Razzle Dazzle

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

Razzle Dazzle 'em
and they'll never catch wise

- Razzle Dazzle, Chicago

watch?v=c-zEtAuKuUY

"North, what happened?" Tooth demanded as she flew through the balcony window, hovering over the controls to the globe anxiously.

"I do not know," North replied, baffled. "Little fairy that stays with Jack, she came flying in and demanded we turn on the aurora, got Phil to do it when I would not. Can you understand her?"

Tooth cupped her hands carefully, catching Baby Tooth before she could run into Tooth's chest. Baby Tooth chattered at her rapidly as Sandy and Bunny arrived, North hushing Bunny before he could start to complain so Tooth could hear her daughter better, watching in worry as she grew more agitated by the second.

"Jack's been kidnapped!" she exclaimed when Baby Tooth finished her story. "A pack of satyresses and spirits ambushed him at his lake and dragged him off in a sack!"

The exclamation point over Sandy's head perfectly mirrored the surprised set of Bunny's ears. For all he teased Jack, Tooth suspected Bunny was starting to view him as an annoying little brother, and no one messed with Bunny's family. Not after what had happened to them before.

"Satyresses – that means Europe, probably Greece," Bunny said, obviously ready to tap out a tunnel and start searching, hardwood floors be damned.

He paused as a yeti came crashing into the room, babbling frantically.

"Muses? What do they want? Have no time for talk, we must find Jack," North exclaimed, even as four chiton-clad figures slipped into the room after the yeti.

"We know where Jack is," Thalia giggled. Her sisters giggled behind her, even Melpomene, as the Guardians looked at them expectantly.

"Though, he might not want found," she continued thoughtfully, looking toward the ceiling as she speculated. "What do you think, ladies?"

"Oh, he'll probably appreciate it after he's too exhausted to even walk anymore," Euterpe commented as Erato sighed longingly.

"...wanting rescue now or not, he got dragged off by a bunch of satyresses," Tooth said, deliberately ignoring the insinuation, steel in her voice. "We won't believe he wants to be there until we have spoken with him ourselves."

"You will take us to him, yes?" North said expansively. "Come, to the sleigh!"

"Oh, we can't let you know where he is yet," Euterpe said, linking her hands behind her back and leaning forward eagerly. "She can't possibly be finished with him yet, surely he has more stamina that that."

"He's so flexible," Erato said in her breathy, suggestive voice. "I'm sure there's many, many things she wants to do with him...and maybe to him."

It was dancing, Tooth recited to herself against the surge of fury and jealousy. No matter what it sounded like, Jack was a dancer, the other spirits liked to try and get him to dance with them, and the muses were just having fun at their expense.

...right?

Apparently North, Bunny, and Sandy hadn't gotten the message yet about the dancing, and looked either confused or incensed.

"If he's got so much as a bruise on 'im..." Bunny ground out, making the muses stare at him in astonishment.

"Oh, she doesn't want him hurt, he's no good to her if he's hurt," Melpomene said quickly. "It's just, there are so many ways to go about it, and I think she wants to try as many as she can."

That threw Bunny off, standing with his mouth opening and closing wordlessly as Tooth fought back another surge of anger. Whether they were talking of dancing or anything else, how dare they touch Jack and carry him off like some kind of pet to perform on demand?

"Who is this 'she' that has Jack?" she demanded, her fairies adding to her demand with an angry buzz of tiny wings.

The muses eyed her fairies before exchanging glances, apparently deciding that while the Queen might not attack them, the children might, and that they may be skirting the edge of their tolerance with their teasing.

"Our sister, Terpsichore," Thalia said reluctantly. "She's the oldest, and jealous that the four of us got to taste Jack's pleasures before she did."

Tooth bit back a snarl and dearly, dearly wished for her sabers.

She was startled out of it by the deep snarl beside her, jerking back to realize it was Bunny, who took a deep breath, obviously trying to control himself.

"I've heard enough," he growled. "Where do you sheilas live? Mount Helicon? Let's go, mates."

"But you can't!" Euterpe cried, darting forward to grab at North's sleeve. "Zeus will call it an invasion, and Terpsichore will be so angry!"

"Zeus has less influence than he believes these days," Tooth said angrily, flying past them. "And if your sister hadn't kidnapped Jack, this wouldn't be happening. He does like talking to spirits, you know. There was no need to kidnap anyone."

Keenly aware that last statement had come out sounding crossly like her mother, Tooth zipped off toward the sleigh, letting the others trail behind. She was going to go check on Jack, whether the Muses liked it or not.

A/N: Author has a love/hate relationship with the Muses' names. They're pretty, but so hard to remember how to spell. :(

Took awhile to decide what song when with this chapter. Hope someone likes the innuendos. Yes, they so know what they're implying.

Also, the mental image of Baby Tooth trying to turn on the aurora and then bullying Phil into doing it continues to amuse me