WARNING: This story is rated T for shounen-ai/yaoi.

Summary: Allen doesn't understand why he feels like this around Kanda. He doesn't act himself and he finds that he wants to hold the bluenette's hand. "When we break apart, I place my forehead on Kanda's chest. 'I think I'm going to have a heart attack.'"

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM, the characters, or this song.

Heart Attack

Original Song: "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato

Putting my defenses up,

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love.

If I ever did that,

I think I'd have a heart attack.

"Hey, Allen!" Lavi said as I set my mountain of plates on the table. Lenalee already had her hands up in an effort to protect herself if it did fall, but Kanda simply rolled his eyes. "Moyashi, must you eat so much?"

Sticking my tongue out at him, I say, "Yes. Yes, I must. Why, do you want me to collapse on the battlefield and then have to carry me back to the inn?"

"You would be left for dead," he says simply before he takes a bite of his soba.

"That's harsh. I wouldn't leave you."

"I wouldn't collapse, and if I somehow did, you wouldn't be able to carry me."

"I did in Mater!"

Kanda narrows his eyes at me, but says nothing more. Ha! I knew he couldn't refute that!

Lenalee glances at me, giving me a worried look while Lavi eats silently for once, his expression almost disappointed. I didn't understand what their issues were, but as I dug into my food, the girl whispers in my ear, "Do you like Kanda?"

I nearly choke on my rice and stare at Kanda in horror. He looked up from his soba. "Why are you staring at me? You look like someone told you that Cross was coming to visit."

I gulp.

Never put my love out on the line.

Never said 'yes' to the right guy.

Never had trouble getting what I want,

But when it comes to you, I'm never good enough.

"So would you want to go out to a movie sometime?" Lavi asked. I glance at him. "Like on a date?"

He nods. "Yeah."

I think about this for a moment before I shake my head. "I'm sorry, Lavi. I love you with all my heart and I'd do anything for you, but that's as a friend, not a boyfriend. Maybe we could with Lenalee and Kanda as a group, but not as a couple."

He smiles, but I could see the underlying disappointment. "No, that's fine! I'll see you around, 'kay?"

I nod, and he walks down the hall going to his room.

Geez, that was the second time someone's asked me out this week, and it was only Thursday. Maybe I should put a sign on my back that says "not interested." I sigh, walking into the training room, and I see Kanda, who was shirtless and sweating. He stops his movements with Mugen. "What do you want?"

"I need a sparring partner," I say, and he nods. I remove my jacket and lay it next to the wall as Kanda asks, "What was Lavi talking to you about? He looked on edge all through lunch."

I run a hand through my hair. "He asked me to go to the movies with him, but I turned him down."

"Gets annoying."

"What? Lavi?"

He shakes his head. "You're lucky that you only have a few guys with some screws in their heads loose. Those fangirls confess to me every day."

"Poor BaKanda."

"Shut up, Moyashi."

"It's Allen! How hard is it to remember?!"

"It's not hard to remember. I just like to annoy you," he deadpans, and I sigh. One of these times, I'm going to whack him.

When I don't care,

I can play 'em like a Ken doll.

Won't wash my hair,

Then make 'em bounce like a basketball.

I step out of the dressing room with a leather jacket on, looking at myself in the mirror. Lenalee twirls her finger, and I turn. After a minute, I say, "It feels weird."

"Have you ever worn leather before?" she asks, and I shake my head. She sighs. "Kanda can rock a leather jacket better than any guy I've ever seen."

"You got him in one?"

"We were on a mission and undercover to a certain extent. He can drive a motorcycle, too."

I blush at the mere thought, but Lenalee continues, "Anyways, the skinny jeans are great."

"I wouldn't think that they were this comfortable."

"It takes a certain body type. Next, a t-shirt."

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

I never really figured out the point of that shopping trip. Lenalee invited me, something about a new purse, and then she made me buy several outfits. Though I realized why she picked out the ones she did when I walked into the cafeteria the next day.

I roll my eyes as whistles sound from a group of finders, male and female. What was the big deal? I wore a t-shirt that said "No boyfriend. No problem," and skinny jeans with rips all over them, none above my mid-thigh though. It wasn't like girls didn't wear this sort of thing. They do all the time. So why was everyone staring at me?

When I sit down, Lenalee says, "I'm so proud."

"Of what? Me for some reason? Or yourself for picking out this outfit?"

"Both," she giggles. I roll my eyes again. "Right."

Kanda raises an eyebrow as he inspects me. "That's definitely a new look."

"Lenalee made me get it. I still don't understand why people feel the need to stare though," I mutter, glancing around. Kanda says, "Me, neither. You can make the Grinch look as sexy as Megan Fox."

"Thanks. I'd say the same about you and Miley Cyrus."

He glares at me.

But you make me want to act like a girl,

Paint my nails and wear high heels.

Yes, you make me so nervous,

That I just can't hold your hand.

I glance at the outfits on my bed. There was still time for me to get ready, but I'd been staring at the two shirts for the past ten minutes and every time I went to pick one up, I shake my head and lay it back down. Would the one that says, "Watch out. I'm a B ! $$ Uke" be too flashy? But my Three Days Grace band tee was a little too big. After another few minutes, I walk up behind Lenalee. "Okay, I'm here!"

"Finally! We've been waiting forever!" Lavi exclaims with a grin.

When we begin to walk to the movie theatre, Lenalee says, "I love your shirt, by the way."

I smile in relief. "Thanks."

"Not surprising that you would be an uke," Kanda mutters. Glaring at him, I say, "For the record, I took three different tests online and got Romantic Seme every time."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right."

The only reason I didn't say anything was because we arrived at the theatre. Lenalee asks, "What should we see?"

"The Purge," Lavi and Kanda say in unison, and the bluenette glares at the rabbit, probably to warn him not to make a comment about it. I say, "But Lenalee and I are too young to get into an R movie without an adult. You guys are both over eighteen."

"Fine, then something with blood," Kanda growls, obviously not in the mood to look over the options. Of course, Lenalee leaned toward romance, and I was more or less indifferent about it. I've never gone to the movies before, so I'm just happy to be here. Ten minutes later, we sat in the back row of one of the theatres that was scheduled to show Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Kanda and Lavi sat on opposite sides, but I also felt awkward next to the redhead, so now I'm beside Kanda. Fabulous.

About the time that people started getting eaten, I decided that this was not the type of movie I wanted to see in a theatre. Don't get me wrong; it's a great movie, but I'm the type of person that wants something to hold, such as a pillow, while I watch gory films. I jump when a carcass falls out of the tree, closing my eyes and turning my head, and Lenalee leans towards me. "Do you want to leave? We can get some coffee and let Lavi and Kanda watch the rest without us."

I shake my head. "I'm fine. I like these kinds of movies, but I've never seen one in theatre."

She looked unconvinced, but doesn't push it. I look down as the screen shows another bloody scene and notice Kanda's arm on the armrest. For some reason, I find myself wanting to put my hand over his, but I refrain. He would just pull away, curse, and ask what my problem is.

You make me glow,

But I cover up,

Won't let it show.

So I'm….

But when two more people get eaten, I finally give in. Somewhat. The armrest was large to an extent, so there was enough room for me to put my arm next to his. Kanda doesn't react when our skin touched, his eyes fixated on the screen. Courage welled inside me as I placed my pinky and ring finger of his, but this time, he looks at me. Pretending I don't know what's going on, I quickly avert my eyes from him and stare at the screen. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him look forward again, and I inwardly sigh in relief.

With as much stealth as possible, I move my hand over his a little more, and he leans over to whisper in my ear, "Are you scared?"

"No!" I whisper as if it was ridiculous, but I take in a sharp breath when the anaconda in the beams of the roof is shown and I close my eyes until the man stopped screaming. Kanda finally turns his hand over and twines our fingers together. "You're a bad liar."

I blush furiously and continue to look forward, but even though I will never admit it aloud, I felt better with my hand in Kanda's. When the movie ended and the lights came on, I hastily removed my hand from Kanda's and tried to pretend nothing happened.

Putting my defenses up,

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love.

If I ever did that,

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I stare at my feet as I walk between Lenalee and, much to my displeasure, Kanda. Dang, why did I have to act like such a girl? Maybe I'm not as much of a stoic man as Kanda is, but I'm not the type to freak out during a movie and hold someone's hand.

After a minute, Kanda slows his pace and holds the hem of my shirt while Lenalee and Lavi walk ahead. I glance at the bluenette. "What?"

"You're really going to act like nothing happened?"

I look away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Even as we walk, he takes me by the chin and forces me to meet his gaze. "Don't play that. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

I will never admit how much more quickly my heart beat when his fingers touched my skin and his eyes met mine. I shouldn't feel like this. It wasn't natural. No, that's not right. It was too natural, and I don't plan on falling in love with Kanda anytime soon, or ever, for that matter.

"It was nothing. I just didn't like the movie that much," I lie, pulling away from him and walking faster. Unfortunately, I still hear him say, "Your pulse then and just now say differently."

I ignore him and catch back up with Lenalee. She glances at me. "What was that about?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure? You look flushed."

"Really!" I insist, smiling.

Never break a sweat for the other guys.

When you come around, I get paralyzed.

And every time I try to be myself,

It comes out wrong, like a cry for help.

I curse, much to my own displeasure, and rub my shoulder. "You didn't have to hit me that hard."

"I'm not going to take it easy on you just because you're a Moyashi," Kanda grunted, shaking his right hand. "Moyashi with a hard shoulder."

"It's Allen! Do I need to spell it out?!" I exclaim and stand before I walk back to the center of the training area. He shakes his head and closes the gap between us, pressing his body against mine, and I freeze. "W-what are y-y-you d-doing?!"

"Your tag is hanging out, and it's bugging me," he growled, and I feel his fingers on the back of my neck. Giggles course through me from the feeling, not that I can help that I'm extremely ticklish, but by the time Kanda pulls away, I'm laughing like a madman and I struggle to fill my lungs with oxygen.

"You have issues," the bluenette states. Sticking my tongue out at him, I say, "You're the one who tickled me!"

He shakes his head. "I fixed your tag. You're the sensitive one."

"I'm not sensitive!"

"Moyashi."

"It's Allen, Ba―!" I cut myself short when realization hit me. "Shut up!"

He smirks. "Says the one who's not sensitive."

"You're sensitive to me calling you 'BaKanda!'" I protest. He shrugs. "I can deal by glaring. You feel the need to yell at me."

"It's not yelling! I don't yell at you!"

"Then what is it?"

"Discipline!"

He scoffs. "Right. I have none of that."

"That's the problem. Someone should spank you."

At this, Kanda raises an eyebrow at me. "And I bet you would love that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes! I mean, no!" I struggle to collect my thoughts. "Stop confusing me!"

"Simple question."

"I don't want to spank you!"

"But you want to see someone spank me. What kind of fetish is that?"

"I don't have a fetish!" I shout, aggravated.

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Why are you trying so hard to convince me?"

"Because you annoy me!"

"Right."

Finally, I give up.

It's just not fair.

Pain's more trouble than love is worth.

I gasp for air.

It feels so good, but you know it hurts.

I walk down the hallway to my room. It was probably nine at night, but I had wanted to watch the sun go down. Most people were in their rooms at this point, which was why I didn't expect to see Kanda.

"What are you doing out?" I ask curiously.

"My shower is broken, so Lavi let me use his. What about you?" he asked, falling into step beside me. I smile. "I watched the sun set. It was really beautiful."

"Sounds like something Tiedoll would say."

"What so bad about that?"

"I can only handle one of him," he mutters before he pauses. "Though I can only handle one of you, too."

"Is that an insult?"

"I think."

"You think?"

In a swift movement, Kanda pins me to the hallway wall, holding my hands hostage above my head. Not expecting this, I'm frozen for moment, but I quickly recover and try to pull away.

"What are you doing?" I ask while I stare at him. Kanda leans closer to me, until I can feel his breath on my lips as he says, "I think I'm about to kiss you."

He waits a moment, and since I was already on the verge of initiating the kiss, I whisper, "Then stop thinking and do it, stupid."

He takes the opportunity, and I happily oblige, moving my lips against his. Kanda tasted like mint and soba, which wasn't a bad combination, and he was rough yet gentle. It's hard to explain, but even though he kissed me forcefully, when he wanted to deepen it, he probed my lips open instead of biting them, which I didn't expect. His tongue slid against mine, and because I didn't have much experience with this sort of thing, I just let him take over. It felt good either way.

When we break apart, we're both gasping, and Kanda releases my hands. Blushing, I look down. Kanda opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "Um…I'll see you later."

With that, I dart towards my room.

But you make me wanna act like a girl,

Paint my nails and wear perfume for you.

Make me so nervous,

And I just can't hold your hand.

Even though I never do, I wear cologne to lunch the next day. Not much. Hardly even a squirt, but enough that I felt weird.

Leaning towards Lenalee across the table, I whisper, "Am I wearing too much cologne?"

She inhales before she whispers back, "No. It smells good though."

At that moment, Kanda sat beside me, and Lavi says, "Hey, Yu!"

"Do not call me that, Baka Usagi!" the bluenette growled. I stare down at my plate, refusing to let him affect how I act, but of course, I wasn't exactly being discreet in my attempts.

You make me glow,

But I cover up,

Won't let it show.

So I'm….

"Moyashi."

I whirl around. "It's Allen, BaKanda!"

He doesn't say anything as he walks forward, but when he's in front of me, he says, "You've been avoiding me."

"N-no, I haven't," I stutter and look away. Kanda moves my chin so I have to look at him. "Don't lie."

Putting my defenses up,

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love.

If I ever did that,

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

Pushing him away, I shout, "I'm not lying! That kiss meant nothing, so just stay away from me!"

Kanda looked unfazed by my words, and unconvinced, and he says, "You really are a bad liar."

"Shut up!"

With that, I run down the hall. I don't stop until I get to my room and I slam the door shut while I pant, falling onto my bed. That stupid, arrogant, mean, sarcastic, emotionless jerk! I hate him! I wish he'd just move to the Asian Branch and stay there!

The feelings get lost in my lungs.

They're burning; I'd rather be numb.

And there's no one else to blame.

So scared, I take off in a run.

I'm flying too close to the sun,

And I burst into flames.

"What should I do, Lenalee?" I ask as I pace across her bedroom. She says, "First, stop pacing. You'll make the floors squeak."

I sit down with a roll of my eyes, and she continues, "I don't understand why you don't want to go out with him."

"I-I…" I trail off, slumping. "I don't know."

"Are you afraid?"

"Afraid of Kanda? Hardly."

"I don't mean that. Are you afraid of falling in love?"

I think over this for a moment. Was I? The last person I loved died. I don't want to feel that pain again, but I think it would be the same if it were any of my close friends. It didn't seem like there was a difference.

Or was there?

Lenalee says, "You know, Kanda does like you."

"Yeah, right," I mutter. She whacks me behind the head. "I'm serious, Allen! Do you really think he would kiss you if he didn't like you?"

"He likes to screw with people."

"You're a moron."

"I know that."

You make me glow,

But I cover up,

Won't let it show.

So I'm….

Quietly, I slip into the training area and look for a certain bluenette. Of course, he was training.

"What do you want, Moyashi?" he asks before he takes a drink from his water bottle. Out of habit, I say, "Not a Moyashi."

"Get on with it."

Shifting uncomfortably, I ask, "Do you like me?"

"Clarify the meaning of 'like.'"

"Do you have feelings for me?"

He rolls his eyes. "Did you miss the part where I pinned you to the wall and kissed you?"

I blush furiously. "No, I just…wasn't sure."

"Baka Moyashi."

"BaKanda."

Putting my defenses up,

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love.

If I ever did that,

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

At some point, we ended up kissing. Not that it wasn't welcome, but it was foreign to me.

When we break apart, I place my forehead on Kanda's chest. "I think I'm going to have a heart attack."