Chapter 32

Addy sat on Bobby's couch in his study, going through a book trying her best to stay awake. She was exhausted but her nerves were too grated to get sleep. Sam and Cas were off getting Dean and she was drained after using a spell to find him.

"You should get some sleep," Bobby suggested from behind his desk.

"After Dean gets here," she said tiredly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't we go through the same thing eight months ago with Sam?"

She didn't answer.

"Hell of a pattern these boys got going on. Falling off the bandwagon then breaking your heart."

"Bobby save it," she replied.

"No one would blame you if you ran out that door right now," he said as she looked to him, "I wouldn't stop you. Hell, I'll give you the keys to my car."

Without hesitation she said, "Not ever and not without Dean."

Suddenly, Cas appeared with Sam and Dean. She met Dean's eyes.

"Do your worst," he said to her and then she stood up, marched in front of him and stared into his eyes with her own fiery ones. He braced for the worst but she just threw her arms around his neck and held onto him.

"You're an idiot," she whispered into his neck, screwing her eyes shut to keep from crying. She hadn't done it yet and she wasn't about to start now.

She pulled away and he said, "I thought you would've crucified me."

"Do that again and I will," she said through clenched teeth and then pressed a light kiss to his lips, "We're working on something."

"Eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches but tonight, tonight's when the magic happens," he said hopelessly and she cupped his face in her hands.

"We'll figure this out okay," she said as Bobby, Sam, and Cas watched the exchange, "Just hold on a little longer."

"If you think this is gonna work than you're wrong," he said and she dropped her hands in hurt as she went back over to the couch and sat down.

"You ain't helpin'," Bobby said.

"Yeah, well, why don't you let me get out of your hair, then?" Dean replied.

"What the hell happened to you?" Bobby asked, shaking his head.

"Reality happened," he said coldly," Nuclear's the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, save a boatload of people. "

"But not all of them," Bobby countered, "We gotta think of something else."

"Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say. But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I coulda done something about it, guess what? That's on me."

"You can't give up, son," he pleaded.

"You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes."

"Dean," Addy said in a warning tone and looked to Bobby whose expression hardened as he pulled a gun from a drawer in his desk and set it down on the counter. He pulled a bullet from his pocket and inspected it.

"What is that?" Dean asked slowly.

"That's the round that I mean to put through my skull," he answered and set the bullet on the desk right near the gun, "Every morning, I look at it. I think, maybe today's the day I flip the lights out. But I don't do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!"

Addy stared at Bobby with wide eyes and then to Dean and then to Sam and Cas. It was then she realized they all had the same hopeless look in their eyes and if she could look in a mirror she was sure she'd see it there too.

Suddenly, Cas gasped and hunched over in pain.

"Cas what's wrong?" Addy asked, standing up and going over to him.

"Something's happening," he answered, still hunched in pain.

"What?" she asked, exchanging a worried look with Dean, "What's going on?"

He disappeared without answering.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy watched from the kitchen threshold as Dean got a beer from the fridge. When he turned to her, she kept his gaze with her blank one.

"I know I have a nice ass princess but you don't have to watch it 24/7," he said with a smirk.

She shook her head and pushed past him to the fridge, grabbing a beer as well. She downed half of it.

"Take it easy there," he said and she shot him a vicious look, "Of course you probably deserve it."

"Damn right I deserve it."

"Look, Addy I'm-"

"Sorry," she whispered, "I was stupid enough to think you'd be the one who would never be sorry."

She moved past him into the study where Cas appeared carrying a dirt covered body.

"Help," he said and she went over to him so they could carry them to the couch.

"Guys get in here!" Addy yelled as Sam and Dean came barreling in, Bobby rolling behind them.

"Who is this?" she asked Cas.

"Our brother," Sam answered.

"Wait a minute. Your brother? Adam?" Bobby asked in confusion.

"Wait the one who was killed by ghouls?" Addy asked.

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean added.

"Angels," he answered.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"I know one thing for sure. We need to hide him now," Cas said and put his hand to Adam's chest.

He gasped and woke up from the pain, looking around frantically as he sat up.

"Hey you're safe," Addy said, comforting him, "It's all good. You're safe. You can relax."

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, looking around.

She looked to Dean to explain, "You're going to find this a little...a lot crazy, but we're actually your brothers."

"It's the truth. John Winchester was our father, too. See, I'm Sam-"

"Yeah, and I'm sure that's Dean. I know who you are," he said, finishing the sentence for him.

"How?" Addy asked.

"They warned me about you," he said, glancing at her.

"Who did?"" she asked carefully.

"The angels," he answered, "Now where the hell is Zachariah?"

SUPERNATURAL

"So why don't you just tell us everything? Start from the beginning," Addy said gently, sitting next to Adam after he had cleaned all the dirt from himself.

"Well, I was dead and in Heaven. Except it kind of looked like my prom and I was making out with this girl, her name was Kristin McGee…" he said, getting off track.

"Yeah, that sounds like heaven," Dean said with a scoff, "Did you get to third base?"

She shot him a disapproving look, "Ignore him. Keep going."

"Well, these angels, they popped out of nowhere, and they tell me that I'm chosen," he continued.

"For what?" Sam asked.

"To save the world."

"How?" Addy asked with wide eyes.

"Oh, me and some archangel are going to kill the devil. I'm his uh, sword or vessel or something, I don't know. "

"Michael," Addy stated without question, standing up and going over to Cas, "How is that even possible? I thought Dean was Michael's true vessel."

"He is John Winchester's bloodline, Sam's brother. It's not perfect, but it's possible," he said and she looked to Dean.

"Well you gotta be kidding me," he said.

"Why would they do this?" Sam asked.

"Maybe they're desperate, " he said and shot Dean a cold look, "Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them."

"Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas," Dean said angrily.

"Stop it," Addy ordered, pointing a warning finger at him and turned to Cas, "Both of you. Leave that shit until after we figure this out. Now why would the angels do this?"

"After everything that's happened? All that crap about destiny? Suddenly the angels have a Plan B? Does that smell right to anybody?" Sam questioned.

"You know this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing, so…"Adam started to get up, but Addy stopped him.

"Wait just hear us out a little longer," she pleaded, sitting back down with him, " Adam ,you can't trust the angels. Speaking from personal experience most angels do not give a flying fuck about anyone but themselves. They are lying to you."

"Yeah, I don't think so."

"Really. Why not?" Sam challenged.

"Um, 'cause they're angels," he said with a shrug.

"They tell you they were gonna roast half the planet?" Sam asked next.

"They said the fight might get pretty hairy, but it is the devil, right? So we got to stop him."

"We're working on another way," Addy said quickly.

"Great. What is it?" he asked and she looked to Sam for help.

"We're working on the power of love," Dean said sarcastically and she shot him an angry glare, "C'mon princess tell him how we're going to save the planet."

She took a short breath and ignored him, "Adam, we're working our asses off to find something."

"How's that going?" he asked.

"Mmm. Not good," Dean said before she could answer.

"Dean, can we talk outside for a second?" she asked, finally losing her patience with him.

She got up and walked to the front door and he followed after her. Opening it, she stepped outside and closed it when he was outside with her.

She put her hands on her hair, tugging at it, "Stop okay. Just stop with the crap."

"You mean the truth," he countered.

She released her hair and let out a loud groan mixed with a growl, "What is wrong with you? You were the one who told me not to give up. You were the one who brought me back from the edge. You made me believe we could do this and I still do. How can you be like this? How can you want to say yes to Michael?"

"Because we got nothing, Addy," he yelled, "Lucifer is winning and when he wins he'll be coming for not only Sam but you too so don't tell me I'm not doing the right thing."

"You're giving up!" she yelled back, "Tell me how that's the right thing!"

"I'm not giving up! I'm saving you. Tell me how you plan to stop him Addy because I have no fucking clue and I can't let him get to you! Michael can stop Lucifer from getting you. I will not let him take you and saying yes to Michael is the only way I can make that happen."

She scoffed, "For the love of…"

"What?" he asked with a sigh and she grabbed his face and kissed him so forcefully, his back hit the side of the house. His hands settled on her waist as she took complete control over their kiss.

When she pulled away she whispered, "I love that you want to protect me but get this through your thick skull. I save myself. I don't need you to protect me. I like it, but I don't need it. I can protect myself, save myself, and save you if I have to. You should know that by now."

"I know," he whispered back.

"So stop being stupid. Saying yes to Michael is not the answer. Please don't do it," she pleaded with shaking hands.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, moving her hands from his face and beginning to walk back inside.

"You know what you won't do it," she called after him with his back to her.

He turned back to her, "Addy, look, the first chance I get I-"

"You won't," she said, stepping up to him, "Push comes to shove and you won't do it. I know you won't."

"You don't think I'll do it?" he asked with a raised brow.

"No," she said, crossing her arms, "And I don't give a crap what you say. It's all talk, Dean. Now get back inside."

SUPERNATURAL

Addy wandered into the kitchen to see Adam picking at a half eaten sandwich and glancing at the door.

"You can run but speaking from experience they'll find you," she said, taking a seat at the table with him as he snapped his head to her.

"So you're on lockdown too?" he asked, giving her a once over.

"I'm one of the few people who isn't on lockdown around here," she mumbled under her breath, "You should eat. Keep your strength up. Coming back from the dead takes a lot out of you."

"Speaking from experience again?" he asked with a raise of his brow.

"Yes actually," she said and stared at him in silence.

"What?" he asked.

"You look a little like Dean," she confessed.

"Is this your way of trying to brother bond me with Sam and Dean because Sam already came in here and tried that so-"

"No, that was an observation," she said with an eye roll, "If I wanted to brother bond you I'd tell you you're a smart ass like your brothers."

He looked at her in surprise, "So who are you again?"

"Addy. Family friend."

"No offense but you and Dean look a little more than friends."

She sighed and didn't answer.

"You single then?"

She looked up with a smirk, "Don't."

"Don't what?" he asked, leaning forward with a charming smile on his face, "It was just a question."

"Are you hitting on me?" she asked with a scoff.

"And if I am?"

"I'd say not gonna happen kid," she stated with a chuckle.

"You know I'm not a kid."

"I know," she said with a solemn nod, "Once you get sucked into stuff like this you're never a kid."

"Look, these guys don't mean jack to me. All I want is my Mom back."

"I understand, Adam but Zachariah, the angels, they are not who you think they are. I could give you a list of things Zachariah alone has done to me but I won't because talking about it makes me sick. He's a horrible man and as soon as he gets what he wants from you, you'll mean nothing to him. I'm sorry but that's how they operate. There's a slim chance he'll actually give you your Mom back."

"But if there's a chance than I have to take it, right?"

She shook her head, "Trust me. You do not want to end up in Zachariah's clutches so I'm asking you as one person to another. Don't give in to him. Don't say yes to Michael."

"If I say yes to Michael, doesn't that mean Dean doesn't have to."

"It does mean that, but it doesn't make it right," she replied, "Your life doesn't mean anything less to me than Dean's."

"But you hardly know me."

"You feel alone right now, don't you?" she asked and he gave a slight nod in shame, "Well, you don't have to be. You've lost a lot and you don't know Sam and Dean and you resent them . I get it, but you don't have to shut everyone out."

"So I should let you in?" he asked.

She shrugged, "That's up to you, but trust me when I say being alone in something like this will only get you hurt and believe it or not I don't want to see you hurt."

"Why do you care?"

"Because a while ago I was you. I lost everything and after I met Sam and Dean, I got all of it back. As far as family goes they might not be perfect, but they care about family. They'd do anything for family. Blood or not."

"You plan that speech out beforehand?" he asked sarcastically.

She smiled, "You may not know Sam and Dean but with a mouth like that on you…you're a Winchester."

SUPERNATURAL

Addy descended the stairs into the panic room and leaned in the doorway to see Sam, Dean, and Cas who was staring at Dean with a hard look.

"Hey, I talked to Adam," she said quietly to Sam, "He should be around for a little longer, but I don't know if it'll be permanent."

"Thanks," he replied just as Dean looked to Cas with a smirk.

"Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that," he began and looked to Addy with a wink, "I got laid."

She rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Cas, can you keep an eye on Adam?"

He disappeared.

"Is this really necessary?" Dean asked with a cursory look around the panic room.

"Well, I mean, we got our hands full, Dean. A house full of flight risks."

"I'm not letting him do it," Dean said with finality.

"We're not letting Adam do anything," Addy said.

"No, you're not getting me."

"We get you perfectly," Sam replied, "We're not letting you do it either."

"That kid's not taking a bullet for me."

"Dean-" Sam began.

"I'm serious. I mean, think about how many people we've gotten killed, Sam. Mom, Dad, Jess, Jo, Ellen, Pam, Ash. Should I keep going?"

Addy swallowed and took a deep shaky breath as she was filled with sorrow.

"It's not like we pulled the trigger," Sam argued.

"We might as well have. I'm tired, man. I'm tired of fighting who I'm supposed to be."

"That's a load of bull if I've ever heard it," she said angrily, "So we're all just supposed be who were told to. You as Michael. Me as Lucifer's bitch."

"That's not what I meant," he said, shaking his head.

"Isn't it?"

"Addy's right," Sam said, "Take a half a second and stop trying to sacrifice yourself for a change? Maybe we could actually stick together?"

"I don't think so," he said and she lowered her head in defeat.

"Why not? Dean, seriously. Tell me. I want to know. "

"I just… I don't believe," he said tiredly.

"In what?" Sam asked.

"In you," he answered and Addy shook her head at him, "I mean, I don't. I don't know whether it's gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they're gonna find a way to turn you."

She stood with her mouth agape as she looked from Dean to Sam.

"So you're saying I'm not strong enough," he replied in a broken voice.

"You're angry, you're self-righteous. Lucifer's gonna wear you to the prom, man. It's just a matter of time."

She stared at him, not even sure if this was the same man she'd fell in love with.

"Don't say that to me. Not you...of all people," Sam pleaded.

"I don't want to. But it's the truth. And when Satan takes you over, there's got to be somebody there to fight him, and it ain't gonna be that kid. So, it's got to be me."

Sam nodded and looked to the door, "I'll go check on Adam."

He left him and Addy alone and she stared at him with disappointment in her eyes.

"How could you say that to him after all he's done to make up for what he did?" she asked in a whisper, "You're his brother."

"That didn't mean jack when he chose Ruby over me and you. Did you forget that?"

"No," she said sadly, "I didn't forget but I forgave him and it was keeping him going. It was keeping him strong. You were keeping him strong enough to say no to Lucifer and I can't fathom how you though it was okay to say you didn't believe him."

"Because it's the truth."

"That wasn't the truth," she said with a scoff, "That was a low blow and you know it. It was mean and-"

"Well guess what Addy I'm a mean person," he said, stepping up to her and caging her against the wall with his arms menacingly, "I'm mean to people. I let people down.

"Okay I get it," she said, looking away and he gently took her chin in his hand and made her look him in the eye.

"I'm not Sam. I hurt people. I abandon people and most of the time I can't even bring myself to give a damn," he continued.

"If this is your attempt to piss me off it's not working," she said, yanking out of his grip as she began moving away but he grabbed her by the hips and pushed her back against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt but hard enough that she knew he wasn't messing around.

"I am not a good person, Addy," he said with a cold look in his eyes and she was almost afraid…almost, "Especially when it comes to women."

"I'm not an idiot, Dean. I know you've got quite a collection of notches on your bed post," she said with spite than she intended.

"What?" he asked mockingly," You don't like hearing the truth. Do you know how many girls there were before you?"

"Let me go, Dean," she ordered, staring him in the eye as she clenched her jaw.

"A lot and I fucked each and every one of them and then left without looking back and I think I can easily say that one day I would've fucked you the night before and you'd wake up and I'd be long gone so trust me…saying yes to Michael is me doing you a favor."

Hot tears burned her eyes as she blinked furiously, refusing to break eye contact with him, "If you're going to be an asshole why don't we be truthful about it, huh? If anyone was to walk out of this it'd be me. You'd wake up and I'd be gone. It won't ever happen but it's more likely that it'd be me. Let's face it, Dean. if you're going to play that card you're going to have to try a lot harder than that pathetic attempt. Wanna know why?"

"Why?" he asked, unable to stop himself.

She leaned in close and put her lips to his ear as she whispered," Because the fact that you left all those girls but you couldn't leave me if you wanted to turns me on."

She lightly kissed down his neck and a low growl sounded at the back of his throat, "Is this your way of distracting me?"

"I know you're a piece of work, Dean but for once in your life you're dealing with someone who needs a hell of a lot more work than you do," she said as trailed her hands beneath his shirt, "And there is a very short list of things you can do to make me hate you. So go ahead. Tell me all your sins but I'm not going anywhere because I guarantee you I've done them all twice as much and enjoyed it."

She pulled away and stared into eyes," So stop talking and let's add a few more to that list."

"I didn't think I could love anyone like I love you," he confessed almost unwillingly.

"Trust me. It's mutual," she replied as he then collided his lips with hers. Hot, desperate kisses were exchanged along with rough touches and a chaotic disregard of clothes that were only essential before they collapsed on the small cot as they remembered just how good they were together in every sense of the word.

SUPERNATURAL

"We're very good at angry sex," Dean said as she straddled him and laid her head on his chest, looking up at him, "Like, really good."

They lay half naked and tangled in each other on the as she caught her breath, "We most certainly are."

Dean's stomach growled loudly and she chuckled, "Hungry?"

"Understandably," he answered, "I just gave a performance of a lifetime there."

She sat up and gave him a mischievous smile, "Who was on top again?"

"You were," he replied, sitting up to press his lips to hers, "And I enjoyed every single second of it."

"Good," she replied and swung her legs over the side, picking up her jeans, "I'll bring down some food."

She tossed him his shirt and she tugged on her pants after rebuttoning her shirt.

"I'll be right back. Okay?" she said with a deeper meaning that both of them knew.

"Okay," he replied and gave her one last lingering kiss before she retreated out the door. With reluctance, she shut the panic room door and went upstairs into the kitchen to see Adam asleep in the study.

"You were down there for a while," Sam said, walking into the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah," she said, going into the fridge so he couldn't see her embarrassment.

"Did you get through to him?" he asked.

She turned to him with a small smile, "I think I did, but…Sam he didn't mean what he said about you. I know he didn't."

"I know, Addy," he said half heartedly.

"Who is watching Dean?" Cas asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"No one but-" before she could finish Cas was heading back down into the panic room, "You don't listen to me anyways so why am I talking."

Sam chuckled as she went back over to the fridge, "So you and Dean talked?"

"Mhm," she said, clearing her throat.

"For an hour?"

"Yup," she replied and then added nonchalantly, "We have zero food. You should do a burger run."

"Yeah I'll bet you're hungry," he said sarcastically and she turned and gave him the finger. He chuckled and then his face sobered, "You're happy."

"You know me, Sasquatch," she said with a smirk, "Ever the optimist."

"No, I mean. Dean," he said carefully and she glanced down at the floor, "He makes you really happy."

They hadn't talked about it. There was just a silent understanding that Sam was okay with it. Hell, when Dean had opened his big mouth to him he'd been thrilled, but there was still the fact that they'd been together.

"He does," she said with a small smile, then added, " Look, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you're okay with me and Dean. I know it's weird, but-"

"That's just the thing, Addy," he said, stopping her, "It's not weird. I'm not jealous or angry or betrayed. I'm just happy for you guys. To be honest, there was always a part of me that felt like I was in the way of…something."

"You did?" she asked in confusion.

He shrugged," It was just the way you two were with each other. It came so naturally even when you were just friends. I know you never saw it and for a while I didn't but when I figured out how he felt it was obvious."

"To everyone except me," she said with a pained chuckle.

"It's not your fault," he assured her, "You were trying to make it work with me which was a waste because it was keeping you from your soul mate."

"I don't see us as a waste, Sam," she said, walking towards him, "It was the best thing that had happened to me in years. You were the best thing that'd happened to me in years. I don't regret one second of us."

"Not even the end?" he asked with sad eyes, "When I smashed what we had to pieces."

She sighed deeply, "It might've been in pieces but what we put back together is perfect. You're my family, Sam and right now we need family. We need each other."

He pulled her into his arms for a hug that engulfed her completely, "I still love you, Addy. Not in the same way, but I'll always love you."

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back, "I love you too, Sasquatch."

His stomach growled obnoxiously and she laughed as they broke apart, "I think we can get that burger now."

"Agreed. I'll go tell Cas we're leaving," she said and went back down the stairs to see Cas nowhere in sight and the door to the panic room slightly open, "Oh no."

She ran inside to see Dean nowhere in sight and an angel sigil on the door, "No, no, no, Oh God no. Sam!"

He came barreling down the steps and was inside with her in a matter of seconds, "What the hell happened?"

"He used an angel sigil," she said as she collapsed on the cot, her head in her hands.

"Addy are you-"

"Go find him. I'll be up in a minute," she said and reluctantly he ran back up the steps leaving her all alone.

He promised not to do that.