Hi everybody! It's part two of that Sniper chapter, as promised. It's a lot of conversation, just as a heads-up. And a lot of character introductions for no real reason. But hey, it's almost an official rule that you can't go to the SDM without having everyone cameo at least a little bit.
In less good news-progress on the next update has been pretty slow. I'm still working on it, and I hope to get it done soonish, but it may not be done in a week, and even if it is, I'd like to try and get a head start at the next chapters, so there may not be an update next week (not that I've been very consistent on that front, but I figured I might as well let you know).
As always, thanks for reviewing/favoriting/following/reading-at-all! I do appreciate it, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.
Also, I don't know how necessary this previously on segment is, but I should probably get back into the habit of it.
Previously on The Nine Red Men Incident-The Sniper Chapters: The Sniper, after having fallen into the Scarlet Devil Mansion, helped Sakuya stop Marisa from escaping with some books from the Voile Library. Then he was subjected to a magical lie detector test, and, after having confirmed that he was not out to assassinate Remilia Scarlet, was allowed to stay. However, during the interrogation, he mentioned the Bombinomicon, which Patchouli recognized as one of the most powerful grimoires in existence, and she began making plans with Marisa to steal it. Before they could entice the Sniper into yet another magic circle, they were interrupted by a sleepy voice from behind them.
We now return you to: The Nine Red Men Incident-The Sniper Chapters
Turning towards the noise, the Sniper saw a young blond girl clutching a large teddy bear, who had what looked like two metal rods sticking out of her back, from which hung eight colored crystals. She let out a yawn, revealing two large top incisors, which the Sniper guessed meant she was a "vampire."
The Sniper opened his mouth to speak, before Marisa put her hand over it. "Hi, Flandre, what's up?"
"Hmm? Oh, probably the sky, and the roof, sometimes, when it's not falling into pieces," the girl, who the Sniper guessed was Flandre, said. "Why d'you ask, Marisa?"
"Um…no reason," Marisa said.
"Who's that?" Flandre asked, staring at the Sniper. "He looks funny." The Sniper narrowed his eyes. "Better, but still funny."
"He's, um, a guest of your sister's," Marisa said. "And is too busy to play right now."
Flandre's face scrunched up slightly. "Why would he want to play right now? That'd be a weird thing to do when you're a guest in someone's house, wouldn't it?" She walked up until she was standing face to face (well, more like face to stomach) with him. She took a deep sniff, seemingly searching for something. Then she smiled widely. "You smell like death," she said, taking another sniff. "It's niiiiice." The Sniper looked at Marisa, a puzzled expression on his face. Marisa shrugged. "Why d'you smell like that? It's kinda like Sakuya, but I know why she smells like it."
"Well, I'm a hunter, by profession," he said. "That could be why."
"Hunter?" Flandre said, wrinkling her nose. "Hunter of what? If you're here to hunt sis you're late. She used to get so many playmates for me that way, but there haven't been any in a while."
"Um, no, I mostly hunt animals. Well I used to. Now I hunt the BLU team. And robots," the Sniper said, frowning. "I almost miss the simplicity of hunting crocodiles."
"What's a crocodile?" Flandre and Marisa asked at around the same time.
"It's a big lizard with razor-sharp teeth, essentially," the Sniper replied. "They can be quite difficult to hunt, since they'll look like logs in a river until you approach. If you try and take one on up close and personal, you're probably dead, unless, like me, you've very skilled with a blade. But at least they don't think up strategies or shoot at you."
"Why wouldn't you just shoot it?" Patchouli asked. "No need to get close to something you're hunting."
"Well yes, but it's a bit of a rite of passage back home. Taking it out from a distance is considered cowardly. Even using my knife was pushing it," he said. "No one appreciates a strategy more complex than 'punch them till they keel over,' back home," he said, shaking his head. "All that Australium's made everyone rely on brute strength."
"Australium?" Marisa said.
"It's-" the Sniper began, before Patchouli interrupted.
"It's a strange metal with the properties of causing those who handle it to grow muscles at an alarming rate, as well as sprout a mustache. In addition, I've heard it can turn people into statues of itself when wielded as a weapon," she said. "I wanted to do experiments with it, when I was still outside, but it's so heavily watched that it's nearly impossible to get any. I take it you're from Australia then?" she asked, turning to the Sniper, who nodded. "Why are you not sporting muscles and a mustache then?"
The Sniper sighed. "Because I grew up in one of the few parts of Australia where all the Australium's been mined. It was all mined years and years ago, before even my parents' generation. That led to some difficulties at school, I can tell you," he shuddered.
"Go back to the crocodile," Flandre said. "That was more interesting."
"Flandre," an admonishing voice said from behind them. "It's rude to call people's stories boring." Turning around, the Sniper saw Sakuya standing next to another young girl, though this one had lilac hair instead of blond, and her wings looked like actual bat wings, rather than rods and crystals.
"Oh, hi, sis!" Flandre said. "What're you doing up?"
"The same reason you are, I would think, Flandre. I heard a lot of noise coming from the library, which I found odd, so I came to investigate," she said. Behind her, Sakuya subtly adjusted the hat on the girl's head so it didn't slide off and brushed a stray strand of hair back into place.
"Hi Sakuya," Flandre said, apparently noticing her for the first time. The other girl frowned for a second before apparently recovering. "Did you know the guest smells like you?" she asked. The lilac-haired girl coughed in surprise, while Sakuya sighed.
"Do you have something to tell me, Sakuya?" the girl asked.
"It is a consequence of our professions, milady," Sakuya replied. "Nothing more."
"Oh. What is your profession?" she said, turning to the Sniper.
"I'm a hunter, of sorts," he said. "And am I to assume you're the owner of this mansion?"
"Oh, did I not introduce myself?" she said, putting a hand to her mouth in shock. "I am terribly sorry. I am Remilia Scarlet, the lady of this house." She extended a hand for him to shake.
"I'm the Sniper," the Sniper said, shaking her hand. "Pleasure to meet you."
"Indeed, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well," she said.
"Sis, why're you talking all weird?" Flandre asked.
"Yeah, what's up with that?" Marisa chimed in.
"Wha-whatever are you two referring to?" she said. "I always speak in this manner."
"You're doing it again," Flandre said, frowning. She began to poke her sister in the shoulder.
"Flandre, why are you poking me?" Remilia said, flinching from the repeated poking.
"I'm testing if you're actually my sister," she replied.
"Of course I am, Flan," Remilia said. "How could you think otherwise?" Flandre's scowl deepened, and she began poking her harder. "Flan, that hurts," Remilia said. "Flan," she began before flinching, annoyance tinting her voice. The Sniper reached out a hand to try and stop Flandre, but Sakuya, still standing behind Remilia, shook her head at him, so he stopped. "Flan, if you don't stop then I'll-" she began, before Flan poked her in the stomach. "Aargh, Flan, stop that!" she said, swatting her hands away. "What the hell is this about, Flan?" she said.
"There you are, sis!" Flandre said, smiling.
Remilia glared at her for a second, before her shoulders slumped forward. "Fine. I guess I can't try to sound formal without people questioning my identity. So," she said, turning to the Sniper, with her eyes narrowed, "what exactly do you hunt and how did you wind up at my house?"
"Well," the Sniper said, a bit surprised at the sudden shift in tone, "I mostly hunt BLU team and sometimes robots, and a wizard did it."
"Well, that matches up with what Sakuya said, at least," Remilia said, shrugging her shoulders. "Though she did mention you had a plan to kill me?"
The Sniper groaned and shot an annoyed look at Sakuya, who simply raised an eyebrow at him. "It's more of a thought exercise than an actual plan. I make one for everyone, so don't take it personally."
"Ooh, I do that too!" Flandre said. "But mine's usually just to make them go kyuu~," she said, snapping her fingers. "Does that mean I'd make a good hunter?"
The Sniper gave her a questioning glance, while Remilia looked at her admonishingly.
"Flandre," she said, "I thought we agreed that there would be no more of that."
"Yeah, I know," Flandre said, a tinge of sadness touching her voice. "I wouldn't actually do it, I just can't help thinking about it sometimes."
Remilia's face softened, and she seemed to be about to say something before they heard a wailing voice yelling "Sakuyaaaaa."
Sakuya frowned slightly. "Excuse me, everyone," she said, bowing, "but I should go handle that." Remilia nodded, and Sakuya disappeared.
"What's that all about?" the Sniper said.
Remilia waved a hand dismissively. "Probably just something wrong with the gate. Perhaps Meiling's upset that you made it past her yet again, Marisa," Remilia said, turning to the witch, who put her hands behind her head and whistled innocently.
"I would think she'd be used to that by now," Patchouli said, sighing.
"True," Remilia said, shrugging her shoulders. "But there's no point hypothesizing-thinking about it," she corrected, rubbing the spot where Flandre had once again poked her. "She'll tell Sakuya, and Sakuya will take care of it. But back to you," she said, turning towards the Sniper. "I hear there are others like you who have fallen here?"
"Ooh, there's more of you?" Flandre said excitedly. "I can do that too! We must be secretely related."
"Uh, hate to disappoint," the Sniper said, "but they're not more of me, they're my teammates," the Sniper said, looking at Flandre with a slightly disturbed expression. "And yeah, they fell in here before me. I'd really like to be able to go look for them, if it's alright with you, Miss," he said, tipping his hat to Remilia.
"Oh no you don't," Marisa said, grabbing his arm. "You've still got to help us with the tracking spell first!"
"Indeed you do," Patchoulli said, closing her book.
"Gah," the Sniper said, shaking his head. "Well can we get it over with quickly then, at least?" he asked, before whispering under his breath, "You blighters."
"Well, we're ready to start drawing now, so it shouldn't take too long to set up," Patchoulli said.
"That's something, at least," the Sniper said.
Remilia smiled. "I do wish you'd take some tea with me before you leave. I'd like to hear how the outside world's changed in my absence."
"Ah, I'm sorry, I probably wouldn't be the best to tell you about that. I've been kinda isolated recently," the Sniper said. "The only real places I've seen are battlegrounds."
Remilia frowned. "Don't you still have newspapers?"
"Well yeah, but-" the Sniper began, rubbing his neck with his hand, before they were interrupted by someone barging into the library.
"Meiling," Sakuya's voice came, warningly, as the sounds of running footsteps approached, "Stop!"
"No! I'm going to give whoever did this a piece of my mind," another voice said, coming from down one of the halls.
Remilia frowned, a look of irritation crossing her face, while Flandre perked up instantly. "Meiling, is that you?" she said, happily. "We're over here!"
The Sniper saw a woman, whom he assumed to be Meiling, round a corner between the bookshelves and begin marching quickly towards where the rest of them stood. Her long red hair and green dress flew out behind her and her green, starred hat threatened to fall off her head. She strode up to the group, a determined look in her eyes. Marisa flinched and began bringing out her mini-hakkero, but Meiling ignored her and quickly approached the Sniper. "You," she said.
"Yes?" the Sniper said, confused.
"You destroyed my topiary of the mistress," she said simply.
"What?" Remilia said, raising her eyebrows in worry.
"Ah," the Sniper said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, miss. I didn't really have a choice in the matter."
"Do you know how long that took to make?" the woman said, barely constrained rage echoing through her features. "The years of planting, growing, trimming? Hell, it took me a couple months to make the frame for it, even."
"I actually liked that one," Remilia said, sadly.
"Look, I was falling out of the sky, I didn't exactly have a lot of control over where I was going to land," the Sniper said, though Meiling didn't seem to be listening.
"-and then there were all those winters when the snow got really heavy and I had to cover the plants in a tarp to make sure they didn't freeze, and then that time where Cirno launched a huge icicle that was heading straight for it until I got in front of it, and then-" she was still saying.
"Uh, Miss Meiling?" the Sniper said, waving a hand at her, but she seemed to be too caught up in listing the many things she'd had to do to protect the topiary. "Is this normal for her?" the Sniper asked, turning to the others.
Marisa shook her head, while Remilia, Flandre, Patchoulli, and Sakuya (who had reappeared behind Remilia) all gave slight nods. "She can get a bit, well, caught up in things she really cares about. Which is mostly her garden," Sakuya said. "Though I've rarely seen her this angry."
As Meiling continued to list the many, many things she'd apparently done to keep the topiary alive and growing correctly, Remilia turned back to the Sniper. "You were saying something about newspapers?"
"Huh? Oh right, yeah," the Sniper said, "the only paper I can get is rather limited in scope. In that it mostly talks about gravel, or weapons." He shook his head, "It's a sad fact that my best source for outside information is essentially a professional liar," he muttered under his breath.
Remilia frowned. "That's rather unfortunate. As annoying as some of the articles published in papers here can be, at least they're interesting. I-" she began, before pausing, listening. Then she sighed. "How many unannounced visitors am I going to have today?" she said, as the sounds of footsteps and conversation became apparent.
"And then I said, 'Yo, lardfat! Eat this!' and I slammed my bat right into his face. It was totally great. Oh man, and there was this one time, you would not believe what happened-" a voice was saying, and the Sniper, recognizing who it was, massaged his forehead with one hand, and held up the other to placate Sakuya, who was about to go see who else had managed to enter the library.
He let out a slight sigh, then cupped a hand around his mouth and yelled, "Oi, Scout! Over here, mate."
There was the sound of two people running, and then the Scout turned a corner and ran right up to the group. A few seconds later, Hina arrived, panting. "Heyyy, Sniper! It's good to see ya again, man," the Scout said.
"Good to see you too, mate," the Sniper said. "And nice to meet you, miss," he said, tipping his hat to Hina.
"It is good to meet you, too," she said, between pants.
"Oh, hello, ladies," the Scout said to the group behind the Sniper. "How are you all do-" he began, before Meiling's voice rose.
"And Yuuka's going to be so angry!" she said, before panting heavily, her list finished. "Phew, that feels better," she said, between pants.
"Did-did you just say Yuuka?" the Scout said, who'd jumped back at her outburst.
"Yeah she stops by sometimes-wait, who are you?" Meiling said.
Sighing, Sakuya put a hand on Meiling's shoulder. "They're a couple of people who entered the mansion while you were busy venting."
Meiling gulped. "Ah, r-really?" Sakuya nodded. Meiling poked her fingers together sheepishly. "I just wanted him," she said, pointing at the Sniper, "to realize how difficult it'd been to make that hedge sculpture."
"I think he understands," Sakuya said.
"Yeah, look, I'm sorry about that. Didn't have much choice in where I landed," the Sniper said.
"Is that why you're all covered in bandages?" the Scout asked.
"Yeah that's why," the Sniper said, turning to look at the Scout, who laughed. The Sniper's eye twitched, before he noticed something that'd been bothering him about the Scout for a while. "Look, no offense mate, but why're you all white?" the Sniper said.
"What? Oh," the Scout said, looking down. "Well there was this fight, which I could've won, by the way, I just didn't want that chick to get hurt, and I kinda ended up getting blasted in the face, which made me get covered in poison oak or ivy or somethin'. So I had to have all this itching cream or whatever spread everywhere."
"Ah, so that's why you asked about Yuuka," Meiling said. "Don't feel bad about losing, she could beat pretty much anyone."
"Hey, I didn't lose!" the Scout said. "She just surprised me, is all."
"Sure she did," the Sniper said, patting him on the back.
The Scout groaned. "You all suck. If I'd gone all out she woulda been eating the grass she probably loves so much."
"All right, all right," the Sniper said, holding his hands up. "You could definitely have beaten this 'Yuuka' person in a fight if you really tried."
"Damn right I could," the Scout said.
"Now that that's settled, how'd you find me?" the Sniper said.
"Huh? Oh yeah, Engie can track us, apparently. It's some sorta special command on his construction doohickey," the Scout said. "He's goin' to get the others."
The Sniper sighed in relief. "That's bloody brilliant."
"Yeah, so let's get going. I'm sorry ladies," the Scout said, with a short bow, "but this hunk of manliness has a wizard's ass to kick. Don't be too upset though, I'll come back with such stories of my awesomeness you'll have no choice but to reward me!" Sakuya rolled her eyes, while Meiling looked on puzzled. Flandre let out a childish giggle, before doubling over in laughter.
"Not yet, you're not," Patchouli said. "We still need to use his magical residue to track the Bombinomicon," she said, pointing to the Sniper.
"Well, I don't think I need to sit through another one of these," Sakuya said, "as informative as it was the first time. And you," she said, grabbing Meiling's shoulder, "should get back to guarding the gate before any more unannounced visitors show up." Meiling gulped and nodded. "And you, young mistress," she said, turning to Flandre, "should get back to sleep."
Flandre pouted. "But I'm not even tired," she said.
Remilia frowned. "C'mon Flan," she said. "Let's get out of their hair for a bit."
"But I'm not in anyone's hair," Flandre said, looking disgusted. "That'd be kinda gross."
"It's an expression Flan," Remilia said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Let's have an early breakfast or something, ok?"
Flandre tilted her head to the side, thinking. "Hmmmm. Well, ok. Bye, death-smelling man and friends!" she said, smiling at the Sniper.
"Goodbye, Miss," the Sniper said, tilting his hat.
"Hey, waddya mean, 'and friends?'" the Scout said. "I'm way more important than he is!"
Flandre walked up to him and took a deep sniff, causing the Scout to lean back, looking uncomfortable. "Mmm, no. He smells a bit more like death than you. That makes him more important!"
"Wha-eh-huh?" the Scout said, sputtering.
"Don't worry about it, mate. I'm just better," the Sniper said, patting the Scout on his back.
"I hope you'll at least stop by the dining room before you leave," Remilia said, smiling. "Sakuya can tell you where it is." Sakuya bowed.
"Of course, mistress," she said.
Meiling sprinted from the room back towards the front gate, while Sakuya simply seemed to vanish. Remilia and Flandre left together, discussing what it would be like to be in someone's hair, much to Remilia's chagrin.
Patchouli sighed, relaxing a bit. "The magical circle is ready," she said, looking at the Sniper.
The Sniper scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Anyone who went through the portal that bomb created would have the residue, yeah?"
"Yes," Patchouli said, questioningly.
"Hey Scout," the Sniper said, startling him out of his confusion as to where Sakuya had managed to go.
"D-did you see that maid just like vanish?" the Scout said.
"Yeah, she does that," the Sniper said, frowning. "How'd you like to step into this magic circle for me?"
"Pfft, yeah right," the Scout said, waving his hand dismissively. "I ain't goin' anywhere near anything magic."
"Well, alright then," the Sniper said shrugging. "Guess I'll collect the reward that they promised me," he said.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec-a reward who promised you?" the Scout said.
The Sniper raised an eyebrow. "Well, that maid, the gatekeeper, and that woman over there," he said, pointing to Koakuma, who was flittering around putting books away.
"Alright, yeah, let's do this," the Scout said, stepping towards the circle. "So I just gotta step into this circle thingy?" he asked, looking at the glowing outline on the ground.
"Yep!" Marisa said, happily.
"Gotcha," he said, stepping into the circle. "Now wha-" he started, before Patchouli touched her hand to the circle, and the Scout flinched as if stung. "Augh, the hell was that?"
"Well, someone," Marisa said, looking at the Sniper, "would rather the magic hurt than be calming." The Sniper let out a chuckle.
"Oh, real funny, wiseass," the Scout said. "When this whole 'tracking' thing's done, I'm gonna hit you so haaagh," he finished, flinching, as the magic hurt him again. "Urrgh, how long is this gonna take?" he asked.
"Eh, not too much longer," Marisa said, smiling. "Like five minutes or so."
"What? Ah man, five minutes is forever. I could destroy like fifty robots in five minutes," he said. "And it'd– urgh," he continued, flinching. "hurt less."
"The more you talk, the longer it will take," Patchouli said.
The Scout let out a groan before folding his arms in front of his chest and tapping his foot impatiently.
Chuckling to himself, the Sniper went over to the woman who'd come in with the Scout. "Miss Hina, was it?" he said. "Are you feeling alright?" She'd been silent save for her labored breathing since he'd greeted her.
"What?" she said, jumping slightly. "Oh, yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired. He moves very fast," she said, tilting her head towards the Scout, who was glaring at Marisa as she kept asking him questions to try and get him to talk. "I'm a bit tired from trying to keep up."
The Sniper chuckled. "Yeah, he's a right fast one. But that's his job. If he wasn't fast, he'd be dead. Temporarily, at least."
"So I've heard," she said. At the Sniper's confused look, she continued. "He was talking on the way here about how he dodged rockets and bullets all the time back in the outside world."
"Thanks for putting up with that," the Sniper said. "He doesn't let people get a word in edgewise when he wants to talk."
"Oh no, it's ok," she said, a tired smile crossing her face. "It was entertaining, though it did make it difficult to get him to go the right way sometimes." As she spoke, Sakuya reappeared next to her, a glass of water in her hand. "Oh, thank you," she said, taking the glass. Sakuya bowed, before vanishing again. She took a relieved sip.
"So how did you wind up travelling with him?" the Sniper asked.
Hina explained about how she'd visited Nitori and met the Engineer, how Momiji'd brought the Scout over, and finally how they'd split up to find the remaining RED team members.
"Heh. Well looks like Engie fell in just the right place," the Sniper said. "Guess we got at least a bit lucky."
"Oh yeah, speaking of luck," Marisa said, turning towards Hina, "you're not gonna start cursing us accidentally, are you?"
Hina's face fell, and she opened her mouth to speak, but the Scout interrupted. "Hey, that's not -urgh- fair, that's just a rumor. I've been around her for a good few hours now, and I haven't been -aaagh- cursed.
The Sniper was about to point out the situation the Scout was currently in, when he continued.
"'Sides, she actually listened to me, unlike most of the knuckleheads I've met," he said, sullenly.
"Ah," Marisa said, "yeah, I guess that joke was kinda mean, huh? My bad."
"I-it's ok. I'm getting used to it," Hina said, smiling thinly. Marisa looked away, seeming uncomfortable. The Scout shot Hina a thumbs-up, and her smile widened slightly.
"What was that about?" the Sniper asked. "Why would you curse anyone?"
"Oh, right, you wouldn't know" Hina said, "I'm a curse goddess." At the Sniper's expression, she continued, "that doesn't mean I curse people," she said, waving her hands. "I remove curses from people and then store them within myself. I did so for Mr. Dell, earlier. His misfortunes were strange, to say the least."
"But you didn't do it for the Scout, I see," the Sniper said, looking at the Scout, who was barely managing to avoid responding to Marisa.
"Well, I never really ended up having the time. And unfortunately, some people are just doomed to be unfortunate for their entire life," Hina said. "And considering what I've seen, I think he might be one of them."
"Yeah, that seems like him," the Sniper said. "At least he's never upset about it though. Then he'd be even more insufferable."
Hina frowned, but didn't say anything. A yell of triumph, as well as a few coughs, came from the group surrounding the Scout.
"We've got it!" Marisa said, as Patchouli was finishing coughing. "The Bombinomicon is currently at- wait, really?" she said, frowning at the glowing symbols that had appeared in the air around the circle. "Patchy, am I reading this right?" she asked, turning towards where the woman was coughing.
Patchouli finished coughing, then turned to look at the symbols as well. Her eyes narrowed. "I suppose we should have expected as much. If she wasn't out solving the 'incident,' then she must be in on it."
"Huh? Oh come on, Reimu wouldn't actually cause an incident," Marisa said.
"I agree," Hina said, though she looked confused. "Not one that would threaten Gensokyou, at least."
Patchouli frowned. "Perhaps she doesn't believe that this could be a threat to Gensokyou. Or maybe she was actually overpowered."
"No way," Marisa said, shaking her head emphatically. "She's not gonna be beaten by some random wizard, even with the Bombinomicon."
"C'mon already!" the Scout yelled. "Just tell us where the freaking book is so I can get out of this stupid circaaaargh!" He flinched in pain again.
Sighing, Patchouli pressed her hands to the circle again and the light faded, after which the Scout immediately jumped out of it and shot the Sniper an angry glare. "The Bombinomicon is at the Hakurei shrine," she said.
"Hey, that's where Nitori said we'd have to go to get outta here," the Scout said. "Least I think it is." He looked at Hina, who nodded at him.
"Well, if Reimu's involved, I'd better stop off at my house before we head over," Marisa said. "I've got a couple of things stashed away for emergencies in there that might help."
"Right," the Sniper said, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder. "Let's get going then, shall we?"
"Hey, what about that reward?" the Scout said, turning to look at the winged woman, who simply looked at him confused, while the Sniper began to walk away, chuckling to himself. The Scout let out an exasperated cry and followed after him, followed by Hina. Marisa and Patchouli followed a bit later, after Patchouli had given the winged woman instructions, discussing what sort of magic the Bombinomicon might contain.