It surprised me that the routine of a hospital actually helped me more than anyone had expected.
The first morning I took a nice, hot shower with help of a nurse, who had been appalled to see the bruises but hadn't said a word. Will had Garcia bring me some clothes and I just missed her when she dropped them off.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner came and went and so did Will and Henry that first day.
The second was worse though. The nightmares had kept me up all night and I was exhausted by the time that the nurse came to help with cleaning up. She didn't say anything as she put the bag over my cast, and kept silent for the most part. She never brought up the nightmares that I'd had, even though I knew that she had heard about my screaming.
It was after lunch that the doctor came to check on me. "I heard you had some issues last night." She waited for a reaction but I just stared at her. "If you want we can give you something for that. It's going to be a rough time with nightmares I assume."
"No." I shook my head and she raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. "I can handle the dreams."
"Okay, that's all up to you. You will be released tomorrow. I have some things that worry me but keeping you here longer won't change that. You would need to take good care of yourself Jennifer. I'm sure your husband will be of help in the next few weeks, while your wrist heals up. I have set you up with a diet, and you know you need to drink plenty of fluids."
"Is that really necessary after just three days?" I asked, surprised at her strictness about my eating and drinking enough.
"Your body gets used to a routine very quickly and you hadn't had anything to eat for four days. You eat well, so I imagine you won't really need the diet but it's for when you fall back, or need a reminder of what is good for you and what is enough."
Even though it would be unnecessary for me to follow a diet, I would keep an eye on my intake because I knew that it was important.
"Thank you." I said as I shifted, my body restless. "When can I go back to work?"
"Between four and six weeks. And you might want to be very careful in the weeks after." I sighed and the doctor smiled. "With your job I'd wish I could say you have to wait three months, because it's dangerous and your wrist is going to be weak for a while after I take off that cast."
"I think four to six weeks sounds great." I said quickly and she chuckled.
"You're doing great, Jennifer." She watched me for a moment, and I could see she had more to say so I stayed quiet. "I'd like to recommend a therapist. Going through something so traumatic...you'd need someone to talk to who's able to help."
"I'll think about it," I grunted out.
"Good, I'll leave her card on the night stand so that you can think about it. Don't forget to take it home with you," she said as she gently put the card on the night stand. She was careful not to startle me which was something I could appreciate. "I have to get going now, but whenever you need something, you can have me paged. I'll come by tomorrow to check on you one last time before you leave."
"Thank you doctor," I said softly as she turned and walked out of the room. I glanced at the card, and then realized that Will still had my phone. I stared at the hospital phone, trying to remember his phone number. I had always been bad at remembering phone numbers and I had been very easy with putting them in my phone and then forgetting them all together.
But I remembered the land line at home, and I figured with Henry he would be home by now. So I dialed and waited.
"Will LaMontagne," I heard his voice and I closed my eyes, my heartbeat slowing and my body relaxed, even though I hadn't even realized I'd been tense.
"Hey Will...it's me," I said lamely. "Could you bring me my phone when you visit? Are you going to come by today?"
"Chère," he said, a smile lacing his voice. "Of course I'll visit today. Henry wants to see you just as bad as I do. I'll bring your phone, but can you tell me why? Are they going to keep you much longer?"
"No, they will release me tomorrow, I just need some way to contact people," I said, and he hummed. "Anyway, that's all..."
"I'll bring your phone, and some nice, comfortable clothes for tomorrow." He cleared his throat. "I'll see you in an hour. I was just getting Henry ready."
"See you then," I replied and then put the phone back on the horn as I stared at it. With my phone I could check out what this therapist did, that was so good that my doctor wanted to recommend her.
When my husband and my son walked into the room an hour later, I knew that even though I wanted to be able to be a normal, happy woman around them, I had to work really hard to act at least a little bit normal.
Mostly around Will though. Henry had this way that made me feel happy even if it was just for a minute and as he babbled on about how he'd done in school that day, I listened with a smile and glanced at Will for just a second.
He was staring at me, but didn't say a word for a while. When Henry fell silent, done with telling about his day in school, Will took a deep breath.
"You know I love you right?"