Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Thanks for the quick feedback on the first postings. In answer to one query, the short answer is that I'd planned to put it all into one big chapter, but decided to put out what I curently had and then grind out the rest of the story when the muse gave me an inspiration pille. Littel did I think that she'd spiked my morning tea with the equivalent of writing viagra. Now, I've got the urge to power out what happens when Ryoga gets back to Nerima and ties not not blab.

Uyko was setting out the okonomiyaki ingredients while Konatsu was opening the doors and hanging out the noren over the doors.

The whomp of displaced air followed by Konatsu's sqawk as he got tossed backwards through the door announced the arrival of her first customer (whether paying or free-loading) or the day.

Picking up the boiling kettle, she started a pot of green tea and place it on the counter in front of her then walked over to help Ryoga pick up and dust off Konatsu.

"You usually don't show up until lunchtime. Speaking of showing up, what happened to you yesterday? I saw you yesterday morning and you said that you'd be …. back … at … Hey! You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday and you don't do that since you stopped…. Oh let me guess, you got lost."

He nodded. "Oh, I really got lost."

Uyko poured him a tea and leanaed forward to put it in front of him. She sniffed.

"And you were in such a rush to get back here that you couldn't stop somewhere for a shower?"

Ryoga slumped and nodded. "I was trying to aim for home and then my stomach growled… First thought was 'I could do with one of Uyko's okonomiyaki right about now'."

Konatsu finally got him/herself straightened and chimed in "I don't think that you'll get anything right now, we're barely open, let alone ready to serve anyone."

Uyko chuckled. "This is starting to be like another chaos-magnet thing. Ryoga, you stay there and drink your tea. Konatsu and I will get this place properly open and you can then tell us of your adventures, all of them."

Ryoga blushed and looked down into his tea. "Uh, I'd rather not, Uyko, Konatsu. I met someone and promised that I not talk about it. I'm going to drink my tea and then head home, I hope."

Both chef and waiter/waitress looked over at Ryoga and then at each other. They smirked at each other an shrugged. Uyko looked firmly at Konatsu. You take Ryoga home and make sure that he gets there safely or at least stick to him if he 'wanders', Neh?"

Konatsu slowly nodded.

Ryoga nodded, and put the tea mug down after draining it. "OK, Konatsu-kun. Drag me home but I'm not going to blab anything. This deals with two young ladies' honor."

Uyko nodded. "See you in two hours. I'll trade you my Martial Arts okonomiyaki in return for what exactly happened before the honor of these two young ladies got involved."

Ryoga shook his head and placed the tea mug on the counter. "Sorry, even that won't tempt me. No. No. I'll get home on my own, thank you very much."

With that, he stood and bowed to the two of them and walked out of the restaurant, then turned in the opposite direction of his house, stopped and then turned around and started walking in the correct direction, rapidly accelerating to a run and dodging the early-morning pedestrian traffic.

Uyko smirked and snickered at Konatsu. "Can you imagine it? He gets lost and winds up spending the night with two young ladies!? You know that no one in the Crew is going to let this lie?"

Konatsu shook his head and looked at her. "So, who are you going to tell first?"

Uyko was already reaching for the phone. Dialing a number, she spoke, "Nibiki. Guess who just dropped in for a morning tea and then headed home to shower? Yeah, HIM! He was muttering something about guarding the honor of two young ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Nope. Even promised his a special lunch if he told anything about his day. That's when he left. Yeah, not a word but he also didn't make me promise not to say anything about this. You think that Ranma might wiggle soemthig out of him? Yeah, no matter what, it's going to take a couple days to set him up and blindside him with the question. Yea, THAT question 'who did you sleep with?' "

Three days later, Uyko's Place, dinnertime

Uyko threw her cleaning cloth into the sink and glared at the four women sitting at her counter, five if she was being generous towards Konatsu, which she wasn't at this particular time.

Kasumi sipped at her tea and nodded at the others. "He's being really secretive about it and actually minding his words before says them. When did that kick in?"

Nibiki nodded and sipped at her cup of sake. "All of my contacts say the same. You get close to 'that day' and he clams up. I think that whatever or whoever happened is a matter of his martial artist's honor and he's not going to budge."

Kodachi shook her head. "Short of using one of my flower extracts to loosen his tongue, he's really not budging."

They all looked at the final female character sitting in front of the counter. Ranko laid her dinner plate down and looked at it as if daring it to remain empty. "I tried everything and got zip. Heck, I even tried getting him drunk and ran out of money and sake before he got lubed enough to say anything more than 'ice cream sundaes', 'really cute maikos' and 'Rising Dragon Drive'. Well, Nabs, any clues on how many ice cream shops that is?"

Nibiki was tapping on her smart phone. "Eight-five on searching for ice cream sundae and similar shops on Rising Dragon anywhere in Japan; figuring in maiko training locations, and it comes down to a dozen plus."

Uyko nodded. "Yes, way too many to make any sort of discrete search short of asking every maiko in the area if they'd run into Ryoga, and even less chance of them actually fessing up that they'd gone to bed with him."

Everyone nodded and Kodachi bumped Ranma. "How much sake were we talking about, darling Ranma?"

Ranko held up three fingers. "Three flaming isshobins, and I got him doing four to my one, until I got him not noticing that I was doing a shaku to each of his go servings. That guy may be a tee totaler but he's got a capacity for the stuff that's unbelievable. I figure that he took in two and a half isshobins and was still sober enough to only let those three phrases out."

Kodachi nodded and tapped her forefinger against her chin, obviously thinking something deep and devious. "Sounds like we need to get some serious experts involved. Kasumi dear, how long since your father and Uncle Genma have gone on a bender, a real serious bender and dragged the boys along?"

Ranko immediately started reacting in a very negative manner between him/herself and the others on the counter. "No! Now way in hell I'm going to repeat that event! My head rang for a day after I finally managed to sober up. And then I found that they'd stuck me with the bill!"

Kodachi smiled, showing the long-departed Black Rose at her most fiendish. "Well, dear Ranma, you haven't been funded by a Kuno have your? And you now know how to pace yourself with Ryoga AND your father AND Master Tendo? You keep sipping your shakus like the young virgin that you are and let the Real Men get Ryoga drunk. Then, at the right moment, you ask Ryoga about what happened with the maikos and brace yourself. Better yet, make sure that your records the evening on your phone so we can all hear what happened. I can easily fund you four getting your hands on a couple or three 4-to barrels. Humh?"

Nibiki chimed in. "It's got to be one of Dadd's regular drinking holes. We have to make it some sort of stupid prize, like Genma's weight in sake. Yeah!" Give me a couple days to rig the contest and to make Genma the happy winner, and to make it even more believable, Daddy's going to win second prize, which is 'half your weight in sake'. Let's see that about 250 kilograms, which is a close match for litres, so we're probably talking the actual prize being 3 4-tos, plus kicking in everyone else getting drinks to get the juices flowing and make the drinking binge being believeable, plus some extra prizes like a 1-to and a few isshobins and 4-gos as consolation prizes, and a kick-in for the waiting staff and pub owners, say the equivalent of 12 4-tos, and…" She scribble a number on a napkin and passed it to Kodachi. "This look about right?"

Kodachi looked at the numbers and nodded. "Less than my week's allowance from Dearest Daddie. Considering that I've been a very, very good girl lately, and Daddy doesn't check on what I actually do spend, I can give you the funds tomorrow. Your job, Ranma darling, is to convince your father and Master Tendo that they need to take you and Ryoga to that particular bar on that particular evening. All you need is a credible excuse."

Ranko nodded. "No problem on that, we just got two new students. They're already planning on how to spend the fees that they'll be collecting."

Kasumi raised a finger. "These two are of legal age, suggest a welcoming drink for their joining the dojo. Those two Masters will easily go along with things. Be somewhat scrupulous on talking up a couple of drinks, and then point out the contest. Then sit back and let nature take its course."

Three NIghts Later, Happy Bottom Drinking Club, Nerima.

The sake-fuelled party or mass drinking binge was in full mode. The gambit of pointing out the contest of winning your weight in a reasonable (that is, a recognized brand name) sake had resulted in everyone at the table ponying up for a single ticket each. After all, they were there only for a couple of drinks to welcome the new students, and everyone had jobs to go to the following morning. By the time the second round had arrived, and everyone was feeiling a bit mellow, the last call for contest tickets was made, resulting in a quick flurry at the table for more yen to buy tickets.

Five minutes later, surprise-of-surprises, 6 of the prizes, including Genma winning the grand prize and Suon the second prize, plus an assortment of 4-gos and isshobins wound up on the table. Genma added to the festive atmosphere of the celebration by making sure that everyone present at the Happy Bottom got a couple rounds "on him". The original stated reason of a couple drinks rapidly devolved into a variety of drinking games against neighboring tables.

The two students finally bailed (they used the legitimate excuse of having real jobs and being practically salarymen and not full-fledged committed martial artists) and the drinking games continued, resulting in the consumption of at least five of the six 4-tos "won" by Genma and Suon.

Judging the moment right, and really feeling the sake reaching the point-of-no-return for him, even though he'd been sipping shakus to everyone else's consumption of gos as if they were so much water, he leaned in close to Ryoga and whispered, "listen, Ryoga. What were those two maikos like, really? They must have been really nice."

Ryoga's head slowly came up off of the table and he blurily focused on Ranma. "Really, really nice, and not THAT way. Besides, Akane and Shampoo really don't deserve to be bandied about like a couple of the fast dates like you were doing after they'd left." His head thumped back unto the table and he started snoring.

Ranma straightened up as the words percolated through all of the sake that he'd consumed. His face went through various shades of white and then rend. His battle aura came on full strength and he now towered over the table, reaching for Ryoga.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, RYOGA HIBIKI! PREPARE TO DIE!"