When Ianto stirred awake in the night, the first thing he wondered was who he was snuggled up with. It had been months since Jack had… oh, that was Jack in his arms. The second thing Ianto wondered was what had woken him. He listened for the sound of his mobile, thinking it was likely a Torchwood call, as it usually was when he was roused in the middle of the night.
It took Ianto a few moments to realise it was Jack who had woken him, though he was clearly still asleep himself. Jack seemed to be twitching in his sleep, subtly at first but it grew more violent by the moment until Jack shot awake with a cry. He scrambled back and away from Ianto so fast that he fell out of bed and landed in a stunned heap on the floor. Even then, Jack was grasping for purchase and still trying to get his sleep-heavy limbs to cooperate when Ianto crawled over his side of the bed and reached down.
"Are you alright?" Ianto asked.
Jack stopped struggling and peered up at Ianto in the dark. "Huh? Wha- where am I?"
"My flat," Ianto said, catching Jack's hand and tugging him up. "We came back here last night, after you'd come back, remember?"
"Oh…," Jack breathed. He laid back down beside Ianto, but didn't immediately curl up to get back to sleep. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I don't know how long this is going to go on. Not like I haven't always had nightmares, but… these are kinda new. Might take a while to subside."
Ianto just shifted over, resting his head on Jack's shoulder and his arm across Jack's chest. "It's ok, Jack."
"Not if you're losing valuable sleep because of -"
"I've had nightmares all my life, too, Jack. It's just something that happens sometimes when the world throws too much scary stuff at us. Our minds try to work it out while our bodies are down for repairs. Anyway, it's better having someone there to help you chase the monsters away."
"I guess that's us all around, then, chasing away one another's monsters."
Ianto nodded against Jack's shoulder and kissed his collar. Jack laid his hand on Ianto's arm and closed his eyes.
When Ianto woke next, the source was obvious. Morning light filled the room, his pyjama top was unbuttoned, and someone with spiky brown hair was licking his right nipple.
"Hi," Ianto said, running his fingers through Jack's hair.
Jack stopped and grinned up at Ianto. "Hi," he said, going back to his work.
Relief flooded Ianto so fully that he realized just how tense he'd been feeling ever since the night he and Jack had that row. He had missed that cheeky, smug, charming, and rather naughty grin more than anything, and even when Jack returned he'd worried that Jack might not grin like that again for a long, long time.
"How are you feeling?" Ianto checked, continuing to card through Jack's sleep-rumpled hair.
"Like a new man," Jack said sincerely, shifting to kiss Ianto. "That's down to you, Ianto Jones."
"I didn't exactly do much," Ianto murmured.
Jack shook his head, cupping Ianto's cheek. "You did everything, Ianto. You listened to me but you also didn't let me get away with self-pity. And I want to tell you more, if you'll let me. There's so much I've never told anyone – things about me, about my life…. Because you are a part of my life, the best part."
Ianto caught Jack's hand on his cheek and held it, turning his head to kiss Jack's palm.
"In fact, I'd really like to show you just how much you're the best part of my life," Jack smiled. "Interested?" he asked, dragging his fingertips along Ianto's chin and collar before tucking his head to flick his tongue over Ianto's nipple again.
"Be lying if I said I wasn't," already getting a bit short of breath.
"Good," Jack grinned. "Then you just relax and let me show you how special you are to me."
Ianto tangled his fingers in Jack's hair again and pulled him in for a long kiss.
"Do you have condoms?" Jack asked, trailing his lips down Ianto's neck.
It took Ianto a moment to realise Jack was asking a question. "Um… yeah, but they might not be in date. Haven't, um… had any use for them."
"Ok. I can work around that," Jack said before catching that sensitive spot between Ianto's throat and collarbone with a gentle nip that sent a bolt right through Ianto's body, just like it always did when Jack grazed his teeth there.
"I'll be sure to stock up on fresh condoms," Ianto breathed as Jack cleaned them up cursorily with a warm cloth, then pulled the blankets back up over them before a chill could catch the damp skin.
"Well, you know, I was thinking…," Jack started, curled against Ianto, "maybe we don't really need too many? I mean, I don't know how you feel about it, but if it's ok, maybe we could not use them?"
"I'd be ok with that. Had a complete physical when I joined the team, so everything's clear with me."
"Me too," Jack nodded.
"Do those things, um… reset, when you… you know, come back?" Ianto asked.
"I have no idea," Jack admitted. "I've had alien illnesses that did go away after I'd died and come back, but nothing like what you're talking about. I'm a big proponent of prevention on that front."
"Yeah. Just wondered."
"There is… something you should know about, though. Kinda related. And, uh, if we do quit condoms, we should probably wait a few weeks. Depending on the weather."
Ianto cocked his head, not following. "Depending on the weather?"
"Uh huh. You remember laughing when I said that rain is good for me?"
"Yes. It was the same night you died, in the rain, in the middle of the road."
"Yeah…. Well, um, the thing about the rain that's beneficial, to me, is that it contains a lot of oestrogen. Particularly in cities. Contraception. Only… uh… I haven't been exposed to any for the last year. So…. Back-up method is a good idea."
"You're telling me you can get pregnant?"
"Yep. Evolution by the 51st century. I would have told you about it before, but… well, as we hadn't really progressed beyond condom use anyway…."
"Ok, but, then that's normal for males where – uh, when – you're from? Not something that came with your immortality?"
"That's right. Though, all populations are different. The colony I'm from originally, the majority of males were fertile. John's from a different part of the same galaxy where male fertility is still an exception."
"Would you ever… um, want to have children?"
Jack sighed. "That's a complicated question. I was pregnant once. But I was stuck in a time loop, and when we finally got out of it, well, things that happened during that time didn't exist anymore."
"I understand," Ianto said quietly.
"There's more, of course," Jack said, not sure how Ianto would take the rest of his answer, but since he'd promised to be open about things that had to do with them both, hiding it or omitting it wasn't an option anymore. Ianto didn't look anything but attentive, so Jack took encouragement from that. "I do have a child," Jack said, and with that Ianto became the only living person other than Her Majesty who knew that about Jack Harkness.
Ianto couldn't help thinking back to his first doubts about dating Jack, before he'd known anything about Torchwood and Time Agents. I just hope he isn't sneaking around on a wife and three kids or something. Ianto could presume from the singular noun that it wasn't three kids, and Jack had told him back then that, no, he wasn't married. And then there was the fact that: "You don't sound happy when you say that," Ianto observed.
"We don't have a good relationship," Jack said quietly. "Her mother and I didn't either. She wouldn't let me anywhere near them for years. By the time Maria passed… Alice just thought I'd spent all that time being… well, what everybody thinks of me, really: the goodtime guy who's always got something and someone better to do."
Ianto shut his eyes, feeling only a fraction of the sting Jack must have been feeling. "That's not fair," he whispered.
"Yeah," Jack murmured.
Ianto held Jack close to him. "I think you're a wonderful man, Jack. I hope you believe that. Even more so because of everything you've endured and come through still able to love."
"I could say the same about you," Jack said, trying to steady his voice.
Jack stood at Ianto's refrigerator, frowning at the contents.
"Letting all the cold air out, you are," Ianto grumbled, shifting passed Jack to put on a small pot of coffee.
"Not much else in there but cold air. You used to have real food, as I recall."
Ianto sighed. "Yeah. I tried to keep that up, but sort of wound up in a pattern of takeaway being all I've had time for. On the upside, we're constantly running – literally – so I haven't put on weight."
"You didn't have any weight to spare as it was," Jack said. "And if this is indicative of your diet, you aren't getting enough vegetables."
Ianto raised a brow. "You're right. My cucumber rations did diminish rather significantly."
Jack narrowed his eyes and suppressed a grin. "I'm serious. Now I'm back, I'm going to have to insist you eat better."
"Maybe you should show me how to eat properly," Ianto said with his most innocent look.
Jack struggled not to snicker. "You should have been taking notes an hour ago."
"But you said it was veg I needed, and what you had was all meat."
Jack shook his head and sighed. "I can't do better than that, you win."
Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack's waist and kissed him. Jack responded in kind, leading to a long, enjoyable snog while the coffee brewed.
"Coffee," Ianto said, giving Jack one more peck as the coffee brewer clicked off. "Then we'll go for lunch before work. I'll even have a salad. Maybe two."
Jack decided not to think about that 'before work' part. As eager as he was to get back to his team, he didn't fancy the awkwardness that was sure to hang in the air for the next few days. Nor was he exactly sure how to apologise and explain his sudden and prolonged disappearance. He decided to just concentrate on Ianto's coffee and going to lunch together – just like a normal couple.
Before Ianto pulled away to pour a couple mugs, Jack gently framed his face between his hands for a moment. "I love you, Ianto. I know I don't say it enough, I'm a lot better at showing than telling, but I do love you."
"I love you, too, Jack. Don't worry about how many times you say it or how many times you send flowers. I won't doubt it as long as I can feel it."
Jack determined then and there that not a day would go by that Ianto Jones didn't feel how loved he was.