I know, I absolutely and completely suck. Sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoy.

We stayed in the cabin for a little longer, just enjoying each other's company and trying to calm down. I held him close as we lay back down. He willingly accepted the hug even if he was still tense. He buried his face in my chest, but I could still see his frown. I felt like we still had a lot to talk about, especially after this morning's outburst, but I couldn't force myself to say anything. Actually, I couldn't figure out what to say at all. I had no clue how to handle this situation or what was even going on.

Like, last night he'd been so angry with me. It was terrifying, like something straight out of my nightmares. I'd never seen him that angry before, and it made me think he honestly hated me. It felt like everything was falling apart as he threw the awful truth back in my face. I'd abandoned him when he was a kid, treated him like shit as he got older. Ignored him…left him alone…It sucked hearing things I already knew.

But then he'd been so confident and forgiving. The moment he realized what was really going on, his demeanor changed. He was kind and soft again, like I remembered him being when I was upset. He acted like telling me everything would be okay came just as easily as telling me that my nightmares weren't real. And it had been wonderful and freeing after I got to see him smile again. Getting to hold him like I'd wanted to for so long was wonderful.

Now…now he was back to being his old self: scared, insecure, and self-conscious.

I looked down at Nico and realized just how fragile he was. I'd gotten so used to the Nico from a few months ago, back when he was healthier. Looking back on it, I could see know how cute he'd been then. He'd filled out a bit, cut his hair to a reasonable length, and his skin had evened out to a good kind of pale. It felt odd calling a guy beautiful, but that was the only word I could think of that fit.

But now he was back to being skinny and pallid. I'd been given the chance to take in every slightly scary detail of how he'd changed over the past few months when he shed his jacket (a bit uncertainly) last night. As we lay down together, I rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt to see for myself. Some of the scars were more familiar, like the vertical claw marks from Lycaon on his forearms. But there were so many more that he seemed to have collected over the past few months. His pale skin was littered with mottled bruises, half-healed burns, and scrapes. He didn't look me in the eyes as I trailed my fingers across his skin, just stared off blankly. It made me wonder what he'd spent the last months doing. It made me worry. But we didn't talk about it. I didn't have the heart to ask, and he didn't tell.

I didn't know what to do. He'd put me back together before, but I felt like I had comparatively little experience on the subject. He needed rest and care and patience. I just hoped I could help him. I hoped whatever I could provide would be enough.

Suddenly, Nico disentangled himself from me without a word and got up, walking towards the dresser on the other side of the room. He grabbed a change of clothes and turned around, very aware of my eyes on him. He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"We should, uh, probably get moving," he began, fiddling with the hem of the clean shirt. There was a hint of sadness in his voice, and the corners of his mouth were still tugged downward.

"Yeah…I guess we should," I said, disappointed frown already forming on my own face. I really, really didn't want to leave him.

I knew the second we left the confines of the dark cabin, we would have to separate. There were prying eyes all over. Naiads and spirits melted in and out of their natural forms, changing shape at will, so you never knew who had their eyes on you. It made sneaking around pretty difficult, and some of them were even known to spread gossip to the Aphrodite campers. And gods forbid a camper saw us. They would often roam the woods, jogging or hunting monsters for practice. There was nowhere safe except for our cabins.

We couldn't be a couple out there, and that thought alone made me sad. I couldn't hug him or be too close to him no matter how much he looked like he needed it. Hades, I probably shouldn't even talk to him. Even if people might brush it off as just friendship, I couldn't risk it for Nico's sake. He was already unstable enough, I knew he couldn't take being outed like that. He needed to go at his own pace, so PDA was totally and completely out of the question. Even a rumor would be too much for him at this point.

My sudden departure from camp was probably enough to dispel the rumors Piper had told me about all those months ago. New rumors had probably cycled through in the time that we'd been away, so I wasn't too worried about it. If we could just stay separate, nobody would have to know that something was going on.

But we still had a little time to be together. I threw my legs over the side of his bed and slipped into my abandoned sneakers. I crossed to the door in a few quick strides. As I did, Nico abandoned his change of clothes on the dresser top and padded quietly to my side.

I eyed him sadly once more. "You sure you're alright?" I asked, worriedly.

"Yeah…yeah, I think I'll be okay," he exhaled deeply, looking up at me. His face seemed calmer, his emotions far more controlled than they had been before. He'd looked no sadder or more troubled than he did on any normal day, which was an accomplishment. He wouldn't attract any unwanted attention this way.

"And…did you think about what I said earlier? About, y'know, telling someone about…this, " I asked awkwardly, dreading this answer even more. I didn't want to set him off again, but I also needed to know for my own reasons. I wanted desperately to talk to Annabeth about last night. I wanted advice and help and, honestly, I wanted to be able to talk about how happy I was (or had the potential to be). But there was no way I would talk to her without his permission, especially if he wasn't ready for anyone to know yet.

"I was going to talk to, uh, Jason," he remarked thoughtfully, running his fingers through his hair nervously.

My brow furrowed. I couldn't begin to understand why he would go to Jason about something this important. I'd never known them to be super close friends, at least no closer than I was to him. Sure, Jason always seemed a bit overprotective of Nico, but I'd never noticed anything more. They certainly didn't seem close enough for him to know about Nico's sexuality, and there was no real reason I could think of for him to be the first person to learn about it.

"It's a long story," he chuckled at the confused look on my face. "But to make it quick, he already know's that I like you. It was hardly my choice to tell him in the first place, but…well, now it might be nice to have him around."

"Okay, that's cool, I guess. I was maybe going to try to talk to Annabeth today. I mean, I talked to her last night and kinda vented out my feelings, so I thought I should let her know how this went," I said, hoping for a positive reaction. I didn't really care if Jason knew about our relationship. He seemed like a cool guy, and I knew he must care about Nico at least a little since he never shared the secret. I was confident he wouldn't blab my secret either. But I didn't know how Nico would feel about Annabeth knowing, especially since she was technically my ex (even though she was still my best friend).

A strained look passed over his face, but he quickly hid it again. On one hand, the concept of someone other than Jason and myself knowing about his sexuality probably sent him into instant panic mode. But on the other hand, he knew Annabeth was a grounded person who was way above gossip or letting secrets loose. She was someone that cared about me deeply, and would therefore care about Nico deeply by extension.

I knew this was going to be difficult choice for him. He had to know that he had to let go of his secret at some point, and he had to know that talking to Annabeth would make me happier. He had to push away the anxiety of this whole situation and realize that people were going to find out eventually. At least this way he wasn't the one to break the news. He didn't even have to be there for it.

After a long pause, he nodded his head in affirmation. I couldn't help but smile a little. That was definitely a milestone in my book.

"I'll see you at breakfast?" I asked hopefully.

My suggestion garnered only a shrug from Nico. I knew he probably wouldn't show up, and even if he did, it would probably be at the very end. There were too many people, and I doubt he had much of an appetite anyway. He probably wanted time to think too, formulate what he was going to say to Jason. I was willing to accept a lateness or a no show at breakfast if it meant he was going to talk to Jason.

"But we'll talk a little later though, right? Because I really should be home before, like, dinner or my mom will worry."

"Yeah," he nodded, swallowing hard, "Um, I guess I'll meet you in your cabin around five?"

I nodded, unsure of what else to say. I couldn't think of anything that would actually make him feel better, and saying goodbye just didn't seem right. Instead, I pulled him into a quick hug and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before walking out the door, which was shut quickly behind me. I didn't have time to look back.

I took care in making sure that nobody was watching. I couldn't see anyone, and I didn't hear anything either. I was greeted to the unusual silence of camp and weak winter sunlight. I jogged quietly across the half dead lawn to my cabin and slipped in. I changed clothes quickly, thankful that I'd left a few sets of clothes behind in my haste to go home.

I caught a look at myself in the mirror, and couldn't help but smile. Yesterday, I'd felt like I was at rock bottom. I was scared and miserable and alone. I'd felt like I had nobody to turn to, nobody to talk to about the secret that had been eating me from the inside out. But now, I wasn't alone. I had Annabeth to talk to, I had someone to share my secrets with. And I had Nico. I finally had him after all these months of wishing that I'd get to feel everything I'd felt last night. I knew things were going to be difficult to start with, I wasn't that stupid. There would be plenty of people who hated me for who I loved. I knew Nico would be a bit off for a while, and I knew telling Hazel would be hell for him. I knew I was going to be miserable and lonely sometimes, and I knew things won't be normal for quite a while.

But there was the promise that things would get better.

Every time I felt angry or frustrated or sad or alone, I just had to remember that. I had to remember New Years Eve. I had to remember the hushed whispers and the feelings of his lips on mine, the warmth of his smaller body, the happiness of those hours together. The feeling of waking up with him in my arms, and the promise of many more mornings like that.

I just had to remember that it gets better.

It always does.

Next up: Nico talks to Jason

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