Chapter 21

"So, whatever this thing is it slurpees your brain, sucks you dry," Sam explained to Martin in a hushed voice as Addy and Dean listened him in the patient lounge.

"Nice way to put it, Sasquatch," Addy said under her breath.

"Then it makes the deaths look like suicides. Any ideas?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Martin said, pulling a journal out from his robe and setting it on the table, "A bad one."

He looked at them gravely and flipped through pages until he came to a particularly gruesome drawing.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Well, I bet you a chicken dinner it's what we're up against...a wraith. They crack open skulls and feed on brain juice," Martin explained in a nervous tone.

"You ever tangle with one before?" Sam asked.

"Never. Never wanted to, neither," he replied, revealing his fear.

"Better question," Addy said, "How do we gank it?"

"Silver. You so much as touch a wraith with the stuff, and the skin will crackle. Now, that's the good news. The bad news is...they can pass as humans," he said and they all began looking around the room, scanning everyone in suspicion, "It could be any Peter, Paul and Mary in the joint."

"Fantastic. So, how do we find it?" Dean asked.

"A mirror. Lore says a wraith will show its true form in a mirror," Martin replied.

"Well than we check everyone," Addy said simply, "Shouldn't be too hard."

"Okay. Yeah. I mean, what's it doing in a mental hospital?" Sam asked curiously.

"A nuthouse," Dean said and Addy stiffened, " it's a perfect captive victim pool."

"Sure. Who's gonna believe a patient when they say they saw a monster? It's the perfect hunting ground," Martin said with a forced laugh.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy walked back to the patient lounge, looking for Dean, Sam, or Martin, but was instead blocked by the too happy nurse.

"Hi sweetie how are you?"

"Don't sweetie me," she said, trying to move past her but she blocked her.

"Oh honey is someone in a bad mood?" she asked with a fake pout.

She rolled her eyes, "Lady seriously get out of my way."

She pushed past her, brushing her shoulder and found Dean as he walked towards her.

"I know who it is," he said lowly, "Dr. Fuller. I saw his face in the mirror."

SUPERNATURAL

They snuck into Dr. Fuller's office late at night looking for him. His car keys were still on the table so he was still in the building.

"He's still in the building. You take the west wing. We'll take the east," Dean said and they took off in separate directions, silver plated letter openers in their hands.

She followed beside Dean as they walked down the halls.

"I could've gone on my own," she said after moments of silence, "We would've covered more ground."

"I know," was his reply.

"I don't need you to babysit me."

"I know."

"So why do you do it?" she asked and he stopped walking, causing her to stop as well.

"Because if anything happened to you I might actually have a reason to be in this loony bin," he said with a clenched jaw.

He turned and kept walking, leaving her stunned.

"It hurts," she whispered but he managed to hear it. He stopped and turned back to her.

"What hurts?" he asked, walking back to her.

"My arm," she confessed and then took a deep breath, "but I like that it's hurting because it reminds me that I have to keep going…no matter how much I want to give up."

"You shouldn't have to feel pain to keep going," he said.

She searched his eyes, "Shouldn't I? Jo and Ellen are dead because of-"

"Because of Lucifer," he finished for her, "That son of a bitch did this. Not you."

"I have all this power and I couldn't save Jo… couldn't save Ellen," she said, finally looking him in the eye, "I couldn't even save you and somehow, someway I'm supposed to save the entire world. It feels more likely that I'll end up destroying it."

"You won't."

"Dean there's something very wrong with me," she whispered to him, " I know you see it. I know Sam sees it and Bobby sees it. I'm broken."

"Addy you're not broken," he whispered back.

"Than why can't I say I love you?" she asked, searching his eyes, "I look at you and I know you could give me everything I ever wanted and more, but I can't bring myself to believe it. I know it, but I can't believe it. I want to so bad, but it's like I'm incapable of telling you how I feel because I don't even know if I can feel anymore. If that's not broken than I don't know what is."

He stared at her in shock.

"Dean please say something," she pleaded, "Anything."

His mouth opened and closed, searching for the right words but in that moment he could find none.

She looked away from him and sucked in a breath, "We should keep looking for Dr. Fuller."

She began to walk away but he grabbed her arm and yanked her to him.

"You're not broken," he whispered and connected their lips. She was shocked at first, but soon wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

When they pulled apart for air, he leaned his forehead against hers and repeated, "You're not broken."

She was about to speak when they heard what sounded like Sam screaming out. They exchanged an alarmed look and ran back in the direction they came. They followed the noise until they rounded a corner to see Sam being dragged away but orderlies. They hid behind the wall so they didn't get caught and watched him being taken away.

"Damn it they got him," Dean whispered.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy followed in after Dean as they snuck into where Sam was being held. She quietly closed the door behind her and turned to see Sam restrained to the bed and looking out at nothing with a dazed look.

"You okay?" Dean asked, approaching him.

"No. No, I'm not okay. I-I am...awesome..."he said slowly.

"What the hell did they give you?" Addy asked, standing next to Dean.

"They gave me...everything. It's spectacu—lacular," he said with a laugh.

Addy chuckled at him as Dean said, "You always were a happy drunk."

Sam suddenly became very serious and grabbed Dean's arm, pulling him down," Dean...the doctor...wasn't a wraith."

"We know," Addy said, "Martin told us."

" I don't understand it. I mean, I saw it in the mirror. It wasn't human," Dean said, still trying to figure where he went wrong.

"Or you're seeing things. Maybe-maybe-maybe you're going crazy," Sam said, looking at his brother and Addy looked between the two.

"I'm not crazy."

"Well...come on. I mean, you've been at least...half crazy for a long time, and since you got back from hell, or since before that, even. I mean, we're in a-we're in a mental hospital," he laughed and she failed to see the humor, "Maybe-maybe you finally cracked. You know, maybe now you are really...for real...crazy..."

Addy looked to Dean. Even though Sam was higher than a kite she could see the effect his brother's words were having on him.

"Alright that's enough," Addy said, pulling Dean back a little, "It's time for bed Sasquatch."

He stared at her, "I know you hate it here. It reminds you of your Mom and how you think you're gonna end up here one day. You're wrong though."

"I really think you should sleep, Sam," she whispered to him.

"You two are good for each other," he said and the grabbed his brother back, "It's okay...because you're my brother...and I still love ya."

He tapped Dean on the nose and laughed as Addy stared at him.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy walked around the hospital, looking for Dean. She hadn't seen him since last night when they'd gone back to their rooms to avoid be caught. I had been all day and they hadn't met up in the patient lounge like he said.

Worry was really starting to set in. She felt someone following behind her and she whirled around to see Lucifer.

"Miss me?" he asked as she began backing away with wide eyes.

"You're not real," she whispered, screwing her eyes shut, "You're in my head."

"Hey maybe if you say it enough it'll come true," he taunted and she turned and sprinted around the corner.

"Not real," she chanted to herself, "He's not real."

She collided with something hard and fell back. She stared up at Lucifer and scooted away as he walked closer and closer.

"You know I'll give you credit, Addy," he said with a smile, "You hid it well. How broken you are, but there's no covering it now is there."

Her back hit a wall and she curled up as Lucifer dropped down to her. She shut her eyes as she felt his hot breath on her face, "You can't hide from me. You can't lie to me. I know how much you hurt."

"Not real," she whispered, tangling her hands in her hair, "You're not real."

An hour later an orderly found her in fetal position chanting "not real" over and over again, banging her head against the wall.

When he tried to pull her away, she kicked and screamed at the top of her so loud it could be heard through the entire hospital.

SUPERNATURAL

"Rita, maybe you could explain to me why you injured three of our employees," Dr. Fuller said as she sat in her room. She'd gotten them to remove the restraints but in all honestly she might be better off with them.

"You wouldn't believe me so what's the point," she said, curled into herself, "You think it's all just in my head. That I'm sick. That I need help."

"I'm your help, Rita," he said gently, "I'm here to help you."

She looked up at him with wet eyes and cheeks, "I didn't say you'd be wrong."

He was taken aback by her words, "You think there's something wrong with yourself."

She laughed, "I know there's something wrong with me. I've known it for a long time. I've accepted it. It's the only thing that I can guarantee about myself."

"If you know something's wrong that why didn't you seek help?" he asked, almost curiously.

"Because if I asked someone to help me with my sort of problems I'd end up right where I am now," she said with a scoff, "And I hate it here."

"Rita the first step to getting better is realizing that there's something wrong," he said, "You've already gotten there so the rest comes with it."

"You don't get it," she whispered, "There is no getting better for me. This is all I've got for the rest of my life."

"I'd say you have more than your problems," he suggest, "You've got your friends. The ones who came here with you."

She didn't answer.

"You've got Eddie," he said and it takes her a second to remember he's referring to Dean, "He cares for you deeply. I see it."

"I thought we were dangerously codependent," she said sarcastically.

"Aren't most people in love?"

She looked up at him in confusion.

"It's not hard to pick out, Rita," he said with a small smile, "What you and Eddie have is something very special."

She scoffed, " You have no idea."

"Even if both of you suffer from delusions of some sort," he began, "There's nothing wrong with leaning on someone who loves you."

Her eyes settled on something behind him, "What if it gets him killed?"

The doctor continued talking, but she stopped listening. All she saw was Lucifer, leaning in a corner of the room with a smug smile on his face.

SUPERNATURAL

It's late at night when Dean and Martin walk into her room. She doesn't move her eyes from the spot where's Lucifer's standing.

"Addy," Dean says gently and she still doesn't move, "Addy, I'm going crazy."

She laughs humorlessly, "Join the club."

"Wait, you too," he whispers.

"Lucifer's standing right behind you," she whispers back, "And chances are he's not really real."

"Wait did you kiss Wendy too?"

She finally looks at him with a raised brown, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Wendy kissed me and Sam, remember?" he asked, shaking his head to clear it, "but she didn't kiss you."

She tore her eyes away from Lucifer and looked to Dean, "But you kissed me. You must have transferred it to me."

"Oh God I did this to you," he said, clutching his head.

"Dean snap out of it," she said, glancing at Martin, "We have to go find Wendy."

She glanced from Dean to Lucifer, "Now."

SUPERNATURAL

Addy clutched her knife as she followed behind Martin and Dean who was walking oddly.

"Dean?" Martin says, noticing his walk and giving him an odd look.

"I can't step on the cracks," he said and normally she would mock him for it to relive tension but Lucifer's standing behind her so it wouldn't do much.

They continue walking and then they hear a woman shriek. They sprint in the direction it comes from and Addy made it to the room first and kicked it down as Dean came up behind her. They look with wide eyes as the nurse that was just a little too happy takes her hand from Wendy's slumped head to reveal a sharp pointed sticking out of her wrist.

"Is this real?" Dean asked with wide eyes.

She licked the skewer and it sucked back into her wrist, "Oh, it is, sugar. It's very real."

With that, she grabbed Addy by the collar and threw her to the opposite side of the room. She crashed into the wooden table and it collapsed under her assault. She landed on the ground with a pained groan and blurry vision.

She gets up, leaning on the bed and inches her hand towards Wendy's neck. She felt her pulse beating, but barely. She looked up to see Martin cut the wraith with his knife and she fled as I burned her skin. Dean dropped to the ground and she scrambled over to him.

"Martin, Wendy's alive,," she ordered him as she turned Dean's head to look at her, "Dean, come on pull it together."

"You've gotta get out here and kill that thing. I'll take care of her," Martin said behind her.

"I can't," he says, slumped against the wall.

"Dean listen to me," she whispered, "We're gonna get up and we're gonna kill this thing because it's what we do."

"I can't," he says.

"For me," she whispers, "I need you to do it for me."

That seems to snap him out of his trace and she throws his arm over her shoulder to pull him up as orderlies rush in, too distracted by Wendy to notice them escaping.

She helps him get down the halls with great difficulty. He's much heavier than her and she's supporting most of his weight as she follows the trail of blood the wraith left from where Martin had cut her.

"Come on, Dean," she mumbles and he leans on the nearest wall. She tried to pull him back up to no avail.

"I can't," he says again, "I can't."

"Neither can you," Lucifer says from beside her.

She lets him go and he falls onto the ground. She kneels in front of him, racking her brain on what to do.

"Gonna have to think fast, Addy," Lucifer taunts, "Dean's not looking too good."

"Dean," she says gently, "Dean you look at me."

He does as she says and she holds his face in her hands.

"This isn't you," she says sternly, "The Dean Winchester I know never gives up. The Dean Winchester I know isn't scared of some cracks in the floor let alone a wraith. The Dean Winchester I lov…care about would get up and then go help me kick this things ass."

"Addy, I just don't know anymore," he whispers.

"You don't have to know. You just have to help me fight."

"Go," he said, "I'm slowing you down. You need to go."

"I won't leave you," she said, shaking her head furiously.

"Addy you have to go," he said again and she took one last look at him, pressed a kiss to his lips, and then ran off in the direction of the blood.

SUPERNATURAL

The blood leads to one of the rooms that are restricted for particularly violent patients. She can hear Sam yelling inside and she barges in, knife in hand to see the wraith just about to pierce a tied down Sam's head.

"Let him go!" she orders, her vision spinning.

She laughs and retracts the skewer, "You know I've barely gotten any venom into you. Guess you didn't have that long a way to go to crazy."

"Guess not," she replies with a shrug and lunges for her. She ducks and pushes her into the wall. It takes all she has to turn back and try again but this time she grabs her injured arm and gives it a hard squeeze. Addy yells in pain as the knife falls from her other hand and the wraith pulls her up by her hair. She slams her into the wall by her throat and she sees Sam struggle against his restraints.

She gasped for air and tries to pry her hand off her throat. With her free hand, the skewer extends from her wrist. She tries to hold her back but it gets closer and closer to her face.

"Come on Addy," she says, "You can't win."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she asked and then broke the skewer from her wrist. She screamed in pain and as blood spurted from her hand. Addy dropped the thing in disgust.

"Bitch!" she screams and back hands her so hard she goes flying into the wall, "You're going to pay for that."

She advances on her as Addy tries to get up to defend herself.

Suddenly, she screams in pain and drops to the ground dead. Dean is behind her, bloodied knife in hand. He drops it and goes over to Addy, pulling her up.

"You okay?" he ask.

"Yeah," she replies with a small smile and then goes over to Sam as they unstrap his wrist and ankles.

"You still crazy?" Sam ask them.

"No more than usual," Dean says as Addy helps him sit up.

The alarm sounds and they exchanged worried looks.

SUPERNATURAL

They made it to the Impala, hidden in some trees behind the hospital.

"Well, looks like Tom Cruise was right. Shrinks suck," Dean said, going to the driver's door.

"Agreed," Addy said, about to get in as well but she noticed Sam lingering near the trunk.

"Sam come on," she said and then noticed the far off look in his eyes, "Sam what's wrong?"

"The wraith…" he began, trailing off.

"What about her?" Dean asked.

"She was right," he said.

"Sam she ate people's brains," Addy said, "There's nothing right about her."

"She's right, Sam," Dean agreed, "She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve."

"Most of the time, I can hide it, but I am angry. I'm mad at everything," he confessed, "I used to be mad at you and Dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer, and I make excuses. I blame Ruby or the demon blood, but it's not their fault. It's not them. It's me. It's inside me. I'm mad all the time and I don't know why."

"So what if you are?" Dean ask, stepping towards his brother, "What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What?"

"No, of course not," Sam assures him.

"Exactly. And that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all that crap and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going! That's how we don't end up like Martin! Are you with us?"

Dean's met with his brother's silence.

"Come on, man. Are you with us?" Dean ask again.

He's still silent but Addy goes up to him and gently takes his hand, "I understand, Sam. I understand better than anyone, but you don't just bury it. You use it. Turn it into something that can keep you going. Now are you with us?"

"I'm with you," he says to her and Dean.

"Good. Let's get the hell out of here," Dean says opening his door and Addy stays with Sam until he goes to the passenger seat.

They all slid in and then drove off into the night.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy stepped out of her motel bathroom, towel drying her hair in an oversized shirt that brushed her mid thigh and came over her shorts. She was overly grateful to be out of the clothes they'd given her at the mental ward.

She heard a knock at her door and she didn't have to ask to know who it was. She went over and opened it to see Dean.

"Hi," she said as he stood in the doorway.

"Hey," he replied, walking in and she closed the door behind him.

She stared at her hand on the knob as she felt Dean's presence close behind her. She turned to him and he was even closer than she thought. Her back to the door, he kissed her in that way he always did. The way that made her want to say what he needed to hear. The way that made her forget all inhibitions she had about being with him.

He pulled away and she whispered, "There's the Dean Winchester I know."

He chuckled and brushed a misplaced piece of hair from her forehead, "Just wanted to say goodnight,"

She scoffed," That's how you say goodnight?"

"Would you rather me shake your hand?" he asked with a smirk.

She laughed and stared down at his lips, "You don't have to go right away."

"You and I both know that if I stay we'll do a lot more than sleeping," he whispered in her ear.

"Maybe that's the point," she replied.

"Sleep tight princess."

"Night Dean," she said and listened to him open the door and leave but not before adding, "I know you almost said it and I can wait as long as I have to so I can hear the whole thing."

With that, the door closed and she whirled around with wide eyes.