I woke up slowly, the sunlight streaming into my room. Finally, the weekend. I took a deep breath, arching my back, stretching my arms above my head, and lifting my chest towards the sky. This week had been incredibly stressful, so I was excited to have a day that I didn't have to go into work.
I finally slid out of bed, the silky sheets clinging desperately to my sweaty body. Ultimately, however, they loosened their hold on me, stroking my skin as I stood. The cool morning air sent a shiver down my body, goosebumps rising on my arms and legs. I walked over to my closet and reached for my robe. As I did, my hand brushed against something soft and fluffy, contrasting with the silky material of my own robe. Curious, I shifted my focus and pulled out the garment. It was another robe, made of fleece instead of satin. It's light purple shade was calming, and reminded me of a Sunday morning. I stroked the the arm, feeling the soft material glide past my hands. I decided that this was probably a better option to ward off the cold than my satin robe, and put it on. As I wrapped the robe around myself a pleasant smell was wafted towards my nose. I took a deep breath, taking it in. It was clean, faintly smelling of soap, and it was subtlely sweet and fruity, but not like a perfume. There was something...earthy about it. It was difficult to describe, but I couldn't get enough of it. On top of that, I felt like the smell was familiar for some reason. Then again, that had been happening all week.
Finally, I left my room and walked to Henry's room. When I made it to his closed door, I knocked softly.
"Come in," I heard him say in a muffled voice. I opened the door slowly and saw him laying on his bed in his checkered pajamas.
"Good morning," I said in a quiet, cheerful voice. "How did you sleep?"
He shrugged. "Okay. What about you?"
"Pretty good, actually," I said. I was lying just a little bit; it had taken me a while to fall asleep after my visit to Emma, and when I did I dreamt of the memory I saw over and over again, but in the vision I never saw her face, and I only ever heard her say, "Good morning." But Henry didn't have to know that.
"Good," he said.
"Hey, I don't have work and you don't have school today: did you want to do anything? Just the two of us." Henry shrugged again. I realized that something was troubling him. "Henry, what's wrong?"
"It's just, today...today's supposed to be a big day."
"What's that, Henry?"
"It's yours and Mom- I mean..." he panicked when he realized that he'd called Emma "Mom" again.
"Henry, it's okay. I don't mind anymore," I reassured him. "Really."
"Okay. Well, it's your guys' anniversary today."
"Oh." Well, that would explain it.
"Yeah," he said. "Mom and I had this huge plan for you. You two were going to go out and do stuff, and I was going to surprise you both with this huge meal..."
"Oh, Henry, I'm sorry," I said. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you."
"Yeah. Thanks, Mom." Then Henry reached down behind his bed and pulled out a small package wrapped in paper and tied with thread. He fingered the twine, deliberating, and then held the package out to me. "This is what she was going to give you. She gave it to me for safekeeping."
I took the present hesitantly, examining the outside. It was a large, thin rectanglular shape. I looked at Henry questioningly.
"You can open it," he assured me. "It is your present, after all."
Slowly, carefully, I pulled the end of the string, unraveling the bow in the middle. I pulled the twine and paper off to reveal a journal. It was made from beautiful, rich brown leather, with gold accents. In the center, in elegant gold lettering, it read "For My Wife."
I was stunned. "Henry, I-"
"It's okay, Mom. If you want to read it now, I can go find Grace and hang out with her, or go over and see Grandpa. It meant a lot to Mom, and I think she would have wanted you to read it."
I nodded in appreciation. "Thank you, Henry," I whispered, reaching over to pull him into a tight hug. Before I let him go I kissed him on the forhead affectionately. He immediately grabbed his phone and texted David to come pick him up.
"I told them I'd be out front waiting for them," he said as he started grabbing clothes from his dresser.
"Okay. I think I'll bring this into my room."
"Okay. See you later, Mom!"
I walked out of Henry's room, bringing the journal with me. Sitting on the bed I finally put the journal on my lap. It was heavier than it seemed; it's weight only made it seem more important. I flipped the cover over, and started reading. On the first page was one sentence:
For my beautiful wife, Regina, who has saved me in every concievable way.
It was remarkable how happy that single sentence made me. My heart swelled at this declaration, and I sat there for a moment just looking at the first page. Then I finally snapped out of it, and continued reading.
Dear Regina,
How this year has flown by! Although I do not yet know what this year has brought us, I can't wait to find out. I'm sure we had our hardships, but I know us: together, we can get through anything. You always told me that the thing you wanted most was to see behind what's left of my wall, to know what was going on inside my head. Therefore I decided, starting after our wedding, to write a series of notes and letters to you, that I will continue to write until our anniversary, when you'll be reading this. No more walls, just my thoughts and feelings towards you. I hope you like it.
Love,
Emma.
Did she really lay everything out there for me? From what I heard, she doesn't really like to share her feelings with others. So this must have been such a huge deal. Did she really trust me enough for this? There was only one way to find out:
Dear Regina,
It's the morning after our wedding. Yesterday was absolutely the greatest day of my life. I was so nervous while I was getting ready: I had never gone this far with anyone before. I kept thinking about how it could go wrong. That is, until I saw you. As soon as I saw you in that dress, looking at me with that smile...I knew that I wanted this, that I wanted to be yours forever. In that moment I was already Mrs. Emma Swan-Mills. And when Mother Superior finally said it...I was afraid my heart was going to burst out of my chest with happiness. And last night? Well, let me just say you've won me over, body and soul. You'll be awake soon, so I need to put this away before you see me. I love you, Regina Mills, always and forever.
Love,
Emma
Dear Regina,
You look so beautiful in the mornings. I love waking up to that gorgeous face every morning, even if you're trying to get me up. And the rare times when I wake up before you, I can't help but watch your face. You're so peaceful and beautiful...I never want to forget the way your lip twitches when your having a good dream, or the little moan you make when you just start to wake up. I'm so lucky to be able to wake up to someone as beautiful as you.
Love,
Emma
Dear Regina,
Do you remember when we first kissed? I had just refused Killian's proposal, and I told my mother that you were the only one I could talk to. You came to my side right away, even though you were with Robin Hood. What a mess that was! But you sat next to me and listened, and you told me to stop hiding behind my wall, and so I told you. Well, I guess that's not quite true; I didn't tell you in words, per say, but I'm pretty sure you got the message.
It took us so long to figure that whole mess out, and it didn't help that Spencer was determined to ruin my life. But we did, and since then you haven't left my side. No matter what's happened, you were always there for me. Thank you for that. And I promise, no matter what, I will always be there for you.
Love,
Emma
Dear Regina,
How is your hair always so perfect? I legitimately don't understand it. Nor do I understand how you always smell so amazing: always! I swear, it doesn't matter what you do, you will always come out with perfect hair and smelling like a dream. I wish you could share some of your secrets with me. But hey, I'm not complaining. ;-)
Love,
Emma
Dear Regina,
Today we had an enormous fight. You're still not talking to me, even now. We rarely fight, but when we do it's explosive. We're both so strong-headed and stubborn, how couldn't it be? I know I should go apoligize, but honestly I'm a little scared of you right now. I'm giving you a couple of minutes to calm down before I go out there. I just wanted to let you know...no matter how angry I am, or how bad our fights get, I still love you with everything I have. A little argument will never change that: nothing will. Okay...I think I'll go talk to you now.
Love,
Emma
Dear Regina,
Wow. I can't believe it's been almost a year since we got married. Time really has flown by! And what amazing times they were: this has definitely been the best year of my life. I've been writing to you in this journal for so long, I'm not sure what I'm going to do after I give this to you. Maybe I'll keep my own journal for myself. Who knows? But what I do know is that you and Henry are the most important people in my life. I would do anything for you! You have brought so much light into my life, I can't thank you enough. You taught me that it's okay to let people into my heart, and to let the world see who I really am. You took down my wall brick by brick until you were left with nothing but me, the real me. And then? You not only accepted it, you loved and cared for it so that I would never have to be afraid of being myself again. Thank you, Regina, for being you, and for showing me who I am.
Love,
Emma.
By the time I had finished reading, the sun was already at its peak in the sky. I had read every single entry from the longest letter to the shortest note: there must have been more than 200! I had been sitting in my robe in my room for so long, I left an imprint in my mattress. I finally closed the journal, clutching it to my chest. Tears fell down my face in a slow, steady stream, falling on my bed with a tiny splash. I sat like that for what seemed like hours, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. Suddenly, I collected myself. I started rushing around my room, grabbing clothes as fast as I could. It didn't matter what I was wearing. I brushed through my hair quickly, and ran out the door, making sure to grab my purse and the journal along the way.
I ran as fast as I possibly could through the trees, almost twisting my ankle on countless rocks and roots. Finally, I made it to the clearing where Emma lay. I clutched the journal close to my chest as I approached. I pulled the glass covering off again; it seemed to come off much faster this time. Absolutely nothing about her had changed, but suddenly she seemed more beautiful, more perfect in every way. I took the journalin my hands and held it out, studying it intensely.
"Emma..." I started. "Oh, how do I begin? Well, Henry gave me the journal you made for me. I read the whole thing. I know how difficult this must have been for you. It's so beautiful, I really do appreciate it..." I trailed off as I felt a lump form in my throat. This felt all wrong: I was just going through the motions, how I'd always talked to her since I'd woken up in my vault. It wasn't enough anymore.
"I can't do this, Emma. Yes, I read your journal. And with every word I felt so...happy doesn't describe it. This is the most thoughtful and beautiful gift anyone has ever given me, and it was amazing...but it also broke my heart. Every time I read something you wrote, I remembered that you're here, instead of with me. I remembered that I can't make you smile, that I don't get to watch your sleeping face in the morning, or hear your laugh; I don't get to feel your hand in mine, I can't hear you calling for me from the other end of the house, and I don't get to have flour wars with you and Henry in the kitchen. Through everything Henry has been so strong, but I could always tell how much he missed you. But now what am I supposed to do? I don't even know what I'm missing, but I do: I can't remember you, but I miss you so much. All I want to do is see you, hear you, feel you...I want to know every part of you, but I can't, and it's tearing me apart now." I finally took a deep breath. "I just..." I whispered, "I just wish you were here." I gazed at Emma sadly, realizing the truth in my own words. A single tear fell from my face and landed on the snow-white feathers of Emma's gown. Then I leaned down slowly, and kissed her.
As soon as my lips touched hers there was a surge of energy, just strong enough to pull my face away from hers. Suddenly, I saw flashes of memories flying through my mind: Emma dropping Henry at my house, Emma coming in for a drink, Emma breaking the curse, Emma falling through the portal in my office, Emma defending me against her parents, Emma standing her ground in front of Zelena, Emma kissing me in her room, Emma standing in the rain with her white shirt clinging to her body, Emma in her wedding dress, Emma smiling at me in bed, Emma, Emma, Emma,
"Emma!"
My vision cleared just in time to see Emma's eyes flutter open. She looked around for a moment, until her eyes landed on me. She smiled that smile that made me weak. "I knew you would find me."
"Always," I vowed. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, looking deeply into the emerald eyes that always saw right through me. "Happy Anniversary," I whispered. Then I reached down and really kissed my wife for the first time in far too long. She sat up, reaching her arms up and wrapping them around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her body closer to mine. I could still detect the faint taste of apple on her lips, which only made me even more excited. The kiss lasted for over a minute; by the time we were done we were both breathing heavily. We didn't say anything for a couple of moments, but we couldn't stop laughing and smiling. Suddenly Emma looked down, confused.
"What the hell am I wearing?"