This takes place during Shadowkiss, sometime after Rose's "breakdown".
CHAPTER 1.
"Then, Ryan started hitting on Camilla the second Shane left for the bathroom, which was a big mistake, because literally three seconds later, Alberta, out of fucking nowhere, grabbed him by the neck and swung him into like three desks, knocking them all over, and then "killing" me and Zelkos. Man, you wouldn't believe the bitching out he got. Now, Shane is pissed at him for flirting with Camilla, he's got a huge black mark on his record, as well as a cracked rib. Let me tell you, for someone so small, Alberta can definitely bench like four times her weight."
Christian grinned triumphantly while retelling his first hand accounts of the gossip that has been circling St. Vlads since second period. I would be sucking up this dirt like a sponge, especially since Ryan had been a major ass since my two year "vacation", yet a story really loses its charm after hearing it twenty five times. Lissa was trying to seem attentive to her boyfriend, but vibes of indifference were radiating through the bond. Adrian looked drunk, and Eddie hella bored. So it seemed like a usual lunch.
I was mid-bite of what seemed like a Caesar salad - although the chicken tasted suspicious - when Lissa interjected.
"Did it hurt? When she grabbed you?"
"Well yeah, slightly, I have a bruise." Christian mused, trying to look macho as Lissa "awww"ed and leaned in for a kiss.
At the mention of a bruise, Adrian looked up, "Oh really? Here, let me try-" Adrian pulled down Christians shirt to better reveal the bruise.
"You're not actually gonna try heal that? That's not even a bruise, it's a mosquito bite. Suck it up." I sounded more harsh than I meant to be, but I couldn't help it. I was ready to get back into bed and sleep off this day, but it wasn't even midnight.
First off, I woke up before the sun was even close to setting to get in a training session with Dimitri, which was cut off ten minutes in because some strange man with the weirdest beard interrupted us to talk to Dimitri. The whole conversation was in Russian, so I had no clue what was going on, until Dimitri ended the session to go talk to the guy in private. Not as if I could understand anyway. Then, I missed breakfast to have a grating therapy session, where Deirdre interrogated me until I was past the point of madness. When I got out of the session, I got to hear about how I missed out on the opportunity to beat Alberta, if only I had been with Christian instead of the fucking therapists. Let's just say the day was putting me in a shitty mood.
"Rose." Lissa gave me the 'don't start anything' eyes, but was too drained from her spirit class with Adrian to even bother break up the inevitable fight.
Not giving my insult a second thought, Christian smirked sardonically, "Have fun in therapy? Has she asked you yet if you have had sexual thoughts about your mother?"
Anger started boiling up in my chest at a surprising speed. Him making fun of my therapy seemed as if he lost the trust he had in me. I thought he was the only one who would not make fun of me for seeing Mason.
"Christian!" Lissa narrowed her eyes, "Guys, stop. We've all had a hard day…"
I sensed Lissa had something else to say, and sighed.
"Just say it, Lissa."
"And also, Freud's Oedipus complex states that a child is attracted to the parent of the opposite sex, and wants to kill the parent of the same sex. So… Rose would want to kill her mother, not have sex with her."
"Ew." I shuddered even at the thought. "Smartass."
Lissa blushed, "What? You know it's important to be as accurate as possible."
"Smartass." Eddie grinned, taking a bite of his apple.
Christian and I dropped our conversation, partially due to the adorableness of Lissa not being able to stop herself from always correcting us, and because the conversation had turned towards parents, which was no mans land for either of us.
Before anything else was said, I sensed him. Dimitri was walking through the rows of students eating, eyes focused on our table.
"Well look who's making a special appearance." Adrian drawled, noticing what was diverting my attention.
I shot him a glare as I stated, "he probably wants to schedule another training session after cancelling ours this morning," before taking a last bite of my salad and walking towards him. Lissa would take care of my tray.
"What's up?" I asked, when we reached each other in the middle of the cafeteria.
"Rose, we need to talk."
His tone was sombre, and he didn't make eye contact, which was very unusual for blunt and honest Dimitri. He turned and started walking to the gardens, me following on his heels. After the therapy session, I ran into him in the hall, where he seemed preoccupied and distant. He didn't respond to the joke I cracked. He promised to explain later before leaving me in his dust; I guess now was later.
When we reached a secluded bench in the park, hidden behind a large rhododendron, Dimitri sat me down before starting to pace in front of me. He seemed to be going over what he was going to say in his head.
"Okay." I stood, feeling nervous at the sight of Dimitri pacing, but he turned and gently pushed me to sit down again. "Is this your idea of a romantic getaway? Because if so, you're not very good at romancing, buddy."
Dimitri finally stopped the nerve-wracking pacing to give me a dry look and to roll his eyes. Ah, there was the exasperated Dimitri I know. I wiggled my eyebrows, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.
It seemed to work, as Dimitri sat next to me with a sigh. It was the first sound I'd hear from him since his 'we need to talk' bomb.
"How's your arm?" He asked.
"Purple," I stated, rubbing my arm and wincing. The bruise was evidence of a particularly tough session yesterday. "A very pretty purple, as a matter of fact. But you seem to be avoiding whatever you have to tell me, so spill."
I was met with a silent front, a silence that was unbearable, as opposed to the usual calming silences I had with Dimitri.
"What's- What's going on? Who was that man? Why are you so quiet and nervous? You know I hate when I'm not in the loop-"
I was rambling before I realised I was rambling. I tried to controlling the flipping going on in my stomach.
Dimitri finally met my eyes, and the next words out of his mouth caused my stomach to drop, the sensation matching that of the second you fall on a drop tower.
"I- I'm leaving."
"What?"
"That man you saw earlier, he was Ivan's father and lately, the Zeklos numbers have been dwindling so he asked me to be his guardian as his last two have died and retired-"
"Hold up." I silenced him with a raised hand. "No. You're not- you can't be…"
The regret in his eyes, his unusually expressive eyes, told the whole story. He was leaving. Leaving Lissa. Leaving St. Vladimir. Leaving me.
"No…"
"Rose." He grabbed the arm I had raised, and his warm touch left my skin vulnerable as I ripped my hand from his and back away. "Rose, let me explain this, okay? I really don't want to leave."
I stopped shaking my head, as I had finally decided on an emotion to settle on. Pure wrath.
"Then don't. If you're going to leave, don't act as if you don't have a choice. At least man up to leaving me."
"I'm not leaving you. I'm just getting reassigned. This has nothing to do with our relationship. If I could stay…" He trailed of at the anger I was radiating, knowing if he talked anymore he would probably be punched.
"You're leaving. After all the shit you put me through at Christmas, with you thinking about leaving with Tasha, how can you say this fucking 'reassignment' isn't personal? Who is special enough for you to abandon me?"
"You're being dramatic-"
"Don't call me dramatic." I all but growl.
"I am not abandoning you, okay! This is tough for me too. Do you think I wanna leave? After everything I have established here? But I have a death on my hand, Rose, and before you understand how that guilt follows you everywhere, you have no right to judge my decision."
"Ivan didn't die while you were on duty, okay? That was not your fault. I understand the guilt, but is the guilt so overwhelming that you're going to throw your life away to make up some fucking 'debt' that doesn't even exist?"
Now it was his turn to shake his head, "I'm not throwing anything away. What life exactly do I have here? I watch classes being taught and I'm pining after the student I'm teaching…" He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture that conveys his aggravation. "Rose, I can't do this anymore. What we have isn't healthy, not now at least. But I'm not walking away. I'll stay in touch as much as possible, I'll- I'll send emails, texts, I don't know, maybe even letters. I'm not giving you up… I can't give you up."
Our whole interaction felt like a slap to my face. But I wouldn't let the man who was basically leaving me see me weak. I couldn't.
"Whatever," I crossed my arms, moving further away from him. "I get it. You've played your game with me and now your done, message understood."
"That is so wrong and you know it." He grabbed for my arms but I moved back, stepping into the rhododendrons. Fucking rhododendrons. "Rose, I need you…" He sounded like a wounded dog, but I was too busy licking my own wounds to lick his too.
"Go to hell." I grumbled before stalking off, only realising half way across campus that I was crying. Dimitri didn't follow.
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