The Hidden Tragedy that is Sakura Haruno
(I don't own Naruto.)
Chapter 4
*Fast forwarding again another year. Sakura has started the ninja academy.*
Sakura had to train and study her ass off to be caught up with the kids who knew they were going to be ninja from the day they were born. She liked studying, it took her to another place inside her mind that her mother and step father couldn't get to. She was going to be strong. Strong for her and…she couldn't even think of her name. It hurt her too much.
Sakura had been on several anti-depression pills, some of them could be considered too strong for someone her age.
Sakura quickly found out that Sasuke was the one screaming that night. That his older brother had gone crazy or something and killed off his whole clan just to make Sasuke stronger. To torment him. Sakura was horrified yet, in a strange sickening way, felt comfort in the fact that she wasn't the only person who didn't have a great home life. Of course there was also the Naruto kid that had a demon inside of him but Sakura had never seen him around much. At times she almost wished she didn't have a family instead of being cursed with the one she did have.
Sakura had taken up having a crush on Sasuke. It made her feel normal. Every other girl in her class was obsessed with him and it made her feel more like she belonged. Also Sasuke still had those same black eyes, same black hair, features she was too familiar with. It made her feel slightly happier to be near him.
At first Sasuke pushed her away. Since Sakura was around him and his family a lot before their deaths it reminded him too much of the pain but after they had been put onto a team together Sasuke started sneaking into her room at night. Asking if she wanted to go on walks or go watch the stars together.
Sasuke was extremely clear that they had to act like nothing had changed between them during the day. She still needed to be his love sick puppy and he would continue to ignore her. He was scared. Scared that the last thing that connected him to his family would be ripped from him.
Sakura agreed and it became routine for them to secretly see each other. She never told him about her home life. She was only concerned with trying to help him with his own demons. Adding her own demons to the mix just seemed like it wouldn't help at all.
They watched out for each other on missions and both had become close friends with Naruto, their other teammate, over the years. Well…kind of. Sasuke and Naruto butted heads a lot and although Sakura would never tell anyone why, Sasuke would tell her late at night that he hated the way Naruto looked at her. The way he asked her out to dinner all the time and called her beautiful. It filled him with rage. Sakura was his release, his calm, his property. No one else would find the things in her that he did.
She assured him there was nothing to worry about and even took to smacking Naruto when he crossed a line.
After Sasuke got the curse mark everything changed. Sakura would see him less and less and when she did see him he only wanted physical things from her. At first it was just to hold him as he tried to sleep then it was small kisses and maybe a make out session or two.
Sasuke admitted that he wanted to bed Sakura one night and asked what she thought about the idea. He never forced himself onto her but at this point in her life it seemed like the only times she saw him was when he wanted to touch her. It was hard at first, pushing back memories of when she was first touched that way but Sasuke meant everything to her. It was her connection to…her. Sakura would do anything for him.
Sakura took a night to think about it but told him at training the next morning that she agreed. Making sure they were alone and that they were not over heard. He just nodded at her but she could see the softness in his eyes. She was his release as much as he was hers.
Of course Sasuke assured to visit her that night.
He took her a few more times after that but that's all his visit would be anymore. They didn't talk the way they used to. She used to be able to gauge Sasuke's healing heart by the things that he told her but now he told her nothing. He only told her things that would make her more comfortable with sharing a bed with him every other night but nothing else.
After a week of not seeing him at night Sakura knew something was up. She knew he was distancing himself from her for some reason. And she was terrified at the only reason she could think of.
For three nights straight she would sit waiting on a bench by the North Gate. It was the closest gate to the Uchiha District and she knew that if Sasuke was going to leave to gain power then he would have to pass this spot.
On the third night when the moon was high in the sky Sasuke turned the corner and was walking with his book bag towards the gate.
Sakura pleaded with him to stay. Told him how much he meant to her and that if he left her that she would be alone. And she would. The final connection to her, gone. Forever.
He knocked her out after thanking her for everything she had done. But she was the one who should be thanking him. He was the thing that kept her sane. The person who brought the hope of light into her darkness.
When she awoke the next morning on the bench she knew he was gone. She knew her happiness was gone. She knew that everything that meant everything to her had left her. She wanted to lean on Naruto but he left to bring Sasuke back as soon as he found out he was gone.
She was alone. Again. Just like she was when she was a kid.
…
Time seemed to stand still for Sakura. She locked herself away in her room and thankfully her mother and step father didn't bother her either. They were too busy doing their drugs and screaming at each other to even remember she existed. No one seemed to remember she existed. Naruto left the village for training and Kakashi was doing his own missions now.
It had only been a month but to Sakura it felt like years. She contemplated suicide. She wondered who would care or how long it would take anyone to notice. But one night she was visited in a dream by the ghost of the small girl that gave her happiness and life…what seemed like a lifetime ago.
She talked her out of ending her own life and told her that Sakura had promised her she was going to be a strong ninja and she wanted Sakura to keep that promise. Told her that she had more to live for then she knew. Sakura awoke in tear. She just wanted to stay in that dream world forever.
Sakura starts to see…her now. When the dark thoughts came into her mind her face would appear and she would talk to Sakura. Tell her things she needed to hear but she would always vanish as quickly as she came. Sakura started to think she was going crazy. But she was okay with that. If she got to see her face and look into her eyes, she would be crazy forever.
It wasn't until Sakura went into puking fits that she started to feel less numb again. Her mother had made some crude joke about her being a stupid whore that probably got knocked up by some deadbeat but it made the wheels in Sakura's head turn.
Her mother had kept pregnancy tests under the counter in the downstairs bathroom. Sakura took one out of the box the other night and was now staring at the small white stick. It was still processing. Taking what seemed like hours to figure out its answer.
'You're being silly, Sakura! You worry too much!'
Her ghost was back again. Waiting in the corner of her room looking at her with a smile. Sakura knew she must be panicking if she could see her as clearly as she did now but for a second the ghost changed. The small girl's eyes stayed constant but her features changed. Her hair got shorter and spiked up in the back. Her face turned into a much manlier shape. Suddenly Sakura was looking up at Sasuke. She couldn't look away.
Sakura had grown attached to Sasuke; she literally gave him everything that she had to give. She stared up at him for a long time and he just looked back at her. Neither moved and Sakura struggled to break eye contact as she finally looked down at the white stick in her lap.
Positive.
She looked back up but neither of her ghost were there. She was alone again. She looked down at her stomach prepared to hate the thing that was making her this upset. But she couldn't. She instead saw it as her savior. The Uchiha clan had always been there for her and now she needed to be there for them. Sasuke needed to know. He would want to know. Want to be a part of their life.
She wasted no time in writing a note to Naruto saying she was going to look for Sasuke and that weather she brought him back or not, she was going to be with him.
She packed her backpack. This time, remembering food and water for her journey.
She set off into the night to find the father of her child.
End.