Abis Mal wandered about the Cave of Wonders. Everywhere he looked, he saw containers overflowing with gold and jewels. Great urns and chests were packed with them and he kicked coins and jewels aside with every step that he took. He sighed. It was just too much. There were too many pretties. It had become boring and predictable after nearly two months and then as the time stretched on for months more it'd become disgusting.
At first he'd run everywhere when he'd been given permission to touch and had stuffed his pockets full to bursting, and now? He no longer cared. He had a bathroom but everything in it was gold or silver. The kitchen where he prepared his meals was the same and the bed was gold too. That made it the coldest and hardest bed he'd ever slept in. And the food? It at least was not gold or silver but his host had no imagination. There was only so much food fit for a king he could stand. Right now he would've killed for a simple sandwich prepared by one of the street vendors in Agrabah.
Abis Mal knew this experience had changed him. If he ever got out of here the pursuit of wealth just for the sake of having it would seem so sour and unappealing. His surly band of desert skunks didn't know how good they had it. Riding free over the desert and sleeping in soft piles of rags. By Allah, he missed them and their disputes. It was then that he realized what else he was missing in his life.
"Hello?" He asked the air. "Are you listening?"
"I'm always listening." The Guardian replied in its third or was it its fourth different voice? He'd lost track. "What do you want now? If it's to leave, I have not finished observing you."
It would be good to leave but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. "No but I need something else."
"And what would that be? I already told you the lamp is forbidden to you until I resolve the problems you present me with." The voice died away in echoes.
"What does the lamp contain?" He asked it hopefully.
He got the same answer as he always did. "That is forbidden for you to know. Will there be anything else?"
"Yes." He screwed up his courage. "I want someone to talk to."
"You're talking to me." The voice told him with what sounded like reproof.
"But you're not human. I need someone human to talk to or I'll go mad."
"We can't have that. You're already bad enough for me sane." There was a long pause. "I cannot bring a person in from the outside as the only entrance is by using the magic spell my master created." There was another pause. "But there are several beings here you could converse with if you desire."
"They're human?" He asked with a small smile.
"Well, that lets out most of them." The voice sighed. "I do not think vampires and zombies qualify as human any more. The dijins are closer though. There are several who might qualify. The one in the lamp is forbidden."
Abis Mal raised an eyebrow but said nothing. So it was a dijin or genie in the lamp? That was useful information. "That's all right. I'll be glad to talk to one of the others."
"Male or female or is there no preference?"
Abis Mal's eyes lit up. "Female would be nice." Males always seemed to want to stab him. At least women only wanted to throw things.
"Very well. Go about thirty of your waddling paces and turn right. You'll see a green jade table. On it you'll find a gold ring with a jade center piece. Rub it three times and she'll appear. I will warn you that I've made sure she can enact no magic to remove you from these premises."
There was a sigh. "I apologize that you've had to remain here so long. I too would like to be free of this place, but I am bound here by the orders of my Master, Izra the Mad. Now, please go as I need quiet to think about the problems you present me with."
Abis Mal followed the directions and only got lost twice. He finally found the table with the ring. He picked it up and rubbed it. A cloud of green smoke formed and he waited with a little trepidation as knowing his luck he would probably end up with someone like the last landlady he'd had. She'd been a real shrew with her carping on and on about her back rents.
There was a shriek of happiness and then someone within the smoke giggled before saying. "Free. Free. Free of that horrible, confining little ring."
The smoke cleared, revealing a blond woman with dusky skin who looked no more than twenty two. She had the most beautiful face he'd ever seen. She was wearing a small silk vest that did nothing to hide that she was very female. She had a wasp-thin waist just above a pair of the smallest shorts he'd ever seen on a woman and her legs were to die for. Her eyes were green and totally focused on him. She smiled revealing perfect white teeth.
She made a bow, almost revealing everything that her top barely covered. "I am Jean the dijin of the ring. I am at your command." She stepped back and sighed. "I can imagine what that's going to be."
Abis Mal smiled at her. "Just keep talking. I love your voice."
"Say again?" Her cute face puckered up in a frown. "I think I've been in that ring too long. It's affected my hearing."
"Oh, that's so lovely. Your voice is lovelier than all the pretties in this place." He indicated she should sit down across from him. "You don't know how long it's been since I held a conversation with anyone but the Guardian. Just keep talking."
She sat and frowned. "Don't you want to do it?" At his confused look she said. "You know, be physical?"
He sighed. He knew how well the opposite sex was attracted to him. The number of his former girlfriends could be counted on one hand with it clenched into a fist. None. "Only if you want it." He knew how much chance there was of that.
"No." She shook her head. "I've never wanted it but all the men who were master seemed to and don't get me started on some of the women." She frowned again. "You really only want to talk?"
"Yes. Tell me about yourself. I don't care what you say. Just talk."
"You're a strange one." She smiled and it seemed the whole cave lit up. "But I like you. I think this could be one of the most interesting things that has happened to me in centuries."
She started to speak, hesitated, and frowned. "I don't know where to begin. Usually my new master wants only to hear the rules of the contract."
"Contract?" It was Abis Mal's turn to frown. He should've known that it was too good to be true.
"Yes." She held up the fingers of one hand and began counting them off with a finger from the other. "First, I'm not allowed to bring someone back from the dead and I couldn't if I tried. You'd just be wasting a wish if you insisted on it. Second, I can't force someone else to love you. Third, you cannot extend the number of wishes. Fourth, I can't make someone kill someone else for you, and Fifth, I can't kill someone for you." She dropped her hands and sighed. "That's pretty much it."
"How many wishes do I get?" He asked her.
"Five, but I warn you my power is limited. That's why you get five instead of the usual obligatory three." She smiled tentatively at him. "Now, do you still want to talk?"
"Oh, yes." He smiled back and rubbed his fat little ankles together in nervousness. "I've been alone so long here that just hearing you talk is like having my fondest wish granted. So, please begin." He waited expectantly.
She frowned. "I've never carried on a real conversation before. I don't know where to start?"
He shrugged. "Just talk about yourself, your family, your hopes and dreams." He sighed. "Maybe that's not such a good idea. When I do that, most people head for the exits."
She smiled. "Well, let's hope that I don't do that to you." She considered a moment. "My family is quite large. There are hundreds of dijin confined to various things like lamps, rings, vases, necklaces, and anything else human wizards put their mind to. I once knew a genie whose home was a chamber pot. Needless to say he was not happy about his housing." She looked up as if to ask 'is this all right?'
He chuckled. "I've had a few bad experiences with chamber pots myself but usually they were being thrown at me. They didn't bother to empty them either."
"You poor man." She reached out as if to touch his hand and then drew back with a nervous smile.
"But what about you?" He rubbed his chin and then took off his turban to set it aside, revealing a large bald spot. "Are you happy in your ring?"
"Happy?" She considered this and then shook her head. "I was once a free spirit that roamed the sands and oasis wherever I wanted to. It was not my choice to be in that tiny ring. A master wizard, Izra the Mad, put me there. May he burn for eternity!"
"Amen." Boomed the voice of the Guardian which died away into echoes.
There was an uncomfortable silence and seeking to change the subject he asked. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
She shook her head. "I have none that I know of. I even have no idea who my parents were. Until I became human I had no concept of family." She sighed. "Until I became both human and dijin I had no idea what the world was like and now that I've seen it through human eyes I would not want to go back." She tossed her hair back and then smiled at him. "Tell me about your family."
He picked up his turban and wrung it in his hands. "I never knew my parents. I was found on the steps of an orphanage. Some children at the orphanage once told me that the reason I was abandoned was that I was too weird for anyone to want to live with." He looked down sadly.
She reached out her hand and this time the touch lingered. "Then lack of family is something we both have in common."
He looked at her hand but did not touch it. He'd been bitten too many times by female derision to even dare. He looked up at her but saw no derision in her eyes. He coughed. "Tell me about some of your adventures. I'm sure you have some great tales to tell."
Her face lit up. "Now that I can do." And she began to regale him with stories of her previous masters and her adventures while he sat there and soaked it in, reveling in having a conversation with a woman who was bright and witty as well as beautiful, and who was not throwing chamber pots at him.