Mild Swearing…oh also…Ta-da! Longer chapters so far! I'm so joyous I could jump in the air and never come down! As I promised you…This… Chapter…is here! By the way I'm not sure if this is a comeback or not cause I might actually get block again (surprise….) after this arc sort of thing depending the direction it MIGHT take. But no worries! So far I'm here! I'm trying out using Japanese language (shh this is a secret but...I'm actually studying it). So have fun and enjoy!
"I got fat!" Chanell screamed as she woke up from her nap, reaching for the air, scaring the doctors and nurses passing by her room. Chanell blinked, taking a few moments to process everything, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. "…Ah" Chanell's glazed eyes cleared slowly as she began to remember where she was. A large growling sound echoed throughout the room before Chanell whimpered. "I'm hungry!" she yelled to herself, melting back onto the bed holding her stomach. "Mou! I need food!" Chanell said out loud rolling back and forth in her bed but stopped immediately, snapping her head in the direction the smell of deliciousness was coming from. Chanell stared in that direction as a waterfall of drool dripped out of her mouth, "Food…." She groaned, wiping the drool from her mouth with the sheets, before jumping out the three story window in her hospital gown, starling a few people in the lower levels who happened to look out the window.
"Edible Organism!" she yelled before running towards the busy streets in a speed of light.
Konohamaru walked out of a dango shop with his teammates eating dango just as something zoomed past them, leaving behind a trail of dust smoke. Reaching the end of that road Chanell stopped and looked back surveying the groaning adults and children on the floor, one grandmother on the roof, a dog in a garbage can, and the mess she created before looking forwards. "Yosh (Okay!)!" she said nodding, eating the last dango on the stick before zooming off again around the corner.
Konohamaru sweat dropped along with his friends, "What part of is this 'okay'!?" they screamed as they slapped air with the back of their hands. "Hmm?" He also just realized that his hand was empty "Don't steal other's things!" he screamed in the open road.
Tsunade opened the window of her office and took a breath of fresh air just as something zoomed past her and hit the closed door. Tsunade looked back to see Chanell upside down against the door holding a large ramen bowl filled with ramen in her hands staring straight at her. Tsunade looked towards her desk and noticed her food missing only to look back up to see Chanell slurping up whatever remains left in the bowl in a hunched over sitting position.
"Wahh!" Chanell yelled giving a sigh of satisfaction, "Thank you for this wondrous food Lord! Woo that hit the spot! Thanks Obaa-"raising her hand in thanks as she was talking only to be punched through the door to a wall down the corridor. "Ow! What was that for!? I said thank you!" Chanell screamed at she sat upright holding her head. "Ah! Did I not say thank you enough?...Yosh" she nodded before she got up, clapped her hands together twice and kept them in the praying position before bowing "Thank you for the…" *POW* "Ow ow ow ow…." She whimpered holding her head.
She looked back up at Tsunade who had a demonic aura around her. "Ah!" Chanell held up a finger "Matte (Wait)! Was it for the comment? It's okay! You don't look over fifty! Gomen! Tsu-chan!" *POW* Chanell clutched her head "Woman you are going to kill me…" Tsunade grabbed the back of the gown and dragged Chanell to her office. Chanell wailed "Save me!" flailing her arms and legs before the door closed. Chanell kept her back to the door while rubbing her butt, as Tsunade walked to her chair and sat down. "Now... As I can see –"Tsunade stopped, noticing Chanell wasn't even paying attention "I think I got a splinter up my ass..." and banged the table, causing Chanell to clutch to the door behind her in fear.
"-you're okay considering you're standing just fine. I will forgive this….Only if you do a C-rank mission for me." Tsunade said with a large vein bulging in her head. In the background you could hear Chanell with a small voice say "You okay woman? Looks like it's about to burst." Before shutting her mouth as Tsunade's vein grew bigger. Chanell put her hand under her chin in a thinking position "Hmm I don't know-" "Take a scroll to the Sand Village" "Okay" Chanell nodded.
Tsunade handed her a scroll and Chanell took it and was about to put it in her kimono before looking down and noticing she was in a hospital gown. "What is this?" Tsunade sweat dropped. "A bit slow there..." She commented before adding "You leave immediately" "But I can't run around like this… what if people get the wrong idea?" Chanell bluntly stated as she looked at Tsunade with dull eyes, "Baka jyanai no (Are you an Idiot?)…" Tsunade raised her fist and slammed it on the desk. "After you change" she gritted out. "Nanda (Oh!)! You are smart after all!" Chanell commented with a sigh of relief before racing out, leaving Tsunade behind, screaming her name.
Chanell walked into her apartment she shared with Rimi and changed into a black kimono with long sleeves that had a flower design at the end of the sleeves and at the waist. She also put on black tight leggings that end before the knee. She equipped some kunai and was about to leave before she noticed a note in the kitchen.
"If you're reading this, this means your home… Good. If you're wondering why I'm not around, I have been assigned a mission with Gai's Team, remember that one? Remember that episode? Curry? Think hard but don't over exert yourself. So yeah there is no food so do whatever but don't get in trouble. I'm trusting you, stay safe.
Rimi."
Chanell picked up a pen before jotting down at the bottom of the page,
"I'm going on one too! Guess! Guess! THE SAND VILLAGE! God you're slow… but yeah this is to tell you that… Bye!
Chanell
P.S There is one leftover dango piece left on a plate on a fridge…I ate it."
Chanell put the pen down walked out of the apartment and locked the door. "Time to go!" Chanell exclaimed just as her stomach growled. She sank to her knees holding her stomach. "After I eat something…" She groaned out and ate a large lunch in a nearby restaurant, also buying a bento for the way.
Chanell waved to Kotetsu and Izumo at the gates and was about to leave before Kotetsu stopped her and waved the scroll over his head. "Forgetting something!? He exclaimed as Chanell walked back and took the scroll from him and placed it in her kimono. She rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment "Tehe…" before disappearing into the forest.
Few hours later, Chanell was still jumping tree to tree as fast as she could before nightfall comes and she would be alone in the woods. Sensing that it was about to get dark Chanell found a clearing with a large tree and was about to sit and eat before twenty ninja jumped down, surrounding her. Chanell looked around in shock before getting in her stance waving a hand to them, taunting them. They all ran at her at once, one kicking, another punching, and another throwing a few kunai at her. Chanell jumped up and spun, kicking a few in the face before landing and striking another pose a few feet away, ready for any attacks. She took a step, adjusting her position causing her to slip on a puddle letting go of the bento and watched as her bento breaking apart upon impact.
Silence echoed throughout the forest as Chanell looked at her lunch that was now on the ground, falling to her knees she looked at them with a gleam in her eye. "How dare you! I'll kill you" she screamed as the gleam, caused a spark which soon created fire as Chanell began emitting a murderous intent. 'It was your fault…' They thought as she took a step towards their direction before she slipped again, hitting her head, knocking herself out. The bandits stood there for a second in silence before one spoke out "We're kidnapping her right?" which made them snap out of their daze, pick her up and throw her in a cage.
Chanell woke up groggily, only able to make a few blurry images before shaking her head and blinking a few times to regain her sight. First thing she noticed that she was in a medium sized cage. Chanell then noticed in front of her and on the side as well as behind that there were men that looked like samurai with horses guarding it. "Psst…" Chanell whispered to left guard. "PSSSsssst!" She whispered louder to gain his attention. "PSSSSSSSST!" She whispered/screamed to him. "Oi! Baka!" Chanell began to pick up small rocks in the cage and started to throw them, one at a time for each word watching as they bounce off his helmet with a light ping every time. "Over here! Oooooi! Right here!...Look! Baka! Aho! Loser! Ooooi!" The guard's irk mark grew bigger with every word until Chanell threw the biggest rock she found at his head, which bounces off his helmet but not before causing his head to jolt forwards. Fed up, he finally turns with a "What!?"
Chanell huffed and turned her head to the side. "Never mind! Meanie!" He growled and turned back. Once the guard's head was turned, Chanell picks up another rock and was about to throw it, but put her hand down when he turned his head back to look at her again. This went on for a few minutes before he stopped and stared straight ahead, ignoring her antics. That was until Chanell found it as the perfect opportunity to throw it at his head, hard, making him almost fall off his horse. The guard turned to her again and found Chanell looking off innocently looking to the side with her arms crossed, whistling. "What do you want?" He growled out.
"Yo! Yo! Mind telling me which way we are headed?" she asked. He only turned his head back and answered "I can't answer that…" "Oh come on" she whined rolling from one side to side of the cage to another, "Even the direction we are headed like, near the Sand or Leaf or something!" The man didn't say anything, but once Chanell hit his head with another rock, he sighed and said "Near the sand."
Chanell nodded and gave him a thumbs up and laid back onto the hay, crossing her arms behind her head. "Thank god. I thought I was going to have to walk the whole way." The man gave her a weird look before looking forward again. Chanell began humming '99 bottles of beer on the wall' once she got bored after only looking at nature. 'Really… isn't there anything like, I don't know…sandish? I mean if we're going to the sand village or be around there, there must be something like sand related… I mean even a Gaara... give me something.' She thought only to become distracted as a large bump in the road caused her to fly up and then fall down hitting the bottom of the cage, cutting her off in mid-verse.
"Oh~!"
"20 bottles of sake on the wall, 20 bottles of sake! One got cut down, fell to the ground, now there are only-!" A guard in the back behind the cage hit one of the bars with his spear and screamed "Be quiet!" Chanell lifted her head up to look in front of her and gave him a wide eyed look and smile with a dark aura "Shut the fuck up… I'm singing here" scared, the guard became quiet and turned his gaze away from hers. "19 bottles of sake on the wall-!"
After she finished, Chanell gone quiet for a second and the men sighed in relief, before she started singing another song, "Na~chibenaaa~! Babachibaba! Tsu~ wenya ayego! Wenya a~! Bachivenya! Wabakari~chibabo!-" (Circle of Life) some guards actually covered their ears. "-The circle of life!" she finished and rolled over on her stomach swinging her legs in the air as she looked at the guards on the horses in front of her. 'Well there is no bother trying to escaping now…" she thought as she yawned and fell asleep. An hour later a large bump jolted the cage again which awakened Chanell and as she woke up, she noticed the area they were now in was covered in sand. "Finally!" Chanell exclaimed as she stretched out.
"Hey! You!...Oh Guard of mine!" The left guard's eye twitched and thought 'She's awake' and asked her "What do you want now?" "I reeaally need to pee." He pointed to the corner of the cage. "Do it there." Chanell gasped at him "You barbarian! Have you noticed that I am of female form? Can you at least give me a bush or something!?" "No." An irk mark appeared on her head. "Fine. I'll just pee on you…" The turned his head to her direction quickly. "You wouldn't" Chanell gave a leer "I have good aim…" "Right." "I'm serious! Hurry up! I can't hold it anymore!" she said as she bounced around was about to pull down her shorts. "Fine! Okay!" the guard gave a wave to the front for them to stop. He unlocked the cage, "Here-!" Chanell punched him into the forest. "Man that's like the oldest trick in the book…"
One guy in the front screamed as a horse ran by, making the other horses pulling the cage relent as well, thus stopping the movement. Swinging onto the top of the cage and sliding to the opposite side to see the other guard of the right look around. She lied down on the top part of the cage and whistled. Once he looked up she punched him in the face, knocking him into the trees as well. Letting the second horse run off, in the corner of her eye she noticed the guards behind her and the gang of the ninja's that jumped her before, start to run towards her. Chanell's eyes widened before she hunched her shoulders and said "You feeling lucky punks?"
(The good the bad and the ugly - The best theme tune ever) They stopped and watched her every movement. Chanell squinted her eyes with a hand up, getting in a stance. They also squinted their eyes ready for her.
"Time to pay back for that bento of mine!"
(Mortal Kombat Theme Song Original)
Running at full speed with a battle cry she jumped and hit one guy in the face with her shin breaking his whole face in the process and spun around in midair throwing him using her leg, to the crowd of ninja running at her. "Strike!" yelled Chanell. As soon as she landed she ran straight into the crowd grabbing one guy in the face and hitting all his pressure point leaving him immobile, using him as a shield from the other kunai. She threw him towards one of the ninja's at the top of the tree and began running around and hitting all possible targets' pressure points effectively knocking them out. After knocking out the last ninja or so she thought, she began running towards the front guard only to stop as a flying ninja tried to tackle her but she grabbed the back of his head in mid-flight and slammed him straight to the ground, face first. "What are you…a dumbass?" Chanell asked out loud as the ninja slumped over, knocked out.
(End Song)
Letting go of his head, she looked back towards the cage only to notice it getting farther and farther away from her line of sight. "…..Oi…W-wait! Come back!" Chanell screamed and began to run only to give up a few seconds later and fall to the floor in exhaustion. Sniffing she thought to herself 'No fair…' Looking back the trail of bodies in distain, an idea came. Chanell stood up and went around collecting any spare change or pieces of food that they had. Eventually she ended up collecting 3000 yen and a chicken drum stick. Grunting she thought 'Poor ass ninjas. Need a new hobby, like be a farmer. Man that would be the life. Sitting there munching on fresh meat, smelling shit for the rest of your life…actually making money'
After walking for a while, Chanell stopped and surveyed her surroundings with part of the chicken bone hanging out of her mouth. "Where am I? Am I even going the right way? Let's see I went up, right then straight…" She began mumbling and nodding to herself. "I see so that means...hmm right... I'm lost!" She screamed into nothingness. "Well Rimi always said that if you're lost just stay where you are." Chanell sat down and waited.
30 minutes later "I am going nowhere with this…" she thought out loud. *Sigh* "Well… I'm walking!"
Walking for some time, Chanell looked in the far distance in front of her and saw a large lobster sizzling in a large bowl. Beside it was a large cold lemonade. "WOOO…" she thought staring at the food in front of her with shining eyes 'No... wait a minute… that's impossible' Chanell thought rubbing her eyes but when she opened them again, the food was still there. "That means" she stared "It's real!?" Chanell ran towards the food and she was so taken in that she didn't notice the- *BOOM* "Ugh!" Chanell grunted again holding her nose. "What the…" Following the wall upwards, she noticed it was the large mountain gate.
…
"Wait…my food!?" Chanell screamed crazily as she looked around only to find it gone.*Sniff* "It was a mirage after all?" she sniffed covering her eyes with her right arm. 'Wait... but this means…'"Mwahaha! So left or right? Hmm originally I would go left so….right it is! But wait…what if I wanted to go right all along so I tricked myself into thinking to go left? Meaning if I think I should go right then I should go left instead? But I thought going left is better so maybe right is actually the worst way… Ah…screw it! Village here I come!" and began running as fast as she could, right, following the wall. Eventually she could see the two guards in front of the opening.
"Excuse me sirs! I would like to enter your village!" She screamed to the guards, running towards them, waving her hand. "Halt!" They screamed as they got into fighting stance once they say a large ball of sand smoke coming towards them. They relaxed slightly once they noticed it was a small girl. Chanell stopped in front of them panting with her hands on her knees. "Wow…your…wall… damn… did you…have to make…it…so long?" She asked taking gulps of air in between.
Stretching backwards she sort of regained her breath and reached into her kimono. "Stop!" Chanell stood still at his abrupt yell but smiled once she understood why he yelled. "Oh you thought? Little ol' me? Seriously? Like 'could kill you' seriously? Ooooo wow do I look strong?" Chanell began to barrage them with questions. Taken by surprise they lowered their guard which gave her the chance to pull the scroll with the leaf insignia without any problem, "Ta-da! A message from the Fifth Hokage." The two guards relaxed and let her in. She waved to them and ran into the Sand Village.
"My God…Finally..."
I'm currently going on a vacation trip so I think I might update in another week or so, actually might be sooner? No promises though. Hope you guys enjoyed it!