Author's Note: Just so nobody gets confused, the narrator is Spencer and Toby's daughter (or son? I don't think I made it explicit, but I was thinking of a daughter when I wrote this).

Day One-Hundred Ninety-Nine: Down My Spine by Rachael Sage

All I want is to dance.

Mom and Dad don't seem to see that. That's all I want and all I'll ever need. Sometimes I just want to scream it out loud but I don't have the words. I just can't find the words. I don't want them to misunderstand—or worse yet, to not understand at all. I didn't know a lot about the world at eleven years old, but I knew it seemed cold and mean. People always seem to let others down when they need them the most. At least, that's what I read in books. Dad always says that Mom used to read a lot of books when she was my age. Too bad I'm not more like her: normal. I didn't want the two people who meant the most to me in the world to seemingly…let me down. They were all I really had.

That and dance.

The doctor and my mom weren't sure whether the environment of a dance class would be a good idea; with my social anxiety and instability, they weren't sure whether a room filled with other kids would be a good idea. My dad was the one who pushed for it the most. I remember him saying something about it helping me find my voice. I don't think I can ever find the words to thank him for that, either.

I danced until my feet were bleeding, sometimes. My mom would have to make me sit down. She thought I did it because I liked the pain. While that was true, I mostly did it because I liked the dance. I liked the music. I liked the feeling. I felt like I had control.

For once, I didn't feel crazy when I felt like a little line was crawling in and out of me. There were lines all over my body and it wasn't crazy. I felt them all the time—even when I was in that odd state of half-sleep—but it never felt strange or out of place while I was dancing. I loved that the most. I felt…normal, even…good while I was dancing. I could just waste the hours just dancing and it didn't feel like I waste. I didn't want to waste away and haunt the world. I wanted to haunt the world with my dancing.

I think I haunted my dad the most. He just stared as I danced. After they tucked me into bed, I could hear my mom and dad talking in their room right across the hall. I could hear Dad say that I reminded him of his mom and my mom would quickly tell him not to worry; I wasn't going to end up like his mother.

I'd never met my grandma. They never really even talked to me about her. I didn't know what she looked like. I didn't know where she lived. I didn't know anything about her, except for that she was my dad's mother, and she apparently was a bit like me.

It took me hours to fall asleep. I stayed up, dreaming, like I wasn't even tired. I don't know if I actually was awake or if I was sleeping, now that I think about it. I was in some beautiful place—hallucinating wasn't something odd for me. I hallucinated all the time. Sometimes, the things I saw were good. Other times, they were not. But this time, it was like my room turned into a beautiful, glittering place. I thought of getting up and wearing these pretty pink pointe shoes—the very ones I had seen at a specialty dance store with my mom—on my feet. A smile came onto my face—the very one that had been gone for so long.

In this wonderland, my mom and dad were there. They got a chance to be with each other and enjoy each other's company and my company without always worrying about me. In this wonderland, there was nothing wrong. That was how I knew it was just some silly dream.

SaRah: It's alright. I spell my name like "Kayson" all the time. Right? It's a total disregard for the language. *scoffs* Alright then...that is pretty odd. Did they even have any Ebola anywhere near Canada? The only one I've heard of being in North America was in Texas (and since I'm from NY, I'm pretty sure they would've reported if there was Ebola in Canada, since we're neighbors). I'll give you a secret that helps me. What I do is I envision the overall arc of the story and then I outline it (and as you might know, everything by me is pretty much in three different parts) and come up with it as I go along. You don't have to marry any ideas, but think about what you want to do with it. The first chapter is just like an exposition chapter. From the looks of what I read, I'm guessing it's a bit like some of my stories (Begin Again, Everything Has Changed, HTBAH) in the respect that it starts in the middle of the story and then will go back to the beginning (which is what logically makes sense to me when I read that story by you). If you need help, just PM me. Thanks!

AL3110: You will get deliciously fat. Thank you darling :) I don't remember and I don't know whether to be embarrassed or just laugh at myself. Hope you liked it ;)

Tomorrow's one-shot, the 200th one-shot, shall be Perfect-oh by Marina and the Diamonds. I LOVE the song with everything I have; it's one of my favorites so you should all give it a listen. But tip: wear headphones, since if you listen to it otherwise, you can't really hear the vocal track (unless you're on your computer, I think). Bye! -Kayson

P.S.: Think of me when you eat breakfast or lunch or dinner or drink water because I can't. The water one especially makes me sad.