day to rest before returning to school.
"Can I spend the whole day with you and Mama? Can we make a fort in the living room and watch movies?" Amelia was quick to ask, easily forgetting her pain, as she got excited.
They were meant to go into work today. There wasn't an active case at the moment, but they were meant to go in and complete their paperwork, and yet as both women glanced at each other they instantly knew that wasn't going to happen.
"We sure can Bug," Jane smiled, hugging the little girl tight. "Anything you want."
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Later that afternoon Jane and Amelia lay in a fort of pillows on the family room floor, Amelia's head resting on Jane's chest while a movie played on the TV. Maura, who had insisted that they eat something more nutritious than takeout, had retreated to the kitchen to put something together for dinner.
"Mama?" Amelia eventually broke the silence that had fallen over them; surprising Jane who was beginning to think the little girl had fallen asleep.
"Yeah Bug?" Jane replied, running her hand over the five year old's head.
"S'okay that I call you Mama now?" Amelia asked, making Jane freeze, having not expected the question.
"Wha…of…of course it is," Jane stuttered slightly, sitting up so she could see Amelia properly. "Of course it's okay that you call me Mama," she repeated more firmly. "It actually makes me very happy to hear you call me that."
"It does?" Amelia sounded surprised.
"Of course it does," Jane smiled. "I love hearing you call me Mama because…well…because I… well I love you honey and I want…I want to be your Mama and I want you to be my daughter."
"I want that too," Amelia grinned big, wrapping her arms around the brunette's neck, careful of her cast.
"Well what is going on over here?" Maura, who had just put dinner in the oven, asked, finding the pair still embraced. "Are we snuggling without me? Because you know I don't like to be left out of snuggling," she smiled, sitting down, laughing as Amelia wrapped her good arm around her neck.
"You can snuggle with us too Mommy," Amelia told her. "We are very happy."
"Oh you are?" Maura smiled. "And why is that?"
"Because Mama is Mama now," Amelia replied seriously, like it was the simplest thing in the world, Maura surprisingly understanding the little girl's logic. "We's happy about that because Mama loves me and I love Mama."
"And we love Mommy too," Jane added with a smile of her own. "Right Bug?"
"We love Mommy very much," Amelia nodded.
"Well I'm glad to hear that because I love you both too," Maura chuckled as the trio lay back against the pillows. "You know, school will be over soon. I think it's about time we start planning that trip to the beach that we've been talking about."
"I wanna go to the beach!" Amelia nodded enthusiastically.
"Think we can swing a week off considering how much time we've spent off due to injuries this year?" Jane asked with a laugh.
"It may be difficult but I'm fairly certain we're both entitled to vacation time," Maura replied. "Plus I really can't imagine Cavanaugh denying you a vacation. He's the one always telling you, you work too much."
"Yeah well that's the job," Jane replied with a shrug. "I do think the beach sounds pretty perfect. Though I think we should wait until you can walk without a limp."
"Oh please I'm barely even limping today," Maura scoffed. "Although I would like to wait until later in Amelia's summer vacation. She's already enrolled in that book camp at the library so she can't miss any of that."
"Only you would send your kid to book camp," Jane rolled her eyes.
"I like book camp!" Amelia replied excitedly, even though she had never been to camp. "I love books! They're the best!"
"Exactly," Maura raised her eyebrow. "So shall I make a plan for August?"
"August sounds great," Jane nodded her agreement, Amelia's attention already back on the movie as she leaned into the brunette's side. "I can't wait."