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HP is not mine nor will it ever be.

He awoke quickly, his heart pounding inside his rib cage. He already felt blood rush to his face in a rush. His words from last night repeated in his ears, the taste of them turned bitter in his mouth. I've loved her since I first saw her. It repeated itself, his mortification mounted. They knew. Which meant by breakfast time, everyone would know.

She would know.

He'd kissed her while under the influence of his brother's latest creation, and she had kissed him back for a moment but then shoved him away. He buried his palms into his eyes and wished he could remain hidden behind his covers forever. He never wanted to look at her.

Well that wasn't true. Of course he wanted to see her again. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, to stroke the slope of her jaw, to hold her hand, to hug her close, to study his lessons with her, to have her cheer for him on the Quidditch team, to have her love him...

But it would never happen. Not because of Draco fucking Malfoy, and because of what he had done last night. She'd probably never sit next to him again in Potions. She'd never make eye contact with him again. His mind fleetingly went to Lavender Brown, who had approached him almost immediately after everyone drank the love potion. She had initiated the kiss and while Ron couldn't think of anyone else but Hermione while she was kissing him...well he let her go at it. After a while, though, he had the uncontrollable urge to go find Hermione, and he couldn't stand to smell and taste Lavender any longer.

So he had just left and found her.

Yet she denied him after the first kiss. It wasn't like he expected her to just up and leave Malfoy anyway. He'd seen how the two of them looked at each other. He shook his head and sat up, his head and heart swam in turmoil. He was a joke compared to rich Malfoy.

The only new clothes he ever got were knit by his mother and always in the ugliest colors. All the other clothes he owned were passed down from his older brothers, same for his books. He didn't have anything really his to his name, except how well he performed on the Quidditch Pitch, and even then he wasn't as good as everyone else. He had to work twice as hard just to nearly be as good.

And Malfoy had whatever he wanted at his feet, whenever he wanted.

And worst of all, he had Hermione.

With a heavy heart, Ron finally got out of bed and got dressed for the day, his face tense and his eyes distant.

Her dreams were prolific. In the first few she was in the Library, searching through the Restricted Section to find a book on how to get over her fear of flying. She had just pulled a book down from the shelf to inspect it when she was sucked into it. She stood on the pages as if she was tiny and the book was the floor. All above her was darkness.

Then a figure loomed overhead and cast a shadow over her. She squinted up at it to see Draco squinting down at her. He blew a kiss and then shut the book around her. She was pressed between the pages but it didn't suffocate her.

Instead the pages turned to water and she started to float upwards. She kicked to go higher, to get herself some air, but she swam and swam and never broke the surface. She felt like she swam for several minutes. On and on she went. Upwards and upwards.

Then a mermaid was swimming next to her. The mermaid had yellow and orange hair and a face like someone she vaguely remembered from school. She tried to communicate to the mermaid that she wanted to go to the surface by pointing upwards, but the mermaid just watched her with a blank look.

Then someone grabbed her hand and pulled her backwards. She turned and she was suddenly standing in the Hogwarts Great Hall, seated at a feast. Everyone was wearing mourning colors.

Hermione looked down and saw that she was also dressed in all black. She looked around and saw all of her friends in both Gryffendor and Ravenclaw all somberly looking at the ground. She looked up at the podium, expecting to see Dumbledore at his regular spot, but he was not there. Instead there were a group of Aurors standing, with their arms folded across their chests. They were speaking, but Hermione couldn't hear them. She tried to get up to get closer, but Harry and Neville sitting next to her stopped her.

"What's happened?" She asked. Harry and Neville both replied, she could see their mouths moving, but she couldn't understand them or comprehend reading their lips. They might as well have just been opening and closing their mouths.

She drew in a calming breath and when she opened her eyes she was sitting at a lake shore, the sun was out and she was in a bathing suit. She looked around at the beautiful scenery and then realized someone was watching her, sitting next to her. She turned her head to the side to look. It was Ronald Weasley. He was in a bathing suit as well. A small tuft of red hair on his chest drew her attention and for whatever reason, it caused her to blush and look away. He caught her chin with his hand and turned her head back to look at him.

"This is real," he said as he leaned in and brushed his lips against her cheek and then on her lips. Feather light, but it made her heart skip.

She opened her eyes again and she was sitting next to Draco. He had a look of concentration on his face as he wrote on a parchment. She leaned her head against his shoulder, naturally at ease, and tried to get a glimpse of what he was writing, but whatever symbols he was writing, were unknown to her and made no sense. She nudged him, to ask him what he was doing, but he did not react to her.

"Draco?" She asked gently, and nudged him again. He shrugged his shoulder and continued writing.

"I need to figure it out," he said with conviction, "I'm going to figure it all out." He continued scribbling away on the parchment creating nonsensical symbols. Eventually he filled the parchment up with the scribbles and then set the quill down. He picked up the parchment and inspected it, then held it out to Hermione.

She looked at it, but didn't understand any of it. "I don't understand. What is it?" she asked with a confused expression.

"They are your feelings, so of course you don't understand. I think this one here means you love me, but all this right here is saying you don't care one way or the other." Draco didn't sound mad, but maybe a little disappointed. Hermione shook her head.

"That makes no sense at all, Draco." She said, "of course I care about you."

"Care is not love, Hermione. Tell me you love me." He put the parchment down and turned to face her. "I need you to tell me."

"Why? I mean. Love is a very deep and complicated emotion, and we are only fourteen," she replied sensibly.

"Tell me you love me," Draco repeated with more intensity. He put his hands lightly on her shoulders and leaned in a little closer.

Hermione looked between his grey blue eyes, her head and heart swimming in confusion about why this was such an important thing. Why did he want her to say it so badly? She elected not to say anything at all. Draco's brow furrowed in anger and he shook her shoulders a little forcefully.

"Tell me!" He nearly shouted.

She jerked awake, the angry tones of Draco still rang in her ears. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up. She put her dream out of her mind and started to get ready for the day. She did plan on having a talk with Draco, but it would be an apology, one for attacking his face with her mouth and the other for the kiss from Ron. She hadn't expected him to do it at all, and it had really come out of no where-at least to Hermione it had.

She had taken the last step down into the common room when Ron came down the boy's stairs. They made eye contact and Ron blushed deeply. "Her-Hermione." His voice cracked and he looked away. Hermione chewed her lip. She really hadn't expected to run into Ron, or considered what she would say to him.

"Ronald," she replied with his name. She self consciously put her hands into her pockets, for she didn't know what to do with them. Ron mimicked her stance with his hands in his own pockets.

"I...Well there are about a million different ways I imagined...last night going and none of them were exactly like it happened." Ron looked down at his feet and back up at her, his cheeks redder than she had ever seen. "I really...really do feel that way about you, Hermione. I always have. I just...I was a kid okay? I didn't know what to do about what I was feeling...and I acted like a bloody fool. I never should have done that." He leaned backwards against the chair he was closest to and sighed. "I know you are with Draco and I'm not asking you to leave him-I just...I.." He closed his eyes and then looked anywhere but at her. "Would we ever have had a chance?"

Hermione had felt awkward about things before, but she barely comprehended how out of place she was feeling. She had never once considered that Ron had been nasty to her since year one because he felt so strongly about her. She shook her head internally, that was no excuse and didn't make his behavior acceptable. It was a despicable thing to do and it constantly messed with her self esteem. She tightened her hands into fists in her pocket and set her jaw. "Ronald I have no idea if we would ever have a chance, because of how you chose to express your feelings towards me for the past three years. You were absolutely horrible and you made it your personal goal to be a complete ass any chance you got. You bullied me, made fun of me...and I'm supposed to be flattered that it is because you like me? No, we never would have had a chance, Ronald. You saw to that the first time you made fun of my hair!" She started off speaking calmly, but as she spoke her emotions started to voice themselves and her voice rose to shouting.

Hermione turned and stomped out of the room and went to breakfast.

Draco woke with a scowl on his face, as if it was permanently etched there. He scratched at his scalp as he got ready for the day, his stomach still churning in disgust at Ron's confession the night before. That prat definitely didn't deserve Hermione in his life-not even friendship. He'd prefer his girlfriend to never see that asshat again, but he knew it wasn't his decision to make-nor was he in a position to even bring it up. Hermione hadn't reciprocated the boy's feelings and she looked just as upset as Draco had when Ron had tried to kiss her.

The image made his skin crawl. Draco had naively imagined that Hermione would be the only girl he'd ever kiss and he be the only boy she'd ever kiss. He knew they were young, but Draco already knew they would spend the rest of their lives together. And it wasn't something that was so outrageous either. The Potter's, Weasley's, Longbottom's, and his own parents had all gotten together during their Hogwarts years and never separated. He knew Hermione was it for him, but something about her nature told him it was best to let her realize that all on her own, and not to mention it.

He could just see them and their future together so easily. With her help he would clean up and modernize Malfoy Manor, and change the colour palette completely. They'd turn it into a wonderful family home. Maybe even turn it into some sort of hotel, with house guests from around the world. It wasn't really a dream of his to run a hotel, but it would fill the house with happiness and not the ghosts of dark wizard's passed. Hermione and himself would have a few beautiful kids, hopefully an equal amount of boys and girls, and they'd all be extremely smart and the best of their classes. Maybe one would be a squib, and take after Hermione's parent's heritage and if one was, they'd still love them just the same.

He caught himself smiling in the bathroom mirror and he drew in a deep breath. That was still years away, however. And he shouldn't spend so much time getting his hopes up. He washed his face and brushed his teeth and then combed out his hair, choosing not to jell it back today, and he donned his robes.

In the Great Hall, he spotted Hermione sitting at the Ravenclaw table and his heart beat excitedly at her appearance. He sank into the seat next to her and immediately kissed her on the cheek. He pushed down any revulsion he felt towards the dorkiest Weasley sibling and instead focused on the light in his life. She turned sideways and smiled at him a little.

"Morning," she said faintly. "You aren't...I mean...you aren't mad at me for last night, are you?"

Draco decided that she was talking about when she attacked his face with hers, and grinned, "oh not at all. Feel free to kiss me like that anytime...I mean, within reason. Not in class or in plain sight anyway." She laughed once and rolled her eyes.

"That is not what I am talking about, Draco Malfoy." She looked concerned again and he wrapped his arm around her.

"You had nothing to do with that. I am not mad at you. Though I do want to punch Weaslebee in the face. I won't-of course. But I want to." Hermione didn't respond to his gibe and he almost took that as permission. He knew better though. Something about the kiss bothered her a bit more than she was letting on, he imagined.

The other Ravenclaw guys joined them at that point and they decided not to mention it at all. Breakfast was well on its way now and Michael had to point out;

"What's got all the Gryffindor's so quiet?" He asked, peering at the table behind Hermione. Hermione glanced behind her shoulder at her friends, who were all gazing at their food like it held the meaning of life, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Late night party..." She supplied, and refused to talk more on it.

"And then I told Draco that I loved her." Ron ran his fingers through his hair, in distress. His friends around him groaned. Harry was sitting on his robes with his Potion text book in his lap, Neville was sprawled out on the grass completely with his History book in front of him, and Seamus and Dean were both looking over Harry's notes on DADA. Ron had long since forgotten about his Transfiguration work before him. Harry had prompted him to talk about his snog session with Lavender and how they all noticed Ron leave the common room.

"Damn, mate," Seamus whistled. "You're lucky he didn't deck you."

"I'm sure he almost did, but Fred and George got back and gave me the antidote." Ron's face seemed to have taken on a permanent red shade. "And...this morning she came down the same time as me." The boy's all turned to look at Ron, with rapt attention. All their work lay before them forgotten. "I first apologized for how I used to treat her, but I explained it was because of how I feel towards her. And I asked if she ever thought we'd have a chance."

"No. No you didn't." Harry looked shocked. Harry and Neville were Ron's closest friends but they never imagined he had feelings towards Hermione. Though of course it made sense now. Even still, though, Hermione had Draco and you don't just ask someone something like that! The only thing this is going to do is create tension in a friendship that was already tenuous. Draco barely tolerated Ron and vice versa. Hermione was quick to reprimand anyone who broke the peace, but now? Hermione would probably stop hanging out with her Gryffindor guys all together because of Ron.

She didn't like confrontation at all and would rather do anything else in the world. She would most likely judge herself a lot better off if she just stayed away from them because of how awkward it would be. She would work to keep Draco and Ron as far away from each other as possible, as well as to not cause tension between Harry, Neville, and Ron, she wouldn't make them pick a side.

"I know it was stupid. I just...I had to know," Ron sounded as upset as he looked. The guys waited quietly for him to continue. "Basically she said no chance in hell and stormed out." For some reason, this relieved both Harry and Neville-the glance they exchanged communicated this-but they gave Ron consolatory looks.

"There's always Lavendy, mate," Seamus pointed out with a dimpled grin. Ron waved his hand absently and looked back at his homework, his heart still longed for the bushy haired smart girl.

Despite letting bygones be bygones and dropping the subject, Hermione couldn't shake the oppressive weight of guilt on her chest and shoulders. It wasn't her decision to kiss Ron, but she liked it. She finally admitted it to herself over her Runes homework. She was seated with Draco as usual during their afternoon break in a study hall, and he was blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil she was struggling with.

She realized how much she had liked the kiss from Ronald when she accidentally daydreamed and relived it. She felt him gently take her cheeks and her heart swelled. His lips brushed hers and they were so warm and soft, and it set about crazy sensations in her body. When her eyes fluttered open, Draco was looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

Her cheeks colored with embarrassment and she went straight back to her homework, and thus the guilt piled on. What did this mean?

Did she like Ronald more than Draco?

No. That was impossible. It was a silly notion. It was something else. Something she wasn't mature enough to understand. Her feelings for Draco were far more powerful and deep than anything she could say about Ron. He had mostly been a prick to her as long as she had known him, and only recently had they developed any sort of camaraderie and even then it was more a business relationship as they were lab partners.

Maybe because it was just unexpected? Hermione wasn't big on surprises, so maybe that was why the stupid kiss had such a lasting effect. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed deeply.

"Alright. I'll bite. What's up?" Draco asked, he smiled sideways at her as he closed his textbook. She looked at him blankly for a second.

"Hermione. I know you." He pointed out as his arms snaked across his chest. "You've been sitting here fifteen minutes staring at your Runes and you haven't written anything down. You might as well be waving a sign saying something is bothering you, so lets talk about it." It was moments like this that she disliked how observant Draco was. She sighed again.

"I just don't understand."

"What? The Runes? Impossible." Draco was trying to keep this light. He probably knew exactly what it was that was bothering her. She could see the stress in the corners of his eyes and the tightness around his mouth. His smile was a bit forced.

"No, not the Runes," she gestured sideways, "last night." As if the scene of her being kissed by Ron was next to them for them both to observe. Draco glanced sideways and ran a hand through his hair.

"What's bothering you about it, specifically? You could probably not get detention if you punched him in the face about it. I wouldn't mind that. So long as I got to see." Draco's smile was a bit more genuine this time, but his shoulders were tense. Hermione massaged the back of her neck with one of her hands.

"I...I don't know how to word it. But...but I can't stop thinking about it?" Hermione really didn't think this was something she should be talking to Draco about. A muscle worked in his jaw and his hands disappeared beneath the table, she imagined they were curled into fists. "I don't know why but I just..." She absently touched her lips, realized she just touched her lips, and dropped her hand into her lap like it shocked her. Draco put his head in his hand and looked at his lap for a second, his fourteen year old rage building. He looked back up at her, the edges of his cheeks a bit red.

"You liked it. You liked that Weasley kissed you." Draco assumed. Hermione's eyes widened.

She opened her mouth to begin her protest and utter denial of that, but she hesitated and only a wordless nonsensical sound leaked out. Draco pushed himself up to standing. "So you do! I bet it's not all that you wish you did!" His hands clapped down on the table. Hermione glared after him and stood slowly. She would not be looked down upon.

"That is ridiculous! Draco I told you I don't know why its bothering me, it just is!" She didn't-couldn't admit to how it made her feel, how it made her heart race and...tingle. Draco's jealously was quite clear.

"Don't lie to me Granger, you're terrible at it." He slammed his books into his bag and quickly shuffled away. Hermione had tears in her eyes as she sank down into her seat. She didn't understand what was going on.

The little lass wiped her eyes and tucked her feet underneath her and arranged her skirt. "I just don't understand it." She rambled again. Hagrid still didn't know what was bothering her, but whatever it was, she didn't understand it.

Hagrid sat her cuppa in front of her and she drew in a deep breath, "ready to talk about it?" Hagrid asked.

"Well." She started. "Fred and George Weasley made this...thing." Hagrid already didn't want to know everything but he didn't interject. "And what it did was bring uhm...emotion to the surface. Attraction." Hagrid really didn't want to know.

"And anyway, I'll skip-" she blushed, "Ronald Weasley kissed me, and he confessed to his brothers that he loved me." Hermione was blushing at this point and she ran one of her hands through her hair. "And this morning he told me just as much, without the influence of whatever the twins had made."

She looked confused and sighed, "and now Draco's mad at me because I guess on some level, I liked it. But I don't like Ron. Not like that, anyway." Hermione looked up at Hagrid for guidance. And a little bit of him died inside.

He never imagined he would have to give any Hogwarts student the talk. He scratched at his beard, he tried to start the conversation three times and each time his voice didn't work. He drew in a breath and closed his eyes. "You know about...reproduction, right Hermione? Puberty?" He was blushing very red and she just barely noticed.

"Of course," came her instant reply.

"You're at that time in your...womanhood...where you are gonna start being attracted to guys. You don't even have to like them, you'll just-anyway, you know how you feel about Draco and it's more than just your urges." Merlin in heaven, how did this fall on his shoulders? He wished he was anywhere but here. "And you know what you think about Ron. Just because that -er-it's-there is a difference between love and lust, is all. How are your classes going?"

Hermione looked just as awkward as Hagrid felt and she immediately launched into a very detailed and difficult discussion about her Arithmancy work.