I stared at him, the first thing popping into my mind was that he was going to leave me. And it left me breathless.
"What's wrong?" I asked slowly, watching his face for any clue as to what it might be that had him ask such a thing.
"Nothing...I mean, everything seems wrong and I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what." He took a deep breath. "And I kind of have to leave in a minute because they called me back into work to finish a report."
"Really?" I asked, wondering if he was lying. Nothing pointed to a lie though, but I suspected something else was going on that he wasn't telling me.
"Apparently I'm the only one with all the facts and they want me to fix whatever mistake they made so that they can file it. It's one of those things," he shook his head, his mouth set in a hard line. "I'm...I mean, I'm taking it home tonight, it's just that they called me while we were on our way here."
"You took some time off right?"
"I did. This is from before that, it's my last case and they tried to finish the report with my notes but they can't." Will watched me and I knew he was looking for some kind of a reaction but I had none. I didn't know how to react to it at all.
This was all so random.
"Why don't you go get your report and then come back to pick up Henry? That way I can spend some time alone with him and you don't have to worry that he's going to be in the way." I'd hoped for some time alone with my baby. Somehow, he helped me see the good instead of the bad.
While Will took a minute to think, I stared at Henry. He was still so innocent and I wanted to keep it that way. If I had a say in it, he would stay innocent his whole life but of course, that was impossible. He had to grow up eventually. But right at that moment he didn't have a clue of what was wrong with the world, he was just a happy kid still.
"Are you sure?" Will asked, and I turned and looked at him again.
"I can take care of him for a little while, Will. I mean, he's my son," I said, feeling like he was keeping me from spending time with my son. I was sure that he saw what I saw though, because when he blinked and widened his eyes, I knew what was coming.
"I didn't mean it like that! I meant are you sure you're okay with..." He shook his head, not sure what to say. "Okay. I'll come back for him in an hour."
He moved forward, then changed his mind and waved at me. Henry, who was still playing with the buttons of the bed, waved at Will before Will left the room. The fact that he hadn't folded me into the bed yet was a good thing and as I glanced at him, I realized that it might be unfair to put something so big as me feeling better on his little shoulders.
"Hey Henry, you want to come cuddle with me?" I asked after a moment of watching him. It was something that we did when I wasn't on a case; I'd pick him up from school and we'd either cuddle while watching a movie, or sit in the kitchen, Henry doing his homework while I either finished up a case report or just helped him.
"Yes," he said softly, before climbing on the bed. I helped him as best as I could but because of my wrist it was harder than I thought. When he was settled into my side, I ran my hand through his long hair and sighed, the feeling of his little body grounding me, taking away even the possibility of thinking about what happened.
"How was school today sweetie?" I asked, for a moment not realizing he'd already told me, but he told me again anyway. He slowed down talking, and was so comfortable with his head on my arm, his arm over my stomach, that by the time he was done telling me about school he fell asleep.
I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing, enjoying it more than I thought I would after only a couple of days.
While Henry had fallen into a deep sleep, I stared at the door. It wasn't conscious, I wasn't waiting for anyone but my mind races as I realized I'd be home for the next four to six weeks. More than enough time to spend with my son.
It was a good feeling.
That feeling came to an abrupt halt when the door opened and Garcia and Rossi walked in. Garcia, I saw in the first moments, had been told to keep her enthusiasm down for me.
"Hey sweetie," she said softly, noticing Henry fast asleep by my side. Rossi just tipped his imaginary hat with a smile and sat down.
"Hey Pen. How are you?" I asked. It was strange. Garcia was my friend, Henry's godmother but I felt uncomfortable with her in the room, I didn't know what to say.
"Me?" She hissed, anger on her face. "I'm not here for me but for you! How are you? Is there anything I can do for you? Get you? Name it, it'll be yours."
"What about a million dollars?" I asked, smiling. With Henry with me, I could forget everything and it was a good thing. It helped me with not pushing away everyone, it helped me with not wanting to be alone all the time.
Garcia blinked, but recovered quickly and grinned at me. "You know I can do it."
"Yea, let's not," Rossi said with a smirk on his face, "I'm not in the mood to have to arrest you, and I don't think that's what JJ wants either."
I shook my head, the smile still on my face. "Nope."
"Anything? I feel so bad about not being able to find your location in time..." She had effectively, and without knowing, brought me back to the present. The smile disappeared and my heart skipped a beat.
"No. I'm fine."