Wow...I feel the need to preface this with an apology :l

This chapter should have been done WAY sooner, but the second I decided to start writing it, my laptop decided to stop working properly, so spent a whole week being repaired. Then I was stuck with a bunch of English projects, then I had midterms, and then some awful writer's block...

So yeah, sorry! But the next chapter will, for sure, be coming sooner. I hope you enjoy!

When I got to my room, I had to force myself not to collapse onto my bed. I wanted nothing more than that, to just give up and bury my face in my pillow. I wanted to forget...but no. No more forgetting, no more running.

I forced myself to dress in clean clothes. A new pair of jeans, a new hoodie. I caught a look at myself in the mirror and frowned, forehead creasing. My skin was pale and washed out. My hair was too long and messy, and not even in the normal way. My eyes were sad and tired, ringed with dark circles.

I looked like I'd just come out of Tartarus. Again.

Sighing and shaking my head, I grabbed my coat and the small bag of drachmas I'd kept for some reason. I'm glad I didn't toss them now, considering I might need them again.

I hid my still shaking hands in my pockets as I told my mom I would be going to camp for the night, and would probably just sleep in my cabin. And for once, she actually looked happy. The worry melted off her face and she smiled. To her, It must have looked like I was going to be okay, that I was finally getting over whatever had me down. I was finally going back to camp, I wasn't going to be a shut in anymore. So I faked a smile to make her happy, and pretended to be really excited about the new year. I didn't tell her that the whole camp was probably furious with me. I didn't tell her what I planned to do tonight. I didn't tell her what I'd done to Nico.

There was no use upsetting her more than I already had. I didn't need her disappointed in me for everything I'd done.

I walked out the door expecting to hail a cab, only to find Jason standing there, waiting for me. I guess he'd had Argus drive the camp van to pick me up. I got in with him, and occupied myself with drumming my fingertips on my leg. I didn't look Jason in the eyes, I just couldn't. I didn't want to talk about Nico anymore, I didn't need to hear from him how much I'd screwed up.

So I sat there, in silence, and thought.

For the most part, I thought about everything that could go wrong. I couldn't bring myself to think about anything good, to indulge myself with fantasy.

I realized that Nico might hate me for everything I'd done to him. Jason already hated me enough, I'm sure Nico would too. Jason was barely my friend, but Nico...he was so much more than that.

I'd left him, after all we'd been through together. I was supposed to be his friend, but I just left without a goodbye, without a care, without a thought for him and his well being. It was pathetic, what I'd done to him. He'd been abandoned enough in his life, mistreated enough by just about everyone. I was supposed to be different. I was supposed to care.

Bianca had left him, back when he was just a little kid. She'd abandoned him, seemingly just caring about herself and what she wanted. If she'd never left him, never joined the Hunters, she would still be alive, and Nico...he would be different. He would be happy and healthy and bright, a normal fifteen year old.

And I knew better than anyone how much that had hurt him. Losing her had destroyed him. He was never the same after it, and I doubted he would ever be completely alright.

Maybe he'd recently come to terms with her death and the fact that she could never come back to life. She'd been reborn, and was living a new life as someone else entirely. Hazel had helped with that. But it was the isolation that followed it that had really screwed him up. After she died, he felt completely and totally alone. He didn't have a mother or a sister or any close friends, and he didn't know who his father was either. Eventually finding out that he was a son of Hades only exacerbated the feeling of loneliness.

All that time alone in the Labyrinth, with only the cruel, manipulative Minos as a "friend" had changed him. It made him feel like a was alone, like he was a freak. Worse, it made him feel like that was the only option. His time down there convinced him that the living world had no place for him, that no living, sane human being could ever care about him. He was so wrong.

When he told me about how much losing Bianca had hurt him during one of our nights spent talking, I'd made this promise to myself that I would never hurt him like that again, that I would never abandon him like she had.

So I hated myself so much now, knowing that I'd willingly hurt him in the same way she had. I could have caused him the same sorrow, the same lonely feeling. From what Jason said, it sounded like he'd gone back to being the old Nico, reserved and closed-off. This time, I was the one to run away.

I was stupid, so stupid. I'd done just that. Blinded by fear and a selfish want for things to stay the same, not wanting to be an outcast again. I ran, and never planned on coming back.

Why hadn't I thought about the consequences? Why did I only think of myself?

I didn't even deserve him at this point, not in my mind. He was a good person, underneath all the dark clothing and scowls and hostility. Once he had his guard down, he was amazing. Compassionate, sincere, honest, nonjudgmental.

All I could do was beg for his forgiveness. Hope and pray to every god out there, of every pantheon, that he would forgive me and still care about me when I revealed my feelings.

It still might not be enough though. My prayers might not be strong enough, my guilt and sorrow not deep enough for him to realize and understand how truly sorry I was.

He might not even want to talk to me. If he shows up tonight, he might just run away again. It wouldn't be a surprise, considering how I'd hurt him and how he's reacted in the past.

Or maybe he would want to talk to me, maybe he would put up with me.

But I still might end up miserable. I might have to run back home. It was a distinct possibility that tonight might end in disaster, and a complete and total one at that. If he hated me, if he couldn't accept the fact that I really liked him...I wouldn't be able to talk to him again. I doubt I would be able to talk to anyone at camp again, surely not for a long time. It would just be too humiliating, even if for some reason they could still care about me.

I imagined the whole first meeting countless times, I'd had enough nightmares about it. We would just be sitting in his cabin after I asked to talk to him in private. He would be scowling, black eyes glowing like hot coals, and I would basically be on the verge of humiliating tears because dear gods I hated myself so much. He would be so angry and defensive and hurt and he would start yelling at me just like Jason had. The dark shadows of his cabin would be gathering around him, swirling at his feet just like they always did when he was angry or upset.

He would hate me...and when he stopped yelling, breathing ragged and shadows flickering around him, I would just blurt it out, all my secrets, everything I'd hidden and tried to repress for the past four months.

And, after a pause, he would start yelling again, absolutely livid this time. He would call me disgusting, unnatural, a freak. And I would just sit there, frozen, unable to move or even think as my world crashed around me...

Those thoughts never stopped. I kept imagining everything that could go wrong, every eventuality that would end with me miserable and Nico hating my guts. Time held no meaning during the drive to camp. I just sat there, staring absentmindedly out the window while Jason's blue eyes bored holes in me. My eyes burned as I watched the endless farmland whip past me. Soon, the sun set and everything went dark, the only illumination being the van's headlights. I closed my eyes, hoping I could just stop thinking for once.

The van stopped eventually, crunching along the gravel road, and I cracked my eyes open. I could see Thalia's tree illuminated by the soft glow coming from the valley. Hearing the music and laughter...I immediately tensed up. It was time to deal with people.

I trekked up the hill slowly, Jason by my side. As we crested the top, I stopped to greet Peleus and stare down into the valley. The dining pavilion was lit with large bronze braziers, and I could see people milling around. There were a few scattered bonfires too, and the chilled air was filled with laughter and soft guitar music.

Before we could make our way down the hill, Jason placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me towards him.

"Look," he began softly, "Nico might not be here tonight...but if you at least try and talk to Annabeth or Piper about whatever's bothering you, I'll IM you next time he comes to camp. I'm sure the girls will understand whatever it is, I know Piper's been bugging me to get a hold of you ever since you left. And I just want Nico to be happy again, and if you can help with that...then I'm in no position to keep him from you. We have a deal?"

He proffered a hand, and I shook it. He seemed satisfied, and started jogging down the hill towards the pavilion. I followed him, shoving my hand back in my pocket and shivering against a cold wind.

The party itself wasn't so bad, I suppose.

It was nice and warm in the dining pavilion, the air heated comfortably by all the fires. Every kind of food you could imagine was spread across the stone tables, naiads and wind spirits weaving around collecting empty dishes. Apollo kids played guitars and campers sang around bonfires.

There were a lot of faces I didn't recognize, mostly Romans. Jason told me as we walked in that the whole party was organized as a sort of celebration for the end of the war and a new age for demigods. It ended up being a good thing that most people didn't recognize me. I was able to sit in a corner most of the night, and only people that really knew me came up to greet me. I made sure to grab a plate of food, and scrapped someone into the brazier as an offering to Aphrodite, making a silent prayer that tonight would go well.

Piper came over soon after I sat down and pulled me into a tight hug, excited to see me after so long. She assured me that we would definitely have to talk later. Leo came over and gave me a friendly punch on the arm before running off to help with some last minute preparations for a celebratory fireworks display. A few other people, like Will and the Stolls and Katie came over to say hello, asking me why I'd been gone for so long. I lied, telling them that I'd just wanted some time at home with my parents. You know, quality family time. They didn't seem to question it, since it seemed understandable.

There really wasn't much to complain about. Nobody came over and yelled at me for leaving like I'd expected. Jason seemed to be the only person really pissed off at my behavior now, but I could tell he was starting to be okay with me.

I probably would've enjoyed it a lot more if I hadn't been so nervous. Nico hadn't shown up, but then again, neither had Annabeth. I knew I was going to have to talk to her if I wanted a chance to talk to Nico...but it didn't mean I exactly wanted to. I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be okay, that she wasn't going to hate me.

Eventually, she showed up in front of me, blonde curls pulled into a ponytail under a soft gray beanie. She even had to tap me on the shoulder to rouse me from my thoughts. I shot up and looked at her, and my stomach fell at the look on her face. She looked sad and concerned, her forehead wrinkling softly. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but before she could I asked her if we could talk somewhere in private. She nodded, and took my by the hand, leading me away from the pavilion.

We walked for a little while before ending up at one of the deserted bonfires, logs still smoldering in the pit. She pulled up two chairs, as if from nowhere, and began poking the logs with an old stick, managing to coax out a small flame. Satisfied, she wrapped her gray pea coat tighter around herself.

"So...hey. It's um...been a while since we talked," she started, blush prominent on her already flushed cheeks. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a nervous tick of hers that I easily recognized.

I nodded, wringing my hands, "Yeah...it's...it's been a while."

Her eyes shone with concern, "Is everything okay? Because you don't really look like yourself."

I gulped, "No...I'm not okay." My eyes flickered to hers. I knew she was expecting that, there was no way she thought I was okay, and there was no point in lying.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Things have been a bit...rough...between us lately, but I still count you as my best friend, even after...after what I said over the summer. Is-is this about the what I said? Because if it is, I sorry Percy, I just thought it would be best for you and..." she rambled.

No point in denying anything now. She already had suspicions about my feelings for Nico anyway, I count it as half the reason we broke up in the first place.

"I-it does have something to do with that, but I'm not mad at you, not anymore at least. I guess...I guess I was a little angry at first, but something you said just...made a lot of sense. You said that I deserved someone better, someone that understood what I went through. Did you...did you have someone in mind, when you said that?"

"Yeah, I did," she replied softly.

I took a deep breath. No going back now.

"Well, you had a point. A-a really, really good point. I...I have feelings f-for Nico, like...the more than just friends kind of feeling. I think I've had them for a long time and I just never thought about it because of, well...us. But after you broke up with me, and after I almost lost him, I kinda just realized how much I needed him to feel normal and just...how much I l-loved him. After that, I just got so, so scared that he wouldn't feel the same way, that he would think I was a freak. And I thought the rest of the camp would think the same thing, a-and I couldn't go back to everyone hating me like that, like back when I was a kid. So I just...ran. I thought I could forget but...I can't forget him like that."

I blurted it all out as if it was one sentence. I was shaking badly by the end of it, and certainly not from the cold. I lowered my head between my knees, my eyes stung and stubborn tears threatened to fall down my cheeks.

I'd said it. Really, really said it. It wasn't a nightmare anymore, it was real. There was no taking back these words.

So I sat there, waiting for her to say something, anything, as the fire crackled in front of us.

"Percy," she started, "I want you to look at me."

And I did. Her eyes were filled with kindness.

"You've been my best friend for five years, Percy. I've fought two wars by your side, and you've changed my life in so many amazing ways. I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for you. So there is absolutely nothing you could say to me that would make me stop caring about you. And all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I thought letting you go so you could be with Nico would be the best thing for you, even if it made me sad to give you up. I still care about you, and I always will."

Before I could say anything, she pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my face in her neck, and told a succession of shaky breaths. If she noticed the wetness on her neck, she didn't say anything. After a little while, we both pulled away. She smiled softly at me.

I wiped my eyes, and let out a shaky laugh, "Y-you're the first person I've told that. I-I didn't expect it to go so well."

"I'm glad you did, I can only imagine how hard it was for you. And I know there are plenty of people that'll be okay with you being gay. Hades, Piper and I have been suspicious ever since Nico had his accident, and I know she'd be happy for you, whatever you choose. I won't pretend it'll always be easy, but just know I'll be here for you no matter what happens."

We hugged one more time before walking back to the pavilion. I smiled softly to myself, so happy that at least something tonight went alright. Annabeth still cared, and she assured me other people would be okay with who I was inside. I gave Jason a thumbs up once we were back at the pavilion, and a small grin passed over his face before he nodded to me.

Everything seemed okay, for a little bit. Annabeth's words had be reassuring. She didn't try to sugar coat things, she told me outright that there would be people that would disapprove. But she assured me that there were so many people that would support me. I was so thankful...

My little high ended too soon though. Just as I was about to grab something to eat, I saw something out of the corner of my eyes. The shadows were drawing closer to the darkest corner of the room. Suddenly, three figures stepped out in the light. One bulky guy, one small girl, and another, skinny figure that looked like it was trying to pull away from the smallest one's tight grasp.

My stomach dropped.

He was here.

IMPORTANT QUESTION!

Should the next chapter be from Percy's or Nico's P.o.V. ?

I could do either one, it's pretty much up to you! So please leave a comment as to which you would rather see!