So I read Blood of Olympus in the span of a couple hours to avoid spoilers xD sorry not sorry...

But! It was completely worth it in the end because good god, it was insanely amazing. I won't spoil anything, but let's just say I now like characters I hated, I'm dealing with only minimal sadness, and I have a new ship to ship that makes me incredibly happy. And it make me want to write about Nico sooo much more.

Well, I hope all of you guys enjoy it too when you get a chance! Anyone else read it yet?

But...back to the story, I suppose. I hope you enjoy this too!

I made Piper explain everything to me.

All of it, the whole thing. Who started the rumor. What people thought, why they thought that way.

She talked, and apologized again for not telling me sooner.

I guess she didn't think it was a big deal.

Well, it probably shouldn't be.

But, needless to say, I asked her for some privacy when she was done explaining. She obliged of course. I'm sure I looked like I needed some time alone. I just hoped she couldn't read my emotions, or that she had the decency not to pry.

I didn't want to deal with her. I didn't want to deal with anyone else.

I didn't even want to deal with this at all. I just wanted to run, to forget about all this shit. I wanted to walk out to the beach and into the Sound. I wanted to sink to the bottom of the ocean, where I could be alone. Completely alone. No Annabeth. No campers with their stupid rumors. No feelings.

Nothing.

Because the worst part?

It all made sense. I could see exactly why people thought that way.

Nico and I...we were close, closer than most people, most demigods even. We'd literally been through hell together, and because of that I was constantly in his company. We were inseparable. Over the past few months...we'd come together, two broken halves making something almost whole. With him, I was better than I'd been in months. I was at ease. I was relaxed. I could be myself, my whole self, when he was around. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't broken anymore. I just...I needed him around, to feel normal, to feel whole.

I needed him.

I'm sure that anyone with eyes could see that. By the way I looked at him, the way I spent all my time with him. They could see that, in the night, I preferred his comfort over the comfort of my own girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. They could see that when he was gone, I was tense, I almost went back to the way I'd been before he'd saved me...

They could see the change. They all saw me go from a hallow shell back to who I'd been before, a strong, laughing hero.

Gods, it made so much sense.

Would it have been easier if I didn't get it? If it made no sense?

Yeah...yeah, it would.

Because if I didn't understand it, I could laugh it off as just another piece of camp gossip. There was always so much of it floating around, there was bound to be a couple far-fetched bits and pieces. If it was crazy...I could just laugh it off. Forget about it, get over it. It wouldn't mean anything. Maybe I'd tell Nico, and have a laugh with him too. Because it was insane...me being in love with him. Insane and laughable. I'm not gay, and neither is Nico...

We were just friends. Really, really, really close friends.

But no. That's...that's a lie. It just had to make perfect sense, and it just had to happen now.

This had anything to do with what happened to Annabeth...and if I found out about this weeks ago...maybe I could've done something.

Maybe I could've talked to her about it...convinced her that I didn't like him that way, that I loved her instead...

Even if it wasn't entirely true.

Even if maybe...maybe I had feelings for him.

Gods, I wasn't sure what I felt, or how I felt.

So I just sat there, staring at him. Trying to figuring things out...and remembering.

I remembered everything good about him.

His smile, small, rare, and lopsided, pulled across bowed lips.

His eyes, deep, dark and complicated. They way they sparkled slightly when he smiled. The mischievous glint they sometimes got.

His laughs. The low chuckle I got whenever I said something stupid. The clear and bright peals I got when he was truly amused, even rarer than anything else.

The sound of his voice, soft and quiet most of the time. The slight inflections that warped certain syllables, the barest hint of an accent. I remembered even better the sound of his voice when it was manipulated into his other language, Italian, beautiful and entrancing and haunting despite the fact that it was so often heavy with sleep.

I remembered all the time we spent together too.

The days spent in the arena, sparring with a truly powerful warrior. The movement of his small body, pulling off complicated maneuvers quickly and effortlessly. The first time he disarmed me, and the grins that split across both of our faces when he pinned me down, his black blade to my throat.

Afternoons spent on the canoe lake, just joking around while eating food pilfered from the dining pavilion and drinking soda smuggled by the Stoll brothers.

Our nights spent staying up past lights out, just trying to be normal teenagers. How much fun it was. How it made me feel normal.

The times he came to my cabin after a nightmare. He would comfort me, let me hug him and held my hand even though he hated being touched. I relished in those private touches, all the I needed proof that he cared about me. That I meant something to him.

The rare morning when I would wake up, only to realize that he'd accidentally fallen asleep in my cabin. His facd in sunlight, calm and placid. Free of stress and the furrowed brow, the slight frown, that had for so long seemed permanently affixed there. The years of stress washing away, until all that was left was an innocent face...

Oh Gods.

Does all this...does it mean I loved him? What does it even mean to love someone?

When I closed my eyes, I could see his face clearly, as clearly as I'd been able to see Annabeth's. I could see everything good in him, every beautiful part of him.

But all of that...all of that wouldn't matter if I didn't need him so much.

All these memories would be harmless if it weren't for that fact. They could just be memories, friendly ones. I could still love his laugh and his smile without it being weird.

But no. I needed him. I needed him in my life to feel whole, to feel normal.

I felt the same way about him as I'd felt about Annabeth.

I'd loved her smile, her quirks, her personality. Everything about her.

And, for the longest time, I felt like I needed her too.

So... what does this mean?

Was Piper, was everyone else, right?

Did...did I love him?

Until next time my friends :) I hope you enjoyed, though I imagine you already know the answer to that last little question xD