Jack sat there for a moment or two thinking how right Ianto was. It surely wasn't any fair, being in a relationship with someone like himself, someone who's capacity to love was unbounded, but who had serious, decades-long issues about trust and protection that made fully sharing that love nearly impossible. Of course Ianto would do better with someone who didn't have Jack's baggage, which would be just about anybody else on earth.

But if that's how it was, then Jack knew he at least had to have the decency to say it properly to Ianto's face. Jack stood up from the café table and followed Ianto out to the barrage where he was walking toward the Cardiff side of the bay.

For the third time since returning from a year of torture, Jack was met with the sight of Ianto Jones walking away from him. And all at once, it seemed like the worse idea he could have had yet, letting go of someone who was willing to care for him and not only put up with but literally support Torchwood's work. And if Jack thought Ianto would probably be better off with anyone else in the world, Jack knew at that moment that he could never find anyone better for him than Ianto Jones.

"Ianto!" Jack shouted, hurrying toward him along the walkway.

Ianto half turned, not sure he had the wherewithal to do more that night. Couldn't Jack just spend one evening figuring out for himself whether he wanted to work on them or not?

"Ianto, I'm sorry. You're right, about everything – I do have a hard time trusting and I am overprotective and sometimes I forget that things aren't always just about me and…. I have issues, I know, and maybe the one thing I need most is someone who isn't afraid to call me out when I'm wallowing in self-pity, or thinking I always know best. Because I don't. But there's something I've got to tell you," Jack said, grasping Ianto's shoulders. "For the last year… you… the thought of you… was the only thing that kept me able to hold on."

Ianto shook his head slightly. "It hasn't even been a year. We only met in -"

"Yeah, I know. But, there's more to it," Jack said. "You know you said you've been tired all day? Feeling like you hadn't slept, had strange dreams? There was an entire year that was wound back, that was undone, 'un-happened', because the things that occurred in that year were… I don't really want to go into it right now, but it was unimaginably bad. I told you I wasn't very far, really, and I wasn't. I was on board a UNIT ship that had been commandeered by a lunatic, a monster. I don't know how many times he killed me for fun, but every time… I died thinking of you and I came back thinking of you, knowing I had to keep it together long enough to get out of there and make it back, make sure you were alright.

"Ianto… I know I'm protective when it comes to you, but it's because I know how fragile and short life is and…." Jack took a long breath. "And I know, beyond any hope now, that I'm going to lose you one day. So, really, it isn't all just a matter of trust. I do trust you. But sometimes…. Sometimes I'm so scared. I know what the pain is like, losing someone I love, because it's been the only constant thing in my life since I was a boy and lost my dad and little brother on the same day. And I know it's only going to be exponentially worse when it's you I'm losing. Deep down, I'm afraid of it. It's just about my worst fear, if you want to know. Worse than spiders."

Ianto looked up at Jack with eyes full of tears. Taking two steps forward, he wrapped Jack in the hug he'd desperately wanted for the last months. "I don't blame you being afraid," Ianto whispered, holding onto Jack. "And I guess I can't promise to never break your heart. But I will never, ever hurt you on purpose, Jack. I was having dreams, from a few days after you left, that you were being hurt, screaming in torture. I just thought it was my subconscious having a go at me because of that row. I never really thought it was happening to you, even if it did worry me. If I'd known, I'd have marshaled all of Torchwood's resources…."

Jack shook his head against Ianto's shoulder. "You wouldn't have been able to fight him," he mumbled, staunchly refusing to remember what the Master had done to Ianto, because it was no use dwelling on what was reversed anyway.

"But I would have -"

"No," Jack said firmly, pulling back a bit. "Look… if you can't promise me that you'll never break my heart, then make me another promise instead – promise me that if there's ever a situation where coming to my rescue could put you in danger, you will let me die or be taken or whatever. I will come back from death, I will get back to you, I will be alright – but don't you ever try to save me if it could get you hurt, understand? I don't have any choice about outliving you, but you have got to understand that the choice to spare me at your own expense will never be worth it, not to me."

Ianto didn't answer for a long while. "I hate the thought that I might ever have to let you suffer," he said quietly. "I understand what you're saying, though. And I will give you that promise on one condition."

"And that is?"

"I need you to be open with me, Jack. I… I'm not asking you to tell me everything – everyone has secrets that no one else knows and there's nothing wrong with that. But if it's something that affects me, or us, I need you to communicate with me. I won't break your confidences and I won't have a go or put you down about whatever you're feeling, but we've got to be able to talk, Jack. Even if it isn't eloquent or the setting is all wrong. Like standing in the middle of the Cardiff Bay barrage patching up months of separation."

Jack pulled Ianto back into the hug. "I really never have known anyone like you," Jack whispered. "I promise, I'll talk more. You don't deserve to feel closed out, ever. You're an incredible man. And I will do my best to not get killed very often. I might be used to it, but if it hurts you, I'll avoid it."

"Thank you," Ianto said, reaching up to touch Jack's cheek. "I'm really glad you're back," he murmured, leaning up for a kiss that turned desperately hungry within moments and might have led to an incident of public indecency, right there against the rail of the barrage, if Jack's wrist-strap hadn't beeped to life before John Hart's voice asked them to slow it down because the refresh rate of the CCTV cameras on the barrage was causing him to miss too much action.

Ianto groaned and hastily rebuttoned his shirt. "You're too right I'm staying with you," he grumbled. "Torchwood can't handle two ex-lovers!"