Sorry this took so long...

Lauren watched Amy from across the Brew-N-Chew and sighed.

This was not how this was supposed to go, it was supposed to be better by now. It had been almost two months. She wasn't supposed to still be watching her sister from a distance and sneaking around, following her to coffee shops and home again, rearranging her schedule so they'd have study hall together, asking Karma to bring her home early from dates. Lauren had thought - and Shane had encouraged - that maybe Amy's mystery girl (or guy, it might be a guy, cause, you know, mystery) would have made things better.

"If she's happy maybe she won't be mad," Shane suggested one Tuesday. "Especially if she's, you know… happy." He wiggled his brows and Lauren rolled her eyes and turned back to keep watching Amy but, she had to admit, he might have had a point.

Not that she'd admit that to him.

They were sitting in that same booth at the back of the Brew-N-Chew, the same way they had been for weeks, since Shane had come by that first time. It was their booth now, not just hers and Lauren wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that, but since it wasn't like Karma was going to be joining her on her little Tuesday-Thursday trips any time soon, Shane would have to do and he wasn't that bad.

Not that she'd admit that to him, either.

He watched Amy for a minute, turning sideways in the booth so he could see. "She does seem happy," he said and Lauren had to agree. Amy was smiling again and not just when she was with the film club. Lauren had seen her grin in the hall between first and second period just that morning and she was pretty sure Amy and Farrah had both been smiling (and laughing) (and probably not at her) when she came down for breakfast yesterday.

And if that - the smiling and the laughing and the happy and the all of it - stopped the moment she stepped foot in the kitchen… well… Lauren was getting used to that, whether she wanted to or not.

(It was not.) (Decidedly not.)

But at least Amy was smiling. Lauren hadn't realized how much she would miss that until it was gone. Until she (and Karma) had made it go. Sometimes, not that she would tell Shane this, Lauren thought she spent as much time as she did following Amy around just for those few fleeting seconds of smile, for curved lips and shiny teeth and dancing eyes.

What the fuck had falling in love done to her?

"I told you they elected her club president, didn't I?" Shane asked, cutting into her thoughts, and Lauren nodded. He'd told her, he'd told her like five times. "Amy running a school club," he muttered with a shake of his head. "Who'd have ever thought we'd see the day?"

Not Lauren, that's for damn sure. And, more importantly, she'd never thought she'd have to hear about it from Shane. Or that he'd have to hear about it from Oliver (like Lauren knew who the fuck he was) but that was the price Shane had had to pay.

"She saw us," he'd told her a couple weeks earlier. "Amy saw us talking in the hall. Except she didn't say 'talking', she said 'whispering'." Yeah, like either of them could ever whisper about anything. "'Conspiring', that's what she said. She said we were 'conspiring' and it's not like she's not talking to me," Shane said, "cause she is, but it's… just not the same, you know?"

Yeah, Lauren knew. She had an idea. She had a painfully good idea of what that was like but, unfortunately, she didn't have any other ideas, like about how to make things better (short of dumping Karma) or to get Amy to talk to her again (short of dumping Karma) (or tying Amy to a chair and even then…) or even how to find out who Amy was seeing.

"It's gotta still be a 'seeing' kinda thing," Shane insisted, which was the first time Lauren realized there was a difference. "If they were together, like really dating, she wouldn't be so secret about it, she wouldn't try so hard to hide it. So it's gotta be new and it's gotta still be… fragile."

Fragile. Another word Lauren knew well.

Fragile, like her homelife what with the sister and the stepmother who went radio fucking silent every time she walked in a room. Fragile, like her GPA which - between the amount of time she spent watching (stalking) Amy and the amount of time she spent with (and with) Karma - was slipping further and further into merely above average territory. Fragile, like her bank account cause she kept spending so much money on those stupid coffee drinks and fragile like her waistline cause of those stupid coffee drinks (and the muffins cause you can't have one of those stupid drinks and not have a muffin) and fragile like her sanity cause she was starting, slowly, to find herself looking forward to spending time with Shane.

Shane.

Fuck. This needed to stop and this needed to stop like now.

"We need to see that phone," Shane said, nodding at Amy's ever present and ever clutched and ever stared at and smiled at - and fuck all if Lauren didn't know better she'd swear Amy was 'seeing' a fucking iPhone - phone. "Can't you just sneak into her room and grab it when she's in the shower or something?"

Lauren shook her head. "She locks her door now," she said and yes, that did mean that sneaking in was something she'd already tried. Twice. "The only way into her room would be through the bathroom and if you think Amy's not speaking to me now…"

Sneaking in was right out and there was no other way Lauren could get close and, even if Amy hadn't picked up on how her bestie (the one she had left) and her sister (the one she barely even acknowledged) were 'conspiring', she still didn't seem to be giving Shane many chances to snag that damn phone.

"It never leaves her hand," he said, sipping slowly on his drink (which, like Lauren's, was now Karma's and that was just one more reason this needed to end.) "And I mean like never," he said. "She came over for dinner the other night and she didn't even let go of it to eat." He glanced at Lauren for emphasis. "And we had shrimp. She had to eat them one at a time."

Maybe it was still, as Shane put it, 'seeing', but it was clearly fucking serious seeing.

"What if I asked her mom?"

Lauren paused mid-sip and glared at him over her straw. "And why would you have to ask my stepmother?" she asked even if, deep down (and really, she didn't have to go that deep) she fucking knew why.

Shane frowned and mumbled something (something that sounded suspiciously like 'cause she still likes me') into his drink and then quickly changed the subject. "Did you see what Brandy was wearing today?"

Lauren rolled her eyes (again) and shook her head - he was so fucking transparent - but yes, she had seen what Brandy was wearing. There wasn't much to it, which was why it was hard to miss and ever since Karma, Lauren had found herself… looking - at girls - a bit more than she was really comfortable with and it had been… difficult, to say the least… for her to not stare.

And equally difficult not to wonder if she could find out where Brandy got her outfit cause as good as it looked on her? It would look even better on a certain redhead.

Or off a certain redhead and now Lauren was thinking about that, about how much more of Karma she was seeing with every passing day (even if it still wasn't all and it still wasn't nearly enough) and she knew she was blushing - they could probably see her from space - and Shane was smirking cause he knew and he knew that she knew that he knew so Lauren took a long sip of her drink (cause cold) and thought of Liam (cause bonerkiller) and fiipped Shane off over her cup.

It was her turn to change the subject. "Farrah wouldn't help anyway," she said, and that was the truth. Amy was happy and that meant a lot to Farrah - more peace and less angst and fewer awkward attempts at helpful mother and daughter chats, mostly - and there was no way she would risk all that, not even for Lauren.

Maybe especially not for Lauren.

And that… it hurt. "I used to feel like… like she was my mom," Lauren said. Her eyes were unfocused, staring in Amy's general direction, but she wasn't really seeing anything at all and Shane stopped smirking and listened. He'd learned (quickly) how to pick up on the cues, how to tell the moments when the real Lauren slipped out and he'd come to find that he actually kinda liked her. "She always loved Amy more," Lauren said. "But it was me she… liked… and I could have gone to her for anything back then and now…"

And now.

And now Lauren loved Karma and she loved being with Karma (and not just with her) and now she wasn't going to give that up for anything (or anyone) but that meant that and now Amy wasn't speaking to her and now Farrah was, but barely, and now she had someone she loved but felt almost more alone than before and now, as much as she loved Karma, Lauren kinda hated how much of her life was an 'and now…' just as much.

The moment turned awkward and weird (but sorta sweet) as Shane tried to console her, to reassure her that "She'll come around." He didn't specify which 'she' he meant (cause they knew it was Farrah, cause Amy coming around was a far less certain proposition.) "And we'll figure it out," he said, covering one of Lauren's hands with his own. "Who Amy's seeing, and how to get her to talk to you, and how to get her to forgive you and Karma."

He sounded so sure, so confident, it was almost enough to make Lauren believe.

But then Amy happened to look up from her phone and she had that smile behind her eyes again and her cheeks were tinged pink and she was nibbling lightly on her bottom lip. She glanced across the way and saw Lauren, their eyes meeting and it was like the first time Amy had seen her in weeks and Lauren thought maybe Shane was right. But then she remembered that, once upon a time, not that long ago, Amy would have hustled across the Brew-N-Chew and told her all about it, told her everything about who was on the other end of that text and told her every little detail about the new girl (or guy) in her life.

And now…

And now, Amy turned back to the guy sitting next to her. She started pointing animatedly at some flyer he was holding and Shane started talking again, discussing plans to get the phone and asking if maybe they could go to Karma for help and it was all Lauren could do to stay there, to not run, and to silently stir her drink while she watched and waited, hoping Amy would turn back around, even if only so she could see that smile for just a second more.

She didn't.