Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly
Author's Notes: Well, Ryoga's gone home safe and sound, but the rest of the NWC have put into play a cunning plan (check the Blackadder series with Rowan Atkinson for the true meaning of "Cunning Plan"). Now Ranma has to face the consequences of his blowing that cunning plan out of the water…..
Nerima Polic Station, Holding Cell, 8AM
"SAOTOME. RANMA SAOTOME!" went through his head like a dull chisel, accompanied by the gaoler tapping his truncheon on each cell door along the hallway. The sadist in a police uniform must have reached his cell because he shouted once agin "RISE AND SHINE, SAOTOME! YOUR MOTHER IS HERE WITH YOUR BAIL!" and then pounded on the cell door with his truncheon.
Ranma rolled over and off of the platform that he'd been trying to sleep upon and creshed to the floor. "Hang on, I'm awake! I'm awake" he shouted, though it came out more as a whisper.
The keys rattled in the door for an exceptionally long time and the door was thrown open to smash against the wall and the gaoler laughed at Ranma's attitude and pained expression.
"Please, please. No more laughing. It… it….. hurts too too much…" Ranma whispered as he tried to stand while holding his head.
"Oh, poor boy! Come on, let's get you tidied up a bit, have the doctor check you over and issue you some pills, and you can go upstairs and meet your mother's wrath."
Ranma tried to cock an eyebrow at the gaoler and failed miserably. Focussing his attention on the goaler's belt, he sighed.
"Why the big sigh, big boy?"
"You're not carrying a gun, so you just can't shoot me now and put me out of my misery."
"Sorry, no such luck. I'll just close the door and you can take care of your necessities. Pound on the door when you're ready. However, don't make me come in after you."
Ranma nodded, and the door was close. "Five minutes, Saotome!" came the gaoler's booming voice.
Ranma shuffled over to the toilet and looked at himself in the metal mirror hanging over it. "Bleh!" he did at himself as he took care of his now extremely-full bladder making itself known.
A minute later, he was trying to quietly pound on the door. The gaoler walked down the hallway and his keys again jangled in the keyhole and the door opened. Ranma stepped out into the hallway as the gaoler closed and locked the door and then pulled the file folder out of the holder next to the door. "This way," he said and pointed Ranma down the hallway to the office labelled "Doctor."
Five minutes later, and a massive amount of pain tablets later, Ranma stepped out into hallway and was pointed to the secured door at the end of the hall. Another crashing pounding by the gaoler on the door had the security lock being remotely released and the door swung open. Another hallway and security door saw Ranma now standing in front of a caged window while the gaoler passed Ranma's folder to the officer on the other side of the window. An envelope with an attached form was laid on the counter and the contents of the envelope enumerated: belt, shoelaces, wallet, pocket change, cellphone, bills from wallet, and a message "Sign here" with a hand passing him a cheap pen and pointing to the spot on the form. Ranma signed and then tucked everything away and followed the Goaler through the last security door into the lobby.
Nodaka Saotome was standing next to Sargent Imia, who was carrying The Book with his finger stuck at a specific point. Ranma guessed that it was marking his page. Ranma also noticed that his mother was not carrying the bundle of the family honor sword, which made him feel a lot better than his first view of Sargent Imia.
He walked over and bowed to his mother and then the Sargent. "I guess that last night really put me in your bad books."
The Sargent nodded and opened the book and looked at the charges. "Drunk and disorderly, fighting, assaulting a police officer, damaging police property, to be specific, bouncing Ryoga Hibiki off of the TWO cruisers responding to the fight call, disorderly conduct and public profanity, property damage. You get to see the magistrate the day after tomorrow at ten o'clock. Mrs. Soatome has the details."
With that, he closed the book, saluted both of them and then walked away. Nodoka looked at her son, sniffed, turned and started walking away. Ramna followed her out of the police station to a waiting taxicab, opened the door and held it for his mother. She looked at him sharply and he looked down at his feet.
"I am not happy with you at the moment. However, there has to be a logical reason for what happened last night. We'll be going to the Tendos and you will explain it all to everyone then."
She slid into the seat and then across to the far side, and Ranma sat down and closed the door, giving the driver the address to go to.
The trip went in absolute quiet, the driver gratefully not trying to engage anyone in random conversation. Within ten minutes, they had reached the address, and Ranma bounded out of the taxi and went around to open the door for his mother, who then walked towards the gate while Ranma fished out the payment from his wallet, finally passing the entire set of bill to the driver and thanking him. The driver tried passing some of it back but the stern glance from Ranma made up his mind. With a quick thank you and goodbye, the driver pulled away, leaving Ranma to pass through the gate and close it behind him.
Ranma stepped into the entranceway and found no one waiting for him. Extending his chi senses, he found that everyone was in the washitsu. Changing his shoes for the sole remaining indoor slipper pair, he stepped fully into the house and turned into the room.
He did a rapid headcount: Suon, Genma, Nadoka, Nibiki, Kasumi, Kodachi, Uyko, Sasumi, Konatsu, and perfecting his utter disaster of a life, Ryoga. Sighing, he stepped towards Ryoga and knelt down in front of him.
"Ryoga," he started, "I was a total prat. The whole night was a setup to get you drunk enough to talk about your two cute young ladies that you'd encountered on your Lost Day. At any time, I could have stopped the plot but I didn't. I'll admit that I was just as curious as they were that one let alone two young ladies had impressed you as much as you had been with Akari. Rather than waiting for you to actually talk about it, we put together a typical Nerima Wrecking Crew cunning plan. Aside from the trip over to the Happy Bottom to celebrate the new members of the dojo, everything else last night was a set up. When you got drunk, I asked you a simple question about the young ladies, and you replied with their names, something that you had been concealing as it involved your honor as a martial artist. An honor that I am now sadly lacking as I reacted to those names and tried to to assault you, a matter made the worse due to my being drunk and not in control of myself."
"I am taking personal responsibility for the events of last evening and will prove my honor to you and the young ladies in question by keeping their names in confidence."
"I think that Ryoga may wish to have words with me in private before I leave. I'll be in the dojo."
Ranma stood and bowed deeply to Ryoga and then gave a glare to the other members of his generation in the Nerima Wrecking Crew and headed out to the dojo, sliding off the slippers and putting them back into their slot and picking up his shoes and walking barefoot to the dojo and leaving his shoes outside by the steps as he stepped inside and sat down in front of the butsudan and then knelt in meditation.
A minute later, Ryoga stepped inside of the dojo and then dropped into meditation beside Ranma.
After two minutes, Ryoga whispered, "even the worst that I did to you, this went way beyond that. You put me in a position of weakness and then took advantage of the situation. What assurances do I have besides your word that you won't let their names slip out when you get drunk or your temper gets the better of you or someone does THIS and THAT to you? Here's a fact that you may not have learned: one of the twosome is under a death sentence from her clan from the moment that she left Nerima. Not only that but the two have tied their fates together. If they get caught, both will be killed. Oh, you haven't heard it? Now you do, so any leak from you can result in their deaths, or if the clan leaders are feeling merciful, a fate literally worse that death. What am I going to do about last night? Nothing. You now know everything that you wanted to know, but you also know the price associated with it. Me? I know my limits and will stay within them, so no one will be able to take advantage of them."
Ryoga stood then walked in front of Ranma, squatted down and reached out with his right hand and flicked Ranma on the forehead between the eyebrows. "Consider that your beat-down from me. The rest is completely up to you."
Looking over Ranma's shoulder, he saw the rest of the plotters peeking in through the doorway. "Yea, you guys, too. Time for all of you to grow up. I have."
With that, he stood up and walked out the door, blinking away in his near-classic "getting lost between one step and the next" move.
Three Days Later, Still No Sign of Ryoga
Ranma was closing an elementary beginners class when Suon waved at him from the door. Quickly closing the class with some quick reminders of what the students needed to practice in preparation for the next class and then dismissing them to their parents, he bowed to the class and then walked over to Suon.
Giving a quick bow, he followed Suon out the door to be greated by the sign of two young Joketsuzoku, along with a pile of pin coordinated airline baggage, sitting within the front gate to the Tendo property.
Ranma smiled, then firmed his expression and approached the pair. A short bow greeted the young warrior. "Greetings, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. You do know that the Joketsuzoku are generally not welcome here at the Tendo Dojo since the day that Akane and Shampoo disappeared and then after Cologne was exiled here?"
Ling-Ling stepped forward and bowed deeply.
"That is why we came here in secret, so that the Council of Elders will not know we have left until we are here and have found Big Sister Shampoo. We watched what was happening in the village and did not like the changes that they were making, and the treaties that they were making with the Men from Beiging against the Mush and the Phoenix People. Others felt the same way but have too much fear. We saw that we could get away, first using the New Phoenix Puppet technique to get away from the valley to the nearest airport and then taking the airplanes to Shanghai and then connecting on to Tokyo and taking the trains to Nerima, then taking a taxi to the dojo."
Ranma nodded and looked at Suon. "Pardon me, Master Tendo, but I must disturb the reisei of the dojo." Suon nodded and walked away and leaned against the dojo, watching events unfold with a seeming nonchalance that he would not have previously shown.
'Okay, let me get a few more facts before I get started. Where did you leave you New Phoenix puppet?"
Ling-Ling responded. "We couldn't pack it in our carry-on luggage as we don't have the level of chi-pockets needed for that. We left it in the automobile parking lot."
Ranma nodded and looked at Lung-Lung. "Where did you purchase your airplane tickets and how did you pay for them?"
Lung-Lung beamed. "We were most careful. We found a merchant at the airport who specialized in travel and asked him for the best and fastest way of reaching Nerima. We also provided him with gold lumps well in excess of the actual price of the tickets to ensure his maintaining his silence. He wore much the same uniform as the Jusenkyo guide, so we knew that we could trust him. "
Ling-Ling tugged on her sister's sleeve. "I don't like Ranma's expression, Lung-Lung. I think that we painted a big straight line from Joketsuzoku to here that the most ill-trained tracker could follow. What we gained in a speedy trip means that they don't have to search for our trail."
Ranma nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. Ling-ling observed this "See, Lung-Lung. He does what mother does just before we get punished."
Suon snickered and gave Ranma a thumbs-up. "Are you sure that they're not your daughters?"
"Not you too, Master Old Man! The first stop for the Amazons on the hunt will be the dojo. Listen you two, do the Elders have a radio that they can contact the Nikohanten?"
The two sisters looked at each other and then shrugged.
Ranma looked over at the pile of pink coordinated suitcases and sighed. "I'm also guessing that you packed all of your Chinese clothing and nothing that would make you disappear into the general Japanese population? Did you also check everything that went into your cases PLUS THE CASES for tracking pebbles or similar markers that would allow them to scry exactly wehre you are?"
Both sisters now looked to be extremely embarrassed and looked at the their feet and scuffed the ground.
"OK, dump all your hidden weapons beside your luggage and come in and have some tea while I try to figure out what we're going to do."
An amazing accumulation of various weaponry and in a wide range of sizes appeared beside the luggage pile. Ranma looked over at the outgoing and incoming students and called out. "STUDENTS!" he called out. The responding "hai, senpai" included Ling-ling and Lung-Lung.
"No one is to go looking or rummaging through this until both Masters Tendo and Saotome and I have had a chance to review any for dangers. These are real weapons and capable of doing SERIOUS DAMAGE to you or the surroundings if not handled properly. They are also THE PERSONAL PROPERTY of Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung who are our guests, and NO MAKING FUN OF THEIR NAMES. They will challenge you for that and will wipe the floor with all of you, if not simply kill you outright. Do I make myself clear?"
"HAI, SENPAI!" came the shouted response. Ranma nodded and waved the two sisters over to the house.
Suon smirked and said, "I'll take the next class. You get the Crew going on figuring out if the Nekohanten is aware of their arrival."