Should I go on?

It would be easy to just pass out while the ambulance made its way to the hospital.

But that would be taking the easy way out and my mind and body wouldn't allow me to just skip through the exams that were waiting for me, the questions that everyone probably had.

I could feel Emily staring at me but I kept my eyes closed, listened to the paramedics talking, Emily only every so often interjecting something. I didn't hear a word they said, but it was obvious that they were talking about me and my state of being.

"His name was Michael Harris. He tortured ten agents of several agen—" Emily stopped when I opened my eyes and stared at her. Her cheeks turned a pretty pink that I hadn't seen in a while and I almost smiled.

Almost.

"I know what he did. I also know that he wanted to break them and me, and because I'd already been tortured he decided that he needed something else, he needed to up his game." I stared at her as her face paled and for a second I felt guilty. But I had the right to say what I wanted, and she had been asking for it. "That's where those two men come in, Em. Because he couldn't 'step over that line' he had them do it."

She paled even more even though I hadn't thought it was possible and I pressed my lips together to stop myself from going on. I had crossed a line, and I needed to step back. So I closed my eyes again and shut everything out. Emily didn't deserve my ranting and raving. Emily didn't deserve to be confronted like that. Not while she was trying to help me.

"Your right, you didn't need to be told." She bit her lip and kept quiet for a moment while I did my best not to disappear.

"He didn't do anything to me though, Em," I said softly and she frowned at me. "He had someone kidnap me, and he had those men...but he didn't do anything other than taunt me with what was going to happen. It was going to be 'fun' and 'exciting' he said. But he could've done more."

"I think that he didn't plan this through. That's all I can say though, for now." Emily looked at me for a moment and nodded. "It's been a long three days and we still haven't found out why he took you, because you weren't on his list."

I didn't say more but my head couldn't let go of what she had said. He had a list? And I wasn't on that? It confused me, but mostly it angered me that he had chosen me when clearly, all the people he had taken before had been on a list, probably for revenge. So why me?

When we got to the hospital I was able to close off part of me that wanted to flinch at every touch and that wanted to scream at every question they asked.

Everything happened in a rush. They did a rape kit, took pictures and put a cast around my wrist while I stayed in my head, safe from all the touches and all the questions. I didn't say a word and I didn't move unless they told me to move.

"I hear your husband and son are waiting outside for you." It was the first thing I heard when they were done with the exam, and I looked up at the doctor who'd spoken. She simply smiled as I stared and after a moment I looked back down, a tear slipping down my cheek the only reaction from me. "There's a whole team there too. FBI?"

"Don't." I wiped at my cheek as she sighed and kept quiet about the people waiting outside.

"I need you to lay down and relax. I'm going to hook you up to an IV drip, to keep you hydrated." She waited until I had settled into the bed. "Don't move, it's going to hurt if you do."

She quickly hooked me up to an IV and then watched me for a minute as I stared at the door. It wasn't like I was waiting for anyone to barge in, but more a way of shutting the doctor out. She got the message, and left the room without another word.

The fact that I had a group of people waiting outside for the doctor to be done with the exams made my skin crawl. I knew it wouldn't take long for someone to barge in and start asking me questions.

I was right but the person barging in wasn't who I was expecting. As Rossi walked in I stared at him, his hands in his pockets and his face expressionless. There was a reason they had sent him in—he was good at what he did and he would find out what happened.

"I'm glad you're alive," was all he said though, before he sat down and sighed in relief. "I haven't been able to relax in a couple of days. You mind?"

I shook my head, pleasantly surprised when he closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No questions?" I rasped out, still not having been able to ask for some water.

He glared at me, but the glint in his eyes told me he was just teasing. "You should close your eyes and try to sleep. I can stay here for a while before they get suspicious, but it's only holding off the inevitable. So take this time and relax."

"Could you hand me that cup of water then? I'm parched," I gestured to the cup on the nightstand and Rossi stood and handed it to me.

I drank slowly, only drinking to wet my throat and to be able to swallow like a normal person. He had sat down again and I didn't want to make him get up again so I held the cup, occasionally taking sips as the silence settled over me like a comforting blanket. It felt good to have someone look out for me, be there for me in a way that I'd never let anyone do before.

Any other person, and especially the ones on my team, would've asked me a million questions about what happened to me. But Rossi didn't seem to have trouble staying silent. His presence was what I needed to calm down and to let myself relax.