Andy gazed at her, dumbstruck. He once again turned back his attention to his now empty cup. It was a simple enough question, one he had not contemplated in a very long time. It amazed him how already back then Sharon seemed to know the right things to say. And when he looked back up, she did indeed look just the tiniest bit pleased with herself, as if she had gotten exactly the response she had aimed for. "I don`t know" he broke the silence, "I´ll have to think about it." Her reply was a slighty condescending hum leaving him under the impression that Sharon considered it to be an easy yes or no issue. Nevertheless she excused herself and made her way to the bathroom. Andy beckoned over the waitress and ordered another round of coffee and started to weigh the pros and cons in his life before he saw himself possibly bleeding to death in a parking lot. There was his job, a job he loved, at least most of the time, that he found fulfilling and important and that always been the one constant in his he was still at the top of his game at his age made him proud. He was part of an extraordinary team that he could rely on, in and outside the station and together they worked hard to make a difference. They were friends and he would throw himself in the line of fire for each and every one of them. Then there was his family, while the atmosphere between him and Nancy was still pretty frosty, his relationship with Nicole was improving rapidly. Ever since her wedding he had been invited to every major family event, dance performance of his step grandkids and just quiet evenings at their house. He had even had dinner with his son when he was in town last and whereas things weren´t progressing quite as quickly as with Nic, there was progress none the less and he felt that he could finally play the part in his children ´s life that he had wanted to play all along. He still went to AA meetings regularly but his role was becoming more and more that of a mentor and sponsor for he himself hadn`t felt the desperate urge for a drink in quite a while now. And then there was Sharon. She had by now influenced his whole life, had helped to change it for the better. Sure, he had worked on himself adamantly long before she had walked into his life but his treacherous temper had often enough torn down with one hand what he had tried to build up with the other. She wouldn´t give up on him, sending him to the 20th anger management class, knowingly putting up with him hating her guts and making fun of her with his colleagues. And after all that crap he gave her somehow she still found a way to trust him enough to let him into her heart, making him believe again that despite all his failures and weaknesses he still deserved to be loved.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed Sharon slipping into the bench opposite him. Her voice startled him: "It´s getting late, I have to pick up my daughter from my neighbor soon!" She reached for her coffee and took a couple of sips before cradling it to warm her hands. "The answer to your question is yes", Andy finally said. Judging by the confused look that he got, her head had obviously been occupied with something else in the meantime. "I think I AM happy with who I am at this point in my life!", he said, reminding her. She gave him a broad smile that didn`t really reach her eyes. "You´re very lucky then, I guess, not many people would reach that conclusion. You should be grateful!" He couldn`t help but notice an air of bitterness in her voice when she said that. His heart clenched in his chest. He reached for her left hand and took it in his right gently caressing her knuckles while his eyes searched hers. She didn`t pull back, but firmly held his gaze. "I am!" His words were ever so gentle and heartfelt, his eyes never leaving hers and for a moment there he thought he had seen his older self reflected in them.
"I, I really have to go now" she stammered obviously not able to look away from him either. "Any more coffee?", the waitress finally broke the spell. "No, we´re fine!", Andy snapped, hoping to be rid of her quickly! She fortunately got the hint and left. Sharon attempted to do the same but was held back by Andy. "Wait , this is not fair! I answered your question! You owe me one!" He gave her a crooked smile. She carefully pulled her arm out of his grasp. "I´m sorry", her voice was trembling. She rushed past him towards the exit. Andy tried to follow her but had only made it halfway through the diner before Sharon reached the door. He already saw her storming out, when she suddenly stopped abruptly and turned around. He almost fell when he stopped as well looking at her pleadingly. She fixated him for a long while: "The answer is no!" And then she was gone.