Aaaaaannnnddddddddd….once more I suck. Yet another month goes buy and I can't seem to write a sentence I don't immediately hate :l But I managed to pull this together, and I actually like it, sort of. Honestly, this chapter was just kinda stressful to write because it's really important!

So I'll leave you guys and let you enjoy an eagerly awaited moment between Percy and Nico (finally!)

I felt empty.

Completely and utterly empty.

There was no joy, no sadness, no anger, not since he left. Not since I realized he was gone for good. It didn't hurt like last time. I didn't spend my hours crying in spite of myself. I wasn't even lonely.

I just felt empty. That was all.

I guess I was concerned at first when Jason told me Percy had gone home so suddenly. The panic over whether he knew my true feelings ended about as soon as they started. Some sudden rationality got the better of me. There was really no way he could possibly know about my feelings, I'd been too careful. And Jason was supposed to be my friend. He would never let something like that slip, and if Percy knew...Jason would make sure I knew what was going on as soon as possible.

So then I thought that there might've been some family emergency, that his mom or Paul might have been in an accident. I knew how much he cared about his mom and how good Paul was to them, so I hardly wanted anything bad to happen.

But Percy never IM'd me like I expected him to. I thought that once everything was settled he would call me. I thought he cared about me enough not to leave me alone again. Nobody else would talk to me either. I spent my days alone, sitting around the infirmary, reading, sleeping and just waiting for him to call and tell me everything was okay and that he'd be back soon. But no call ever came and nobody would tell me why.

I hardly got any visitors. Jason didn't stop by at all, everyone said he was busy. Piper and Leo dropped by once to see how I was doing, but I was never really in the mood to talk to them. Really, it was only Hazel that visited me, and she just asked me about my accident. She never let on to knowing anything about where Percy was or what he was up to. And if I asked about him, she would just dance around the question and give me vague answers. He would be back soon. I'm sure he's fine. It'll be alright.

I got a little angry too, the worry fading after a few days of loneliness. He left me, even though he promised he would never do it again. It made me wonder what could've happened to drive him away, and how I could've gotten him to stay. I went through another flurry of self-conscious bullshit. Like, did I do something wrong? Was it all my fault? Did he know? Was everyone lying?

I never let on to my emotions though. I kept myself calm, I didn't really talk. I was good at hiding them, after all those years of pretending I was completely fine even when I wasn't. At back then I could get away with sleeping most of my day away, not being forced to leave the infirmary.

It all changed when Jason came to talk to me about a week after Percy left. He told me that Percy wasn't coming back, maybe not ever.

After that...I just felt empty. I felt sucked dry.

My time in the infirmary had been emotional to say the least, but in that moment, …with Jason standing next to me….I felt nothing. I just sat there, dumbfounded as Jason stared at me, concern in his eyes. I couldn't believe it. Percy had left me. Jason left eventually, knowing I wasn't going to want to talk about him.

I wasn't even sad or angry anymore.

I was just so done with it. Caring, emotions, love. All of it.

It wasn't worth it in the end, that much was obvious. Caring was not an advantage, I'd been through more than enough pain to learn that much. The minute I opened my heart to someone, the very second I let my guard down and bared my soul to one of the only people I trusted, I just ended up getting hurt.

So I ran again. The same day Jason came to tell me about Percy, only hours after he told me what was going on, Will let me out of the infirmary. All I had to do was come back to see him every few days to check up on my healing process. I guess he trusted me enough to let me off on my own, even though I was still hurt. The months I spent at camp were seemingly enough to prove I wasn't going to leave again. They were so wrong.

The second I got to my cabin, I packed my bag. I grabbed all my clothes and my few possessions, and managed to swipe a canteen of nectar and a bit of food.

Then I shadow traveled away. I didn't say goodbye to Jason or Hazel or Will...

I just left.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was so done with everything. I was done with being hurt over and over and over again. Camp reminded me of Percy, and I was committed to just...not feeling anymore, not loving him anymore. I needed to forget him. If I stayed at camp, I would just get sad again. He haunted every corner, every inch of the place. I couldn't take that, not anymore.

It wasn't like all the other times I'd run away either. This time, I pledged myself to my father, willing to do his bidding, anything he needed. I traveled where he told me to travel, killed the monsters he told me to kill. I turned into nothing more than a robot, fulfilling his needs, not caring about how it affected my health. I ignored the hunger pangs because most of the time I couldn't be bothered with stopping to eat. I ignored the weight loss, more than enough to offset the weight I'd put on thanks to regular meals at camp. I pushed through the constant exhaustion, every so often crashing at my father's palace and sleeping for a day at a time. When I was injured, I would patch myself up with whatever medical supplies I could scrounge up. I would show up at Camp Jupiter only as a last resort, and I never let a healer touch me.

I kept myself constantly busy, never giving myself time to think about how miserable I was, how much I missed sleeping in an actual bed with the promise of hot food in the morning. I didn't let myself think about how much I wanted to see Hazel or Jason. And I especially didn't let myself think about Percy. Where he was, what he was doing. No, I was done with him. I was done with everything.

I still saw Hazel once every few weeks when I inevitably got in over my head injury wise. No matter what I tried to convince myself, I couldn't stop caring about her. She was my only sister, the only family I had left. She would always insist on patching me up herself. Sometimes I would indulge her and stick around for a small dinner. I never asked about Percy, and she never let on to knowing anything. Really, I just did it to prove how "alright" I was. We almost never talked about news and I never stayed long.

I could tell she didn't believe me when I said I was fine. She took one look at my wounds and launched into a lecture, telling me that I needed to go back to camp. She told me what I was doing was unhealthy, that she worried about me all the time.

And honestly...she was right. I wasn't okay. When I looked in a mirror, I saw things I hadn't seen in months. My cheeks were hollow. My eyes wild. My hair lank and in need of cutting. When I looked down at my arms, I saw too pale skin, thin and papery white with blue veins and angry red cuts and blotchy bruises. My bad shoulder ached constantly from overexertion, the swinging of my sword. My joints protested each movement, all because I slept on nothing more than a thin sleeping bag on rocks. I was pushing myself to limits I'd never even imagined, in more ways than one.

I was too scared to tell Hazel that sometimes my hands would turn to shadows and it would take all the concentration I could muster to get them to turn solid again. It usually only happened when I used my powers too much, but it had been getting worse and worse as time went on. I tried my best to limit myself, but it didn't always work out that way, especially I emergencies. It was terrifying...but I couldn't tell her. She would force me to stay at Camp Jupiter, maybe force me to see Will again. She wouldn't let me out of her sight until they figured out what was wrong.

But just because I admitted that I wasn't okay didn't mean I was ready to go back to camp and be normal. I knew I couldn't go on like this, taking all my father's orders without question, but I wasn't going back. I would tone down my activities in the Underworld and wait out the next few years down there, where I could actually be alone. No Percy, no reason to even think of him. When I turned eighteen (or something like that), I would forge some documents and move back to Italy or somewhere nobody could find me. And I would forget, finally, finally be able to forget all the pain Percy had caused me. I would move on…and things would be different.

So New Years Eve was supposed to be my last hurrah. I would actually say my goodbyes to that people that had meant something to me. Jason, Will, Reyna, maybe even Piper, Leo, and Frank. Then I would just retreat to the shadows and be gone.

But it didn't end up that way.

I shadows traveled to Camp Half-Blood with Hazel and Frank in tow for the party, but the second my feet hit the ground and I looked up across the pavilion, I saw him standing there.

Percy fucking Jackson.

Seeing him made my blood boil, and standing there, it occurred to me that I'd never let myself be angry at him. I'd never let myself feel anything at all. I'd pushed them all away, keeping myself busy to the point where I could think of nothing other than surviving and fighting.

Now I was furious, properly furious. Seeing him awakened all the repressed emotions that I'd pretended to forget.

I'd never once considered the fact that he might be at the party. I thought he was gone, dropped off the face of the planet. I never thought I would have to deal with him again. But there he was, standing with his arm around Annabeth's shoulder, a smile on his face. He was so very happy with his perfect life and his perfect girlfriend and the perfect future they had together.

Gods...I'd had the decency to be concerned about him, to be worried that something was actually wrong with him. But no, there was nothing wrong. He was perfectly fine.

He didn't care about me, he didn't need me. He left me alone without a second thought, without a goodbye. There was no family emergency, no reason.

Things were supposed to be different. We'd shared something so real together, something beautiful. We'd healed together, holding each other up in the face of gruesome memories. I thought our time together meant something to him. It should have changed our relationship, made it strong to the point that nothing could've torn us apart for very long.

But it didn't mean anything. All that time spent trying to help him was worthless. He didn't care about me at all.

Why did I do this to myself? Why did I fall in love with someone who only ever hurt me?

I was so done with this. Screw saying goodbye to everyone, I was leaving now and they would never hear from again.

I tore my hand from Hazel's and moved to push my way through the crowd out into the woods, but she grabbed my forearm instead. I hissed as her iron grip tightened around some bandaged wounds. Frank took one look at us and backed away, occupying himself with food and Roman friends.

"Where do you think you're going?" she whispered, holding her grip and pulling me closer.

"I'm not doing this Hazel, there's no way...not with him here," I replied, voice shaking with anger. She followed my gaze and saw Percy across the room.

"C'mon, you have to talk to him! It's...it's important!" she pleaded.

"And why's that?" I snapped back, trying to shake my arm away.

"Because...because he convinced you to stay last time and I'm worried about you! You're my only brother, and I hate seeing you like this. Y-you just show up all cut and bruised and I'm scared that one day you won't make it in time to get help. What if something goes wrong when you're out there alone, huh?"

I finally ripped my arm away from her.

"It doesn't matter what happens to me. I don't even care anymore...I just can't do this," I trembled, backing away. I caught eyes with Percy on the way out, but I tore myself away. I couldn't do this anymore.

So I ran again, just like I always did. I kept to the shadows, flickering in and out of sight, avoiding all the campfires and all the people. I didn't trust myself to shadow travel, but I couldn't stay here. I could feel myself shaking, my hands trembling as I stuffed them in my coat pockets praying they wouldn't just slip through the fabric. I kept my head down, hoping that nobody was following me.

Every so often, I would here heavy footfalls and someone shouting my name.

But it wasn't Hazel. It wasn't Jason. It was Percy.

My prayers weren't answered.

I walked faster, ducking in and out of darkness in a desperate attempt to lose him.

No, no, no. Gods no, I can't do this.

I had my hand on one of the charred door of my cabin when I heard a scuffle behind me. I whipped around and there he was, bathed in green light.

He was as tall as ever and wrapped in a thin coat, hands stuffed in his pockets. His black hair was plastered again his face from the wind, his cheeks discolored from the cold. He refused to look me in the eyes, instead focusing on kicking the dirt around his feet.

I stood there, waiting for him to say something, anything. Some sort of rationalization, some reason as to why we hadn't spoken in mouth. An apology wouldn't be out of the question either…

"Hey," he murmured, his eyes flickering up to meet mine.

Seriously? No "I missed you", no "I'm so sorry". Months without speaking, and all I got was a weak greeting.

"What do you want?" I replied, trying to keep my voice neutral. But I could hear the venom seeping into my words, and I saw the hurt look on his face when he looked up at me, eyes shining.

"Look…can we talk in private, maybe inside?" he asked quietly, shivering as another cold wind blew past.

I looked hard at him, my eyes narrowed. Was he even worth my time? He'd hurt me so much in so many ways that I really wasn't sure. Maybe I should just shut the door in his face and forget about him, leave camp for good. I might be the best thing for me. I'd spent five years hopelessly crushing on a guy that was 100% not gay, not even in the slightest. And for most of those years, he'd been a complete jerk. Hell, he was still a complete jerk.

I could leave him, right here, right now. I could barricade myself in my cabin and be strong for once. I could say to hell with all this and move on.

But the look on his face stopped me from moving a muscle, kept me from shooting him down immediately. Even from this distance, I could tell he was distressed. I could see his eyes were shining, brimming with fear and sadness. His body language spoke for itself, his hands jerking nervously as he toyed with the edge of his shirt. My heart practically melted at the sight of him. I couldn't just leave him like that…no matter how much I wished I could…

I jerked my thumb towards the door, and threw it open. I knew he would scurry behind me. I heard the door click behind me.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I leaned against my dresser. I watched as Percy took a seat on my bed, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to regain some warmth. Looking at him closer, I could tell he didn't look well…

No. Don't give in just yet. At least here what he has to say first. Then you can decide. Yes or no. Leave or stay.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice calm, "I'm going to ask you one more time. What do you want?"

"I…um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, for…for everything. I never should've left like that. It…well, it wasn't the right thing to do, and I'm sorry," he spoke softly, his eyes flitting up to meet mine.

"So, what? Am I supposed to just forgive you now?" I rasped, chuckling softly, madly, "Because it is not going to be that easy, Percy. Did you really think you could just waltz back to camp and pretend like the past four months never happened? You…you hurt me, a lot. You played me. Do you think it's funny, toying with peoples emotions? Because it's not, it's really not. Gods, you got me to care about you, made me think that whatever the hell we had together meant something. I actually cared about you! I thought you were my friend! And then…then you just left…you left me alone and it fucking hurt. And for what? What could you possibly have to say to justify what you did?"

My breathing was ragged by the time I finished. I hadn't once realized that I was shouting by the end of the whole rant, pacing the room and throwing my hands around. And gods, I wanted to say more. I wanted to let him know how angry I was, how much he'd hurt me. I looked over, expecting to see some dumb-founded expression on his face. That's not what I was greeted to though. Percy was hunched over, face buried in his hands, elbows propped up on his knees. I could swear he was shaking.

"So why?" I asked, voice quivering, "Why did you do it?"

All I got back was an unintelligible mumble.

"What did you say?"

Immediately, his head snapped up and he looked at me. His eyes were red and wet, and he whispered in a quiet, shaky voice, "I like you."

My blood ran cold, my eyes unfocused. No, no, no. This had to be a nightmare or a dream or something. This wasn't really happening. No, it couldn't be. No…soon I would wake up in the Underworld, in my dad's palace. This couldn't be happening.

"What?" I asked, voice almost too quiet to hear.

"I-I like you," he choked out, "I like you in…in ways that friends don't like friends. Like…like in a r-romantic way. And I got so scared after I realized it. I-I had no idea what to do because I didn't want to just be friends…I wanted to be more than that. E-ever since I almost lost you, I just realized how much you meant to me, how much I wanted to…be with you. And-and I thought you would hate me if I ever told you, that you wouldn't even want to be my friend anymore. So…so I ran hoping I would be able to f-forget those feelings, that maybe we could just be friends again. A-and I know it was stupid and I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, a-and I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore. Just…I'm sorry."

Have you ever had one of those moments where a single second goes on for hours and the whole world moves in slow motion?

That's what the very next moment was like. I felt like I couldn't breath, couldn't think about anything other than what he'd just told me. I knew on the outside I was gaping like a fish, still and silent. But on the inside? I was going insane.

Because it made sense. Sure, it was the wrong thing to do, but he'd done exactly what I had done all those years ago. He ran away because he was scared of being rejected, scared of being labeled a freak again. He couldn't handle that, so he'd run off and tried to forget, hoped distance would dilute the feelings, the emotions. But it didn't work, it never, ever worked. I couldn't hate him for it… at least no more than I already hated myself.

He was sorry. And he liked me, he actually, really liked me in the same way that I liked him.

I walked over to him in what felt like slow motion. I sat on the bed next to him, taking on of his hands in mine, squeezing it lightly.

Then I did something I never, not in a million years thought I would get the chance to do.

I kissed Percy Jackson.

With one hand still grasping his, I moved the other and tangled it in his messy hair. I leaned in, pressing our lips together, softly at first.

I kissed Percy Jackson, and he was kissing me back.

He tasted like the ocean, like everything I'd ever dreamed of.

If there was ever a perfect moment in my life, one where I knew things were going to change in the most amazing way possible…this was it.

This was it.

Ah! So how was that? Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know what you think, and what you might want to happen after this!