EDITED: Hey, thanks for letting me know the formatting was weird on this chapter. I don't know what happened but I fixed it :)
I had no idea what time it was.
The last twenty four hours - has it been twenty four? It was dark again, so I would assume so - felt surreal, yet the injured guardians and teachers and students overfilling the medical wing of St. Vladimir's reminded me that the attack happened. Strigoi attacked the school, the only place where I had always felt naïvely safe.
I helped Eddie limp towards the only empty chair I could see, and sit him down. The smile he shot me showed that he was just as shocked to the core as me. I kneeled in front of him, applying some of the gauze that was in a cart to his open face wound and the blood stopped trickling down his chin as the gauze begun soaking it up. I looked around to see if there were any nurses or doctors available. Of course they weren't.
Behind us, the door opened and my mother and Alberta brought in the last of the captured that we had rescued from the cave.
Alberta gave me a look of gratitude, as my mother rushed to find someone to help the guardian that was bleeding profusely from the leg. If I had not been surrounded by dying patients, I might have been feeling pride right now, since I was the one that forced the guardian council to save all the captured from the strigoi, even though I was mainly going for Eddie. It took a battle, but once Mason told me exactly where they were located, I managed to convince my mother of my argument, and once you have legendary Janine Hathaway on your side, no guardian will say no to you.
I nodded back at Alberta, and then my mum stormed back in with Adrian in tow. Adrian, once he reached the hallway, seemed shocked at the mere mass of injured out here in the hallway as well. Through the bond I could see Lissa working diligently on inside the medical ward, which was just as overflowing as out here. God, this attack had been brutal.
A thought tickled my mind that I repressed. Now was not the time or place to think about it.
Adrian stepped towards me once his eyes had landed on me, and with each step towards me he sped up, which ended up with him jogging towards me until he could wrap his arms around me tightly. I ignored the negative feedback I was getting from my bruised body, and hugged him back just as hard. This was one of the rare moments where Adrian had no laughter in his eyes at all, and I felt oddly responsible to make the laughter appear there again.
"You're okay," he whispered into my shoulder, and I felt his need for comfort in that moment, as he kept clinging onto my body. I needed to pass some of my fleeting strength onto him. He had to get back to work and help healing people.
I ended the hug by placing my hands on his shoulder and pushing him away, looking him straight in the eyes. "Yes, of course I'm okay. Now, go and use some of those superpowers you have." I nodded my head towards the guardian bleeding all over the floor, who probably was not feeling very grateful about how long our reunion was taking us.
Once Adrian saw the wounded, he moved quickly, exposing my mother who was standing behind him, staring at me tensely. She still had the warrior look in her eyes, as if the battle was long from over. For me, however, the adrenaline was rushing out of my body, as if Adrian had taken it with him as he worked on the guardian full speed.
I was beyond exhausted. I tried to remember the last time I slept, but my mind couldn't think that far back.
Looking away from my mother, I faced Eddie again, and saw his eyes flutter shut.
"No," I leaned over to shake him, "You have to stay awake, Eddie. You most likely have a concussion, from the looks of that wound."
I grabbed another piece of gauze, and replaced it with the one that was soaked with blood now. I have had enough mild concussions to know sleeping was bad, and this looked like more than a mild concussion.
Eddie mumbled something incomprehensible, yet fought to keep his eyelids open.
"Good." I smiled, but smiling felt weird. It wasn't right to smile right now.
"Excuse me," A woman I didn't recognize, probably a teacher, asked. "Could I have some gauze too?" She had a pretty nasty arm wound.
Before I could grab more gauze, my mothers hand grabbed mine.
"No," she said in the most motherly voice I had ever heard her from her. "You will do no more work. You will go straight to bed and sleep."
"But-"
"She grabbed the gauze and passed it to the woman, as well as taking the gauze I was pressing to Eddie's head from me so she could do my job instead.
"I will take over from here and take care of your friend. I'm serious, Rose. You need to know your limits, and after all this craziness, you're definitely over your limits."
I felt torn between fighting my mother on this, as I did on every other matter, or just giving in for once. I felt ready to pass out in about any position right about now, but I was very protective over Eddie.
"What about Lissa, she-"
"I will tell Lissa that you were sent to bed by your mum. She'll understand." I heard Adrian over my shoulder. It was clear he was trying to joke, but his heart just wasn't into it.
I felt Lissa through the bond, and said, "No, don't interrupt her right now. She's in her zone." And it was true, she had never felt more useful than she was right now.
"Now go." My mother commanded.
"Go…" Even Eddie smiled at me as he forced out the words, and that is what broke me. I stood to leave after squeezing both the hands of Eddie and my mother.
Just before leaving the ward, I saw Alberta hugging a dhampir child, to focused to notice me leave.
I returned to my room after I took a scalding shower to try and wipe off all the dirt and blood and death and sorrow. As I stood in my room, two towels wrapped around my body and hair, I felt completely useless. All the killing was done now… so what did I do now?
I changed into a big sweater and shorts, then crashed onto my bed, my muscles painfully exhausted. I grabbed my phone, which I had forgotten before dinner yesterday, before all the shit happened. It was dead; I plugged it in before staring intently at the ceiling.
It was all over and deadly quiet. I strained my ears, but nothing. Even the birds knew to stay away.
It was then I started crying. Short and violent weeps escaped me, yet it felt more cleansing than the shower did, as I kept repeating "it was over" in my head. The unimaginable had happened: an army of strigoi crossed the wards, and it was over now.
I needed to pull myself together; I had lost no one I had been especially close to. But the loss was deeply felt across the whole campus. My phone beeped alive, so I wiped at my tears, wishing them out of existence. I picked up my phone, begging that the only person, after Lissa, who I wanted to talk to tonight was still awake.
The bright analog figures finally told me to time. It was 22:46.
And then my phone buzzed alive, alerting me to 11 missed calls, and 18 texts, all from Dimitri.
I quickly scanned through the texts. From my experience with Dimitri, he was a man of few texts, and fewer calls. Ever since my little darkness breakdown, Dimitri and I had kept in contact, which basically meant I called him up when I had time, and Dimitri sent me a text summing up his day, which normally lead to a text conversation with many emojis from my side.
But this was different.
The first text I received from him was a response to an old text, where we were discussing the weirdest things we've eaten. Ew, he's eaten cow tongue.
Then:
I just got an update that there is strigoi activity at St. Vladimir. What happened?
I was informed the school is locked down due to a strigoi attack. Please tell me you are in your room where you are supposed to be.
Please, don't do anything stupid, Rose. Not tonight.
I'm assuming that you have managed to convince the teacher to let you fight, so remember everything I taught you. Just a tiny slip can lead to something irreversible.
Please call me back. Please be okay. PLEASE.
heard a novice was fighting alongside a fire wielding student. I'm very proud of you Rose, but you will not hear the end of this from the teachers…
God I wish you would just text me back with all those stupid little smileys.
The attack's over. I know you'll be exhausted, but I need to know you're okay. I'll even start texting smileys.
It's been eighteen hours since I've last heard from you. I'm getting very little information. I wish I had never left you there alone.
I have to work in a thirty minutes, but I will keep my phone close. If you don't respond soon I'll hunt down Vasilisa's number.
YOU ARE GOING ON A RESCUE MISSION?
Vasilisa told me, please call me back, the mission is only supposed to start in an hour.
Please be careful, Rose. These missions are very dangerous. And definitely, do NOT be the last person to come out. Always have someone watch your back.
I'm very proud of you. You've come very far since coming back to the academy. I just really wish I had your bond with Lissa, so I would know what's going on right now.
The last few texts were along the same lines, and I hadn't even bothered to hear the voice mails before calling him. He was worried. Extremely worried. And although it caused some warm flutters in my stomach, I did not want to place him in this position. I would hate if the situation were reversed.
While the beeping signalled the call, I contemplated what he had said about still being at the academy. It was very selfish, and he probably would have saved many lives, but for the first time since Dimitri moved, I felt glad he did so. If he had been here, he would have been another person I needed to worry about, and I would have worried a lot. Dimitri lived to see another day, by staying out of harm.
"Hello? Roza? Are you-" Desperation threaded his words, and I was shocked at how emotional he sounded. I've never heard his emotions so clearly.
"I'm right here and I'm totally fine," I sniffled. Well, so much for that lie.
The sigh of relief I heard across the line sounded more like a sob, and there was some ruffling from his side.
"Oh God, Rose, I am so, so relieved…"
"Hey, did you doubt all the kickass moves you taught me?"
"No matter how prepared you are, facing a Strigoi is always tough. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for you. Did you get any injuries? Did any of your friends get hurt?"
I smiled, despite myself. I kind of enjoyed the worry; it almost felt like he was tucking me into bed.
"Nah, we're mostly fine. But… I don't think this school will recover anytime soon. The campus will always feel like a graveyard from here on out." I was surprised at the tears welling up again. God, get a grip.
"Oh Roza. It all takes time. But all that matters right now is taking care of your own." His words were pretty standard, but the feeling that he understood the root of troubles was more comforting and intimate than if someone had been sitting beside me.
I closed my eyes. They stung from being open too long.
"Yeah…"
A silence hung between us, until Dimitri broke it with a Russian swore.
"Rose, you don't understand how relieved I am… After I didn't hear from you in so long… My mind started thinking the worst. Do you know how many scenarios there are? Millions. I barely did my job correctly, so thank God that he didn't leave the apartment last night. I just… I wish I could make you feel the relief I feel over the pain you must be experiencing. I'm so sorry."
That had to be the most heartfelt thing I've ever heard. I couldn't keep my emotions in control, so I begun ranting.
"The eyes, that was the worst. Over and over, I would look into those red ringed eyes, and just think of who must have loved those eyes, like I love Lissa's eyes… or yours. And then, in those finally seconds after I staked them, I swore I saw a flicker in their eyes, of the life they had before becoming strigoi. Like their souls had returned for a spilt second. I feel so guilty. I get it Dimitri, all this guilt you constantly feel." I rambled on, getting incomprehensible towards the end, but Dimitri just listened, and I wished to God that he would come here so I could touch him right now. I needed his touch.
I sighed, "I just want to forget it. I want to vanish everything from my memory. Can I do that?"
"I'm afraid not. This will probably go down in history as a scar, a reminder of the worst situation. How could the wards even be so weak?"
He had asked it as a rhetorical question, but I needed to talk. "It was Jesse and those fucking friends of his."
"What?"
I launched into the story of the Mânā and their stupid torture-initiation ritual, and how they fucking dared to touch Lissa, and how I had beaten them up (which Dimitri sounded slightly proud over even though he denied it) and how I had taken the darkness from Lissa, and how Alberta had to take me on a walk in the forest to cool me off, although she had to restrain me from running off several times, and how she saw a pair of eyes in the dark and all of a sudden there were two strigoi, and how she made me run back to school to tell all the teachers buria, and all the fighting that occurred after and Christian and Eddie and the cave… and then how my mother sent me to bed.
He laughed at me. "Even after everything you've been through tonight, you still can't follow simple instructions."
"Hey, would you rather I sleep, or talk to you."
"I'm gonna be selfish, and say talk to me."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. So that was the last twenty four hours of hell. How's your day been going?" I asked sarcastically.
"Rose…" He sighed. "One more question. What's this… darkness?"
"Oh yeah, we finally figured out why I was so angry all the time."
"Your personality?"
"Ha ha. No. It's… the side effect of spirit, so to say. It's what drove Lissa to her depressive episode. And now I'm absorbing it, and it turns me into a rage machine."
"Wow. Okay." I could hear him think.
I groaned, "I'd love to discuss all this further, but right now I want you to tell me something that's not dark and depressing and horrible. So spirit and strigoi are off the table."
"Hmm. What about birthday's coming up? I heard there was a pretty important one coming up."
I cracked a smile, "Oh yeah? Well, you better buy yourself a party hat, because I'm sure you're the only one who will be celebrating. Not with all this going on here."
"You should celebrate simply making it to that birthday, Rose. You've survived so much. Oh, and also, I sent your present out yesterday, so it might come early. Do not open it before."
"Aww, you got me a present? If you got me a book, I'll send it right back to you."
His laugh was heady to me, especially when I am so sleep deprived.
"No, it's not book. It's nothing big really, but I think you would enjoy it."
I had a habit of falling asleep on him while we were talking on the phone, leading to him joking about how boring he must sound, but honestly it was the most soothing thing to fall asleep to. I tried very hard to stay awake, but I just…
"You know, I haven't heard your voicemails yet. Anything important?"
"Oh. You should probably, um, delete those."
stay…
"No, I won't."
awake.