So this was supposed to be up last night, but spontaneous power outages are a bitch xD

Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'm sorry this took so long! Please leave a review if you enjoy, or have been enjoying!

I ran to Nico, as fast as I possibly could.

I couldn't really deal with anyone else, or anything else, not after...after what happened. Not after Annabeth...

I couldn't go to Jason. He would try to be understanding...but he just wouldn't get it. He still had Piper...he never had to imagine this kind of situation. They were still perfect...

And I couldn't go to Piper. She wouldn't get it either. Maybe I could talk to her later...in a few days. Maybe she could help me, give me some sort of advice...

I couldn't be alone either. Gods, I couldn't be alone.

So I needed Nico. He was the only one I could go to, the only one I was comfortable with.

I ran straight to the infirmary, trying to keep myself together. Trying not to break down. Trying not to make a fool of myself. Ignoring the weird looks I was getting from the other campers.

I just knew that I needed him, I knew just having him there would be enough to calm me down. Even if it was just his presence. So I ran, if nothing than to remind me that he was there, that he was still alive and okay. It was all I could hope for.

There was nobody in the infirmary when I got there, and I was so thankful for that. Nobody was there, actually. No Apollo kids, no other patients. Not Hazel or Jason or anyone. I was glad. Because when I rounded that corner...I just shut everything out. I was glad there was nobody there. I didn't want to have to do this in front of people.

When I collapsed in that chair near his bed...it was just the two of us in our own little world, nothing else mattered. Everything else faded, and all I could focus on was him to keep myself together. I really wanted to keep it together...

So I unloaded it all, everything that'd happened between Annabeth and I. I told him about everything that happened, what she did to me. Absolutely everything. I vented.

I sat next to him and leaned close, whispering almost angrily. Almost. I grabbed his hand in mine, and took comfort in the small gift I was given.

I let it all out, a flurry of emotion. Shifting between everything imaginable, every possible emotion. I didn't even know how I felt. I hadn't organized my thoughts or anything...I just let it pour out. I would have time to think later.

I just needed to talk. So I did.

I talked about the disbelief, that first, horrible moment when the world stopped spinning and I could only stare at her and wonder what the hell was going on. How I still didn't really understand.

I talked about the anger too. How terrible it was of her to do this to me. How much I hated her for it. How much I felt like I'd wasted all these years, only to have it end up like this.

And I talked about the sadness too, the insecurity. How I knew it was all because I was broken. How much it hurt to have that thrown back in my face when I was trying so hard to be better.

I even told him about how scared I was, that I was still too broken to be loved and cared about. If Annabeth couldn't love me anymore...was there any hope? She was supposed to be the one. She was supposed to be the person that loved me no matter what, who didn't care how sad and broken I was.

But not any more. She wasn't the one, she didn't love me anymore because I wasn't strong and perfect. I wasn't the amazing hero she wanted me to be. There were so many heroes she could have, so many guys that'd made it through the war unscathed and with honors. She could find another Greek, or maybe a Roman. A decorated, but still sane, veteran.

She could find someone...someone who was everything I was supposed to be. Everything I wasn't anymore.

She could get someone better, quite easily. She was beautiful and smart and fierce and bright...and well, sweet, when she wanted to be. I was happy with her, when we'd had our chance. I knew she could make someone else happy, like she'd made me. I knew someone else could make her happy too.

But...even if I'd been questioning our relationship before...it didn't matter. Nothing I could have ever though would've changed things. I only questioned it because she stopped wanting to spend time with me.

I still loved her, I still cared about her, even now. I still wanted everything I'd dreamed of.

I still wanted her.

I wanted our happy life. I wanted it all because it was the only thing I had to look forward to in my life.

I wanted to hug her, to kiss her. I wanted to go on dates, to the movies, to dinner. I wanted her to call me Seaweed Brain again, and laugh at my bad jokes and stupidity.

I wanted an easy, normal life after all this hell. I wanted to still be in love with my best friend...

But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried. I couldn't get her back. She didn't want me back...

Was it selfish? To still want her back?

I knew full well that my...condition...had strained her. I knew she felt helpless because I felt helpless too. I knew I was hard to deal with, that nobody's idea of a good night was staying up with me as I screamed in my nightmares. I knew it was stressful, horrible even, for her to watch me fade away, powerless to do anything to help me.

It probably was selfish, to want to tie her down with my unfortunate excuse for a life.

She deserved better...

Still...I wanted it. More than anything.

But I couldn't have it. I couldn't have her.

I was so confused. I didn't know what to do...how to feel.

I was confused. I didn't understand why she'd done this. There were so many questions. Was there something else going on? Had something else prompted this? How long had she been thinking this? Did she have someone else already?

I was angry. I felt like I should hate her for hurting me...for doing this. She should have...I don't know...tried harder. She should've stuck around and tried. She should have let me prove to her that I was getting better...

I felt sad too. Because despite everything...I still loved her...She was my everything, and now she was gone.

So I loved her and hated her and hated myself...

I just...I needed Nico.

I needed him to be awake. I needed him to be here, really here.

I could imagine this, this whole disaster, but with him awake instead.

I could imagine running to the Hades cabin instead of the infirmary. He would answer the door and usher me in, and I would lie down on his bed. And he would just sit there next to me, listening with a hand on my shoulder. He wouldn't talk, not until he was sure I was done. And then he would comfort me. He would hug me. He would tell me that I wasn't too broken, that there was still someone out there that could love and care for me. He would know what to say to make me feel better...

I was still glad I had him though, even if was unconscious.

It was better than nothing.

It was better than being alone...

I spent the next fews days with Nico. Just Nico.

Pretty much nobody else.

I didn't talk to anyone, at least not when I didn't have to.

I stayed away. I ignored people. I ignored everything...

Each morning I just went down to the infirmary and sat with him. I held his hand, hoping to feel his fingers curl around mine as he woke up. Sometimes I talked to him. I told him about what was going on around camp, what he was missing. How much everyone wanted him to wake up. Sometimes I talked about myself, and how I was feeling because despite how much time I spent with him, I still had plenty of time to think on my own.

I didn't eat much. Sometimes I'd leave the infirmary near the end of dinner and grab something small last minute, but I would always go late enough to ensure nobody would be around. I still wanted to be alone, so real meals were out.

I didn't sleep much either. I usually didn't leave the infirmary until late at night, again, when I was sure nobody would see me. The nightmares were getting worse again since I didn't have Nico around to comfort me. But everyone seemed to understand not to bother me. They didn't try to come into my cabin, they didn't all gather around trying to figure out what was happening. Jason didn't come and stand by my door. And...and Annabeth didn't either come either, of course. She didn't care that I was screaming...even though I knew she could hear me. Sometimes I would end up nodding off during the day, but I would never have nightmares while I was in the infirmary...probably because he was there next to me.

So spending time in the infirmary didn't leave much time for food...or for sleep...or much of anything...

I didn't even leave often. I spent the majority of my day there, and I usually only left when someone came in the room, but that didn't happen often.

An Apollo kid would stop by every once in a while to check on his condition. I stayed during those visits, just to hear how he was doing.

Usually only Hazel came around since Nico was her brother. She didn't stay long though, and mostly just stopped by to see how he was doing.

Jason stopped by once or twice, but I think he was more worried about me than Nico. After all, Nico was going to be fine. But me? Nobody was sure how "fine" I would be. So he stayed a bit longer than Hazel, tried to get me to talk about everything...but there was no way I would. He wouldn't understand, he wouldn't be able to help. It would be pointless.

So that distinct lack of visitors made Piper's sudden appearance pretty surprising.

She'd never visited before, but she just walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the bed, looking quickly at Nico then back at me.

"Hey," she murmured, giving me a nervous once over. I probably looked like hell...

I murmured my own hello, and an awkward silence followed. Neither of us said anything, or could think of anything to say. I certainly had nothing to say to her, nothing to talk about. So I just kept looking at Nico, and she kept looking at me.

After a while, she broke the silence, "So...um, how is he?"

She was probably just trying to be polite...

"He's...well, he's fine. He's going to be fine, I guess. He should be waking up soon," I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"That's, uh, good," she replied, twisting her braid awkwardly.

Cue the silence again.

This one lasted longer, and with my few glances up at her, I could tell she was struggling to say something. I didn't know what she could possibly have to say. Gods, maybe she'd talked to Annabeth. I really, really didn't want to hear any of that...

But again, she broken the silence, "Percy...I-I probably should have come to you about this before. I mean, I think it might've had something to do with the whole...Annabeth thing. I'm sorry, it's just for the longest time I couldn't believe it. I'm sure you don't know or...or you would've done something about it. But well...there's been this rumor going around camp for a pretty long time that...um, that you have some, uh, more than friendly feelings for Nico..."

:O

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