Akane Hits the Big One, The Finale
Author's Notes: This story is now on its last legs. No, not because I'm running out of ideas, but I have actually come up with a suitable ending that won't take twenty chapters to line up the stars and characters and to get them all moving in the right direction. Yes, I have managed to herd cats.
Tendo Household, A month later; 5PM
Ranma looked across the dojo at the twins who were working hard a getting the latest toddler beginner exercise class, having them get into the crane position and then hopping from foot to foot while flapping their arms in sync with their hops. The sync was momentary and rapidly devolved into the cranes becoming so many crows. Going with the flow, the twins mutated the exercise into a murder of crows running around the dojo flapping and cawing then breaking into laughter. They looked at Ranma in apology and got a shrug and smirk in reply, which resulted in a return smile from both of them.
The murder rapidly went into gliding and then lined up and "landed" in the right position for the start of their lesson. "STUDENTS!" he called. The crows immediately straightened, assumed the short bow and went "HAI, SENPAI!" in sync. "This evening, we are going to teach you a new position and to complete your first kata as martial artists…."
In the course of the half hour, Ranma demonstrated the position and then got everyone into close proximity of having it, then got the class to name the positions and then to work their way through it, shouting the position at each step, then got them moving through the sequence individually with corrections and adjustments from Ranma and the twins. The group session finished with a demonstration for the parents that was remarkably in sequence and in rhythm.
"CLASS!" called Ramna.
"HAI, SENPAI!" came back the tired but enthusiastic response.
"Good lesson, everyone! You have completed your first kata, which will be the basis for everything else you will learn here and elsewhere! Answer me this: what is the duty of a martial artist?"
"Defend the weak, speak the truth, listen to Mom and Dad and our senpais, EAT OUR VEGETABLES!"
Ranma applauded the students. "Good! Great! Practice the kata at home and we'll see you next week!"
Ranma turned to find Genma scowling at him. "What?" he quipped at his father.
"You taught them that just to annoy me, didn't you."
"And your reaction encourages them. It's definitely miles ahead of 'the life of a martial artist is fraught with trouble and conflict.'"
Genma handed him a note. "This came from Cologne."
Ranma did a quick check on the envelope for signs of traps and then opened it.
Genma tried to read over his son's shoulder and got the literal cold shoulder. He backed off and went over to start up the next class. Ranma read the note and headed over to the twins.
"I'm going to have to go out this evening and help at the Nekohanten. SOMEONE managed to totally screw up the waiting schedule and can you ask Nibiki to see if she and Kodachi can help out?"
The twins nodded and seemed to gather themselves. "Ranma, c-c-c-could we help out? I, we, mean that we like Ku Long and she's always been nice to us back in Joketsuzoku."
Ranma shook his head, "Two reasons: it's a school night and you need to do your homework and get your sleep; second, this could be a ploy to get you isolated at the Nekohanten and use some of those Amazon potions on you while you're out of sight for a minute or two."
The twins shuddered and slumped their shoulders. "Hai, senpai. Be careful yourself, Ranma, and give our love to Ku Long," they said and then moved off to the entrance to the dojo and headed for the house.
Genma caught his eye and Ranma looked over to see his father use an old gesture from their decade long "training trip" - a watch out for traps gesture followed by a thumbs-up brefore he turned to his class and started following the lesson plan.
Six hours later at the Nekohanten
Ranma, wearing his tightest chongsam, dodged his way through the restaurant with a load of dirty dishes, which he quickly deposited in the intake area of the ktichen before he turned and caught the flying bowls of ramen to sprint with them into the sea of tables and depositing them on the appropriate tables, then sliding over to grab a cleaning cloth and collect yet another load of dirty dishes before swinging by the cash register to thank a customer for their patonage, take their payment, provide the change and a special coupon to apologize for the poor service for the evening. Nibiki and Gosunkugi looked up from trying to manage the flood of dirty and clean dishes in opposite directions and Ranma smiled at them and gave a quick thumbs-upand they nodded back.
Swinging back into maelstrom that was the restaurant on that evening, he saw Miss Hinako greeting the newest tableful of customers and Kodachi arriving with the menu for the day and to start the litany of the daily specials and seeing the obgligatory-for-tonight-special-discount coupons being proferred.
A growl came from the kitchen area as Colonge took note of the presence of another coupon as well as the stream of orders coming in. Ranma grabbed the appetizers and ramen bowls that were stacked there and distributed them to the waiting customers, offering apologies for the crowds that evening and making sure that glasses were filled, orders taken and customers kept jollied. In fact, most of the customers, even the wives, were relaxed and taking the chaos and clamour as being part of the entertainment for the evening, to the point that they cleared their tables quickly, making room for the next round of eaters.
Ranma stole a quick glance at the wall clock and did a quick mental juggle of the remaining time and the crowd of potential customers standing outside of the Nekohanten. He growled himself, and Cologne sailed a bowl of Ramen at him. "If you have time to look at the clock, you have time to serve. Table three, six and eight. Run, girl! Kodachi, orders for udon for tables one, three and nine, and be careful not to spill or drop any. Hinako, clear table two and get the next set down when you finish at the register. Gosunkugi! More bowls! Nabs! More rice and noodles!"
"It's Nibiki!" came the requisite response.
Half an hour past closing time at the Nekohanten
Cologne was doing the final wiped-down of the cooking surface while Ranma, Nibiki and Gosunkugi finished off the dishes and stacked things for the next day, The reamaining wait staff were scattered around the various tables and straightening things. Well, most of them were, but Miss Hinako was in her child form and was counting the day's take and portioning out the payments for everyone.
It was at this moment that the front door of the Nekohanten banged open and Mousse and the remaining Amazons stomped their way in, laughing and boisterous from the evening's drinking. Mousse walked over to the cash register, bumped Miss Hinako aside and then proceeded to pocket the complete day's take. "Sorry, but no one gets paid, and if anyone wants to discuss that, they can just talk to Big Annie over here…." indicating the massive Amazon female who cracked her knuckles repeatedly, obviously spoiling for a fight.
"Thought not," he smirked as he sidled over to inspect Ranko's ample bosum. "If you want to get paid for tonight, all you have to do is to tell us how to find Shampoo." At the glared silence, he shrugged and again went "thought not. By-the-by, there's another set of discount coupons out for tomorrow. How long do you think that you can carry on without money in the till to pay for groceries, for the free help? Another couple days and word will be out and you'll not have any customers who will drop by, which means that you'll have to fold up and come home to Joketsuzoku, and we can take over the Nekohanten and make it our stepping stone into Japan to chase down Shampoo and the other Ronin as you like to call the traitors."
"Of course, RANKO or RANMA, you can stop all of this. Give me Shampoo. Better yet, give me Shampoo and your body and I'll put back Cologne and the Ronin. Just one night in my bed….."
Ranma stepped back and started brigning up his fists when Colongne shook her head and he subsided.
Mousse again said "thought not, so you all will pay the price. Good night, don't forget to lock the doors. Don't want to have anything get stolen or vandalized, do we? See you tomorrow, Ku Long." The other Amazons laughed and pushed their way past the Nerima Wrecking Crew and up the back stairs to the apartments.
Ranma looked around at everyone. "Thanks for all your efforts, everyone. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'll cover your pay for tonight. But Mousse is right, we can't keep this up if they're running this as a regular effort rather than just a one-night item. Any ideas, anyone?"
Cologne was rummaging around under the counter when she stood up and pushed a small black package over to Nibiki, who enclosed it in her hand and then slipped it into her jeans pocket.
She walked over to Ranma, and hooked her arm into his and started tugging him towards the door. "Come on, dear, it's late and there is nothing more that we can do here tonight. We have to get home and go to our regular jobs tomorrow. Come on everyone, we can think of how we're going to respond tomorrow when we're fresh and rested."
Pushing Ranma out of the door, she looked back at Cologne. "Don't worry, Ranma always comes through in the end. I'll drop by tomorrow for lunch, Okay?"
"Yes, dearie. Thank you for all your efforts, everyone," as she hopped over and closed the door behind them and then pulled the blinds down and turned out the lights.
Ranma got about fifty feet down the road with everyone trailing after him before his tired brain actually fired off. "Nabs, what do you mean that I'll come through in the end like I always do?"
"That's Nibiki and you usually do, one way or the other. In this case, it's 'other'. Not martial arts but using your brains, or rather the brains around you. Now, no more talking or even thinking. Everyone, go home and we'll regroup tomorrow at Uyko's in the evening. Miss Hinako, you are barely hanging in there, you're coming home with us and I'll put you up in the twins room. "
Everyone nodded and started slipping away to their respective houses. Ranma scooped up Miss Hinako and started carrying her with her head resting on his shoulder. Nibiki followed along, consulting her phone before making a call and having a quiet conversation with whoever was on the other end of the call.
Next morning, Tendo Residence 7:30AM
The strident peal of an alarm clock jarred Ranma awake, where he found that he was on a futon with a weight spread across his front. Pulling the quilt aside, he found that he was still en femme and had Miss Hinako sprawled up his front with her head wedged between his breasts. He sighed and whispered, "thank goodness that there were lot of spare t-shirts kicking around here last night. Not sure how we got here . Come on, dear, time to get up."
Miss Hinako squirmed and rubbed her head against Ranma's 'pillows' and was gradually coming awake when the twins exploded out of their (or rather Akane's old) bed and tripped over them. They stood gobsmacked until Ranko glared at them and made head-gestures at the door while quietly trying to extract Miss Hinako from her current position. Both smirked and went "ta-ra!" while heading to the furo.
Finally getting Miss Hinako off of him and stumbling for the furo, she pulled herself up and headed down the stairs. Hearing the TV, she peeked around the corner to see Nabiki staring raptly at the set, watching the local news, all without massive quatities of coffee to bump-start her day.
"Our lead-off story today: Nerima. Elements of the Minato Police Services, Public Security Intelligence Agency, Department of Immigration and Border Protection, and National Police Agency Security Bureau executed search and arrest warrants on a local restaurant, the Nekonaten. According to early sources, the charges involve espionage, theft of funds, illegal money laundering and transfers, threatening, illegal weapons, illegal entry into Japan, illegal residence in Japan, failure to register, and elder abuse.
Our reporter on the scene, Keiji Sakohara, has commented that he has been told that this was being planned for some time but events at the Nekohanten last night triggered a police investigation which then triggered the raid and arrests. Apparently, according to Keiji, yesterday's massive discount offering was the tipping point, and that the owner of the Nekohanten, known as Cologne, is not involved in the arrests but is actively cooperating with the various agencies in the investigation.
More details as they become available. Now, on to Kyoto and the mystery of the vanishing small black piglet..."
Ranma started at the TV set and then at Nibiki, who turned from the TV set and stared back at him. She held up a finger and shook her head, then glanced behind him at the twins who were standing at the foot of the stairs.
Ranma sighed and said. "Do you two want to make a side-trip and see if Cologne needs any help?" Their heads moved slowly up and down as they sat and started getting ready for breakfast. Kasumi placed their teas in front of them and returned to the kitchen, stopped and turned around at the entrance.
"I don't think that we actually have anything to fear about your adoptions, we went through all the legal stuff with the Fukashimas and were really careful to make sure that we had filed everything to create the papertrail of you coming into the country through an airport, clearing customs and immigration properly, arriving in Nerima and staying with us and then being adopted so that you can go to school and be properly registered. The only thing that could impact the adoption is that if you lied at any point or you are actively involved in what is going on at the Nekohanten. In which case, be open and honest about it if you get asked any questions from the police or any of the other groups involved. Wakarimas?"
The twins nodded, gave a sideways glance with each other and then chimed softly, "wakarimas."
The departure for schools was verging on everyone being late, thanks to Miss Hinako behaving more like an eight-yea-old rather than the mature teacher that she was supposed to be, solved by a quick 5-yen drain of Ranma since he was the only one who did not have classes and could effectively blow off any other engagements for the day. That then resulted in trying to find adult clothing or non-lolicon clothing that didn't look like they'd been spray-painted. Nibiki solved that by diving into the collection of formal kimonos that had been left behind by Akane and the crane-themed uchikake with a different set of underpinnings wound up on Miss Hinako with dire warnings about the consequences of any food spills or youthening due to chi-blasts at delinquents. Ranma's reaction to the newly-resplendent Miss Hinako was to cock an eyebrow at Nibiki and muttering about some dire consequences for himself, then scooping her up in a bridal carry and dashing for the Nekohanten with the twins providing wingman service on any obstacles or random waterings and cattings.
Five minutes later, outside of the Nekohanten
Ranma slowed to a stop and deposited Miss Hinako on her feet just outside of the police tape with the twins practically hiding behind him while trying to take in everything. Police vehicles, military vehicles, fire trucks and ambulances were all clustered in front of the Nekohanten with police tap marking off the surrounding stores, alleyways and half of the street. Several paddywagons (military grade) were in the process of being stuffed with various Amazon residents of the Nekohanten as well as a large pet carrying-case with a highly indignant duck using what sounded like Mandarin obscenities, especially when it caught sight of Ranma and tried taking off in his direction, case, police and all. That situation was solved by someone the size of a very large sumo wrestler in SWAT attire, grabbing the case, stripping off the other police officers, smashing the case against one of the military-grade paddywagons, then against the ground and then firing it inside the back of another wagon. The only sound was that of pocket money changing hands in the surrounding civilian crowd at the straight-forward manner of securing a shape-shifting martial artist. The other police officers involved dusted themselves off and then saluted their rescuer.
"Ah, Saotome! Just the person that I was hoping to see!" came the quiet sound of Sargent Imia from beside him. Sighing, Ranma acknowledged the officer and asked if there was anything that he could do to help.
The sargent smiled and nodded. "Let me introduce Detective Sargent Masao Naito from the Public Security Intelligence Agency." The DS produced his warrant card and showed it to everyone, returned it to his pocket and then checked a clipboard and started making notes and tick-marks on the printed sheet.
"Ah, Mr. Saotome, Ranma or Ranko or Yoio Hibiki, depending upon circumstances. And this is the Tendo twins, Rin and Lum or rather Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, and the last member of your party is Hinako Ninomiya. Am I correct in this?" Ranma and Miss Hinako nodded. "Good! Now, I do not need to talk to you two right away due to the press of other events right now, but I've been given to understand from Cologne or Ku Long that you two were working at the Nekohanten last night. Correct?" The two nodded again. "Good," he said as he made some quick notes. "Is there anywhere we can meet in about three hours or so so that we can get your deposition on the events of last night, maybe lunch at Uyko's Place?" Both nodded again. "One last item, Ranma-san, can you please let everyone else know about this? It will be easier to do this there rather than at a police station."
With- that, the two bowed and headed back into the chaos of the investigation.
Rin tugged at his sleeve and pointed across at the back of an ambulance where a small person was quietly smoking a pipe while being interviewed by some other police officers. Cologne looked up and waved, a big cheesy grin spread across her face. The twins waved back and Cologne gave a quick thumbs-up.
"OK, Ranma-sama. We can go to school now," the twins sync-spoke.
As Ranma swept up Miss Hinako once again, and she slipped her arms round his neck, she whispered "Looks like we've been given our marching orders for the day. Better get us to our destinations before you poop out, Ranma-kun..."
Three hours later at Uyko's Place
Ranma strolled into Uyko's and waved at her and then looked at Konatsu. "Did Sargent Imai…"
Konatsu bowed and led the way to the back corner of the restaurant where the others were sitting, including the twins.
Ranma's right eyebrow tried climbing into his hairline as the girls regarded their hands on the table. Lung-Lung glared at her sister and said, "we have to let them know it all, sister. Remember what Kasumi told us: if we want to stay here in Japan, we have to be honest."
PSIA DS Naito looked up from his note-taking and asked, "does this mean that your adoption was a lie?"
Both twins shook their heads. "No, Naito-sama. That was all true. So was what happened in the village where we were told to spy on the Tendos and find out where Akari and Shampoo had gone and to report what we found out to Mousse and the other Amazons so they could capture the two and take them to Joketsuzoku and then force them to run the gauntlet and then give them to Mousse.
Naito was holding up a finger to indicate that they should hold while he scribbled frantically, then circled the finger to indicate for them to continue on.
Lung-Lung drew a deep breath and then took a quick look at her sister, who nodded back. "When we were packing everything to come here, Mother came into our room and stuffed a package into one of my suitcases and then whispered to us what we needed to do and say as soon as we arrived in the country, something that we decided not to do at the time as we wanted to see Ranma and everyone else, and they all started to take care of us and then brought us into the Tendo family and then sent us to school, and all. We need to say this now so that you know everything…."
Looking at her sister, they both stood and stepped away from the table to stand in the aisle and faced Sargent Aima and DS Naito. "Please, sirs. We wish to claim refugee status and claim political asylum. We wish to cooperate fully with authorities in validating our claim. We have fled an authoritarian regime and face imprisonment or death should we return. We have been sent to act as spies and to cause the abduction of at least one Japanese citizen to be taken out of the country and made subject to torture and death. We came with evidence to substantiate our claim."
Naito finished taking their dictation and then sat back and considered the notes that he'd just taken. He put his pencil down on top of the notes, folded his hands and looked at the twins silently.
"I cannot make a decision on this without consulting my superiors. I will bring this to their attention as soon as I get back to the office. Certainly, if you had made this claim when you arrived, odds are that today's actions would have taken place shortly after your arrival rather than months later. However, your mother left the final decision to telling us up to you. So you cannot be faulted for delaying that event. From what I've heard, you two have been exemplary young adults, very much at odds with your fellow Amazons. Now, you mentioned evidence, where can I get my hands on that package that your mother had hidden in your luggage?"
Ling-Ling lifted her hand. "In my largest case, the one with the knife marks on the outside. Ranma, can you ask the ninjas to bring the case?"
Kodachi lifted her hand. "Sasuke, can you spread the word and get the case back as soon as possible? I think that Agent Naito would like to have everything untouched."
Sasuke nodded then jumped down and headed out the doorway.
Lung-Lung looked at the Agent. "waht do we do in the meantime?"
Agent Naito smiled. "Simple, relax. You have done your duty and are surrounded by family and friends. If there are any more questions or papers that need to be completed, I know where to go. Live your life as it should be lived."
Kyoto, four months later
Standing at the edge of the deck at Kiyomizu-dera, Ranma leaned on the railing and started taking pictures of the school class below him.
"Are you sure that you're not some sort of pervert, taking pictures of schoolgirls when they don't pay attention," came the quiet words from behind him.
He carefully put the camera down and then turned to face the person behind him. He found himself looking into the face of a maiko, in full makeup and kimono, with a slight cheesy smile and looking up at his face.
"Ah," he smiled back."It may look that way, but no, sorry, I long outgrew my being a pervert. I leave that to my grand master, Happosai, who seems to have created an entire martial arts skill wrapped around it."
Her head tilted over just a bit as she regarded him and she smiled coquettishly. "So, you are a big strong martial artist. What school?"
He nodded and made a bow. "Ranma Saotome, Nerima, Anything Goes School of Indescriminate Grappling."
"My! What a pompous sounding name. Are you sure that you can beat me?"
Ranma took a hard look at her and then skimmed her up and down. "Pardon my familiarity but could you show me your hands?"
"And may I ask why, since I would be putting myself at your mercy?"
He nodded. "A wise precaution. Here, I'll put my hands in my pockets and you can stand back a bit and I'll look at them from here."
Ranma put his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the railing while she stepped back three long strides and then held up her hands.
Ranma squinted. "I can see that you've been trained in playing koto, shamsen and kiwa." He looked at her face. "Ah, you also play the shakuhachi but that is for your own pleasure rather than for your training, fewer marks. Tea ceremony martial arts, rhythmic gymnastics martial arts but you have trouble with the ribbon, archery, katana, tanto, jiu-jitsu, some judo, karate, lots of other styles to even out the generation of callouses, pistols and truncheons and most recently chop sticks and parfait spoons."
She quirked her eyebrows. "And you told me all that by looking at my hands, especially the last bit?"
He shook his head. "The pattern of callouses is unique for each discipline and they imply multiple skills. Plus food stains, splashes and bits of rice where they wouldn't normally be. Not enough to ruin your clothes but enough to see if you know what you're looking for. You did enjoy your lunch today, but you need to watch out for stray rice in your hair."
"And I suppose that this will impress me to no end, making it easy for you to have your vile way with me?"
He laughed. "No, not really. However, getting back to your original question, yes. Hard won but yes."
"You do have a high opinion of yourself, don't you?"
Ranma nodded. "So, I've been told by multiple people and at regular intervals, even by a few gods or at least THEY claimed that they were gods."
The maiko laughed. "And you beat them, too?"
"In the end, which may prove that they were not gods. However, I don't make a habit NOW of answering every challenge with a fight."
"And those young ladies that you were so interested in?"
"Well, two of them are adopted daughters of one of my masters and my responsibility today. Today is a special treat for their class as they all passed their exams and completed their summer homework. Something tells me that they are developing the 'Martial Arts School of Studying and Homework.' And the reason that I am up here is that I'm afraid of them - they appear to have this belief that they have marriage rights on me, thanks to their older sister."
The maiko giggled. "Come on! They cannot be THAT bad."
"Unfortunately, they CAN. The fortunate bit is that aren't serious about it, often. Before you get feeling all superior, they have been asking questions about maikos, so you might want to get away before they figure out who I am talking to and make some really wrong assumptions."
"Raaaaaanma! Have you been talking to strange maikos again?" came the tones from two young ladies who were now standing in the corner of the verandah.
Ranma rolled his eyes. "I did warn you. If you have to fight them, watch out, they like to double-team with contrary attack styles…."
"Hey, Ranma! That's not fair. You're telling her how to beat us." Coming over, they bowed to the maiko and introduced themselves.
The maiko smiled and responded. "I am very pleased to meet you, my name is …. Kitten."