Author's Note: You never thought Spencer would be jealous of "me", now did you?

Day One-Hundred Ninety-Six: Jealousy by Marina and the Diamonds

I looked over at Toby and his friend, Tiffany. I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

I hated admitting that I had a bit of a jealous streak. People always liked to regard me as smart and this was such a stupid thing. It was even a bit embarrassing.

But I couldn't help it. I was a jealous girlfriend. I wanted him to be mine and mine only. I believe that is jealousy.

Toby came back over a few moments later with my coffee in hand. He kissed me on the cheek. I tried to smile, but I could feel the jealousy creeping up on me. It bubbled up inside, attacked, and threatened to take over my whole body. Jealousy was like a malignant disease and I had it. It was so hard to control now that I saw him as mine and only mine.

I looked over at Tiffany and narrowed my eyes a bit. They'd been "friends" in college, but some part of me wasn't exactly convinced that "friends" was all they really were. Still, I never said anything. I didn't want to come off as jealous, even if I really was.

I brushed my hair in the vanity as I waited for Toby to come over. We were going out on a date that night.

Just as I was in the midst of brushing my hair, Toby walked in with the key I gave him. He was laughing as he spoke on the phone.

I promised myself I wouldn't be jealous this night. It was supposed to be a good night. I was supposed to be stronger. Was this what love felt like: jealousy? I always felt worse the more I tried to suppress those feelings of envy. For some reason, that only made me feel worse.

"Is everything alright, Spencer?" Toby asked.

I tried to smile, but it came off as forced. This jealousy just made me feel so ugly inside. My attention was averted from my ugly, covetous reflection to the flower sitting in a vase on the vanity. It was once perfectly red, but it was now starting to wilt around the edges.

"I'm fine."

But "fine" I was not. No. I was unwell. I had come down with jealousy, a hideous, malevolent bitch of a disease.

Sarah: Yeah, I don't really get sick either (except for the last two years, in January, I've gotten Bronchitis [and yeah, it sucks; ain't nobody got time for that]). I hope you feel better. I got a B on the history test (an 83, which I'm actually quite impressed with since the highest I've heard of now is like a 91). I got an A- on another History thing. I'm really happy, though, that I got a 93 on my math test. I'm really proud of myself. Thank you. And YES, please. I'm sorry, the first one-shot ("The Dollhouse") is not as good as I hoped it would have been, but it's my first one...hopefully, it'll get better.

AL3110: Dora is annoying. You're going to gain 5 stone in the US. JK, that would be a lot of weight. I think we should bring you to some Italian restaurant (because Italian is just so Staten Island). Thanks. I don't know if I can ever outdo myself there. I guess not. I'll try, still. Watch; the last one-shot is going to be absolutely awful. I can feel it. Yes, I can be Marina and you can be Lana. Yeah, well that was how I interpreted it. #DealWithIt

Tomorrow's one-shot will be Confession by Rachael Sage. I really like that song and I sort of like the one-shot. Like...it's decent. Also, please check out my new writing tumblr! It's going to be all my writing. It's called hemingwayandthebodyelectric, in case you didn't see my note yesterday :) -Kayson