A.N: Thanks for your review Guest! I'm glad to hear that my fanfic is fresh to you. Honestly, regarding the whole gary stu harem nonsense, I think that's because of the nature of the series itself (it happens a lot in Touhou, and from what I've heard, MLP fics too,) which is really unfortunate because the series are supposed to be about the MC girls and their friends, and not make them satellite love interests to some dummy nobody cares about. Maybe if we keep writing different stories than that, it will change.
Also, I'm sorry if some parts seem a bit lacking in detail. I keep getting paranoid that my story's pace is too slow, and I need to hurry things along. I'll try to be more detailed when I can.
Also, I didn't feel like splitting this chapter up, so enjoy an extra long chapter, please.
CHAPTER EIGHT: BORDERLANDS
-Warechu hissed as he turned his head downwards, narrowly avoiding a shining, metal bolt that whizzed past his head, and lodged itself firmly into the rust-caked frame of the buggy. Rom and Ram ducked down below the seats with Bit and Torrent , since the back seats had been turned into figurative pink pincushions from the arrows and spears that were poking through them. Linda was clenching her teeth as she swung the steering wheel frantically.
"Geez!" Warechu shouted, "Are you trying to make us nauseous before we all die?!"
"No!" Linda shouted back over the noise, "I'm trying to get us NOT killed!" A loud metal CLANG erupted from behind Linda, followed by Warechu squeaking loudly as another bolt hit the car, nicking Warechu's ear and causing it to bleed like a smashed ketchup package.
"Well do it better!" Warechu pleaded as he reached for his ear. He almost tumbled right off of the buggy as a hail of bolts rained onto the car, emitting a terrible choir of metal clangs as Rom screamed and threw herself into Ram's arms. She cried as she shifted uncomfortably in place, sobbing like a sad wreck as Ram pouted her cheeks, wincing from her wound's pain.
"Stupid mutant bullies." Ram growled, "If I had a magic staff, I'd kick their butts." Torrent sighed as Bit looked sadly...almost longingly at their mutant bandit pursuers. Rom frowned at them as she sniveled. Linda jerked the steering wheel to the right, causing everybody to shriek as they tumbled nearly out of the car. The sand where the car would have gone burst into the air with a loud KABOOM, erupting and bursting around like a volcano that was blasting out tan soot, spraying the heated mixture of sediments about in an angry cloud.
"Cripes!" Warechu squealed, "Now they're using fuckin' explosives!"
"Great observation skills there, first mate." Linda growled as she swerved the car wildly around a small dune in front of them. Rom flinched as she was swung towards the edge of the car, almost knocking Bit and Torrent out as they dug their mutated fingernails into the red leather seats of the car. Rom's eyes shot wide open when she saw a thin, yet muscular grey mutant with bulging yellow eyes that had red sclera. He rode upon a rusty red motorcycle that was jagged and cut on the sides to look like knife-sharp flames were erupting from it, with spikes on the back that were adorned with human skulls. Torrent's eyes shot wide open as the mutant cackled, and pulled a sharp, rusty, long sickle from behind himself; it's blade reddened from a combination of oxidation and blood, yet was still sharp enough to cut atoms and sturdy enough to survive the apocalypse. The mutant rider grinned, showing his sharp, pointy yellow teeth, s he raised the sickle high into the air.
WHACK!
Ram through a small rock at the mutant, causing him to drop his sickle into the rough desert sand, allowing it to collide with the front tire of the motorbike.
POP!
The tire burst open like a balloon making contact with a porcupine's quills. The mutant rider screeched like a frightened owl as he flipped over the handlebars, himself and his bike tumbling like weeds on speed as they kicked up a dust storm.
"Serves you right!" Ram yelled behind the car, sticking her tongue at the fallen, yet miraculously living mutant as he twitched erratically upon the tan, sandy ground. More mutants on motorcycles began to close in on the car, their riders pulling out all manners of sharp, dangerous poles, knives, and utensils as they screamed with fury, their bikes leaving angry trails of sparkling dust behind them. Linda swerved as another eruption of sand went off just a meter away from the car, blowing sand and ash at the somehow unfazed mutant riders. Linda glanced down at her steering wheel, the corroded fuel gauge catching her eye. it was a simple gauge of the amount of fuel left in the car, with a small red needle pointing to "F" for full, and "E" for empty.
It was pointing very, very close to the "E."
"No good," Linda hissed, "If we run out of fuel now..."
"Now we're running out of fuel?!" Warechu screamed as he fell onto the back seat of the buggy, dodging a javelin that lodged itself into the frame where his heart had been moments earlier.
"No, We're magically gaining more of it." Linda barked as she rolled her eyes.
"No need to be so pissy, geez." Warechu barked back.
"Well, YOU try driving a rickety piece of junk with no fuel past explosions." Linda snapped back "Then maybe you'll understand." Rom, Ram, Bit, and Torrent's eyes widened as they all looked in front of the buggy, Rom's lip trembling a bit.
"M...Miss Linda..." Rom whimpered.
"What?" Linda hissed as she swerved the car out of the way of a barrage of razor sharp spears.
"Cliff!" Ram yelled with panic as she pointed ahead. Linda snapped her head back to the front of the car, and her heart nearly stopped. Before them was a strange, very deep fjord that bordered a rather green, foliage-rich plateau, shaded by many thick trunked trees with branches and large leaves that jutted out like an umbrella, all swaying in the gentle wind current on the other side. The gorge itself was deep enough to fill with all of the junk in the Gamindustri Graveyard, and still not completely fill it, with a raging, rapid river cutting towards the sea at the very bottom of it, leaving a deep, "V" shaped crevice lined with jagged, brown sandstone on the desert side, and even more jagged and craggily sparkly granite on the forest's side, as if the river divided the entire universe in half.
"Well shit." Linda muttered under her breath. She looked back and forth across what little desert there was left in front of the car, wincing as another burst of sand exploded from the ground. That was when she saw it; a sand dune, perfectly sloped like a ramp leading towards the forest side of the impossibly deep canyon, it's quartz grains glistening in the sun and wind like a sandstone savior sent to bring deliverance upon the world. Linda smirked as she turned towards the dune, preparing her foot upon the car's gas pedal as she focused.
"Everybody," Linda sighed, "If we don't make it out of this one alive...then I want you to know that I'm really sorry for killing all of you." Everybody else's eyes went wide.
"What do you-" Warechu began to say, but he looked in front of the car, and saw as Linda began to floor the gas pedal, rocketing the car up the dune at speeds unimagined.
"Oh fuck no!" Warechu squealed as he fell into Ram's lap, "Nononononononononononononooo!" Ram and Rom threw their arms around each other, while Bit and Torrent shut their eyes, cupped their hands over their eyes, and whimpered. The edge of the dune approached at breathtaking speeds, filling everybody's ears with the whooshing of the air as it looked like they were about to launch off into space.
"My only regret," Warechu cried softly, "Was not being good enough for my dear angel Compa." The Car rocketed over the top of the dune, roaring through the air like an angry dragon chasing a troublesome bird as it spewed it's last bits of black, smoky burned gas behind itself. Rom screeched like a frightened bird as Ram threw her hands over Rom's eyes, her own eyes wide and shaky as she whimpered. Bit and Torrent continued to cover their eyes as they cried loudly, like a pair of babies on a noisy airplane...that was about to crash into a tree. As Linda looked around...she smiled for what felt like the world's longest second; She felt the powerful, but gentle wind brush against her entire body like a silky soft lover's embrace as she stared to her left. She saw the vast ocean beyond the crevice she was over, in all of its vastness and blueness, shimmering with white specks like the tears of a beautiful woman frozen in time, overshadowed by fluffy, comfy white clouds scattered about that looked like one might love sleeping on one. Linda inhaled deeply as she turned her head back towards the front of the car.
Her smile faded when she saw that they were falling towards the grassy ground at a far faster velocity than she thought.
"Oh-" Linda began to mutter, but the car collided with the ground before she could finish. loud crashes, shatters, and crumbles exploded with noise around Linda as the car flipped and tumbled forwards like a domino that was dropped onto the concrete. Pain pulsed through her body as the screams and cries of the other passengers burst out from all around her. Up, down, left, and right all blended together into a visceral whirlpool of pain and chaos that showed the poor girls and mouse no mercy. Linda clenched her teeth as the car flipped one final time, crashing down upon its axels since the tires had long since parted with the doomed, broken machine.
Linda heaved and huffed with all of her lungs' might as she slowly looked around. The car was utterly totaled, with its frame fragmented with tiny bits of it still dangling in places...crooked as a zigzag line all over. The front of the car was compressed against a large, umbrella-like tree's massive, bumpy, wooden trunk, smoking and sizzling like Blanc after Vert mentions chests. She quickly flipped completely around to look at her passengers. The seats of the car were empty save for a few bolts, arrows, and spears that got impaled through them.
"Oh fuck." Linda whispered as she tried to catch her breath, "Fuck...please don't be dead." She crawled out from the car's driver seat, limping and coughing as she clutched her rib cage.
"Fuck...Hurts..." Linda wheezed as she stumbled awkwardly away from the twisted, crushed tin can-like car wreck she was responsible for. After wincing her eyes and shaking her head slowly, she tilted her head up, and squinted as she looked around the knee high grass that was surrounding her. She could hear a lot of shouting, howling, and high pitched screeching far off to her left. She turned her head to the sight of the other side of the canyon...the desolate, dune-dominated wasteland that she...and hopefully her passengers...had left behind.
The dusty, tan plateau's edge was covered by a massive line of rusty, dusty cars and motorbikes that the mutants had ridden over to the area. Several jagged pieces of rusty, poorly-painted metal dangling from the jagged bits of rock on the cliff suggested that several mutants had tried to follow them across...and failed. The mutants, all of whom looked like tiny blotches from the other side of the gorge, were screeching, jumping, and thrashing furiously as they leapt out of their junky vehicles and threw spears and bolts into the ravine; a vain final effort. Linda smirked at the sight of the angry mutants as they danced and stomped about wildly, tossing more sharp metal objects into the ravine than Linda thought she would ever see.
"Fuckers..." Linda chortled quietly to herself. She coughed harshly and fell to her knees as the pain in her stomach and ribs flared up, as if she had been kicked in them again. She hissed and heaved under the noise of the howling, angry, disappointed mutants that were far from harm, but close enough to be a nuisance. She looked away from the mutants back towards the grass, scanning it carefully as a shiver went down her spine.
"Warechu?" Linda weakly called out, "Rom? Ram? Bit? Torrent? Anybody?" Linda stumbled about the grass, clenching her ribcage and struggling to stay on her feet as she swayed from side to side. Her pace became more frantic and rapid as she breathed rapidly and deeply, like a bull that had just outrun a speeding car. Her eyes became foggy and moist with tears as she saw no trace of her friend or hostages anywhere.
"Please..." Linda sniffled out as she stumbled towards the cliff, "Please don't tell me that you all fell into the cliff." Linda awkwardly limped over to the cliff, and got down on her knees as she clutched her hands over her heart. She slowly peeked over the edge of the cliff. It was the same world-splitting crevice she had jumped over for sure, but now she could make out tiny, splattered, burning dots near the river, upon the rocks, as if a few ants had fallen from too great of a height and had been smashed apart. None of the dots moved...nobody down there survived. Linda swallowed a massive gulp of air as she heaved her tears back.
"No..." Linda whimpered, "Trick's gonna kill me if you're all dead..."
"BOO!" A loud, high pitched voice cried out from behind Linda. Linda squeaked like a terrified kangaroo mouse as she flipped over onto her back. Ram, smiling like the scamp she was, crashed on top of Linda, giggling as she slapped her hands off to the side. Linda screamed in agony as Rom collided with her ribs, her pent up tears finally flying loose like arrows, sparkling like beautiful ice crystals for the brief moments they were airborne.
"Gotcha!" Ram chirped, "You really didn't see me coming, did ya?"
"Oh gods, my fucking ribs!" Linda cried pitifully as she clenched her hands. Ram frowned, and slapped Linda across her face.
"Hey!" Ram shouted, "I thought I said NO bad words!"
"Ram, stop!" Rom cried out as she ran over to the pair, "It's really mean to hurt Miss Linda like that."
"But she said a bad word." Ram protested as she stepped off of The squirming, crying pale elf girl, "Besides, she almost got us all killed in that car crash!"
"But...we're all okay," Rom argued back as she turned her head away for a second, "Right, guys?"
"My ear hurts like nothing else," Warechu grumbled as he stepped forwards, gripping his nicked ear with his right hand, "But I guess that's better than bein' dead, chu."
"Why Linda cry?" Bit asked as she and her sister walked shortly behind Warechu, "We all okay!"
"Maybe she hungry?" Torrent inquired as she scratched her bumpy little chin, "It not work. We have no food." Linda hissed as she slowly rose to her feet, clutching her ribs...with an enormous grin as a few extra tears fell off of her cheeks.
"You...you guys are alive!" Linda sputtered, "I...We're saved! We're really, really saved!" Linda winced as she threw her arms around Ram, cringing with pain as she did so. Ram's eyes shot wide open, and she flailed her arms as Linda embraced her like a momma bear protecting her cub, squeezing poor little Ram, and her own poor little ribcage.
"Aw geez, lady." Ram cried out, "What is with you?!" Rom smiled as she approached her sister and kidnapper.
"Miss Linda is just really happy to see us." Rom said quietly, "She must have been very worried."
"Of course I was worried!" Linda wailed loudly as she released Rom, "If anything had happened to you...then...your sister...would ki-...be sad for the rest of her life."
"We're trying to make that broad feel bad enough to pay more attention to you," Warechu chimed in as he stepped forward, "Not make you dead and her suicidal."
"I know that," Ram insisted, "But next time, could you try to keep us from getting killed a little better?"
"Aren't you CPUs?" Bit asked, "Why need Linda help?" Rom frowned as she turned to the conjoined mutant twins.
"We don't have our staves, so we can't use our magic," Rom explained, "And besides...HDD makes us really tired, so we can't use it for very long." Bit and Torrent both frowned at this statement.
"So...no more fast?" Torrent asked as she gestured towards the burning, smoking, crumpled wreck of a car they had once rode. Linda shook her head.
"Even if that thing wasn't turned into scrap metal," Linda said, "It ran out of gas when we jumped over to this side, so we're gonna have to hoof it the rest of the way to Lastation." Everybody sighed as they slumped their shoulders.
"Well, at least the muties won't chase us anymore," Warechu said as he pointed to the other side of the gorge. The furious mutants had begun to give up as they began to re-enter their vehicles and drive off into the distance. Linda frowned as she looked towards the moist-eyed mutant twins, who stared at the retreating mutants with the longingness of a dog waiting for their owner.
"Sorry, kids," Linda sighed, "Maybe you can catch a train back from Lastation or something?" Both mutant girls shook their heads.
"We help you flee," Bit sighed.
"Tribe hate us now," Torrent added, "Can't go back. Ever." Rom and Ram seemed teary-eyed for a second, before Ram grinned and patted the mutant twins on their back.
"That's okay!" Ram chirped brightly, "You two can come with us! We can be friends!"
"Woah, wait! Hold on!" Warechu spoke up as he turned to the little girls, "Who said that-"
"Yeah!" Rom agreed, ignoring Warechu as she moved to Bit and Torrent's other shoulder, "Blanc and Mina said we should have more friends and play with more people, anyway." Bit and Torrent both smiled through their tears as they each looked into the Lowee twins' eyes.
"Friends?" Bit asked as she began to smile. Rom and Ram both grinned widely as they hugged Bit and Torrent tightly, as if trying to squeeze the air out of a big bag.
"Yes!" Ram squeaked like an excited little girl on Christmas morning, "You can be our friends!" All four of the girls squealed happily as they hugged and squirmed around, giggling happily as they shed a few tears of joy. Warechu sighed and shook his head.
"Great," Warechu sighed, "More fuckin' screaming kids following us around."
"Well, it'll keep the twins busy," Linda sighed with a slight smirk, "And besides, we can probably drop them off in Lastation."
"Or take them to CFW Trick," Warechu chuckled, "I bet he'd be totally into them. Shit, he'd probably pay us extra." Linda sighed as a cold shiver shot through her spine.
"Maybe he would." Linda whispered, "But...fuck that guy."
...