Hello everyone! I'm back with another update for you guys, crazy I know. I'm hoping to finish this story within the next two weeks, so I'm going to update as often as I can! I have so many story ideas for you guys and no time to write them :( seriously I have about ten story ideas in mind and I'm sure more are to come. But yeah that was just a little rant (a good one though) about what to expect for the future!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but this story, all rights reserved.
After dinner it was free time for the younger campers, so it was no surprise when Emily found me, eager to catch up. I didn't mind though. She's kind of like the little sister I never had, and I can't resist how adorable she always is.
"C'mon I have so much to tell you!" she exclaimed as she tugged on my arm.
"Ok, ok!" I laughed as she pulled to who knows where.
She took me to the common area where a lot of the younger kids hung out with each other. I sat and listened to her ramble on about all the things she had to tell me about her past year. At first I really was listening, laughing at all the silly things she told me, and stating my opinion on the questions she always asked me. But after a while I couldn't do it anymore. My mind was soon consumed in thoughts of Austin and Cassidy and how messed up this all is. How can I focus when my heart is in its worst condition yet? I just want to curl up in a corner and never come out of it again.
"Ally!" she shouted.
"Hmm?" I said, snapping my attention back to the little girl in front of me.
"I've been trying to get your attention for like three minutes!" she exclaimed.
"Sorry." I said sincerely.
"What's up with you?" she asked.
"Nothing." I lied.
I started to chew on my bottom lip nervously. Her intense stares weren't helping either.
"I thought you told me to never lie, so why are you lying?" she asked skeptically.
Darn it.
"You know sometimes I really hate that you're so smart." I told her.
A wide smile crept on her face at my words.
"Ally what's wrong?" she asked, her voice softened to a slight whisper. Her smile had disappeared so fast.
I looked at her with soft eyes and let out a small sigh.
"Big girl stuff, you wouldn't understand." I replied truthfully.
"Oh c'mon! I'm ten now! I'm practically as old as you." She defended.
A little chuckle escaped from my mouth.
"It's Austin isn't it?" she asked although she already knew the answer.
"Is there anything that doesn't get past you?" I asked a little shocked.
"So it is Austin!" she exclaimed.
"You don't sugar coat anything, do you?" I laughed.
"Ally stop avoiding the question." She warned.
How is it that a ten year old girl can be this mature?
"Ok. Part of it might have to do with Austin." I trailed off.
"I love it when I'm right!" she gloated.
I shook my head and found myself laughing again.
How'd you know?" I asked.
She shrugged simply, tilting her head to the side just a tad.
"I can just tell there's something different with you two. And not in a good way." She replied.
I can't believe I was telling my problems to a ten year old.
"Things are just … complicated. Austin has a girlfriend and his relationship is kind of getting in the way of our friendship. But that's all I'm going to tell you because you're still ten and are too young for these dramatics." I smiled at the last part.
"Ok." She said in defeat although the pout on her face was evident.
"What about you? Got a boyfriend yet back home?" I teased, trying to change the subject.
"Ew, no! Boys have cooties and don't smell that good." she grimaced.
I laughed really hard at that one.
"Oh sweetie, I used to think the exact same thing." I chuckled lightly.
"Trust me, boys will eventually turn into young men, and they happen to smell a lot nicer." I joked, although it was true.
"Thank god!" she sighed in relief, placing her hand over top of her chest.
This little girl is so dramatic and crazy sometimes, but I loved it nonetheless.
"Does Austin still have cooties?" she asked in all seriousness.
I couldn't help but smile at the mention of that. I still remember quite well how in the beginning years of our friendship that I thought Austin had cooties. You can't blame me for the little boys lack of hygiene and the weirdest of things that fascinated him. He thought I had cooties too so it's not like I was the only one being judgmental. But what did we know? We were ten and that was long before puberty did wonders for both of us, and everyone else of the opposite genders. Now Austin definitely did not have cooties, no he had the opposite of cooties. Austin possesses something that can attract every girl that's ever look at him. He has been blessed with looks that will be the death of me. And I'm so ok with that. Sounds like a pretty good way to die to me.
"No, no he doesn't anymore." I laughed lightly at her.
"And he smells pretty good now too." I joked, nodding slightly.
She studied me for a moment, something she did a lot but this time was different.
"Ally, do you like Austin?" she asked suddenly.
I mentally laughed. Like? More like madly love.
"Pft, no." I lied nervously.
Am I really that obvious?
"He's just my best friend you silly girl." I tried to convince her otherwise.
She folded her arms across her chest. I guess my words aren't so convincing.
"I can't believe you're teaching a little girl that lying is ok." She frowned, pretending to be disappointed.
Ugh, I swear I can't keep anything from her!
"Fine. There is a chance I might like Austin, but even if I did he has a girlfriend." I informed.
She squealed so loud that I think I lost the ability hear out of my left ear.
"Be any louder won't you?" the sarcasm practically dripped from my voice.
"It took you long enough!" she exclaimed.
Does anyone at this camp have any respect for my privacy and personal life because I swear this is how everyone reacts when I tell them these things! And if I'm being honest here I think she wants us to be together more than I do.
"So why aren't you dating? You should be his girlfriend." She asked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Ha. You see this is why you're still ten. It doesn't work like that." I told her.
"Well I'm sure Austin likes you too!" she smiled.
Why is it that everyone but Austin thinks this?
"Some things are better left unknown." I shrugged.
"Why don't you just tell him you like him?" she asked.
Trust me I want to, I really want to.
"Also doesn't work that way. One day you'll understand." I smiled sympathetically.
"Growing up sounds awful! First boys won't have cooties and now everything is like math, impossible to get!" she exclaimed with a look of horror.
"It's true. Enjoy being a kid while you can." I advised her.
Without warning she threw her arms around me. But this hug wasn't like the one earlier today. This one was of comfort. I think she knows my heart is hurting but understands that it's a subject I can't get into with her. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, hugging her back.
"Well it's almost time for lights out for you. You should probably head back to your cabin." I told her as we pulled apart.
"Ok." She replied as her usual bubbly self again.
I made sure she got to her cabin safely and in time before heading back to mine. When I got inside I plopped myself onto my bed, landing on my back. For a while I just lied there, enjoying the fact that I could do nothing right now. But I felt my thoughts start to wander to treacherous places.
And then I just burst into tears.
God Ally, why are you crying? You know it won't make a single thing better, much less go away. But the harder I tried to calm down, the more tears I felt come down. All the pain and anger and resentment, every possible feeling I've been holding up inside me for days was bursting out of me all at once. I was crying so hard that I started to choke on my own sobs. I hardly ever cried like this, so if I did then the situation must be really messed up for me to do so. I felt my hot tears rush down my face faster than I could keep up at wiping them away. I was even useless at wiping away my own tears of self-pity.
How did I become so stupid? How did things get so messed up? I asked myself so many questions as I cried into my pillow but I couldn't answer a single one. I'm still so useless.
I couldn't shake the feelings that had crept on me that night. I hate Cassidy. I hate her! I hate that she stole Austin from me. I hate how she's a whole lot prettier than me. I hate that she has all this control over me. I hate that I can't do a single thing about this! But most of all, I hate myself for causing all this. I can't help but think this is my fault, but can you blame me because it sure feels that way.
The tears didn't stop and neither did the aching of my heart, well what was left of it anyways because god knows it hasn't been whole in a long time. I always thought you needed your heart to live, but it turns out that having no heart just makes you empty, not dead.
Although being dead would be a lot less painful than this crap.
And that night I could hardly sleep. I hid under the covers, holding my knees to my chest as cried. And boy did I cry. A million more thoughts flooded my mind as to how this is my fault and things a lot worse about me and this stupid situation. I thought I cried all the tears out of me by three am but I stood corrected because when I was finally able to fall asleep I cried myself into my slumber too.
I probably cried enough tears to turn a dessert into a rain forest that night.
*Next Day*
"Ally, you look awful." Bea observed, grimacing a little at my current state.
I knew exactly what she meant. My appearance was of something else today.
"I didn't get much sleep last night." I explained, sure she was referring to the dark circles under my eyes.
"Clearly." Megan stated in agreement with Bea.
Before I had a chance to say something else, Darren interrupted with the start of another announcement.
"Good morning! Please check the list that has been posted outside the main cabin to see when and who you'll be teaching a class with to the younger campers today! Other than the one class you have to teach, you have the day free to yourselves! So I wish you all the best of luck." he informed with a cheery smile.
I was still half asleep when everyone started scrambling to check the list. I wonder who I was teaching with. Hopefully Megan or Bea or somebody I knew. Anyone but Cassidy and I'll be beyond happy! I would have just stood where I was but Megan dragged me along with her and Bea.
I stumbled along with the crowd and patiently waited to look at the list with the two girls at my side. Still half asleep I quickly skimmed the list. But my eyes were wide awake when I read the list.
10:30 am painting bird houses w/ 9 yr olds Ally Dawson and Austin Moon
Oh god.
I rubbed my eyes and even pinched myself a little just to make sure I wasn't still half asleep and that maybe I had accidentally misread it. But to my dismay the list was correct. And then I felt myself grow warm all over. That tingling sensation I get when I'm happy was swelling across my chest, and this was in a good way. I found myself smiling like an idiot. Last night I hit rock bottom, and hard, but the good news is that the only place left to go is up. And this was me going up.
I had no idea where Austin was but I assume he had probably already seen the list. I hope he's glad that I'm paired with him too.
And that's when I heard the most unpleasant of screams, a scream of which came from Cassidy. Oh joy, (note my sarcasm). I have to say, her shriek could seriously curdle blood but I'm not surprised as she's practically a witch.
I looked at the list and then understood why she was throwing a tantrum for the lack of a better word.
2:00 pm canoeing w/ 12 yr olds Cassidy Heart and Cole Johnson
I don't know how this happened but Cassidy isn't with Austin for once and she is downright pissed. I wish I could say I had something to do with this but I didn't. I guess going up from rock bottom brings really good things to people.
But really, it's not so good for me. If you look at the big picture, this is the worst thing for the sake of me. I know the real reason she is so pissed is because I'm with him. I'd be different if he had someone else, but he has me. She has no control over this one either. I'm basically dead meat but honestly I'm not worried quite yet. Maybe it's because I'm still really tired, or maybe it's because she's causing a scene in which no one is particularly fond of her at the moment. But whatever the reason, I finally get to spend time with Austin and I don't have to be scared out of my mind when I do.
What can I say, I guess even the Malibu Barbie has her days, and please note every ounce of sarcasm in that sentence.
"It looks like this list is rooting for you too." Megan teased.
"What are the odds!" Bea said still in her state of shock.
"I just got lucky ok. But this is just another reason for her to put me on her hit list." I said.
"She can't kill you if I kill her first." Megan pointed out lightly.
I looked at her with a "Seriously?" kind of look on my face.
"Kidding." She trailed off.
"Whatever, I'm just glad I get to spend time with him for once without her having her foot down my throat! God I swear she might actually be crazy." I told them truthfully.
"Agreed, but Ally you can't go looking like this." Bea frowned, gesturing to my current state of appearance.
"Gee, thanks for that self-esteem boost." I said.
"You still have an hour, that's plenty of time for to get looking like an actual human being again!" Megan smiled.
"Guys." I groaned.
"No buts Ally, now c'mon!" Bea exclaimed.
And suddenly I was being pulled in to the other direction by two persistent set of hands, practically dragging me to my cabin.
So as I promised laura00844109 on twitter, here is another update for you guys! And to the person with the pen name Luckystarz910, I know it's frustrating! Trust me it's just as frustrating for me when I'm writing! But I promise there will be a happy ending for Austin and Ally, I swear on my life!
Sorry it's still a little short but this one was a lot longer compared to the last update. The next one is going to be filled with a lot of Auslly though, so it'll make up for it I swear! I'm really excited to write some Auslly moments again for you guys. Please tell me your favorite and least favorite parts in the reviews! Thank you for reading and I love you guys to the moon and back!