Well, I did say there was going to be one more "arrival-like" chapter. I'm not entirely sure why I'm trying to keep who this is a secret, because if you know about semi-recent TF2 it's probably pretty clear, but hey, why not. Also, it's mostly in first-person, which is a bit odd, but it fits with what this is supposed to be.

And as always, thanks for reading, you wonderful people you.

Report Begins:

During reconnaissance of RED team, the subject known as Merasmus appeared, instigating a fight. The subject appeared to be losing for quite some time, but then created an anomaly, resulting in the members of RED team ceasing to exist in this plane, after which he was joined by an unknown female. The woman created another anomaly and she and the subject stepped into it.

In accordance with protocol 82.94e, I endeavored to follow undetected. Before the anomaly dissipated, I entered it.

Upon entering, I was rendered unconscious, though, due to emergency backup functions, cloaking was instantaneously activated, and no entity seemed to have noticed my presence when I once again regained consciousness. However,

I was informed upon regaining consciousness that numerous issues had arisen internally, possibly causing erratic behavior and/or thoughts. These include the execution of emergency protocol 13.66b, which would normally have applied in this situation. Attempts to comply were met with internal resistance and loss of arm control, and attempted circumventions of protocol to achieve the desired result were unsuccessful.

As a result, I decided to attempt to continue observations, as if the anomaly never occurred, as following those protocols did not cause resistance. After coming to this conclusion, I observed my surroundings. There were no signs of RED team members, nor and sign of the subject Merasmus and the unknown woman. I appeared to be in a cave of some sort, though not a naturally occurring one. The stone was shaped in such a way that there is a 98% chance of the cave being created by stone masons, though the roughness of the workmanship would suggest ones without access to modern tools. Other items of interest follow: there appeared to be a table made of the stone, which was covered by a piece of thin, tasseled fabric. On top of the fabric rested a small vase of flowers, as well as a small jar filled with incense. Closer inspection revealed the incense had been lit at least an hour earlier, judging by the size and burn marks on the sticks. Looking at the ceiling revealed an intricate web of strands of rope, with large, jagged pieces of paper hanging from the ropes at various intervals. A large bookshelf sat in a corner of the room, filled with books of varying titles. An unusually large proportion of them had a word relating to magic in their title.

After observing the room, I entered a corridor from which light came. After entering the corridor, it became apparent that the light came from candles encased in paper containers (apparently ignoring the flammability of the material, but considering the lack of any burnt remains on the floor, I concluded that the paper was somehow rendered fire-proof). The web on the ceiling continued out into this corridor as well, stretching down the length of it. Following the corridor led to a set of stairs carved into the rock. Ascending the staircase led to what appeared to be a dead end, however, observation of the portion of the ceiling around which the web of rope and paper formed a circle revealed it to be a different substance than the surrounding walls. Applying force to that portion of the ceiling caused it to shift. Pushing it aside revealed a view of the sun and sky, slightly obscured by trees. The trees were not native to Kong King, so the anomaly had, at the very least, shifted me in space. After climbing out of the hole and placing the rock back over it, my suspicions were confirmed, as I found myself in a clearing in a grove of trees. Observation revealed this trees to be Japanese cedars, which were thought to be extinct after the great Japanese deforestation in 1946, as part of a means to counteract the great American table shortage of 1945. In addition, a stream wound through the trees, flowing towards an unknown destination. Following the stream led to a small lake, in which there appeared to be a large turtle in the center. However, inspection revealed it to be sleeping, and therefore not a threat. On the other side of the lake, a portion of a wooden building was observed, and, taking care not to wake the turtle or enter the water, I approached it, as, if the cloaking technology held, I could learn more about the land by observing the people of the area.

The building, when I reached it, appeared to be made almost entirely of wood. A large walkway circumnavigated the building, with at least one sliding door on each side. Circling towards the front entrance, I began to pick up the very faint sound of a distant conversation. After passing a well, I came upon a large courtyard, with a wooden arch on the opposite end, apparently a Japanese Torii gate. The courtyard itself was empty, save for a small shack off on the side. The conversation I'd been hearing seemed to be coming from there, so I headed towards it, passing by an offering box (which seemed to be empty). As I approached, I started to be able to understand the conversation (my default language had apparently been affected by the errors and set to Japanese).

Transcript Follows:

"-you appreciate it." (an unrecognized female voice)

"We do Reimu, we really do!" (a voice belonging to the unknown female last seen with Merasmus)

"Yes, we truly do Miss Hakurei," (a voice belonging to Merasmus) A bump was heard, followed by a short swear from Merasmus. "Is there any chance we could move this conversation to somewhere with more…um…head room?"

"No." (voice previously recognized as 'Reimu')

A sigh. "Just take off the hat, Mer." (unknown woman)

"What? You know I can't do that! This hat is-" (Merasmus)

"What makes you you, yes I know. But it wouldn't hurt to take it off just for this conversation, would it?" (unknown woman)

A grumble.

"What was that, Mer?" (unknown woman)

"Nothing, nothing." (Merasmus) A popping noise. "Ugh, I feel naked without my hat."

"Oh, you look better without it." (unknown woman)

"Well I can't say whether the same would apply to you, considering you've never taken it off." (Merasmus) A slapping noise, followed by the unknown woman's laughter.

"Ha, and at this rate you probably never will." (unknown woman) Sounds of Merasmus struggling happen throughout. A polite cough. Sounds of struggling stop. "Oh, uh, sorry Reimu."

"It's alright. Just thought you'd want to get the conversation over quickly, so there is less chance of being caught before preparations are ready." (Reimu)

"Yeah, that's a good point. Sorry, Reimu." (unknown woman)

"As I said, it is alright. Now, you are planning to have it here, correct?" (Reimu)

"Actually, we were going to go to the villa-" a loud whacking noise, followed by pained laughter. "I was just kidding, Reimu." (unknown woman) A couple of short laughs from Merasmus, followed by a pained grunt. "It's not nice to laugh at a woman in pain, Mer."

"Well, if you're planning to have it here, I would like the payment of the gold first." (Reimu)

Sounding pained: "It's not gold, Miss Hakurei, it's Australium. It's worth far more, and is nearly impossible to alchemize, unlike gold. It's also what made Australia the country of muscle-bound, mustache-sporting men and women that it is tod-aaaaand you don't really care, do you?" (Merasmus)

"Well, the fact that it's more expensive caught my attention, but no, not really." (Reimu)

A sigh. "Well, at the very least, listen to this: don't touch it with your bare hands. It has some…strange properties." (Merasmus)

"Like what?" (Reimu)

"Well, it can turn people into gold-colored statues in certain situations. It can also cause people who touch it to become, well, Australian-like. And I don't think you want a luxurious mustache growing on your face, do you?" (Merasmus)

"Aww, why'd you have to tell her about that? I wanted to see it." (Unknown woman) A slight flicking sound, followed by an exclamation of pain from the unknown woman.

"I'm sure you did. Thank you for warning me." (Reimu)

"It's not an issue is it? You'll still accept it?" (Merasmus)

"Yes." (Reimu)

A relieved sigh.

Transcript ends

It was at this point that I believe I must have somehow activated a form of detection device, as the female known as Reimu suddenly said, "Someone's here. Leave now."

This was followed by a scrambling noise, and then the door slammed open, revealing a young girl dressed in a dress with white sleeves, a yellow scarf around her neck, and a red bow in her hair. She held a strange stick, with a bit of jagged white paper, like a smaller version of those seen in the cavern I had woken up in (lookup revealed it to be a Japanese gohei). She brandished it like it was weapon as she looked around. After she found there was no one in sight (as my cloaking was still working), she seemed to relax slightly.

"Nitori? Are you testing your cloaking devices in my shrine again? Because you remember what happened last time, don't you?" she said. Pausing, she slumped her shoulders. Then, with a speed I would not have expected from one so small, she whirled directly to face me, holding the gohei just under my nose. "And I do have ways of detecting your camouflage suit, you know."

As it was using up valuable resources and apparently wasn't achieving the desired effect, I deactivated by cloaking field.

The girl known as Reimu looked surprised for a brief instant before frowning. "You're a new one, aren't you?"

"Define 'new,'" I replied, confused. "What is new to you may be old to me or vice versa."

"I meant this is the first time we've met."

"Then yes."

"What are you then? Related to Medicine at all, or are you the product of some sort of collaboration between Alice and Nitori?"

"I am not related to the concept of healing people, nor do I know of an 'Alice' or 'Nitori.'"

She sighed. "Where are you from then?"
"I cannot tell you that," I replied, in accordance with protocol 51.73n.

"Can't or won't?" she asked.

"Can't."

She smiled slightly. "All right then. Were you listening to our conversation earlier?"

"Some of it, yes."

"That's unfortunate for us both then," she said pulling her gohei back. "I'm afraid I'll have to keep you occupied you until the preparations are complete."

"Occupied?" I asked.

"Yes, occupied," she said, swinging the gohei in an arc. As she swung, an arc of strange glowing orbs materialized, heading directly towards me. Having no idea what the orbs did, I was planning to let them hit me and determine their effect, however, I involuntarily moved in such a way that the orbs sailed past me.

The girl sighed. "It really would have been the best for both of us if you'd just taken that hit." She swung the gohei in a series of arcs, creating a net of the glowing orbs. I once again attempted to remain still and gather data about the orbs, but my body moved on its own, attempting to find a way to dodge the net, trying to dodge between a large gap in the middle of it, however, despite my involuntary efforts, I was hit approximately three centimeters below my right shoulder joint and ten centimeters above my left knee. Where the orbs made contact, there was a strange flare up in signals, causing an overload in certain sectors, interrupting certain processes and causing involuntary spasms in those areas.

"Not bad," she said, nodding her head. "Most people simply freeze in that situation." She began waving her gohei again, combining it with hand motions. Having determined the threat she posed however, I prepared my knife and attempted to reach her. Before I managed to, she sent another wave of the orbs, this time in a close-knit pattern centered around my current position. Unable to move in time, a large quantity of the orbs converged upon me, creating a massive number of signals, causing all processes other than interpreting the signals to cease, freezing me in place.

"Hmm," the girl said, walking over. "Did my danmaku freeze you somehow? That is very strange." Her expression became slightly sad. "I am sorry that this was necessary, but it will be only be for a few more days at most, I believe." She turned around, seemingly preparing something.

At this point, the signals had finished being processed, and I had regained control of my body. As the girl's back was turned, I attempted to swing my knife at her unprotected back, however, my arm involuntarily stopped a few centimeters above her back. Hearing the noise my arm made as it traveled in the air, she whipped around while taking a jump away from me. She stared at the knife and at me, her expression shifting between shock, and anger, finally settling on one of disappointment. "I see. It appears I was a bit too overconfident. And perhaps too trusting as well. You're not from Gensokyou, are you?"

"I have never heard of 'Gensokyou,'" I replied, still trying to find the error that had stopped me from attacking.

"I see," she said. "Then I'm afraid I really cannot let you leave here." She began to float, and summoned the largest number of the orbs (apparently called 'danmaku') than I had ever seen, as well as two large orbs that appeared to be patterned after yin-yang symbols. As I seem to be unable to attack, I have attempted to flee, however, there is nowhere to run.

As I have calculated there is a high chance I will be forced to cease all functions after the impacts, I have decided to attempt to send you this transmission so you may get some information about this land apparently called "Gensokyou," as it may be helpful to your plans, and will explain what has happened to the RED team. I am unsure if the transmission will be able to get to you from the other side of the anomaly, master, but if it does, I hope it will be useful.

Report Ends

P.S. Please excuse my use of the forbidden words "I," and "my," as well as the unnecessary details. The errors seem to have corrupted those protocols as well.

P.P.S. Please excuse the need of a postscript. Extra notes were thought to be necessary to explain the situation.