Thank you all for the name suggestions! Now to decide which ...?
and now ... fluffity, fluff, fluff
Patrick slowly improved over the next few days and as a result was much less irritable. He also began to get more visitors as Teresa let it be known he was well enough to receive them.
Teresa watched as a number of FBI agents dropped in – his team of course came but there were a surprisingly large number of others as well. Jane was uncomfortable with the attention, never knowing quite how to handle people showing him kindness or appreciation. In the past he would have insulted everyone, or played one of his tricks, his self-defense mechanism. This time he seemed to realize that neither were appropriate and so was on his best behavior.
The result was she got to see a gentler, rather shy man, who was embarrassed by overtures of friendship and respect.
She was surprised and touched, but more than that she came to realize how thick were the walls he'd built around himself. She knew they were as a result of fear and self-hatred and she was determined to begin to help him tear them down. He deserved to experience not only love, but friendship and the respect of his colleagues.
And others needed to see the real Jane. She was one of the few whom he had allowed to see the caring and compassionate man who lived beneath that brash and arrogant exterior. She knew what a wonderful person he really was – even when he did his damndest to prove otherwise – and she wanted others to know.
Rigsby and Grace stayed for a couple of days after they were sure Jane was going to be okay. Grace came in to see him as soon as he was well enough and immediately enveloped him in a gentle hug.
"Hey you", she said softly, "You did good."
He patted her back, still uncomfortable with overt affection from anyone but Teresa. "Yes, well -", he shrugged, not sure how to respond. "Thanks by the way – for being here for Teresa."
"There isn't anywhere else we'd be", Grace said, stepping back and wiping her eyes. She regarded him earnestly. "I knew the two of you would be good together. You've made her really happy." There was a pause and then she grinned. "You're going to rip those sheets if you keep twisting them like that Jane."
Patrick immediately dropped the sheet he'd been playing with, and looked up at her, a sheepish look on his face. "I - " he grimaced. "She makes me happy too."
"I know", Grace answered gently. "And you deserve happiness. Oh hey", she said, knowing it was time to change the subject, "I brought you some fresh blueberry muffins!"
"You, Grace Van Pelt, are a brilliant woman!" He eagerly took the preferred muffin and bit into it, a look of ecstasy on his face.
Grace watched him seriously, but inside she was smiling.
Unfortunately the Rigsby's had to leave the next day but said they'd come back when the baby arrived. There were lots of hugs – although Jane scowled at Wayne when he tried to approach him – and promised to stay in touch. After they were gone Jane dozed, his lips turned up in a smile.
He also received visits from the people in his bereavement group, except Andrea of course. It was interesting to see how much more comfortable he was with them than with the FBI folks. He still reacted nervously when people told him he was a hero for what he'd done.
"What did they expect me to do", he griped? "You're my – well, my love – and you're carrying my child. Of course I'd protect you."
She wondered if he had any idea of how wonderful he really was? Jane was not naturally a man who knew how to deal with violence. He was not a fighter. But the fact that he took it for granted that he would protect her and their baby, regardless of the danger he faced, showed the kind of person he truly was.
She leaned forward and gave him a deep and passionate kiss. Knowing it couldn't go anywhere – not in the hospital and not when he was still ill – she pulled back. She wanted to laugh at his dazed look.
"What was that for?"
"I just wanted to kiss you."
"Okay." He regarded her closely for a moment and then his mischievous grin appeared. "You can do it again."
"I don't know if you can handle it", she told him, only half kidding. "You still look pale."
"It'll bring color to my cheeks", he suggested with a smirk. When she didn't budge he sighed. "I guess not, although I wouldn't mind trying. Damn. I really hate getting shot."
He'd been in the hospital just over a week when the doctor deemed him well enough to go home. "You're going to have to take it easy, or you're going to end up back inside", he told Patrick seriously. "But I think you'll be much happier at home – and I know the nurses will be happier", he grinned.
Patrick smiled. "I have no idea why, but I definitely want to go home and I'll be good."
"No you won't", Teresa muttered. At the doctor's surprised look she grimaced. "He's a very bad patient, but I'll keep him under control."
The doctor nodded, looking amused. "I'm sure you will. I'll give the nurse final instructions and she'll explain everything to you. And next time, I wouldn't suggest stepping in front of a bullet."
"I'll try and remember that", Jane agreed. He then stuck his hand out, looking self-conscious. "Thank you."
"Ready to go?" Teresa looked at him as he sat on the side of his bed. He was dressed although he was still missing his shoes. He looked uncomfortable although he had a grin on his face.
"So ready" he agreed. "Uh – could you help me with my shoes?", he said, wigging his feet. It was too difficult for him to bend over yet and he was carefully cradling his chest with his arm.
"Sure." She looked around until she found his usual brown shoes. She picked them up and brought them over. "Uh Jane – don't you think it's about time to get new shoes?"
"Why? They're perfectly good. I had them resoled not long ago."
"Well, it's not just the soles", she told him with a look. "It's – everything." She grabbed a chair and sat down and then proceeded to put on his shoes.
He didn't respond as he watched her. He knew it was silly, knew he should just agree – or tell her his reason – but he couldn't. He'd given up his ring, he was focused on his life with Teresa – but the shoes – they were his last link to Angela and he couldn't deal with letting them go, at least not yet.
"Hey", she stood up and leaned into him. "If you want to keep them that's okay", she told him, seeming to realize that there was something here he wasn't saying. "I won't bug you about them."
He nodded and leaned into her for a moment. "Thank you", he murmured quietly." After a moment he sat up. "Let's go", he said finally. "I want to get out of here."
"Hey – how're you doing?" Cho was standing in the doorway, ready to lend a hand.
"Hi Cho", Patrick smiled and gave a wave. "You here to help Teresa take me home."
"Yes. Figured you were too much for her to handle alone."
They arrived home a short while later and Cho helped Jane into the bedroom. "You okay?"
"Mmm hmm", he murmured, carefully lying down on the bed. He let out a huge sigh and closed his eyes. "That's good."
Cho continued to watch him for the next few minutes, until he could see that Jane had fallen asleep. He turned to head back to the other room and saw Teresa standing in the doorway looking tired but obviously relieved to have him back. She glanced up at Cho and smiled and then motioned for him to follow her.
"Thanks Cho. Would you like a cup of coffee?"
"Sure." He sat at the kitchen table and watched as Teresa fixed the coffee. "How are you doing?"
"Me? I'm fine. Happy to have him back home. It's been – tough."
"I know. I'm glad he's doing better. We were all worried, about both of you."
"I'm fine" she said, ignoring Cho's skeptical look. "At least I'm fine now that he's getting better."
"If you need anything, let me know. I'd hate for Jane to have gotten through this just to have you kill him because he's driving you crazy."
She laughed at that. "I've managed to keep from going crazy all these years so I think I'll be okay and I know how to control him."
"Alright – but I'd better go now, before you start telling me how you control him – something I don't think I want to know."
She gave Cho a hug, thanking him for all his help, and watched as he left. With a sigh she turned and headed back towards the bedroom.
She crawled up on the bed and carefully snuggled up against the warm, still body of the man she loved. Gently putting her hand on his stomach, below the bandages, she was soon asleep along with him.
"I'm fine Teresa. You can go to work."
"But what if you need something", she frowned. She'd taken a few days off when he'd first come home, but he was now insisting he was doing well enough for her to head back in.
"Then I'll get up and get it. I'm not completely useless you know."
"I never said you were useless, but you are still recuperating. I worry about you."
"And I appreciate it but I'm fine! I have a phone and if something comes up I'll give you a call. Look, I'm not going to do anything foolish. I'm just going to read and maybe watch some TV. There are left-overs in the refrigerator, I'm perfectly capable of making myself a cup of tea and I'll be fine!"
"Okay, okay, I get the point. Geesh, I get the feeling you don't want me here."
He groaned. "Teresa, I love having you here but you are the one going crazy with boredom. I don't need a babysitter. I'll be okay and you need to get out and go to work." He finally took her by the shoulders and pulled her forward. Bending slightly he gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll miss you but I really will be alright and I promise I'll call if I need anything."
"Alright, I'm going. But you promise you'll -"
" – call? Yes, I will. Oh, by the way, can you pick up some of those muffins Grace brought me on your way home?"
When she frowned he defended himself by telling her that the doctor told him he had to gain weight.
"Yes, but that's by eating healthy food."
"Muffins have blueberries and they're high in antioxidants."
She finally gave in, both on going to work and on buying him muffins. She sat in her car for a few minutes before starting the engine, surprised at how nervous she was about leaving Patrick alone. It's not that she thought he'd do anything foolish, but rather she was feeling rather paranoid that something else could happen to him. Shaking her head she finally started the car and headed in to work.
Jane puttered around the house all morning since he didn't have anything he really wanted to read and there was nothing on TV that interested him. He fixed himself a snack but he still didn't have much of an appetite so only picked at his food. He was bored but wasn't well enough to be doing anything interesting. He'd rarely been sick in his life and didn't do convalescing well at all.
He wandered around the house a few more times, opening random cupboards and drawers, not looking for anything in particular but trying to pass the time. It was when he'd opened the door to the spare bedroom, for the second time, that he finally figured out something he could do.
Because his fear of having a child, Lisbon still walked lightly around the whole subject. He felt terrible about that and wanted to be able to make it up to her somehow. He thought back to her reaction when he'd just written out some baby names and knew it was time to do something more.
They had nothing for the baby, who was going to be with them shortly, and figured he had to do something about that. He was pretty sure that the folks at work would hold a baby shower, but that would still leave most things they still had to get. He leaned up against the door of the spare bedroom – a room basically used for storage at this point – and decided it was time to get it ready.
With that in mind he went and grabbed Teresa's laptop and opened it up. He still didn't like computers very much, but since he couldn't exactly go out shopping – well, he could, but Teresa would kill him – he might as well look things up on line.
By the time Teresa got home that day he'd managed to plan out the entire nursery. He avoided anything too cutesy and tried to keep the colors soft but neutral since they didn't know whether it was a boy or girl. He'd also put in a quick call to Grace, swearing her to secrecy, but getting some good and practical advice from her.
He'd ordered just about everything on-line that a baby could possibly need. The problem he was faced with was how to paint, put up curtains and generally decorate the room? He wasn't particularly skilled in any of those things and knew he'd be in serious trouble if he tried.
Well, that's what friends were for. With a grin he picked up the phone. "Hey Cho, it's me."
Over the next couple of weeks items began to arrive at the house. He didn't have trouble hiding the small stuff, it was the bigger items that were a problem. In the end he went to the next-door neighbors and put on his most charming smile. He hadn't really spoken to them before, but by the end of his visit he figured he had made some new friends – and a place to store all the baby furniture.
With Cho's help, and promise of silence, he managed to get a number of FBI agents, plus some of the people from the bereavement group, to agree to help get the room fixed up. He still couldn't do anything too physical, so he'd do the project management and make sure there was enough food and drinks to feed the small army that was coming to help.
In the end they had to get Vega involved in order to keep Teresa away long enough to get the work done. She agreed to help – and not only agreed – but came through in a big way. She planned an all-day baby shower/spa day for Teresa and some of the women agents at work.
"You need to pamper yourself", Jane said when she told him about the invitation. "You're not going to have time once the baby comes. Look, if you're still worried about me I'll invite Cho over to spend the day. We can watch movies and drink – yes, I know – he can drink beer, I'll have soda! Come on Lisbon – you need this."
She'd finally agreed, much to his relief, and the following Saturday she got all her things together and waited for Agent Lopez to pick her up. "I hate leaving you here all day", she told him. "I was hoping we could spend some time together."
"That would have been nice", he gave her a quick peck on the nose, "but this way you'll be all relaxed and mellow and we can spend tomorrow together."
"You're not going to be bored?"
"Me bored? No. And anyway I invited Cho and one of the guys from the support group over to watch the game."
She stared at him as if he'd suddenly grown horns. She'd never heard Patrick talk about inviting friends over and certainly never that he wanted to sit and watch sports. "You're sure someone hasn't switched you with another Patrick Jane?" she asked.
"Of course not Teresa", he shook his head. "But I want you to have a good time and this way you'll know I'm neither bored nor getting into trouble."
"Good point", she nodded. A few minutes later she was gone. Jane checked his watch – they had seven hours to get everything done.
A few minutes later his workers started to arrive. He sent half of them to his neighbors to begin putting furniture together while the other half began to paint.
By noon the room was painted and most of the furniture was together. Everyone stopped to grab pizza and a drink but they were soon back to work. Everyone wanted to finish before Teresa got home. By 2:00 the curtains had been hung, and pictures and shelved were being hung on the walls.
By 3:00 the last minute decorating was being done. Patrick had borrowed someone's Ipad and was Facetiming with Grace. He walked her through the room and she gave him ideas on where things should go. The others didn't allow him to actually do anything other than give instructions.
By 3:45 everything was finished. The workers scrambled to remove any traces of their visit and soon left. He'd told them they could stay, but Abbott told him everyone had agreed that it was better for it just to be him there when Teresa returned.
"You can tell us how she reacted later." Abbott walked by and squeezed his shoulder. "This was a nice thing you did."
"I didn't really do any of it", he answered, looking at the people who were departing, one by one. "Thanks everyone", he told them with a crooked smile. "I appreciate this."
"You owe us now", Abbott told him with a smirk. "I'm going to make sure and exact payment when you return."
"I already owed you", Jane said quietly, "and I'm more than happy to pay."
He watched in the doorway as everyone departed and then turned around and made his way to the couch. He was exhausted and in some pain even though he hadn't really done anything strenuous. Still, he'd been on his feet most of the day and he knew he'd overdone it. But it was worth it.
At least he hoped it was. He was a bit nervous, hoping that Teresa would like the room and the fact that he'd done it without her input. He sighed and rested his head back. Oh well, it was done now. He might as well just rest until she got home.
It was almost 4:30 by the time Teresa returned. She was exhausted but pleasantly relaxed. It had been a fun day and the first time she'd had a chance to really get to know some of her women co-workers.
They'd spent part of the day at the spa, which had included a pregnancy massage, a manicure, pedicure and facial and a gourmet lunch outside in a beautiful garden setting. They had gone from there to Stephanie Curtis' house, where they'd played some silly party games and had cake. At the end they'd brought out a stack of gifts and she'd had a fun time opening them.
As she lifted out little onesies and baby outfits everything suddenly – for the first time – became real. In just a few short weeks she was going to be using these items on a real live baby.
It was thrilling and frightening and completely overwhelming. It hit her that they were terribly underprepared. God, they hadn't even purchased a crib or anything. Some of the agents had chipped in together and had purchased her – them – a highchair. There was also another big item – this one from her team. When she opened the huge box she discovered that they'd given them a stroller.
Other than those two big items they didn't have any furniture or supplies for the baby. She was going to have to call Grace and get her to give her some tips on what sorts of things she should buy. She hated that she was going to have to do it alone, but she really couldn't expect Patrick to help her. For one thing he wasn't well enough and on the other she was pretty sure it was still too much to ask of him to handle emotionally.
Thanking everyone with hugs and smiles she was soon on her way home. She'd given Patrick a quick call just after lunch and he told her he was fine but she was anxious to get home and make sure. She still didn't quite believe he was okay.
She knew she'd probably live with the fear of losing him for a long time. It struck her again how hard it must be for Patrick. She hadn't lost him and she was terrified – how much more difficult must it be for him, a man who had lost everything once.
No wonder the thought of a child terrified him. She sighed and turned the corner onto their street. She should stop thinking about these things. She was too tired and she just needed to see and hold him.
She let herself into the house quietly. The presents were safely stowed in the trunk of her car and she decided to leave them there until Patrick was sleeping. He didn't need to see all that gear and she could sneak it into the guest room later today.
She smiled when she saw him lying on the couch, sound asleep. She made her way over and carefully sat on the edge beside him. "Hey sleepyhead", she whispered, gently pushing back his hair.
"Hmm?" He opened his eyes and smiled. "Hey. You're back."
"I am", she nodded. "How are you doing?"
"Me?" He struggled to sit up. "I'm fine. Did you just get home?"
"Mmm hmm", she told him. "Just walked in the door."
"How was your day?"
"Wonderful", she smiled. "I could definitely get used to going to a spa regularly. I even got a massage just for pregnant women."
"Good!" he leaned forward and kissed her. "I'm glad you had a good time. Uh – where's the loot?"
"The loot?"
"It was a baby shower, wasn't it?"
"Yes." She paused. "Uh – it's in the trunk. I can get it later."
"Why don't we get it now. I can help."
"That's okay", she told him quickly. "I can handle it. You shouldn't -"
"Teresa – I'm totally up to bringing in a few bags of baby clothes."
"Nope." She smiled and stood. "You stay here. It won't take me a moment. Uh – there's a highchair and stroller. I may wait until tomorrow to bring those in."
"Okay", he nodded. He'd known about the chair and stroller as people had asked him about some larger ticket items he hadn't yet purchased. With those things he was pretty sure they had just about everything they needed.
"I'll just put this stuff in the spare room", she panted as she walked in.
"No – wait." He pushed himself up, hating how weak he still felt. "Why don't I help you with this?" He took one of the bags out of her arms. "Okay, let's go."
She gave him a strange look, sensing that something was going on. With a tiny frown she headed towards the spare bedroom, thinking that that was going to have to be the baby's room and she'd better get a move on getting it ready. She pushed open the door and slowly dropped the bag of baby clothes.
She gasped. "What the - ?" Her eyes scanned the room, trying to take in everything around her. "What is this?" she asked faintly.
"A present", he told her, somewhat anxiously. "I hope you like it?"
She continued to gaze at the transformed room. "But how in the world did you accomplish this?" She suddenly whipped around, staring at him with reproachful eyes. "You didn't do this on your own did you?"
"No", he told her. "All I did was design it. They wouldn't let me do anything other than order pizza or answer questions about which way you'd like certain things."
"Who is 'they'?" she asked, still sounding slightly strange. "And when did this happen?"
"Uh – the team, except for Vega, although she was in on the whole thing, some of the guys from work and a few from my support group – and they did it today, while you were out."
She continued to look around the room and he grew more and more nervous. Was she angry? Did she hate it? What was wrong?"
Before he'd even had a chance to finish that last thought, she was in front of him. Her eyes tracked his face for a brief few seconds, and then she was holding his head in her hands and she kissed him.
It took a while for both of them to come up for air, but when they did it took a moment for either of them to speak.
"Thank you", she breathed. "This is – amazing and gorgeous and God, I love you so much!"
"I love you too. Do you really like it?" He looked around at the room with its neutral taupe's and creams. He then gazed at the oval crib, the change table and dresser that matched. It was an elegant room, but not one that was meant as a showpiece, but rather to be lived in. "I got you a rocking chair. Try it out."
She sat in it and sighed. "It's amazing. You might not get me out of here. Thank you", she said again. She started checking things out more carefully, now that she had recovered from the shock. She couldn't believe how well he'd gauged her style. It was perfect.
"It'll work for either a boy or girl", she told him softly. "It's so beautiful and peaceful and calm. I love it."
"I know", he smiled and walked towards the chair. He took the hand she reached out to him and pulled her up, into his arms.
"Now all we have to do is agree on a couple of names and we're all set", he told her as he stroked her belly.
"I still say no to Tiberius."
"Mmm", he murmured as they moved slowly, together, towards their bedroom. "How about Claudius?"