Author's Note: So here it is! I actually like it. This is only like the fifteenth one-shot I've actually liked.

Day Two-Hundred Seven: Obsessions by Marina and the Diamonds

She woke up and looked over in horror. Another night, another man, another mistake she could never take back again. She left some meaningless note she could not recall the wording of and walked outside. Shakily, she fumbled for a cigarette and lit it, just to steady her nerves. It was still early in the morning, perhaps seven or so. The sun was starting to rise. The taste of morning breath and cigarettes in her mouth made her want to vomit, but she didn't want to go back inside to brush her teeth. She didn't want to see her mistake, clad in blue sheets.

She pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, suppressing the urge she had to cry.

No, don't cry. Don't cry. I'm sick of all your crying, Spencer. You always ruin everything for us with your stupid crying.

She bit her lip before grabbing her phone, which she'd taken out with her. She dialed a number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Toby? I need your help."

A few hours later, after the mistake up and left, Spencer stared in her pantry. She was looking at the meager amount of food in the cupboards. Crackers. That was all she had in them. Three different kinds. She stared like she was looking for an answer.

It's a stupid pack of crackers, dummy. They're all the same.

"They're not the same, though," she murmured to herself.

Hurry up! He's going to be here any minute. Why can't you do anything right? Maybe Melissa was right about you; you're nothing but a failure. You've besmirched the Hastings family name. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Her cheeks began to burn.

Hurry up!

Why couldn't she think? It felt like there were a billion eyes on her. The next minute, there was a knock on her door. She gave up on the food, knowing she probably wouldn't turn back to it for several hours, if even at all that same day.

She opened the door to see Toby standing there. She allowed him in.

"Things are bad today," she said plainly. Toby nodded in agreement.

Well of course today is a bad day. Every day with you is a bad day.

She frowned as she sat down on the couch, across from him. "Stop freaking out about the crackers," she mumbled quietly and weakly.

"What crackers?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh…nothing, Toby," she assured him.

"Spencer," he scolded, "you know that if you want me to be able to help you, you need to be honest with me."

She sighed. "She's back."

Immediately, her face paled and he reached out for her hand. She immediately pulled it away. He looked a little bit upset by that.

What the hell is wrong with you? Is your OCD kicking in or whatever the hell makes you so messed up? You should just die. It would be easier that way, anyway.

"Spencer," Toby said. She looked up and realized there were tears on the edges of her eyes.

"I wished I could just get rid of her!" she exclaimed. "But the only way to get rid of her is by getting rid of myself first," she added morbidly.

"Spencer!"

She contemplated getting up to go get a knife, but then steadied her thoughts and remained there instead. "I just want to know what made her so cold and mean. What made her so weak that she would want to pick on someone as weak as me?" she pondered aloud.

"Spencer," he repeated, more calmly this time. He grabbed both of her hands. "Please don't hurt yourself over this."

She gulped. He looked down and for the first time, realized all the cuts and scars on her wrists. She pulled away immediately and shrank into the couch.

"How could you do this to yourself?"

"She makes it sound so easy…"

He walked over to her and sat next to her. He held her in a way that made her feel like a baby. It was comforting, for once. She knew all he wanted was to expel and expunge all those evil thoughts and that evil voice she had in her mind. She really wished he could.

She woke up the next morning in her bed and looked beside her. Toby was lying next to her. She panicked and sat up quickly.

How could you hurt him like that, Spencer?! After everything he's done for you, of all people?! You're screwed up in the mind. You're such an awful person. You—

She tried to blot out the voice as she rushed out of the room and went back outside. With her shaking hands, she attempted to light a cigarette but ended up burning herself instead. She wanted to curse, but she supposed she deserved that and much worse.

"Like you've never made a mistake."

You're right. I have made a mistake. And so have you. We all make mistakes. Now you have to rectify yours.

"And what about yours?"

Well…I can never rectify that. It's too bad. You still have the chance to get rid of all your vices and your obsessions.

"I do?"

Of course, you do, idiot. You're alive. You exist. You have everything at your fingertips. Now stop fucking up.

sarahschneider2012: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it.

MilaMizz:My top two are Columbia and NYU (I'm extremely ambitious; I know) and my third pick would be Cornell. The first one I heard from Marina (that I knew was by Marina) was either Lies or Sex Yeah (those were the first two I bought). Obsessions was the first one I heard off of TFJ. SAME. I love Froot. It's been stuck in my head all day. My mom mocks me for sitting in my room and writing all day but she doesn't really care all that much. Funny story. I'm the same (I like stuff to be big on me), and last year when I went to London, apparently the sizes are a bit different there. I got an XL sweatshirt figuring it would be fine like the XL at home in America. The sleeves are like one and a half times the length of my arm and the torso itself goes down to my knees. It's super-comfy, though. I'm sure you'd be cute either way. My mom always tells me I dress like an old person/little girl, but then I just look at her and say, "Well, do you want me to dress like a slut?"

Tomorrow's one-shot is going to be If I Knew by Bruno Mars. Tomorrow is also the day MY DEAR ALLIECAT COMES TO SEE NYC I can just tell she's going to love it.

And tomorrow, I get to sleep in late (hallelujah). I did not notice how fatigued I've been. Usually, on weekends, I stay up until like 3 or 4 AM but I've just been crashing at 12:30ish and waking up at like 9:30-10:00 (for some reason, I usually wake up on weekends at like 7:30-8:00 and then cry because I can't go back to sleep). So...yay, sleep. -Kayson