"What are you doing Paddy?"

Jane blinked, confused and disoriented. "What -?" The woman – the one from his dream who looked and sounded like his mother was standing in front of him. He took a step forward to check his location, wondering where he was. It only took a second to recognize the surroundings. He was on his Malibu property, standing on a small outcropping which over looked the ocean.

He turned back slowly, knowing there was no point in trying to ignore the woman, or in making himself wake up. For some reason the mother-dream – he didn't know what else to call it – had returned. He'd hoped they had ended, but clearly that wasn't the case.

"What do you mean?" he finally asked with a deep sigh. "It appears as if I'm standing here talking to you – again, I'd like to point out.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it", she scolded. As she spoke she began to move towards the small path that paralleled the coast. He'd always loved to come here and walk along it, sometimes alone but more often with Angela. He hesitated for a moment, the memories sending a sharp but swift stab through him, but then he shrugged and began to walk beside her.

"No?" he glanced sideways at her. "What did you mean then?"

This time she sighed and shook her head. "Obstinate and contrary, just like your father!"

"I am not", he answered swiftly, sounding irritated. There was no way in hell he was anything like his father.

"I'm afraid you are Patrick", she nodded. "You were that way even as a tiny baby. It's the Jane blood in you. But that's not why I'm here. I want to know why in the world you're doing this? I thought that you'd started to get over the ridiculous guilt you insist on carrying with you."

"What?" He stopped, a deep scowl appearing on his face. "What are you talking about?"

She had stopped with him but at this she stepped forward, into his personal space. He would have backed away but a quick glance behind him showed him it wouldn't be wise as it was too close to the edge of the path and a sharp drop down.

She gently cupped his face in her two hands. "I'm speaking about you feeling guilty about marrying Teresa. You did the right thing Patrick. The two of you were meant to be. Don't go spoiling that with some ridiculous sense of guilt and betrayal. You know very well Angela would want you to be happy. Let her go Patrick and enjoy your new wife."

"I am."

"Really?" She looked deep into his eyes and then gave a sharp nod "You're trying, that's good. Just keep telling yourself to be happy and let your friends help. And for God's sake Paddy – enjoy your bride. She loves you and you love her. Celebrate that."

His moth – the woman – continued to look deeply into his eyes as she spoke. Her voice was soft and melodious, the sounds falling gently on his ears. He could feel a sense of peace wash over him and his eyes began to close. Was she hypnotizing him? He rather thought so, although he knew that was impossible. No one had ever managed to do it to him before and he wasn't about to allow it now. And anyway, he was sleeping. This was all a dream – wasn't it?

No – he wasn't going to allow – he breathed slowly, his eyes closed. He felt like he was floating and the memories started to float softly through his mind.

He thought of Teresa and how beautiful she had looked. He remembered the sound of the ocean in the background as they said their vows to one another. He pictured his friends standing there, smiles on their faces. The sense of peace began to morph into a feeling of joy. He allowed it to wash over him as he remembered his wedding to Teresa.

It had been strange how meaningful the ceremony had been to him, even though he didn't believe in God or religion. He knew it was important to Teresa so had determined to be on his very best behavior and not to make any sarcastic comments over the fact that it was a priest who married them. Her faith was important to her and he had learned to respect that, even if he couldn't believe it.

Still – there had been a feeling during that ceremony that he couldn't describe. It had reminded him of something – something from his past that he'd refused to acknowledge or recognize. But the feeling had remained. It was one of – he thought for a moment – of holiness, if that was the right word. It had felt, for those few brief moments, as if there was something or someone present that wasn't of this world.

He laughed softly at himself. He was either losing his mind or this whole dream thing was starting to affect him.

"You're not going crazy Patrick", the woman said. "You're remembering, you're allowing yourself to believe."

His eyes opened and the woman was still there. He was back on the trail by his house, not at his wedding. "Believe what? I believe in what I know is true, in what I can see and touch – not some myth."

"Can you see or touch Teresa's love?"

"That's different", he said sharply. "Why do you keep coming back? Why are you bothering me? Why don't you just let me live my life?"

"Because you're not living it – not fully. For that you need to accept who you are."

"And who is that?"

She smiled and patted him on the cheek, just like she'd done when he was a boy.

"Just remember Paddy. Guilt will only hurt those you love, including Angela and Charlotte, and certainly Teresa. Let it go and love."

"Let it go", he murmured softly, enjoying the touch he remembered from his childhood. The peace washed over him and he smiled.

"Jane?"

His eyes opened slowly and he found himself looking into other eyes – green eyes that were looking down at him. "Are you alright? You were talking in your sleep."

"I was?" He reached up and gently touched her face. "What did I say?"

"You said 'let it go'. Do you know what you meant?"

He smiled at her and his hand dropped. "Cable TV. There's nothing on and it's expensive. Let's just stream movies."

"Jane! Stop that", she swatted him. "Be serious."

"Why?" his grin grew and he sat up. He then pressed her down so that she was lying flat and he was looking down at her. He gave her a slow, deep kiss and her eyes closed gradually. Knowing that she couldn't lie on her back for too long he moved so that she was spooned up to him, his arm around her waist. He put his mouth next to her ear. "Do you have any idea how much I love you", he whispered.

She reached up with her hand and clasped his. "Only a little less than I love you?"

"Nope", he shook his head. "I love you more."

"No you don't", she answered and he could feel her smile break out. "I love you more."

"Lisbon -"

"Jane", she interrupted.

"What?"

"No – you called me Lisbon. We're married. So – Jane."

"You want to use my last name? That's rather – old-fashioned, isn't it?"

"Does it bother you?"

"Of course not. I'm very proud to have you use my name – just surprised. I never expected it. And I'll always think of you as Lisbon. Calling you Jane is just – weird."

He could tell she smiled again. "I'm keeping Lisbon professionally", she told him. "It's just kind of nice to think of us sharing a name."

"I could change mine to Lisbon. I've always liked the name."

"Nope", she shook her head. "You are definitely a Jane."

He sighed. "That's what my mother said", he told her. "I don't think that's such a good thing. The Jane's weren't the most – upstanding – of citizens."

"She told you that when you were a little boy? That seems rather – harsh."

"No. She just told me that now."

It took him a moment to realize what he'd just said and he grimaced, especially as the silence grew heavy.

"Uh – Jane?"

He sighed. "I just dreamt it, that was all."

"Oh." There was another moment in which Teresa didn't speak and then – "You've been dreaming of your mother a lot."

"I know – don't ask me why."

"Okay – I guess I won't but I am curious."

"Yeah, me too." He began to draw slow circles on her belly. "So – Jane?"

"Teresa Jane works."

"Yes – yes it does."

"You're okay with that?"

"With you using my name? I told you, I'd be proud for you to use it."

"No – I mean – you're okay with us being married? I worried for a while at lunch today that you were upset. Did I – did I rush you into this?"

"Oh Teresa!" He gently pulled her shoulder so that she turned and faced him. "I'm so sorry if you thought that." He swallowed, wondering whether it would be better to tell her the truth or to lie. "There was a brief moment when things felt a bit – strange – but I didn't for a moment regret marrying you." And that was the truth, he realized. Even in the depths of his guilt he had not once wished that he hadn't joined his life to hers.

He received a soft kiss on the cheek for that, but her expression looked serious. "What do you mean by strange?"

He let out a huff of breath and struggled to know how to answer her without making her feel frightened or sad. But he realized that he needed her to understand – to hear the truth.

"I was loyal to Angela's memory for a long, long time after she died", he told her quietly. He stared down at his hands as he spoke, unable to look her in the eye.

"I know", she nodded. "You know I never blamed you for that. I understood."

"I know you did", he smiled. "But I want you to know that you are my life now. You make me happy and I'm looking forward to our life together."

"But?" she asked softly.

"No but", he smiled. "I just had a brief moment today that I wondered if Angela might be hurt by me marrying again and I felt -"

"Guilty?"

"Mmm hmm", he admitted with a crooked smile. "But there wasn't a single moment of regret for marrying you, don't think that. It was just -"

"A totally normal reaction", she assured him. She stopped talking for a moment and she took a deep breath. "I need to know though – is this something that - that you're going to keep thinking about? I mean, are you still feeling guilty?"

"No", he assured her with a kiss. "I told you – it was just a momentary thing and I'm okay now. Both Cho and my – mother – told me to get over it." He grinned. "I never thought of it before, but he reminds me of my mother."

"Cho?" she laughed. "Oh, I'll have to tell him that."

"Don't you dare!"

"So tell me – how does he remind you of her?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, both of them are tough on the outside but soft on the inside. And neither of them put up with what my mother used to call my 'nonsense'."

"Smart people." She snuggled up to him. "So, how are you feeling now?"

He sighed and held her tightly. "We-ell, a little frustrated, if you want the truth."

"Frustrated?" She leaned her head back and peered up at him. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, I've got an arm full of beautiful woman and there's not much I can do about it right now."

"Oh! So feeling a bit frisky are you Mr. Jane?"

"Yes I am Mrs. Jane", he told her with a huff.

"Well – there are certain ways we can fix that you know."

He gave an endearing little squeak when her hand reached out and touched a sensitive spot. "Why Teresa Lisbon-Jane! Did I tell you I really love you?"

"Then prove it to me Mister!"

Over the next few days his mind kept returning to his dream – or dreams to be more precise. For some reason, which he couldn't or didn't want to name, he knew there was something he needed to remember. He also knew that he didn't want to remember. Something was holding him back from accessing that part of his memory palace. He wondered briefly if it was better to ignore the dreams, and the feeling of something that he needed to remember, or to try and figure it out.

Well, since it was only a few short weeks until his child would arrive he decided it was best to try and forget about it. He had enough on his mental plate to deal with. He was, in equal measure, excited and terrified by the prospect of his soon to be born child. He was in love with it already and spent many hours, when Teresa was sleeping, just touching her belly and feeling the gentle movements of the child. But then there were the times when his imagination kicked in and he thought of all the horrible possibilities.

"How are you doing?" Abbott asked him when he returned to work. "I hear you and Teresa finally tied the knot."

"Mmm", Jane smiled. "We did. And I'm doing well. She wanted to get married before the baby came. We're going to have a bigger celebration after the baby."

"Good because I really want to give a speech."

Patrick's eyebrow went up. "Somehow I don't think that's a good idea Dennis."

Abbott grinned and turned to head back to his office. "Oh, yes. It'll be very good."

Jane stood, looking after him and finally shook his head. He'd definitely have to do something about that. He wondered what would happen if he tried to hypnotize the man.

"Hey Jane", Michelle called out. "What's this I hear about you going off and getting married? Is it true."

"Yes", he nodded and held up his hand. It was still a bit strange to see the very different ring on his finger, although he was growing to like it more and more each day. For the first time in years his ring meant something joyous rather than tragic.

"And you didn't invite us?"

"Uh – it was just a private ceremony", he told her. "We're having a party to celebrate after the baby."

"Okay, good. I hope there will be dancing."

"Of course."

"Dancing?" Cho asked as he walked into the room. "Why?"

"To celebrate Jane and Lisbon's wedding", Vega told him. "There has to be dancing."

"No there doesn't. We could go out for pizza and beer", Cho said with a straight face.

"For a wedding? Wow, you're a romantic."

"No I'm not", Cho answered, sitting down at his desk.

"No kidding. So Jane – are you a romantic?" Vega asked.

"Me?" He thought for a moment. "You'll have to ask Teresa."

"Ask me what?" Teresa approached her desk slowly, feeling heavy and ungainly as she got closer to her due date.

"She wants to know if Jane's a romantic?"

"Teresa?" Patrick asked her with a wicked twinkle. "Am I romantic?"

Her head tilted to the side as she considered. "Hmm. Well, jumping over a fence and forcing yourself onto a plane was kind of romantic."

"There, see", Jane smiled and sat on his couch.

"And you did dance with me a couple of times."

"There ya go", Jane laid back on the couch.

"But then there were all the times you tricked me – definitely not romantic."

"That was before", he said, not looking at her.

"Before?"

"Mmm. Before I jumped the fence."

"So that's what we're calling it?" Lisbon said, her brows raised but a laugh in her voice. "The day Patrick Jane jumped the fence."

"Yup", he nodded and grinned. "A moment never to be forgotten."

"Certainly not by the TSA", Cho muttered.

Michelle laughed. "So, when are you going to have the party?"

"After junior arrives", Teresa grimaced. "Probably not until quite awhile afterward. I expect I'm going to be too busy."

"Walking the floor, trying to get him to sleep, constant feedings", Vega nodded.

"Mmm hmm", Teresa agreed. "Jane is so time-consuming."

Even Cho laughed at that and soon they were all back to work – or at least all of them but Jane, who was lying staring at the ceiling, a small smile on his face.

A short while later Abbott exited his office. "We have a case folks, a kidnapping of a young boy. The parents are on their way, so let's hop to it."

Jane sighed and sat up. These were the cases he hated the most, the ones where a child was involved. He walked over to Teresa and gave her a quick hug, as much for his own comfort as hers.

"Let's find him and then go home."

She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. At that moment she realized that whether or not Jane was romantic didn't really matter. What did matter is that she could always count on him. "Yeah – let's do it."