As days turned into weeks, Ianto found it easier to sleep in his own flat, but not by much of a margin. When his sleep didn't feature dreams of Jack, it was usually interrupted by a Rift alert. While Ianto's sleep was less frequently interrupted in his own bed, it often just made more sense to stay in the Hub, between exhaustion and the possibility of having to run back out at a moment's notice. Ianto was beginning to come to understand that the second law of Torchwood was that every option required weighing up pros and cons… and they usually came out weighing exactly the same.
The provisional Torchwood team quickly developed a smooth working relationship, borne of necessity. After things had gone well bringing Ianto in, Rhys and Andy decided to ask him what he'd think about bringing Toshiko in as well. Rhys decided not to mention that it had been Jack's idea shortly before he left. Jack had done enough of his own damage on that account.
Ianto thought she'd make a great addition, especially since his own understanding of civilian computing and mechanics was only so much help for Torchwood's tech. Ianto's main concern was that it had to be something Tosh wanted to do – and if she declined, the Retcon had to be optional. Andy had some reservations about that caveat but in the end Rhys convinced him that if knowledge of their existence was safe with anyone, it would be Gwen's workmate.
As it was, the Retcon question was moot. After listening to Rhys and Ianto talk about what Torchwood did and the kind of help they needed, Tosh was quiet for a moment, then looked up at Ianto. "Did I ever tell you about my grandfather, what he did during the war?" she said.
"Don't think so. You've just said that he was involved in early computer programming," Ianto said.
"He worked at Bletchley Park, decoding ciphers. Yes, I'll join you," she nodded decisively.
Ianto made it a point to give Tosh a gentler introduction to Janet than the one he'd had himself. Tosh generally seemed fascinated by the Weevil, her innate curiosity overriding fear of the animalistic alien – since it was in a secure cell, anyway. It was a little more off-putting that there was a pteranodon flying freely about the workspace, but it was reassuring that Myfawny was well housebroken and never caused any damage to the equipment.
Tosh had been with the team for a couple of weeks and had already made significant improvements to the Rift predictor program that had been more a hindrance than help for years. Ianto wanted to ask if there was anything she could do to help find a signal from Jack, but he knew that Jack couldn't be their first priority, not with all of South Wales to look out for.
Of course, the question of whether Jack would even want to be found was also a factor. Ianto often though he was probably just fooling himself, but he couldn't find it in him to give up the belief that Jack would come back. He just wondered if it would be in his lifetime or if Jack really intended to be gone so long. At least being so busy meant there was less time to dwell on Jack's absence and those dreams he was still having, and once again working with his best friend made it all easier to bear.
One morning, Ianto woke up feeling unusually tired, as though he hadn't slept at all, even though he'd actually got a full night's sleep for a change. There were fragments of strange dreams, different from the ones about seeing Jack in torment, floating around in his memory and he figured that was why he didn't feel rested. He showered and dressed and fixed himself a bowl of porridge and quick cup of coffee as usual, trying to put the disturbing dreams out of his mind. Only, later in the morning when he took everyone's first round of coffee to them, Tosh, Andy, and Rhys all remarked how tired they were as well, and that they'd had bizarre dreams all night.
Ianto's first thought was to scan any recently recovered items for signs of activity that might have affected the whole team and to check for any unusual Rift activity in the last 24 hours. There was nothing concrete he could find, but the feeling that he was missing something big wouldn't let him alone. Furthermore, he could have sworn he had been a lot further ahead in the straightening the archives but couldn't say why he thought that – everything was just as he'd left it the night before. And for some reason, he thought he'd started a new diary weeks ago, but there were still plenty of unused pages left, with the last entry being just the day before.
All starting to get to him, Ianto thought, deciding to let it go and focus on the work ahead of him. He'd been hoping for an early evening and to get some proper sleep that night, but Tosh's Rift program indicated a mobile humanoid arrival that appeared to be wasting no time tearing through Cardiff. The team got after it as quickly as possible and found the reason for its mobility was that it had stolen a sports car moments after arriving on Earth.
Ianto wasn't surprised when he found out it was a Blowfish behind the wheel and had to remind himself to be a professional and not suggest getting out the Big Gun and blasting the thing to bits. He still hadn't forgotten what it was like seeing Jack shot dead in the street at the hands of a fish-alien.
By the time they managed to catch up to the Blowfish, it had stormed into someone's home and taken a family hostage. When Tosh's readings indicated that the Blowfish was off its face on cocaine, the situation looked even more delicate. Ianto knew he couldn't let his immediate instinct to shot the thing override his duty to protect the poor girl the fish was holding its gun on. Years of experience with dysfunctional relationships also enabled him to read the Blowfish well enough to see that it thought Ianto's hesitation was from uncertainty or lack of confidence, and knowing better meant Ianto knew that worked in his favour. He was just about ready to calmly release his trigger, certain he had the right shot, when all in one moment a blast rang out behind him, something hot barely missed his cheek, and the Blowfish developed a very bad case of blown-out brains.
It was over… finally. Jack looked around him at the city centre and bayside that had never looked so beautiful. He was home. And it really was his home, he was starting to realise. Not simply because he'd spent more time in Cardiff than anywhere else he'd been in his life, but because this was where he'd grown the most as a person, learning who he was, defining himself.
Not that he was done with that by a long shot, especially since the Doctor told him that he really couldn't 'fix' him. Jack bit down hard on that thought, though. He wasn't ready to unpack that much excruciating disappointment – waiting more than a century, ending up captive to a madman's limitless sadism for a year, and only to learn that the one thing he wanted was still impossible… like his very existence, apparently.
He couldn't deal with that, not yet. He needed to get back to his team. He hadn't meant to leave them down a man for so long and he hoped Andy and Rhys were holding up. Jack was halfway down the Plas when he caught the aroma from a coffee shop and stopped in his tracks.
Jack sat down on a nearby bench. There wasn't really a chance that Ianto would ever forgive him, not this time. But now, after everything he'd been through, even though it had all been reversed and none of it had 'really' happened at all… he had to see him. Just to know Ianto was ok would be enough. Where would he be now, Jack wondered. It was getting late in the afternoon, so he might still be at work. Jack decided to check there first.
Only, by the time Jack got to the museum where Ianto worked, quitting time had come and gone. Jack sighed and wished he'd taken a taxi – except that he didn't exactly have any money with him – and decided to try Ianto's flat, which at least wasn't a far walk. Jack thought about running through all the things he could possibly say to get Ianto to not slam the door in his face, but figured there was really nothing to be said except "I'm sorry". If that couldn't at least earn him a chance to explain, then he had no choice but to accept it and walk away. After all, he reminded himself, the main thing was that Ianto was alright, alive and well, regardless of how he felt about Jack.
When Ianto wasn't at home either, Jack began to feel weary and sat down on a low garden wall. Ianto could be anywhere, but Jack couldn't let it go. He had to see him, just for a moment. It had got dark by then and the thought of wandering around, looking into pubs and shops, hoping for just a glimpse of the man he loved sounded so pathetic. Doing things the hard way didn't make it any better, Jack thought, opening his wrist strap and telling it to locate Ianto's mobile.
When his VM output indicated that Ianto's mobile was in proximity to Andy and Rhys's trackers, and the SUV, Jack started wondering what, exactly, had gone on in his absence.