Hey there, everyone! New chapter time, as promised. And it's one that I like quite a bit actually, so that's a plus. On the not so great side, progress on the next chapter (after part two of the previous one) has been kinda slow, even by my (admittedly pretty slow) standards, but I'm hopeful it'll pick up a bit. The games I got from the Steam Summer Sale didn't help at all on that front.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! And thanks to everyone for reading, especially those of you who review, favorite, and follow! It's always nice to be reminded that I'm actually writing for an audience here, which continues to be both astounding and grin-inducing every time I think of it. And feel free to PM/review with questions, if you have any. Oh, and just a heads-up in case any of you wonder - I removed that extra chapter that was just sitting there doing nothing. I might continue that idea later, but at this point it's just kind of jarring. Maybe when I finish this I'll work on that extra chapter idea a bit more, or at least explain what I was going to do with it. I (hopefully) fixed the chapter numbers with it, just to make things look a bit more tidy.
And now, on with the show!
Gray Mann was beginning to wonder how long it would take his robots to do one simple job when a fast-approaching clanking noise alerted him to the imminent arrival of a Scoutbot. Swiveling his chair, he found himself staring at exactly the right place when the robot rounded the corner to his office. He allowed himself a small smirk. "Sir, we have located a wizard, as ordered," it said.
"Oh good, I was beginning to think you were all useless defectives," he replied.
"W-we are sorry for the delay sir," the Scoutbot said. "We shall head for the castle immediately," it said, and began running towards the transport plane.
"Wait, you blasted machine!" Gray yelled after it, causing it to come to an abrupt halt. "I am coming with you on this. It's too delicate an operation to be ruined by your inept bungling."
"Yes, sir," the Scoutbot said, saluting.
Gray Mann soon found himself on a plane heading for some old castle in a European backwater. The course was automatically determined by the computer system, which also handled the actual flying, so he had plenty of time to think. Assuming that this wizard he was heading to could actually find a way into the barrier between realities, he would need to be sure that his robots weren't going to be affected by the same strange magic that had affected the Spybot that was already there. It seemed to be altering the unit's basic programming somehow, altering them to become less under his command. That was no good; robots that wouldn't follow orders were no better than regular, flawed humans. If the wizard couldn't think of a way to shield his robots from magic, he'd have to find a way to make the programming go back to normal if anything started to change. Perhaps if he could create an external detection mechanism to see when and how the robot's programming changed, then have it revert the code to it's previous state, he'd be able to keep the robots from being corrupted. That was a possibility worth looking into. He began to design schematics for such a machine in his head, blissfully unbothered by the numerous robots on board the ship, which were all in sleep mode, save the ones needed for possible emergency maintenance.
Eventually, just after Gray had finished describing to one of the engineer bots back at the base his schematics for the remote reverter machine, as he was mentally calling it, the plane announced that they were landing, and Gray strapped into his seat as the plane gently nosed down to the ground, landing in the clearing in front of the castle the wizard supposedly lived in. Glancing out of the plane's windows, Gray saw that the way to the front gate was, in fact, a thin winding path with sheer drops on both sides. "Lovely," he said, rolling his eyes.
"Is it?" said a Scout bot that had awoken from sleep mode early. "Looks kinda crappy to me."
"That was sarcasm, you moron," Gray said.
"Oh," the Scout bot said, nodding. One of these days he was going to have to try and program some understanding of sarcasm into these things. It might make them a touch more bearable.
After the plane landed (with an "I hope you had a wonderful flight, maker"), Gray stepped out onto the cliff in front of the path to the castle. He waited for the rest of his robots to leave the ship, and then had them all gather around him. "You two," he said, pointing to a Soldier bot and a Scout bot, "are coming with me. Soldier bot, you're in charge of keeping him under control, but if he escapes, you, Scout bot, are to capture him again, clear?" Both bots nodded. "Good. The rest of you," he said, turning to the assembled mass of robots, "are going to cross after us and wait in the entrance hall for if I need you." The assembled bots nodded, causing a few clanging sounds to ring out as metal heads collided with metal heads. Gray pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. Shaking his head, he began walking across the pathway, the Scout bot and Soldier bot following behind him. With a couple close calls, they made it to the large, wooden front doors of the castle. Gray waved a hand at the Soldier bot, who charged at the door. The door swung open as the Soldier bot approached it, causing it to run straight into the foyer and run into the door on the other side. Gray entered afterwards, followed by the Scout bot.
"Room secured, sir!" the Soldier bot said.
"Yes, I can see that," Gray said, looking around. The foyer was exactly as one would expect an old castle's foyer to be: large, but in complete disrepair. Cobwebs covered most of the upper surfaces, and an enormous chandelier, though it had presumably once been silver, had tarnished to the point that it was completely dull. Stone stairs, with a couple of steps missing, led up to a wooden door, and hallways snaked out to the left and right. There was a strange podium in the center of the room, upon which sat a surprisingly untarnished bell, which somehow managed to gleam despite there being very little light in the room.
Gray sighed. He'd had some vague hope that the wizard would just be waiting for them in the entranceway, and while the bell was obviously some form of magic, it was most likely a trap rather than some sort of welcoming device. "Ok, start searching for the wizard. Scoutbot, you go that way," he said, pointing to the hallway to his left, "and Soldierbot, you got that way," he said, pointing to the hallway to his right. They both saluted and ran off down their respective hallways. Gray, meanwhile, walked over to the stairs and slowly began to try and climb them. With great effort, he managed to shuffle his way up to the top of them, and stood in front of the door, panting. "This better have been worth it," he said to himself, grasping the doorknob and pushing the door inward.
Gray entered the room and frowned, seeing no wizard within. Instead, he saw that the room was taken up with a massive series of tables, vials, and glass tubes, stretching all the way to the ceiling. Looking more closely at it, he could see that some of the vials seemed to collapse in on themselves, while others seemed to stretch all the way to the ceiling, but when he next looked, were the size of a thimble. Certain vials seemed to always be boiling away whatever liquid was inside them, while others seemed to be freezing whatever flowed into them. Looking at the shelves on the side of the room, he could see various bottles with labels like "toad bile," or "eye of salamander (better than newt)" or "wing of bat (probably, anyway)." Gray, after making sure there weren't any other doors in the room, let out an annoyed grunt and left, slamming the door behind him. To his disappointment, he didn't hear any glass shatter, so he assumed the monstrous contraption was still standing. Shaking his head, he carefully climbed back down to the entranceway and waited for his robots to get back from scouting the area.
The Scoutbot arrived back first, as expected. "Well?" Gray asked.
The robot shook its head. "Nothing there, sir. Well, lots of things, but no wizard."
Gray sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't be that easy. Go help the Soldierbot search his side."
"Yes, maker," the robot said, saluting, and ran off after the Soldierbot.
Another half-hour later, the Soldierbot and Scoutbot both returned from the hallway. Gray, noticing the lack of a wizard, sighed. "Nothing there, either? This is the castle this wizard's supposed to live in, right?" Gray said.
"Yes, sir, we triple checked!" the Scoutbot said.
"Blasted wizards. All they're good for is hiding," Gray said, turning away from the robots. "We've had this castle watched since we learned about it. There's no way anything could have gotten out without us knowing. Did you two search every possible hiding spot?" he asked, turning back towards them, only to find the Soldierbot clasping the silver bell in his hand, while the Scoutbot looked on with interest. "Wait, don't ring that-" he said, but the Soldierbot had already started swinging the bell back and forth. Gray closed his eyes, waiting for the magical trap to spring. When nothing happened, he cracked his eyes open again to find that in the place of the podium, a bed had appeared, upon which lay a man whom Gray assumed was the wizard. He was dressed in a night robe, and had a sleeping cap on his head. As Gray watched, and the Soldierbot continued to ring the bell, the wizard began to stir.
"Izzit time to wake up already?" he murmured as he rubbed his eyes and sat up. He looked at a watch on his wrist and frowned. "It's still afternoon. Too soon." he mumbled, grabbing the bell. "You've woken me too soon. Blasted alarm clock spell," Then he noticed the mechanical hand gripping the top of the bell, and his eyes rose to see the face of the Soldierbot. His eyes widened, and he looked around to see the Scoutbot looking at him curiously, as well as the glare of Gray Mann. He quickly let go of the bell and did a quick spin, during which he took a box out of his pocket. "Who wished to wake the (mostly) wonderful wizard W-" he began, before Gray waved a hand and the Soldierbot clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Subject secured, sir!" the robot said.
"I have had a horrible half-day hunting your hide, you Harry Houdini hanger-on, so should I see some semblance of sullenness you'll see such an assembly of stars that-" Gray began, before pausing. "Why," he said, looking angrily at the wizard, "are all my adjectives, adverbs, et. al acting against all logical argument and aggregating all aural utterances alike?"
The wizard raised his hand, struggling against the clutches of the robot. Grey waved a hand irritably, and the robot let the wizard speak. "It's a truly terrific and terrifying trap that I thought up and tinkered together to thwart those that would try to take me," the wizard said, proudly.
"Alliteration aggravates my already aching ears," Gray said, irritably. "Cease causing conversational corruption or you'll likely lose lower limbs."
The wizard took a look at Gray's face and quickly nodded, looking at the small box he'd taken out of his pocket. "All right, all right. Alleviate alliteration already!" he said, and the box slowly dissolved into sand. "Ok, the spell's ended," he said, sadly. "And that took so many materials, too."
"Well, I have a job for you, and should you complete it, you'll never have to worry about materials again," Gray Mann said.
"Never? Not even toad bile? Because that stuff's super volatile, and I always have to wear the protective-" the wizard began, before Gray sighed, cutting him off.
"I mean affording the materials you utter buffoon," he said. Turning to the robot to his side, he asked, "Are you sure that this is the best wizard you could find?"
"Hey, I resent that! I got second place in the Impressive Spells Competition at last year's evil spirit magician conference with that alliteration box," the wizard said.
"Maybe I should just hire the person who got first, then. Who are they?" Gray asked.
The wizard sighed. "The same person who wins every year. Merasmus. That stupid book of his. It's not even hard for him to cast the stupid spells, but everyone's all 'Ooooh, look at all the explosions,' or 'Ooh that guy's head is a bomb, isn't that funny?' or 'Oh, what a clever young chap, he's got a bright future ahead of him.' Whereas I just get, 'Booo, bad box. Better be blown up before breakfast,' or 'Awfully annoying, ain't it?'"
"If they hated it so much, how'd you get second place?" Gray asked, curious despite himself.
"There were only three entries," the wizard said, shrugging.
"Then I'd hate to see what the third entry was," Gray said.
"Yeah, it was terrible," the wizard said. "I think. Honestly, I can't remember what it was. Maybe there were only two entries. But in any case, I was robbed of that first place! Does no one appreciate the difficulty in forcing people's minds to modify their words before they speak? I swear, the wizard community's gotten worse and worse since that explosion-loving dork showed up. Once, they actually cared about intricate spell-casting, about craftsmanship, but nowadays-"
Gray let the wizard drone on and on about his beliefs on the state of the wizard community, a smile forming on his face. This would be easier than he'd hoped.
"Well, Mr.-" he paused, trying to remember what the wizard's name was, before giving up. "Mr. Wizard. How would you like to get back at that Merasmus, who's one-upped you so often?"
"Hmm? How would I do that, then?" the wizard asked.
"Well, I've found out that Merasmus has, for some unknown reason, broken into a sealed off portion of reality," Gray said. "If we can follow him, I can - quite easily, with my army of robots – capture him. If you help me, I'll give you that book of his."
"What, you'd just give me the bombinomicon?" the wizard asked, raising an eyebrow.
"As you might have guessed from your rude awakening and the destruction of your alliteration box, I don't much care for magic," Gray said, scowling in disgust.
"Then what's in it for you?" the wizard asked.
"Merasmus has some other things that I would like. You get the book, I get the rest. Seem fair?" Gray asked.
The wizard stared off into space for a few seconds, thinking. "Are you quite certain that your robots will be up to handling Merasmus? Hell, will they even be up to passing to this other 'portion of reality', as you called it?" he asked.
"With regards to the second question, one already has. It's been sending me reports. Though I would appreciate it if you could find some way to protect them from magical effects, as the one that's gone through is acting a bit strange. As for handling Merasmus, they should have no trouble with that. They handled you, didn't they?" Gray said.
The wizard let out an annoyed grunt. "I could destroy all these pathetic robots if I wished! There would be pieces of scrap metal everywhere! I just don't want to right now. I just woke up, still tired and all that," he said. Grey rolled his eyes. Wizards and their silly pride. "But I suppose that is a fair deal. Where is this sealed off portion of reality?"
"Excellent. The boundary between this reality and the one they-I mean he, entered is near Kong King," Gray said.
"Kong King?" the wizard said, his face paling. "Y-you mean the Kong King in Japan?"
"Yes," Gray said frowning. "Is that a problem?"
"Um, it's just, well, there have been tales of people breaching that boundary and then never being able to return. They just disappear, gone for good," the wizard said. "Hell, even people who begin the process of trying to break through mysteriously forget about it or suddenly do a complete 180 and start saying it'd be stupid to try."
Gray scowled. "Are you backing out of our agreement?"
"N-no! Of course not," the wizard said. "I just thought you might want to know. Be prepared and all that."
"I can assure you," Gray said, "that no matter what happens, I have the manpower to handle it." He snapped his fingers, and a legion of robots marched into the castle behind him.
"A-ah," the wizard said, his eyes darting between the large group of robots and Gray's face. "Ok then. Just making sure. Well, if you can take me to Kong King, I-I can start trying to look into the boundary, see how to get through it."
"Can you not just teleport there? You ARE a wizard, aren't you?" Grey said.
"Well yeah, but the ingredients for long-range teleportation spells aren't exactly cheap, at least not the ones that get you there in one piece. Besides, I've never been to Kong King, I'd hate to overshoot it and land in the ocean somewhere," the wizard said.
Gray sighed. "Fine, fine," he said, waving a hand irritably. "Come with me then."
"Excellent, just let me grab my things," the wizard said, happily, and sprinted over to his laboratory.
Gray turned back to see the legion of robots that had marched into the castle milling about. "What are you all still doing here? Get back to the plane!" he yelled.
"Um, sorry sir, but the bridge is too small and weak, we have to walk back one at a time," a Scoutbot said.
Looking over at the assembly of robots, which seemed no smaller than it had been when they first entered the castle, Gray frowned. "And how long will it take for all of you to get back across?"
"Fifteen minutes, probably," the Scoutbot said, as a single Soldierbot began walking across, only to fall screaming to the bottom of the ravine after a portion of the walkway crumbled beneath him. "Make that a half hour," the Scoutbot said.
"Wonderful," Gray said, barely containing his anger. "And that was sarcasm, before you ask, it's not wonderful at all," he said, as the Scoutbot opened its mouth to speak. "Sometimes I wonder why I even built you imbeciles."
"To help take over Mann Co. sir," the Scout bot said, helpfully.
Gray's eyebrow twitched. "Yes. Right. Thank you," he said between clenched teeth.
"No problem, sir! Happy to help," the Scoutbot said, saluting.
"I'm all packed and ready," the wizard said, running back to the entrance hall with a hastily packed suitcase. "Did you wait for me? That's so nice of you!" he said, happily.
"Right," Gray said. "While we wait for my robots to cross that ravine outside your house-" he began, before the wizard cut him off.
"Ravine? What rav- oh right!" he said, slapping himself in the forehead. "I forgot to deactivate that spell. One second," he said. He took out a short staff and yelled "Ac modos semita!" and the path outside suddenly began to get larger and larger until there was a bridge large enough for trucks to drive across connecting the castle to the mainland. "There we go," he said, as the robots tentatively began to walk across.
"Why don't you just have the bridge active all the time?" Gray asked, once he and the wizard began crossing the bridge behind Gray man.
"Well, it's a security measure. Though apparently not an effective one," he said, frowning at Gray. "But more importantly, it's expected that an old haunted castle have a winding path going to it, not some wide bridge. It might be a bit inconvenient at times, but it's the principle of the thing."
Gray shook his head in disgust at the inefficiency wizards tended to show. They cared so much for appearances they forgot to actually be effective. Perhaps that's why Merasmus had never managed to take out those mercenaries. He smirked, before realizing he hadn't managed to take them out either, at which point his smirk faded back into a familiar scowl.
After they'd crossed the bridge, the wizard once again waved his staff, saying "Pontem angustum deducere!" and the bridge shrunk back to the small, winding path it had been before. He nodded, smiling at a job well done. Turning around, he found Gray had already entered his plane, and was watching the wizard, one eye twitching. "Ah, coming, coming," the wizard said, hurrying to the still open hatch and climbing in. The hatch closed behind him, leaving him to look around for a place to sit. Seeing Gray sitting on a seat near the front, his eyes closed and hands clasped in front of him, the wizard chose to sit down next to him, throwing his suitcase under his seat. Gray cracked an eye open at the sound of the wizard sitting down, his frown deepening before he closed it again.
"Excuse me, I don't think I caught your name," the wizard said, holding out a hand "I go by Witl- I mean Caucior. I go by Caucior."
Gray opened his eyes to see a hand in front of his face. "Gray Mann," he said, simply, shaking the outstretched hand gently.
"Oh? That's a kind of plain name, don't you think? You should think about changing it. Something like Factorem Hominem or something." Gray closed his eyes again. "Have you ever been to Kong King?" Caucior asked. "I hear it's great this time of year. Oh, and all that neon! Such an interesting gas! I tried making a spell that would make the neon shift and move in the lights once, so you could have moving neon images, but it didn't go so great. Turns out neon doesn't really react well with spells. Turned alive, tried to eat me, you know, the usual."
Gray sighed as the wizard continued to yammer on and on. It was going to be a long plane ride to Kong King.
A buzzing alerted him to a message from the Engineer bots at home base. Bringing it up, he saw it contained another report from the robot that had traveled to the other side. He began to read it, ignoring the blathering of the wizard beside him.
Report Begins:
Master, I believe this will be my last report. I will stop functioning shortly, but I am fulfilling my damage report protocol. My limbs are destroyed, and I am unable to move. In just a few seconds, my head will be destroyed, and I will die. I am sorry I could not serve you better.
After passing through the rock, Reimu led me through the forest back to the shrine. She was silent along the way, and when we finally arrived, she took me back to the front steps, where we saw Merasmus performing some magic on what appeared to be benches. Upon sighting Reimu, his face lit up. "Ah Reimu," he said, walking over, "I wondered where you'd gone! We started getting the preparations ready ahead of time, is that fine?" Reimu nodded. "Oh, and Miss Alice arrived. She brought along what we'd asked for. She's quite good. And who is-" he began, turning in my direction, before he saw me fully. He let out a short scream and swung his staff at me, yelling some magic incantation, and before I could move, I was launched into the air. The sudden change in motion caused my motors to spin out of control, causing severe damage to my joints, almost rupturing them. I have calculated that the added rotation will cause my head to be facing downwards when I hit the ground, and I do not believe I will survive it. I am sorry, Master I-
Report Ends
Gray frowned. It would seem that his one Spy on the other side had been destroyed. Something about the robot's descriptions struck him as odd though. The motors inside his robots wouldn't spin out of control just because of a sudden change in motion, he'd designed them himself. Perhaps it was because of the magic that they'd spun out of control like that, he guessed. That was unfortunate. Hopefully the wizard he'd just picked up would be able to get that anti-magic spell working, or his robots would be rendered useless rather easily.
In the meantime, this meant that he'd be crossing without any knowledge on what was happening on the other side. He hated going into things blind. Knowledge was the one thing he prized above all else, it was what had kept him alive and had brought him his revenge. Not having it irritated him to no end. But then, so did having to work with a magician. He supposed that it was a day of irritations for him then. Sighing, he settled back into his seat, coming up with contingency plan after contingency plan, while beside him, the wizard Caucior continued to drone on.