Hahaha...sorry this took forever to post :( I just haven't been in the mood to right as of late (especially writing romance...)

But I hope you enjoy. Please review if you enjoy, it would mean a lot to get some honest feedback.

Nico's POV

I crossed the lawn quickly, change of clothes clutched to my chest. There was no campers in sight, but still, I half ran to the showers. I did so partly because of the cold, and partly because I really, really hated the camp showers.

There was something about communal showers that just bothered me. If there was one thing I knew plenty about at camp, it was this. When I was in my phase of traveling between the two camps and the Underworld. never really staying in the same place for too long, I would sometimes stop around for a shower and a hot meal before heading off again. Sure, I had a private bathroom in my father's palace, but sometimes I just didn't want to have to deal with him.

I don't even know why they bothered me so much. It's not like they were those old-school open showers you'd see go unused in high school locker rooms. There were separate stalls with separate shower curtains. so it's not as though anyone could see you.

In the summer, when camp was in full swing, cabins were assigned slots on a schedule. I knew I would never have to worry about showering in the summer, because I would be guaranteed a lone bathroom. But in the winter? There were so few people at camp that everyone just kind of showered when they pleased.

I was lucky there was nobody there when I arrived. The air was heavy and humid, the mirrors still slightly steamy. I sighed in relief, I was probably late enough that the campers had just left for breakfast. I tossed my new set of clothes in one of the dilapidated lockers. Slowly, I undressed until I was down to my boxers and turned on the shower. I knew it would take a while for the water to get hot enough, so I turned around. But I caught a glimpse of mirror as I turned.

I walked closer for a better look, immediately regretting my choice. I couldn't remember the last time I'd looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked terrible. My face was gaunt and white. My eyes sank into the deeply ingrained dark circles, thought they were already obscured enough by inky black bangs. My lips were a thin line, pulled involuntarily into a frown. Gods, I looked like a skull. And looking down, my body wasn't that far from being a skeleton. Just white and boney, but with the addition of scars. In particular, I frowned at the mess of scars that criss-crossed my stomach and ribs. I didn't like to remember where they came from, or the events surrounding them. It still hurt, even now.

But my first thought upon seeing myself wasn't the usual disgust, though that wasn't far behind.

No, my first thought was a question I couldn't answer. Why in the Hades did Percy even like me?

Annabeth was gorgeous, even I could see that. Glowing skin, beautiful eyes, perfect hair. But even if you ignored looks, she was still better than me. She could be a bit preoccupied at times, but she was a nice person. She was kind when she wanted to be. She made him laugh and humored him when he was being silly. She was absolutely nothing like me. Why would he ever leave her for someone like me?

I shook my head and turned around, tearing my eyes away from the mirror. I couldn't think like that right now, not when someone could barge in at any moment and see me staring at myself.

I undressed fully and stepped under the stream of water, not bothering to check the temperature.

It burned, but I didn't care.

At least it was a distraction.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find a distraction, anything to keep me from thinking about Percy and being miserable again. But nothing seemed to be working.

I stayed in my cabin for a long time, even though there was nothing to do there. The few books I owned were shoved in a duffle bag in the corner of my room in the Underworld. I didn't have the energy to shadow travel down there, even though I'd gotten the best night's sleep I'd had in a long time. I ended up lying in bed, apathetically staring at the dark ceiling. I couldn't help but think that the bed had held two people only a few hours ago.

No, no. I couldn't think about this. If I did, I would spiral into a vortex of self-hatred and confusion and doubt. Questions without answers would run through my mind. Why did Percy even like me? How was I ever going to be a good boyfriend (and why did that word still make me sick)? Why couldn't I bring myself to tell anyone about this? Why was it all so confusing? And the million drachma questions, why wasn't I happy yet?

Eventually, I decided to take a walk in the woods, hoping it would clear my mind. I clipped my sword to my belt knowing it would be stupid to go near the words without it. Maybe a monster would attack me if I was lucky, I thought bitterly.

When I walked out the doors of my cabin, the sun was high in the sky, peeking through a film of gray clouds. A handful of campers milled around. but I focused on

Instead of thinking about Percy, I concentrated on the sounds and sights around me as I wandered the worn trails. The crunch of brittle grass and old leaves under my feet proved the only sound, save the occasional monster howl, until I heard the twang of bowstrings. A few blonde heads (belonging to a group of Apollo archers gathered in a clearing) popped up and looked over in my direction. I recognized Will in the crowd, who awkwardly raised his hand in a wave. I was a horrid archer, so I didn't join.

I came across the lake at one point. When the summer session was in full swing, the rocky shores and waters were dotted with couples and groups of friends. Normally, I would have hated it and avoided it. There were too many people (and bad memories, for that matter). But now it just reminded me of lazy summer afternoons canoeing with Percy, and just enjoying ourselves. That was all back when everything was simple, when we weren't tangled up like this, when I knew how to feel…

I shook my head again.

This time of year it should be abandoned. But it wasn't.

Two figures sat crossed legged on the wooden dock, an old blanket underneath them. One was girl with long, blonde curls, the other a boy with wavy black hair. I couldn't tell what they were saying from here, but they looked like they were having a good time.

Crap.

I began backing away slowly as I watched them laugh together, Annabeth punching Percy playful on the arm.

I couldn't do this. If Percy turned around and saw me, he would inevitably drag me into the conversation, regardless of whether or not I wanted to be in it. Even though I'd let him talk to Annabeth, I didn't want to talk to her myself. She'd been mad enough at me when she only thought I was stealing Percy away from her in the most innocent and nonromantic way possible. Now she knew what was really going on.

If I was going to talk to her, it was going to be on my own terms. Although, I didn't imagine having that conversation any time soon. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it.

I slowly walked along the trail, making sure I didn't step on anything that would make too much noise. Once the lake was far behind me, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I continued my walk, now trying to keep thoughts of Annabeth out of my mind, which was already generating nightmare situations about conversations with Annabeth. In the best case scenario, she just gave me the cold shoulder. In the worst case scenario, I ended up with her knife at my neck.

I stumbled upon the arena next, and decided that it was probably my best bet for getting rid of these thoughts. The arena had never been the worst place for me. Most of the people were too preoccupied with training to make conversation, and I could always practice there no questions asked. Over the summer, some people had even been excited to test their strength against mine.

I walked through the arch to a see handful of people in the middle of a training session. Some sat on the stone benched sidelines, drinking water with their helms at their feet. Others dueled in full armor, filling the large space with the echo of metal on metal.

I took my place in front of the straw dummies, trying to get into the swing of dueling with a person. While I'd done more than enough fighting over the past few months, I wasn't used to dueling other people.

I took a deep breath and unclipped my sword, familiar words already echoing in my head. Keep your stance wide, keep your body lowered. Balance. Right foot, left foot. Now faster, faster.

I lost myself in the movements, grateful that those thoughts now occupied my mind in place of misery. When I was satisfied with the pile of eviscerated straw people at my feet, I stalked over to the group of campers on the bench. I grabbed a spare breastplate and helm from a pile. Ready, I leaned back against the stone wall, eyes quickly taking in all the strange looks I was getting. Some of the younger campers had been watching me duel the straw dummies with equal parts horror and awe on their face. They seemed to respect my skill, but knew it was best not to mess with me.

Eventually, a tall, burly guy, a son of Ares I think, pointed at me and jerked his thumb, calling me to duel. I donned my helm and lost myself in the movements once more.

I didn't stop dueling until I ran out of opponents and the arena deserted for dinner. When I stopped, the sun was low in the orange tinged sky. I was left with a pile of armor dented, supposedly tough campers with wounded pride, and a really sore shoulder. I rubbed the sore muscle as I piled my armor, actually managed to chuckle to myself while remembering the looks on this idiots face when they were bested by "that scrawny little Hades kid".

"Hey! Heard you had a great time bashing some Ares kids today," called a triumphant voice I instantly recognized. My stomach dropped.

I turned my head to see the son of Jupiter walking in my direction, smirk on his face. In all my haste, I'd forgotten my promise to Percy. There was no way I could get away with not talking to Jason, and I had to do it right now. Everyone was already on there way to dinner, and I was supposed to meet Percy in his cabin right after. I couldn't start disappointing him already…

He came over and clapped me playfully on my bad shoulder (though not on purpose). "Y-yeah, they never saw it coming," I said through gritted teeth.

"Is your shoulder giving you trouble?" he asked, eyebrows raised worriedly after seeing my reaction. "Because y'know you can always go see Will. He'll fix you right up."

"It's fine," I grumbled under my breath. "It's not even that bad and I'm used to it by now. No need to bother him."

He proceeded to eye me suspiciously. "Well, dinner is about to start. You ready?"

Here it goes. If I was going to talk to him, it had to be now.

"Wait. I need to, um, talk to you about something…important. I talked to Percy last night, and well…"

"Seriously?" he rambled, interrupting me. "Did he hurt you? I swear if he said something stupid I'm going to actually kill him. I thought I made the point abundantly clear!"

My panic rose once more. Jason looked really pissed off for some reason. "No, no! It was nothing like that. He um, well…the thing is…h-he likes me Jason. Like…really, really likes me…"

Jason stared at me dumbfounded for a moment, obviously trying to process what he just heard. Percy was, at the very least, bi and had never told anyone about it.

After a few seconds, his face lit up with a huge grin. He grabbed me in a tight hug despite my propensity for punching people that touched me. I don't remember the last time I'd seen him this excited.

"This is amazing! Gods, I never would have expected that he swung that way, but that's not important now. This is still so great though. I mean, I always secretly thought he would be okay with it if you ever told him, but I never expected this," he rambled excitedly.

"Put. Me. Down," I enunciated slowly. "And please quiet down. I don't exactly want the whole camp to know."

He dropped me and backed away, hands held up in surrender. "Sorry, dude," he said, grinning, "but seriously, how happy are you? I know you've wanted this for the longest time, and now it's finally happening!"

"Yeah, I'm really happy," I responded, wearing a forced grin. There goes the conversation I'd intended to have. Jason seemed so happy that I wasn't about to bum him out by unloading all my problems on him. He didn't need to know I was questioning the whole thing.

We headed off to the pavilion for dinner, Jason still grinning like a moron. Hopefully people didn't get the wrong idea.

I grabbed my food quickly, scraping a small portion off to my dad (as usual) and shooting a hopeful little prayer up to Aphrodite. Maybe she would help me figure something out for once instead of bringing me pain.

I chose an empty table in the back corner seeing as the campers were no longer forced to sit with their siblings. I was hoping nobody would sit there, but Jason followed quickly behind me. This seemed to be the cue everyone needed, and soon enough I was sitting with Piper, Leo, and Will too. After a few minutes, Annabeth and Percy joined as well. We locked eyes for a split second, but I looked down and focused on my plate. At least I didn't look out of place sitting in my own little bubble at the edge of the bench.

I didn't pay attention to the conversation very much. I caught little bits, like Will complimenting Leo on the fireworks display and Piper teasingly flirting with Jason, but I chose not to participate. I resisted all urges to look over at Percy. I just ignored him, like I used to back when things were still bad between us.

When dinner was over, I walked to my cabin, my eyes on Percy's back. When he reached his cabin and opened the door, I stepped into my own and made a beeline for the corner. There was no way I was going to walk into Percy's cabin nonchalantly with all the campers around, so I gathered up some shadows and stepped into the rift.

I landed easily, and with negligible exhaustion, in Cabin 3. A grinning Percy immediately appeared in my field of vision.

"Hey babe," he greeted me playfully, pulling me into a hug.

"Are we already going for pet names?" I asked, trying to wiggle out of the hug. "And stop it, I'm all gross from sparring."

"Aww…c'mon," he mock pouted, probably at both my rejection of the pet name and the hug. I had to chuckle a little at the look on his face though, now that we were alone.

"Later. So, um, how was your day?"

I already knew the answer. From what I saw, he had a pretty good one.

"Oh, it was pretty good. I hung out with Annabeth mostly, just talked to her about everything I've missed over the past few months, and well, about this too. She's happy for us, by the way," he said, gesturing between us.

"That's good. Jason seemed to feel the same way. He had the audacity to hug me," I scoffed.

"Well, only I get to do that now," he proclaimed triumphantly. "Well, me and Hazel, I suppose," he added as an afterthought.

I nodded, letting myself smile a little. "You should be getting home. I could just shadow travel you there, save you the traffic and having to get Argus."

I knew he didn't need to go home right now. If I wanted to talk about my doubts, all I had to do was ask him to stay a little longer. We could've talked through it in the privacy of his cabin. But I didn't want to do that. Like Jason, he just seemed so happy, all grins and hugs. I couldn't burden him with that again, make him unhappy. He'd been sad enough over the past few months.

"That'd be great. Just drop me on the fire escape?"

"Sure thing," I replied, grabbing his hand and leading him to the darkest corner.

We made the jump pretty easily, since it wasn't too far a distance. We got to the fire escape all right, but I had to shot my hand out to grab the railing once we got there. All the sparring had taken a toll on my energy levels.

"You okay? Do you need to stay here for a little and rest?" he asked worriedly, already moving to hold me up despite the cramped fire escape setting.

"I'm fine. I can make it back to camp and just fall asleep. But maybe I'll stick around next time," I assured him, pulling away a little bit.

"Alright then. And y'know, nobody's around…" he suggested, raising an eyebrow.

I looked around and realized all the blinds and curtains in the vicinity were closed. I nodded and we proceeded to share a short but passionate goodbye kiss. I wished the moment, where we were both blessedly alone, could last just a little longer.

After promising we would see each other next weekend, Percy carefully opened his window and stepped inside, smiling at me one last time.

With the waning twilight, I gathered a fractured bit of shadow and got myself back to my cabin, where I fell straight into bed.

I didn't have time to think about all my problems or everything I was hiding from the important people in my life.

Those weren't problems for now. They were for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day…

And this is now the second time I got myself 60,000+ words deep into a fan fiction that I can't look back on without hating :l

So feedback please? I feel bad for asking, but I kinda need it at this point...