Sorry this took so long :( but I've been really busy with school. I thought this would come a lot quicker, but well, here you go. I hope you enjoy even though it made me sad to write this for some reason.

The world seemed to crawl to a stop at her words. My mind went blank, and I knew my mouth was probably hanging open. I started staring off into space, eyes unfocused.

What? How can this be happening?

I swallowed hard, shifting my eyes to look over a her. She looked upset, her gray eyes desperately searching my face for any sort of emotion. Sadness. Anger. Anything. I knew she was probably worried. That this...this breakup or what ever it was would set me off again. That it would make things worse, that I would start losing myself. It was probably why she was so distracted this morning. Maybe she was right to be worried.

I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. Well, maybe not yet. I'm sure I would be, when it all started to think in.

Right now, it...it was more like disbelief.

I didn't understand.

I'd never, not once, imagined this situation. Never even considered breaking up with her, or having her breakup with me. We were so good together, or at least I thought. Everyone else seemed to think so too. We were the golden couple, perfect for each other in every way.

From that moment at the bottom of the lake, that tender, incredible moment so soon after defeating Kronos...I thought we would be together forever. Everything felt right then, for one of the first times in my life. We were perfect...meant for each other...

Years of build up, years of thinking that maybe I felt something more than friendship for her, finally culminating in that one, wonderful kiss that proved something. It proved that we were meant for each other, that we could be together after thinking about it for so long. Because I didn't love Rachel, not like I loved Annabeth, and because Luke was gone and she'd dealt with her feelings for him.

I though things would be perfect.

Because the way she made me feel...it was amazing. Better than Rachel, better than anyone.

I loved her, back then. So much. She was my everything.

She'd always been so understanding. For the longest time, she'd know me better than anyone after surviving countless quests and battles and war with me. She'd only been replaced by Nico, and only as of late. Only after Tartarus was she...not enough.

I thought she loved me, honestly loved me. I thought we had the world in front of us. I thought we had a bright future.

It was so simple to imagine it, blazing white and bright. Being with her...having that prospect of a life together...it had kept me fighting. She'd kept me going when my memories had been erased, when nothing more than a homeless street kid led by Lupa, when I was a Roman son of Neptune instead of a Greek. All I could remember was her, how she made me feel. Nobody else, not my mom, my friends, Chiron, anyone. Just Annabeth. All I knew was that I had to find her.

That had to count for something.

It had to prove something, how much she meant to me.

I'd even imagined our future, everything we could do together. A lot, actually, whenever I felt unsure. Before Tartarus, before everything was sucked out of me...the thoughts had been enough to keep me going.

I always considered finishing high school, getting a job in the city and finding a place to live with her, a nice cozy apartment. We could go back to camp in the summer, be counselors and train all the new half bloods. Annabeth could go to college for architecture and get a job at a firm, contribute her own design to the New York skyline. Maybe I'd be a teacher, like Paul, so I could help kids like me. And we could get married, a small ceremony at camp with just out friends and families...we could have kids of our own. I don't know, a little girl named Thalia, maybe. Smart like her mom but fierce like the both of us, with Annabeth's hair and my eyes...

Was it pathetic to think like that? I'd imagined so much more, in so much detail. Our kids, more than anything. What they would be like. How I would do anything for them, make sure they didn't turn out...like me. Make sure they would never feel bad about themselves, never be told they were worthless.

I thought about the life I could give them. I thought about making them happy.

It's all I wanted.

But I don't know. It probably was pathetic and dumb. I'd never told Annabeth but...it had always helped me, at least before Tartarus.

It all just sounded so prefect.

But not anymore.

After all these years of fighting or being absolutely terrified, and I thought I could finally be left in peace with the beautiful girl I loved and start a life and just be loved.

Was it too much to ask?

I deserved it, I thought I truly deserved to be happy after all my service to the Gods, it was the least they could give us. All the hell, all the pain, all the stress. I thought I deserved this amazing life with her.

I thought I deserved happiness for once. For once...

Not so much now I guess. I didn't deserve her...I would never get my happy ending because I couldn't imagine finding someone like her...someone that understood me like she did.

I just didn't understand.

Why?

Why didn't she didn't love me any more?

She was just cutting me out of her life, dealing the final blow like I was nothing. Like I didn't matter, like I hadn't spent so much time thinking about our someday.

I knew she didn't want just a "break". This was it. We'd never get back together.

She was leaving me. She didn't want me anymore.

It was like she'd been doing it all summer, talking to me less and less, avoiding my eyes. She was always holed up in her cabin, or busy doing something. She stopped coming to my cabin when I had nightmares. She just...stopped caring.

And she was moving away too, leaving for California with her dad even though being so close to Mount Tam was insane and she hated her stepmother with a passion. I wouldn't be able to even see her...or talk to her or have her there for me.

I knew that things were difficult, I knew that I was difficult. I wasn't stupid. I knew it would be hard for her to deal with me when...when I was like that, when I was broken and gone. I knew I didn't make it easy for her, but I thought that she would understand. I thought she cared even about me to stay.

Gods, I should have seen it...should have talked to her, tried to help her understand what I was going through. I should have done something, anything.

But no. No, I pushed her away. I was stupid. I was so, so stupid.

Gods, and I'd honestly thought things were getting better. I felt like I was finally getting to the point where I could function again, where I could leave camp and get back to school. I could be normal again, thanks to Nico. I thought that once I was normal...things would go back to normal with her too.

We could be together, we could move on from this shit.

I so foolishly thought that she was avoiding me because she was just nervous around me when I was really bad. Like, she always liked to be in control, to know what to do, but when I was bad she didn't know what to do to help me. I though it just scared her, not being able to do anything.

But I was okay now. Better than I'd been in a long time. She should want me again, things should be okay.

I thought that would be enough.

Was I still too broken for her?

I knew I wasn't perfect, and I probably never would be again. I still had nightmares, but less often now. I still had off days, but I was learning how to deal with them. Tartarus changed me but...but I thought she would still accept that.

I was trying to be better. I really, really was. I wasn't shutting myself out anymore. I was trying so hard, but it wasn't enough.

It was never enough. I wasn't good enough for her.

I'd honestly thought it wouldn't matter, what had happened to me in the past. I'd always thought it would be something we could work through together. I thought she didn't care if I was broken. I thought that she tried to understand and support me. Wasn't that what she was supposed to do as my girlfriend, my best friend for these some five years.

I thought she still loved me.

And I thought I still loved her back.

But I don't. Because she doesn't love me.

And she never will.

It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters.

There was no way to save this, no way to fix it. She was done with me, simple as that. I was too broken, too stupid, too...something...for her to even bother with. I wasn't worth her time. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't golden, I wasn't the hero anymore.

I was just broken.

Maybe she'd find a mortal guy out in California to fool around with, someone smart and handsome and kind. Or God's forbid, some stoic Roman would take my place. Like Jason. Someone strong and perfect and handsome. A soldier that wasn't broken. A demigod that wasn't an idiot.

Someone better.

Gods, nothing mattered anymore.

She didn't love me.

So I was angry, bitter beyond belief. So fed up with this shit. Everything I thought was a lie, just a goddamn lie. Years wasted thinking about her, caring about her when all she wanted to do was break my heart. So much time spent thinking about a future that was never going to fucking happen.

But I was sad too. Because our future would never happen. Because I would never be happy. Because I had no plans for a life without her. They all involved her. Our life, our happiness, our kids. Always ours.

All this time together, all this time thinking about our future...it was all stupid and pointless.

"Percy?" I heard her whisper gently, moving her hand to rest on my knee.

I flinched away, but turned my head a bit to look at her, and she looked back up at me, eyes shining.

"Look...I-I'm sorry," she started again, breathing shakily out of her mouth, "But you need to understand. I can't...can't help you anymore, and you deserve someone who can be there for you...who gets what you went through. I'm sorry..."

Her voice trailed off, small and cracked. She kept looking at me, her hands twisted in her lap.

Did she feel bad?

It didn't matter. If she felt that bad, she wouldn't be doing this. She was just lying, saying that it was her and not me. Not trying to make me feel worse, more broken. It was a textbook breakup line. It's not you, it's me.

Bullshit.

I turned away. I couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. Couldn't even look at her or I would...I don't know. Start crying, start begging for her to stay. Make a fool of myself again.

No.

So I stared at the door, trying to keep my eyes steady and my face a mask. I couldn't let her know how bad it was because it would just prove how broken I was, how she couldn't fix my problems, how pointless it was for her to try. It would just prove that she had every right to leave me alone, to leave me behind. To move on and find someone whole, who could love her.

"It's fine," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, trying to stop the bitterness from seeping through, "I get it."

And I got up, without another word, without another look in her direction. I just got up and left, closing the door behind me.

It didn't matter. She didn't matter. Nothing did.

I went to go see Nico again. I needed to talk to him, even if he couldn't talk back.

Let me know what you think, please. I'd love to get some feedback, whatever that may be. Well, I hope to be back around soon, so see you then.