A/N : Sorry I haven't posted a new chapter in a while.

None of the characters you recognize are mine but enjoy !

By the time everything was finsihed with officer Curdy everyone was still a bit shaken and decided to have a nice quiet day inside watching movies.

All the little kids and teenagers were sat on the floor and the couch was full which left and arm chair in the corner. Rick and Kate looked at each other and they quickly rushed to sit in it first in the process something went wrong and they both collapsed onto the arm chair in a fit of laughter Beckett on Castle's lap laughing hyserically.

When they finally calmed down and stopped laughing they looked at each other becoming aware of their close proximity until they also noticed everyone staring at them.

"Would you two just shhh and be quiet" Jim said from the sofa.

At that Castle and Beckett stopped laughing and simply watched the movie sneaking glances at each other here and there each time Castle noticed a faint blush on her cheeks.

It was 4pm when they all stopped watching movies and decided to order in.

When the pizza arrived Beckett insisted that she get it saying 'I'm the cop and its my job to keep you all safe' she walked out to the end og the drive to get it and on her way back she noticed something, something that simply made her heart stop. It was a read light under a car on the drive she put the pizza down and knelt to the floor to get a better look at it. It read 5 seconds and Beckett's world stopped and she ran as quickly as possible beofre she heared it go off and she got propeled forward from the explosion landing on a patch of grass, looking at he eyes she took a few deep breaths and stayed like that.

"KATE!" She heard Castle call along with other people she simply started to get up beofre a bunch of people rushed over to her and tried pushing her back down she swatted their hands away and standing up brushing her clothes off which now had holes here and there.

"I'm fine, I'm fine" she said still taking deep breaths, she started looking herself up and down and noticed a few cuts and walked back to the house and into the kitched reaching for a wash cloth and her grandad's secret stash of alchole under the sink. She leant over the sink and dabbed the cloth over her cuts whilst doing this she noticed that everyone had followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm fine" she said once again. She held her arm over the sink and started to slowly pour the alchole on her cuts only making a slight hiss and the first sting but other wise remaining silent. When she was finished she pushed her way through her family and up the stairs to get changed.

Not even a minute after she closed the door Castle came in and she broke, she fell to the floor in silent tears and she feels Castle put his arm on her back trying to sooth her.

"Castle I'm no super cop I can't do this, I'm scared and I'm terrified and I have PTSD and I can't even hear a loud noise without nearly jumping out of my own skin." Kate suddenlt opened up just giving him some og her most trusted secrets.

"You can do this Kate do you want to know how I know" when she finally looked at him he continued wiping away the tears that continued to fall "cause you Katherine Beckett is the srongest person I know and you may not feel it but you are and when you can't be strong anymore just lean on me and I'll help you I promise."

When he finished Beckett practically flung herself into his arms whispering "I'm so glad I have you."

"The feeling is mutal now why don't you get changed I think there's an ambulance down staires for you." He said and left the room leaving her to sit there with a new fear coming to surface.

Beckett slowly came down the stairs 10 minutes later freezing when she saw the EMT waiting for her at the front door. She couldn't go to the hospital she just couldn't she walked down the stairs and tried walking towards the back of the house away from the paramedic she was quickly stoped by an array of uncle's suddenly blocking her path. Her dad gentley takes her hand and she struggles against it trying to dig in her feet.

"No ! NO ! STOP IT LET GO OF ME !" She was screaming now and Jim had to let go of her not knowing what to do she feel to the ground covering herself with her arms.

Rick went to walk forwards but was stopped by Jim "don't worry" he said and gave him a reasurring smile.

"Kate" he said gently and quietly so only she could hear. He was knelt down besides her.

"I don't wonna go" she said quietly.

"Go where ?" He asked trying to play dumb.

"You know where."

"Why ?"

"I'm scraed"

"Why ?"

"Cause last time I went I almost din't leave. They are gonna poke and prode me look at my heart and I am fine there is nothing wrong with my heart but then they are gonna keep me in over night and I don't think I can do that again. I've been so careful I've done everything they've told me to don't eat this don't drink that don't do this." A stary tear made its way down her cheek "It's not fair I've been shot at been in explosions been trapped in a freezer almost being frozen to death" as she continued to list them off her voice evemtually getting higher and higher and she could eventually hear peole gasping "I know I'm fine so why can't people just believe me ?" She asked standing and shoving her way past her unle's and storming out the back door.

Rick followed her out and sat down next to her on the grass "you know when I was 14 I had an accident I won't go into details but lets just say it was bad I was in hospital nearly twice as long as you it was awful machines always going off saying how fine I wasn't and I was terrified not only for me but my mother I couldn't leave her online in this world. To this day I'm terrified of the hospital but when its for the people you care you learn to distance those fears for them. So why don't we do this he checks out your wounds out here with no one watching and if you really want I'll get my old ones get checked out if you're really that scared or want me to go first."

"I don't want you to do that but I will get mine checked out but only if you refuse to leave." she said and Rick nodded waving a hand over his shoulder for the paramedic to come over.

"I'm proud of you, you know" Rick said.

"I know" she said and leaned her head on his shoulder until she had to remove it so the paramedic could do his job.