Am I on a roll or what?

Anyways, hope you enjoy this feels ridden chapter and leave a review if you enjoy!

It was such a simple request that it really shouldn't have been an issue.

Be honest.

That was it. All I had to do was tell the truth and be myself in front of everybody that cared to notice. I'd already managed to do just that to a select few people, so why was this last jump such a challenge?

I knew I was being irrational. I could have been in a much worse situation.

It's not like my mother was around anymore. Telling her would have been unthinkable. But she was gone, long gone, and I didn't have to worry about her. It's not like my father gave a damn about it either. He would be more annoyed that I was dating Percy, of all people.

Sally and Paul would be totally fine with our relationship. It wasn't even worth worrying about. There was no way Sally would reject her only son after almost losing him so many times. The couple would embrace our relationship wholeheartedly, and I would be immediately morphed into their little family unit. We would spend holidays together. They would have me over for dinner. I would pick Percy up for dates and hang out on the weekends. It would be normal, like I was just another girlfriend.

And Percy was right about our friends too. Jason was already fine with me, more than fine really. He was so happy for us. Piper would follow suit. She was a daughter of Aphrodite after all, she was accepting of all kinds of love. Leo would be okay, he never seemed to care about this kind of thing. I should be more worried about the inappropriate jokes he'd surely make once he found out. Frank wouldn't care, he'd been one of the first Romans to be comfortable around me. Reyna was a just person, above prejudice. And Will was already considered himself a friend of mine, however begrudgingly.

Most people would be just fine when everything came out. They wouldn't care what we did together. Percy was their hero, the ultimate symbol of the power and courage that dwelled inside each of them. They wouldn't abandon him over something as pointless as who he loved. Those that did could be ignored.

I shouldn't be freaking out so much. There were so many people that were willing to embrace us and so much good waiting for us if we could just be honest.

I was still so scared of Hazel's reaction.

I couldn't lose her. The thought was unimaginable.

Sure, I had Percy now. I had friends. I had a family. Percy had given me an entire speech about that, how family didn't have to be defined by blood or parentage. The Seven were my family. Reyna and Will were my family. Percy's family was now my family, by default.

It made me feel good, realizing I had a family after such a long time being alone.

But Hazel was the only real family I had left.

She was the only one that really understood what it was like to feel out of place, to feel like you were going to be rejected for something you had absolutely no control over.

She knew what it was like to be from the past. I'd since gotten over it, but reintroducing myself to the mortal world had been…troubling. The lights in Times Square were too bright and colorful. Smart phones were confusing in concept alone, and I'd never even had to use one. I'd come to appreciate modern music, but in the beginning, I'd longed for the old tunes of my childhood. It all just felt…wrong.

I wasn't as bad as Hazel though. I only remembered hazy snippets of my life in Italy, where as she remembered her life in New Orleans and Alaska with disturbing clarity.

My technophobia wasn't the only thing old-fashioned about me. Probably both of us.

I still held on to my values, even when they destroyed me. I had trouble accepting my sexuality because I'd been taught (and shown) time and time again that it was wrong, shameful, and disgusting. Sinful, really. How was I to know that Hazel hadn't been raised with the exact same values?

And even more importantly, we were both children of the Underworld. We understood that innate fear upon meeting other demigods that we would be rejected outright because of the universal fear people had for our father's domains. We were defined by our father, and our parentage made the first impression for us.

We were bad luck.

In Hazel's case, that first impression was rather short lived. Once she proved herself to the Romans, she wasn't such bad luck. Her personality helped with that too. She was bright and sweet and innocent. In my case…not so much. For me, first impressions stuck because I never worked very hard to correct them. I allowed myself to be defined by what others thought of me, and by my father's domain.

I wasn't going to let that happen anymore.

I couldn't be scared of other people anymore, or what they thought of me. I couldn't live my life that way I was now. It wasn't good for anyone, much less myself.

I had to be honest. I had to put all my cards on the table, knowing that I faced the end of a meaningful relationship with my sister.

I had to change if I ever wanted to move ahead.

So the weekend following my confrontation with Percy, I found myself in New Rome once more, wrapped in my worn aviator's jacket.

I'd IM'd Hazel earlier in the week, asking her if we could meet at Pluto's shrine, which she seemed to find odd seeing as it was winter. I could have just as easily asked her to meet me at a café in New Rome where we could warm up and drink some coffee, maybe grab lunch. I wanted to meet her somewhere private though. I wasn't about to take this step in a public place, especially when it could end badly.

I sat on the roof under the winter sun, looking up at the gray, cloudless sky and across the (usually) gorgeous valley spread in front of me. The Fields of Mars seemed bare of activity, but from my vantage point I could see the hubs of New Rome and the barracks. Distracted by thoughts, my fingers danced across the the hard bones and gems embedded in the roof. My mind drifted to the heart to heart talks Hazel and I had here, back when I was still trying to settle her into her new life.

I knew she thought of herself as a consolation prize back then. Once I found out the Doors were opened, I'd made my journey in the hopes of finding Bianca. I wanted her back so desperately that I was willing to disobey my father (and the laws of nature) in order to make that happen. But I chose Hazel instead because she was my only option.

I know it was hard for Hazel to realize that she wasn't my first choice. I didn't think it helped that I never wanted to talk about Bianca. She would never be Bianca, but I still loved her.

I hoped that by this point Hazel understood how much she meant to me. She was amazing and wonderful. She cared about me when I gave her little reason to, and loved me even when I pushed people away. For a while, she was the only person who could make me smile (if only a little bit). I could only hope that it would make a difference.

I spotted her coming up the hill, bundled up in a puffy coat and a knit hat. When she saw me, legs dangling from the edge of the roof, she started jogging closer, her face presumably split into a smile. She climbed up to join me, eventually placing herself next to me. Her hat, now clearly resembling a panda , askew and her cheeks slightly red.

"Cute hat," I joked, willing my face into a wan smile. I willed my voice to stay calm and willed the bones to stop quivering at my nervousness. I had to do this, I kept reminding myself. For Percy, for myself, and for both ours sanities.

"Yeah," she beamed, toying with the white yarn bauble as she swung her legs. "Frank gave it to be for Christmas. Isn't that sweet?"

"Everything going well between you guys, I take it?"

"Uh-huh. He's been a bit busy with the whole praetor thing, but we can usually squeeze in some time for just the two of us," she affirmed. I was honestly happy for her. But this was probably the first time I wasn't a tiny bit jealous of what she had with Frank.

We sat in silence for a few beats, enjoying the landscape and feeling of winter sun on our skin.

"So…how are things going for you?" she asked, breaking the silence.

I brought my hands out of my pockets, wringing them together. Now or never.

"I just wanted to talk to you in…in private," I began, voice already starting to betray my goals.

Worry hadn't been the least bit evident in Hazel's face until this point. She'd took any chance she could get to see me, and probably assumed this strange meeting spot was chosen out of nostalgia. But now her gold eyes were wide and shining, the corner of her bottom lip tugged between her teeth. She looked over at me, expecting me to go on.

I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself as best I could. I reminded myself that this needed to happen now.

"There's, um, something that I-I've been keeping from you, something really, really important. I've only told a few people…and…and I've never told you because I've been so scared you would take it badly. You mean s-so much to me. Just…just please remember that I love you, so much," I whispered, swallowing hard, ignoring the burning behind my eyes. If there had been any wind, any outside noise, she probably wouldn't have been able to hear me.

I looked over a her one last time moving to stare steelily across the fields. She gave me a reassuring, if reproachful, smile. She placed her hand on my denim clad knee.

Courage.

"I'm….I-I mean….I like…guys," I breathed out. I closed my eyes tight, trying to focus on my breathing. Trying not to break down. Trying not to look as her face surely twisted in disgust.

Silence. I felt her hand slip off my knee.

"I-I've liked guys since I was a kid. I mean…I've n-never been interested in anything e-else and….and f-for a really long t-t-time I liked, um, Percy. For, like, years. A-and I thought he'd never feel the same way…b-but it turns out h-he does and w-we've been, um, involved for the past month or so. I-I just knew you were going to find out at some point…I just w-wanted to be the one to tell you…"

Silence still.

I cracked open my eyes and let my gaze drift over to Hazel.

The look on her face was…unreadable. It was somewhere between sadness, revulsion, and confusion. She was significantly redder than before, and her face had lost the giddy glow it had held when she talked about Frank. She stared off into space, blinking and opening her mouth a little. She wouldn't look at me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, voice cracking. "I'm so, so sorry. B-but I had to tell you…I-I couldn't keep lying about…about who I am. Just…please don't hate me…p-please…"

I don't know how much time it took for Hazel to move, but eventually she tore the hat from her head, balling it up in her hands. She blinked a few times.

"I-I need to…go," she blurted out before jumping down to the ground.

"Wait! H-Hazel, I j-just," I choked out, desperate. But by then, she was gone, already jogging away.

I watched her go, finally allowing the stubborn tears to drip slowly down my cheeks.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

Hazel hated me. She was disgusted by me, by something I didn't chose for myself, by something I couldn't change no matter the amount of heartbreak it caused me.

I'd lost another sister. My last sister.

I tried and failed to stop the panic from rising in my chest.

I'd done it now. I was so fucked up that not even Hazel could accept me.

I jumped down from the roof expecting to stick the landing, but instead falling forward hand on weak knees. The rough dirt and gravel scraped against my palms and the skin exposed by the rips in my jeans. I knelt on my stinging hands and bruised knees for what felt like an eternity, trying to control my breathing. I sat up and pushed myself against the stone walls of the shrine, letting my head drop between my knees.

I didn't move until it became obvious that my breathing wasn't going to get better no matter how hard I tried.

I knew what I needed. Or rather, who.

I got up and stumbled towards a pocket of shadows, hugging my arms around myself.

Conjuring the shadows, I made a jump to the only place I could think of. The only place I wanted to be at this moment in time.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was collapsed on my knees in front of Percy's bedroom window, green metal grating digging into my skin.

Don't hate me too much O_o

Attention! I've been considered starting a one shot challenge for Percy/Nico once this story is over. If you'd be interested in seeing more, please let me know!