I decided to keep it going. I hope you like it.
No matter what she did, Karma couldn't stop crying.
She cried on the bus on the way to school and again on the way home. Amy had been getting rides to and from campus with Reagan, so there was no one to see Karma's tears. And that only made her cry harder.
She cried at night when she was alone, which was like every night, because Amy was always out with Reagan. Amy said she had to do it, that she had to spend so much time with her girlfriend.
Karma was really starting to hate that word. Girlfriend. Girlfriend.
"I have to make sure Reagan knows she's my top priority," Amy said after she cancelled plans with Karma again. "She doubted me once, I can't let it happen again."
Karma wanted to point out that Reagan hadn't been the only one to doubt Amy. Or that Reagan's doubts had gone so far and so deep that she'd even planned an elaborate break-up ruse just to put Karmy together. But as much as she wanted to tell Amy all that, Karma knew she couldn't. It wouldn't be right or fair and if Amy was ever going to be hers, Karma was determined she'd win her over fair and square.
That was more than she thought Reagan had done for her. The few times they'd hung out together since Reagan and Amy left her crying in the movie theater, Karma had done everything she could to get Reagan alone. She wanted to ask her how she could do this, how she could go from trying to put the two soulmates together to basically stealing Amy from her. But Reagan made sure they were never alone and if they were, she ignored Karma completely.
It was a sure sign of her guilty conscience, Karma thought.
Karma cried on the bus and she cried when she was alone but her breaking point came when she cried on a date with Liam. He'd been trying so hard to win her back and even though Karma knew he wasn't what she wanted or who she wanted, he was better than nothing. And he was sweet. He brought her flowers and talked to her parents and did everything the perfect boyfriend would do. Liam was just that. Perfect.
Except he wasn't Amy. And Amy was all Karma wanted. And Liam knew it too, especially when Karma suddenly burst into tears on their date.
"You're always going to love her, aren't you?" he asked. Liam didn't sound mad or like he was upset at basically being used. He just sounded like a guy who knew he'd never measure up.
"i'm sorry," Karma said. And she really was. She didn't want to hurt Liam. She'd never wanted that, not even when she'd lied to him for all that time. "I can try," she said. "I can try and be a better girlfriend." And there was that word again and Karma broke down into more tears, burying her face into Liam's chest, his strong arms wrapped around her.
Liam held her tight for what seemed like forever. He wished he could be what she needed because deep down, he really did love Karma. She was the first person besides Shane who Liam had ever really let in. It hadn't worked out like he'd hoped, and he knew he'd been an asshole for only liking her because she was a lesbian, but he still wouldn't have traded the time he'd spent with Karma for the chance to sleep with all the lesbians in Austin.
"I'll help you," he said. "I'll help you get Amy because I want you to be happy. And you two belong together."
Karma didn't know what to say. She was happy, so very very happy, but she remembered the last person who had said they'd help her. Reagan had promised and now she was off somewhere having hot and sexy makeouts, way sexier than Karma ever thought she could be, with Amy.
Liam's plan was simple. He'd have a party. Or, rather, Shane would have a party. "It'll be like the first one you and Amy came to," he said. "The one where Shane decided you should be homecoming queens." He figured it would be a trip down memory lane and there would be plenty of ways for he and Shane to keep Reagan and Amy apart long enough for Karma to get some time with her bestie.
The night of the party arrived quickly and Karma made sure she dressed as sexy as she could. She was competing with Reagan after all and, like her or not, Karma didn't know many sexier girls than the DJ. Sometimes, she thought that was all Reagan had going for her. She was hot, she could kiss (Karma had seen that in action), and she was sure the older girl had already taken advantage of Amy and pushed her into sex. Lesbians, Karma remembered Shane saying, were very aggressive.
As the night wore on and every attempt Shane and Liam made to separate Reagan and Amy failed, Karma was getting more and more desperate and more and more drunk. And when even Liam seemed to give up and started paying attention to some girl from Squirkle, Karma really fell.
She lost count of how many shots she took or even how many she let the nameless guys she met take off of her. She knew that wasn't the kind of behavior that would get Amy back, but she thought it might get her attention, at least. But it didn't even seem to do that.
Reagan and her really, really short skirt and almost not even there top had Amy's undivided attention.
The longer the part went on, the more Karma tried to convince herself she didn't care anymore. It was too much for her to handle. She couldn't compete with Reagan and she knew it. She'd been kidding herself to think that all those years of friendship and cuddling and sleepovers and a few weeks of pretending to be lesbians was enough to compete with DJ Hot Stuff.
Karma had one last drink and staggered into the hallway. She didn't feel good, not good at all. She found an empty bedroom and laid down on the bed, hoping that maybe that would make the room stop spinning. She was almost out when someone slid onto the bed next to her.
"Amy?" she asked. Karma was hoping that maybe her best friend had finally come to check on her.
"No," said a voice she knew, but couldn't place. "It's me, Karma."
Lauren.
Karma tried to sit up. She didn't want Lauren to see her like this, it would just give her ammo to use against her. But as soon as she sat up, the room spun even more and Karma dropped back to the bed, her eyes squeezed shut.
"Take it easy," Lauren said. Karma was surprised by how soft her voice was and how little of Lauren's usual meanness there was. "I saw you out there, you drank a lot."
Karma didn't flinch when she felt Lauren's hand on her arm or when it slid up and brushed some of her hair out of her face. It didn't feel as weird as Karma would have expected. It actually felt kinda nice.
"I know how badly you're hurting," Lauren said. "I've been there. Before we moved here, I was in love with my best friend too. He was a guy, of course, but it's still sort of the same thing."
Karma smiled, or thought she did (she was really drunk) and nodded. This new nice Lauren was a little confusing, but Karma liked her a little. But she'd never admit it.
"Amy's stupid," Lauren said and even though Karma would usually argue with anyone who said that, she really couldn't disagree right then. "She's so caught up in the hottie, she doesn't see what's right in front of her."
If Karma had been a little more sober, she might have wondered if Lauren was really talking about Amy or her own best friend. But, either way, she totally thought Lauren was right.
Lauren's hand rested against Karma's cheek and the redheaded girl turned into it. Lauren wasn't Amy or even Liam, but she was paying attention to her and that was what Karma really needed.
"Karma?" Lauren asked and her voice sounded very tiny (and a little bit drunk) and Karma managed to open one eye and look at the other girl. "Can I kiss you?"
Those were the last words Karma had ever expected to hear. But she couldn't help it. She nodded. And then Lauren did it, she kissed her! It was a little awkward and kinda tentative but Karma thought most first kisses were like that. And, as first kisses went, Karma thought it was pretty good.
So pretty good that when Lauren broke the kiss and pulled away, Karma, even as drunk as she was, caught her and pulled her back in. The second kiss was less awkward and there was much more behind it. Karma even thought she heard Lauren moan a little, but that might have been her. It was a nice kiss, a very nice kiss.
And so was the third and the fourth and all the kisses that followed. They were so nice, in fact, that neither girl ever noticed Amy who had come looking, watching from the door, or saw the sad tears running down her face.