Disclaimer: I do not own Beetlejuice or related characters, he belongs to Tim Burton. I do not own Beetlegeuse. I don't own Betelgeuse? I don't own any of the weird spellings for his name.
Betelgeuse?
Written By: Melanie Ray
Chapter Sixteen: Unexpected Communication
The real world...
KNOCK KNOCK
"Hello friend," Donny smiled as he saw Kathleen at his door. "I was wondering when you would come over. I have some yummy cookies all set out right now."
"Later," Kathleen groaned. She watched some of her new friends pass by. She waved to them and spoke to Donny as she grabbed her back. "Donny, come over to my place for a bit."
"I would like to but I'm in a bit of a predicament with my cleaning."
"Donny. My place. Now," she commanded through gritted teeth.
"Oh." Donny looked sad. "Why are you being so hostile?"
"Donny, get to the nursery now!"
"Oh, Kathleen!" One of the women from outside came over and touched her belly. "You never get so riled up. Are you in labor? Do you need Monty to drive you to the hospital?" She snapped at her husband. "Honey, get the car ready."
"Oh." Donny hit his head. How could he not see that? "It's okay, we'll go to the nursery."
"It's not close enough," Kathleen tried to lie through the pain. She couldn't go to the hospital, there was no telling what would happen. "Don't worry. I've already called a ride too. I'll be fine."
"Oh, Kathleen's having her baby now?" Another neighbor came out to see her. "Should we head to the hospital? Do you need any help?"
"Oh Katie is having the baby?" Margarette yelled as she came running down the street. "Who is taking her to the hospital?"
In a matter of moments, people were flocking all over Kathleen while she looked angrily at Donny. Why couldn't he move faster? Now she had a rag-tag team of uppity women she had to call 'friends' fawning all over her and her well being.
Donny just smiled like an ass again. "It's okay, all your friends are here to support you. I'm here to support you too because I-"
"You love me, I got it!" Kathleen yelled angrily, trying to hide her pain. If they knew how close together everything was, they would surely make her go to a hospital. "Well show me how much you love me and get to my house now!"
Donny whimpered. Kathleen had never been so cold before. She had her moments during her pregnancy, but she practically had reflections of fire in her eyes. BG's powers were multiplying her emotional need for help. "I'm coming," he said weakly.
The ladies all watched in concern as Donny and Kathleen both headed to her house. They began to gossip.
"Wow, Donny isn't the father, is he?"
"No, no, I hear he's the uncle."
"Then who's the father?"
"Probably just a schmuck."
"Yes, her parents probably bailed her out of her desperate situation with money. It's what I've always assumed."
"I would do the same for my kids."
"What, give them money?"
"No, get them as far away from me as possible. Imagine the reputation they'd have to deal with. And oh. Another fatherless child in the neighborhood."
"Well maybe it'll be cute for a bit though."
The ladies continued to yammer on as Donny and Kathleen reached her home and went inside.
The nursery...
"Okay, lie down if you want." Donny smiled at Kathleen.
"Quit smiling!" Kathleen yelled at him. "Smile, smile, smile. I love you, I like you, here's a gift, and smiling more. Knock it off, now."
Donny looked surprised again. "O-okay? There is no need to-"
"There is need, you're driving me crazy! With your constant 'I love you's' and 'everything will be alright' crap over and over!"
"It's okay?" Donny smiled weakly.
"Quit it!"
"Okay!" Donny slightly jumped in the air as he saw the fury in Kathleen. She used to be such a sweet girl.
Kathleen grabbed her pelvis in pain. It was horrendous. She had never been through so much pain before. "Why do women do this willingly? Make it stop, Donny. Please."
Donny covered his ears as he heard her scream. It was supernaturally way too loud. The cracks that were appearing in the nursery window were proof of that. "You must calm down. You'll break the windows. Remember your Lamaze." He tried to calm her with breathing. "Hee hee hoo."
Kathleen tried to breathe right a couple of times then gave up again. Breathing did nothing from the pain that felt like she was being ripped in half. She pulled herself to the floor. "I'm done with this, just get it out."
Donny got on the floor and looked. "I can't, you aren't ready yet."
"Well make me ready." Her voice was angry, but filled with strained pain too. Her eyes were watering. Why couldn't Donny help her out with anything already. "Please, stop being so slow. Do something."
"I-I don't have that power," Donny said meakly. "I'm sorry."
"Why not just try?" Kathleen felt her body trembling from the pain. "It hurts."
"I can't interfere," Donny assured her. "I never could for anyone, I'm afraid. It's the birthing process, we are not allowed to interfere in the process of new life." He just gave a slight smile. "You are getting closer though."
Kathleen cried as she started to move even more. The back and forth motion on her knees was the only thing that helped the pain even slightly. Beetlejuice would have been able to do something. She rocked harder back and forth before turning around on her back. "Please help? Please?"
Donny looked again. It wasn't something he liked to do. This process was for a doctor, not an Uncle. "You are still not ready."
"I need to be, this hurts." Kathleen insisted as she rubbed her head against the floor. Anything. Couldn't someone do something? "I can't take it much longer. Please. Oh, oh. Beetlejuice." She couldn't help it. Right now she was in so much pain, she could barely think. And the only thing she could think of, was the only one who could have possibly made her feel better. Complete.
"It's okay, I know it hurts," Donny tried to comfort her, "but you can't say his name. Remember that. I am here though."
"I don't want you." Kathleen rocked her body to the left, straightening her legs as much as she could. Whatever movement even slightly helped the pain, she would take. "I want my parents here. I want my friend here. I really, I really really want him here. I want B.J. B.J!"
Babe?
Kathleen gasped. "Beetlejuice?!"
"No, no," Donny warned her as he saw the WDP suddenly show up. "Kathleen, the WDP are all around you. Do not do it, he could not come anyway."
Beetlejuice? Kathleen thought to herself.
Babe? What's the matter? I can hear you screaming from here.
I'm having the baby.
Already? Whoah, time flies when you're dead. Well, kind of. I hate stupid lines. Are you okay?
No, it hurts.
Duh, you're giving birth.
B.J!
What? Move it along already! I know we have eternity but this is ridiculous!
Beej!
Breathe. Don't worry, Lyd, it's almost over I bet. How in the world am I hearing you though? You're not on a dumb Ouija board are you?
"I'm giving birth, I'm not on some damn ouija board!" Kathleen yelled.
Donny and five WDP's looked at her funny. Was she delusional?
Whoah. Easy on the mouth, babe. Geez, you are in pain. It's alright, just breathe in and out.
It hurts so much.
I know, but I died twice. Trust me, you're in a better spot than I am.
"I can't do this, it hurts!"
Just breathe, you'll be okay. Would I steer ya wrong?
Kathleen finally started to listen. "Hee hee hoo. Hee hee hoo." She breathed in and out.
"There you go." Donny patted her leg. "You're getting it now."
It still really hurts
You'll be okay. Humans do that thing every day. Hey, I'm finally getting closer.
Beej! I can't call you anymore.
Couldn't if you wanted to, Lyd. At least not right now. Maybe not for awhile.
B.J...
Bugging the heck out of me how we're connecting though. No one else seems to hear you. They keep giving me weird looks.
B.J!
Breathe again, don't quit. If you're not at a board then how in the heck-
B.J., I'm having your baby.
. . . huh?
"It's yours," Kathleen managed to whine through her breathing. Donny and the WDP looked at her strangely but she was far from caring. "Beej, I can't explain right now, but it's yours."
But I'm dead. You know, and most of the time I've been dead. And, come on, Lyd, you're eighteen. You know how the bird and bees things work. Are you sure you aren't delusional from the pain or something?
"I tried to explain it before you DieAAAggghed!"
Oh. Oh yeah, I remember now. You said I was...mine?!
Kathleen screamed and tried to aim her feet the other way, but the WDP and Donny were starting to hold her in one place now. "Stop it, I need to move. I need to move. Let go of me, I need to move!"
Okay, breathe. What are you looking at? Stop looking at me. Geese, dead newbies. You know I hate them. So, mine? How is that even possible, Lyd?
"Beej. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Kathleen whined through the pain. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I'm sure he'd understand." Donny tried to be supportive.
Um . . . yeah, sure. You bet.
"Yes, it's yours." Kathleen slammed her fist on the floor. She could tell from his tone, he didn't believe her. "It's true. I know you don't believe, but it's true."
"Oh, you're getting very close now." Donny sat on the floor. "You must stop wiggling now and stay still. Push when I tell you, okay?"
Beej.
There was no answer.
Beej?
I'm here. Keep breathing.
B.J. Do you? Understand?
I don't know. Just . . . are you sure?
"Yes!" Kathleen yelled as she started to push. "Beej, you've gotta come back," Kathleen whimpered. "Please?"
I . . . the connection to this place could only be . . .
His voice stopped being heard. Was he starting to believe?
Boy or girl?
"Boy." Kathleen whined as she started to push again. "I'm sorry."
I'll stop it, I promise!
Kathleen pushed again, the surprise of B.J.'s voice change dulled the pain slightly. It didn't even sound like him, nor did it sound like a question. It was clearly a demand. He was beginning to believe her. I'm so sorry.
There was no answer back.
"Beej?" Kathleen yelled as she had to push again.
They just jacked with thewrongghost. I am running as fast as I can, I won't let it happen, I won't!
Kathleen heard the growl in his voice. He was taking it even worse than she thought. The baby was coming. The past couldn't be changed.
Don't worry, I won't let this happen. I'll do whatever it takes. Get out of the way, dead people, I've got to get through now!
"You're getting closer!" Donny said brightly. "He's almost here!"
"Sorry," Kathleen yelled as she pushed again. "I thought I'd have time to explain. You can't change the past, B.J."
Vernie emerged from the WDP's. "She is delusional. Should we give her something?"
"No, no. Whatever is happening, it seems to be calming her," Donny disagreed. "Besides, she's almost there."
"Beej...it's so painful but..." Kathleen pushed again.
Next in line please!
Well hang on, I'm in the middle of something.
"I'm sure he's almost here." Donny said a bit more skeptically. He looked around the room. So far, there was no wild magic of any kind. Why was there no magic yet? He felt a strange shiver crawl across his back. Something wasn't right.
"Something's wrong isn't it?" Vernie asked him. "Something should have been happening by now."
"I'm sure everything is fine." Donny tried to continue to smile. "Just taking a bit longer."
Kathleen tried to concentrate but voices of more dead people were being heard over Beetlejuice's. They were all mixed up, too many to identify.
Next. I said hang on. I don't wanna go yet. Is this line ever gonna end? Am I getting closer? What happens after this? Am I really dead? I can't be dead. Next.
To Beetlejuice...
"Name sir," The ghoul in front of him demanded.
Beetlejuice moved through as fast as he could. He knew he wouldn't get processed by the decider, but he was going to do something. Lydia was delirious, or really well lied to, one or the other. But birth wasn't what let someone communicate with where he was. There was only one thing that could possible let them communicate. It took a desperate need to see someone there along with . . . oncoming death.
Lydia was dying. He wasn't going to argue, ask for explanations or anything else once he put two and two together. He refused to let her life end without a fight! She wasn't ready for the neitherworld to be hers yet. She had family and friends. She had a new baby to take care of. "Emergency! Tell me about Lydia Deetz!"
"Lydia Deetz. Let's see..." The provider ran through the list. "Oh yes. She will be in a party of two. Arriving somewhere around the neighborhood of . . . five minutes?