Warnings: This story is rated T for absolutely no reason. Other than the song, I guess. Beware; some of the lyrics are probably wrong.
Summary: Lavi, Allen, Lenalee, and Kanda have their own party in Lavi's room. At some point, they discuss and sing about being rockstars.
Disclaimer: I don't own DGM, the characters, or this song.
Rockstar
Original Song: "Rockstar" by Nickelback
"Do you guys think we could ever be famous?" Lavi asked randomly, splayed out on the floor between Lenalee and Kanda. I lean back against the bed. "Not really. Why would you want to? Drugs, girls, sex, money, and a mansion. What's so great about that?"
Kanda glances to his left at me. "What's so wrong about that? Not that I want to be famous. I already have a gazillion stalkers already."
"Haven't you heard that song?" Lenalee asked.
"By Nickelback?" I ask. She nods.
Lavi breaks out in song, "I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in. It's like the bottom ninth and I'm never gonna win. This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be."
"Tell me what you want," I join.
"I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs."
Lenalee sings, "And a bathroom I can play baseball in."
Everyone looks at Kanda. He growls, "No."
"Please, Kanda?" Lenalee begs, giving him her puppy dog face. Kanda was a great singer, and anyone who'd heard him sing knew that. He rolls his eyes. "And a king-size tub big enough for ten plus me."
Smiling happily, I continue, "Uh-huh, so whatcha need?"
"I'll need a credit card that's got no limit―" Lavi says. Lenalee giggles, "―and a big, black jet with a bedroom in it. Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand feet."
"Been there. Done that," I add.
"I want a new tour bus full of old guitars, my own star on Hollywood Boulevard. Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me," Kanda says, probably against his better judgment.
I smile. "So how you gonna do it?"
"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame," Lenalee sings, twirling her hair. "I'd even cut my hair and change my name."
Lavi jammed out on his air guitar. "'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars, and live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars! The girls come easy, and the drugs come cheap."
"We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat," I say. The other three raised their eyebrows at me as my eyes widened in horror. "Never! I don't wanna starve!"
"And we'll hang out in the coolest bars. In the VIP with the movie stars," Lenalee continues. Lavi smirks. "Every good gold-digger's gonna wind up there."
Kanda whacks him behind the head. "Every Playboy Usagi with his really red hair."
"Those aren't the words!" the rabbit protested. The Japanese teen sighs. "Every Playboy bunny with her bleach-blonde hair."
"Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar!" I say. "Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar."
"I wanna be great like Elvis, without the tassels," Lavi says.
"Hire eight bodyguards that love to beat up…buttholes," I add. Lenalee continues, "Sign a couple of autographs so I can eat my meals for free."
Lavi waggles his eyebrows. "I'll have the quesadilla. Uh-huh."
I laugh at him. "I'm gonna dress my…arse with the latest fashion."
Kanda rolls his eyes, muttering about Baka Moyashi. "Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion. Gonna date a centerfold that loves to blow my money for me."
"So how you gonna do it?" Lavi asks. Pulling out Kanda's hair tie before jumping away, I sing, "I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame."
"And kill the people that know who I maimed," Kanda growled, tying his hair back up. "I'd even cut my hair and change my name."
"'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars, and live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars. The girls come easy, and the drugs come cheap," Lenalee says. I grimace as Lavi laughs. "We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat."
"And we'll hang out in the coolest bars in the VIP with the movie stars. Every good gold-digger's gonna wind up there," Kanda says.
"Every Playboy bunny with her bleach-blonde hair," I sing, shaking my head so my white hair went crazy.
"And we'll hide out in the private rooms with the latest dictionary of today's who's who," Lenalee says. I smirk like when I'm playing poker. "They'll get you anything with that evil smile."
Kanda and Lavi continue in unison, "Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial. Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar."
I laugh at Kanda's annoyed face. "I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the senses."
"Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser," Lavi says. Lenalee sings, "Get washed up singers writing all my songs. Lip-sync them every night―"
"―so I don't get them wrong!" Lavi, Lenalee, and I finish together.
Lavi picks up the song again. "Well, we all just wanna be big rockstars, and live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars."
Kanda mutters something about idiots. "The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap. We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat."
"And we'll hang out in the coolest bars, in the VIP with the movie stars," I sing. "Every good gold-digger's gonna wind up there."
Lenalee gives herself bunny ears. "Every Playboy bunny with her bleach-blonde hair. And we'll hide out in the private rooms with the latest dictionary of today's who's who."
Kanda and I grin evilly. "They'll get you anything with that evil smile."
Lavi and Lenalee glance between us in fear. "Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial."
"Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar," I sing. The four of us finish, "Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar."
In the exception of Kanda, we all break out laughing. He rolls his eyes. "It's not that funny. And to think the rabbit wants to be a rockstar."
I smile. "Think about it though. He's got girls. He doesn't need money since the Order pays for so much. He's obviously already on drugs of some sort. And he's a rabbit."
"I'm not sure whether I should object to that," Lavi said, seeming to be thinking. Lenalee and I laugh.
After a moment, the four of us agree, "I never want to be a rockstar."