Author's Note: Obviously, this is not the Rachael Sage song I was talking about being the last one-shot :) Any more guesses?

Day One-Hundred Ninety-Seven: Confession by Rachael Sage

I looked across the room at Emily. She was talking to Spencer and Spencer looked happy. Of course, she was happy. She had a great doctor fiancé. She had a great life. She had someone who was going to put her first, above anything and everything else.

I wanted to talk to Emily, but Spencer already spoke to her. I'd fallen out of touch with just about everyone in Rosewood when I left. I just didn't want to be in contact with that town anymore; it held too many painful memories. I'd left not long after Spencer left me and I didn't want to be back.

For some reason, I had found myself back in Rosewood two years later. For what, exactly, I don't even know anymore. My reasoning had gotten skewed. I no longer knew why I was there; whether it was really because of work or because I wanted her back, I was not sure.

All I could think as I looked over at her was just how beautiful she looked. More beautiful than before, if even possible. She looked happy now, happier than she ever looked with me. I suppose when you cut the strings from someone and let them loose, they flourish into the person they really want to be. It made me think of just how much I took her for granted. I really thought she'd be there, no matter what. I never realized how much I neglected her.

I really thought I was going to marry her someday. I really thought that from the moment I met her.

But now she was going to marry someone else. Now she was going to be someone else's wife. Now…only diaphanous, fond memories that brought feelings of melancholia existed.

I walked out of the café that day. I couldn't stand to be there as she basked in the glow of her new engagement. It was too painful. I didn't want to celebrate that the love of my life was getting married to someone else.

It was around Christmastime when this all happened. As a matter of fact, it was the 23rd of December, two days before Christmas. The streets of Rosewood were lit with white and red lights. There were small Christmas trees outside of the stores in Rosewood Square. The streets were lined with white, fluffy snow of the recent snowfall. Streetlamps made the snowflakes glisten a glowing, golden color. It was beautiful, but I couldn't feel sadder.

I was my own person, with or without her, and I had to learn to accept that.

But each and every time I thought of her, I thought of us and how we were together. She was my best friend. I wanted a best friend, maybe just like her, but the problem was that I only wanted her. She was my only best friend. She was the only person I knew how to love like a best friend.

The snow crunched quietly under my feet. I knew that I could, at any moment, slip due to the gossamer blanket of white beneath me, but I didn't care. I didn't know where I was going, anyway. If I had slipped on the ground, I probably would've stayed there until someone found me. I just didn't know what to do.

Scared and shattered. That's what I was, I decided. I was shattered that she was finally happy. How selfish did that make me? I had to stop wanting her. But it hurt more than words could express.

Finally, as I passed by the park, I decided that I needed to sit down and think about all of this.

Where did everything go wrong?

Well, they had been wrong for a long time, in truth. I didn't let her in enough. I never showed her how I really felt. I never said "I love you" like she deserved to hear it (which was every day). I was too scared. I didn't talk to her enough. I was afraid of losing her, so I didn't show her how I really felt.

But I would end up losing her anyway. It was so dumb.

I decided, finally, to pick myself up and go back to the Brew. Spencer was having a get-together there with her friends to celebrate her engagement. I was there because…well, I wanted to see Emily. I said hello to her, but Emily quickly went to wish Spencer a happy engagement and I was left alone. I might as well go back to wish Spencer the same and talk to Emily.

I walked back to the Brew to find Spencer with an unlit cigarette between her lips as she was looking at her phone. She looked a bit annoyed with whatever she was reading before she shoved the phone back in her pocket. She pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette. Not long after, she noticed me walking up. After taking a drag, she said, "Oh, hi, Toby."

"Hi, Spencer," I answered awkwardly.

She took another drag before continuing. "I haven't seen you back in a while." Little tendrils of smoke swirled out as she spoke. I saw what her eyes were really dying to know, though. It was like a little glistening of curiosity hidden behind her deep brown eyes.

"I know. I needed a break from Rosewood," I answered earnestly. "I heard that you're engaged now."

"Oh," she said before looking at her ring. It was on the same hand which she held the cigarette. "Yeah. He's a great guy."

Much better than me. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." She had to know that I wasn't really that glad to hear that she was marrying someone else.

It was quiet between the two of us as I pretended to have gotten a text message. She broke the silence about three minutes later. "You know, you don't have to act like you're happy for me," she said.

"Why wouldn't I be happy for you?"

"Oh, come on. I can see it in your eyes. You're not glad that I'm marrying someone else."

I was silent. "I'm glad you're happy," I insisted.

"He's a good guy," she responded. It wasn't exactly defensive…perhaps agitated was a better word. "He's a doctor. He's sweet and smart and loyal."

I really didn't want to hear it, but I guess I deserved it.

"How would your doctor fiancé feel about you smoking?"

She flinched a bit before putting the cigarette back between her lips, almost like an act of defiance. "He's the one who introduced me to it."

I scoffed. This just got better and better. "You know, you don't have to be like this about it. I already lost my muse. You don't need to kick me while I'm down," I told her sadly as I began to walk away.

"Toby, wait."

I stopped just as I passed the Brew. Finally, I turned around. "I'm sorry, Spencer. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I loved you and that I didn't cherish you and that I didn't talk to you openly like I should've!" I confessed. "Are you happy now? Are you satisfied?"

She didn't respond as she flicked the ashes off the end of the cigarette.

"Now, I'm not going to stick around to watch you and your fiancé eat cake. I think I've had my heart broken enough for today."

Sarah: I'm really glad you liked it. I thought it was a change from what I usually write (at least...I think?). Than. I'm glad you could sort of recognize the mistake, though. Other than that, your grammar is pretty much on-point (from what I've seen). Esin?

AL3110:Spencer is super-jealous of me. Yeah, no, you're going to acquire fat on your trip. I'm making pizza now omg it smells so good. Well, my mom is nervous to cook for you and idk she wanted it to be nice and all. She didn't know how your dad would feel about having dinner at our house. Idk. Wait, what was sublime? Thank you. But really? That was FMN? I thought that was BA. Hmm...

Tomorrow's one-shot will be I Know It's Too Late by Lori Martini & Rebekah White. Another one on the "Spoby Dark Age". -Kayson