A/N: (Another one. Forget what I said about making this like a book - it's more like a magazine story with weekly installments. Hey, it's how all the authors did it in the 19th century!)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm slightly late! I had an essay to finish, honestly, and you know my chapters are pretty long and I have to keep re-watching the movie scenes and- okay, I'll stop making excuses and hang my head in shame (still, come on, it was less than 24 hours over).

So thank you for your reviews, follows and favourites - it's nice to see some regulars building up, it's like I have my own little sandwich shop you keep visiting. I'd particularly like to thank xemtlenc for helping me to decide that Harper needs to be in the movie more!

With that in mind, following the film's themes of family, adventure and finding something (whether a stone or a stronger bond to the ones you love), I will be adding in a subplot in which Harper, lonely now that Alex won't be staying with her, goes on a cross-state adventure to reach her beloved Nana Franny (that's her grandmother, if you haven't seen episodes where she's mentioned) in either Florida, Texas, Hawaii or another state (there's still time to vote for which state via the poll on my profile page - the new deadline is the end of Tuesday 7th October 2014 because I don't think many more people are going to vote and I'd like to start my geographical research and whatnot).

Expect a short bonus chapter on Wednesday or Thursday introducing Harper's subplot. The next installment in the main storyline should, as usual, be up sometime next weekend.

Also, I'd just like to add that I welcome constructive criticism (you can always structure it good point, bad point, good point if you like), so please don't hesitate to review and let me know how I can improve. Or tell me what you like so I can keep doing it!

Thank you.

Warnings: Once again there's some strong language and I'd say... very mild implied sexual content. A glimpse into Harper's sad home life (not cool, Disney, using that as a punchline for all those seasons) - and a good old bit of Google-translated Latin (yikes).

'Justin.'

It was ten at night in Waverly Place; the sound of traffic and police sirens outside blending into the atmosphere. After Jerry Russo had stopped hyperventilating and sputtering fragmented sentences in which 'Alex' and 'can't be trusted' had come up rather frequently, Teresa had called the insurance company and arranged for the more costly option - more sputtering - of having someone come over to fix the damaged sandwich shop immediately rather than risk using any more magic in one day. Considering the further cost to, and possible total annihilation of, the family business that could come as a result of Alex being left home alone for two weeks, it had been decided, or rather demanded, that unless Alex wanted to spend yet another summer at Wiztech (and this year the only place still available was that of janitor) then she had better have her bag packed and ready to go to the Caribbean by tomorrow afternoon.

Justin had returned to his room after washing the dishes to finish his own packing and also get one last piece of self-assigned homework done, if he did say so himself - after all, if Justin wanted to make it as valedictorian next year he needed to keep his brain active during the summer months too. He had hoped that dinner would be the last he'd see of Alex until tomorrow at least, if not forever, but the sight of her standing in his doorway fresh from the shower and dressed in pajamas which read The only pi worth digesting is the blueberry kind (brought with the intent to start arguments) made his hopes fall right down beyond the floor, beyond the earth's crust and into the centre of the earth.

He raised an eyebrow, not moving from his desk.

She crossed her arms, 'Did you go into my room?'

Oh God. Everything else fell out of him too. She knows! She knows! She had cameras installed, she saw me, she's gonna tell Mum and Dad! 'Psh. Huh. I- well-'

Alex smiled, he sounded just like their father.

Justin took in her expression. Wait, Alex didn't look devious, or disgusted, enough to have that kind of blackmail material against him. He took a breath, regulating his heartbeat, he would not let her accidentally get information out of him for the millionth time, 'Come on, Alex, you- you sneak into my room all the time.'

And... he had just admitted that he had been in her room, hadn't he? Nice one, genius - he wanted to slap himself.

The world was silent, the noise of Manhattan gone, while she thought for a second, pushing out her lower lip. Justin found himself staring at it.

'True,' she said and his eyes snapped back to his work, 'but since half the work in packing is getting the stuff out of the wardrobe - and you're all taking me hostage on this vacation since I "can't be trusted",' she crossed her arms tighter and huffed, 'I guess all you did was make my life easier, huh Egghead?'

Damn it! Wait... this meant she really didn't know the horrible truth. He was saved! Thank you, God- or, not God, if you don't exist! Justin almost grinned before realising that he was supposed to be annoyed. Heck, he was annoyed. She still thought she could be trusted after almost getting herself and Harper killed - again? He got up and walked over to her, mimicking her body language. He was about to comment on her unprecedented levels of laziness and victim playing when he noticed the dark marks on her arm.

'Alex! What happened?' she was covered in bruises and he grabbed her instinctively. She winced. 'Sorry,' he said, readjusting his fingers to examine her more gently.

She rolled her eyes, 'I just fell over when that stupid spell backfired-' she switched subjects before he could start asking what spell it was and possibly find out that she still had The Forbidden Book of Spells he thought was safely tucked away in his bag (ha), 'Jeez, Justin, could you be anymore of a mum? What, after this are you gonna tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight?'

He couldn't stop himself from blushing, 'Do you want me to fix them or not?'

He slowly guided her over to his desk and motioned for her to sit down; she tilted her head back and moaned at the ceiling. For fuck's sake, you'd think she was dying. Sitting on the table instead and no doubt crumpling some of his papers, Alex waited for him to get on with it. He switched on his desktop lamp - he hadn't realised how dark it had gotten. The sudden light illuminated their hands, touching as he balanced her left arm in the air, and then he took out the family wand, of course, Alex thought,and pointed it at the first bruise, 'Sentiat vulnus.'

Immediately she felt the pain start to ease as her skin began to return to its normal colour and the golden trail of magic worked its way along her arm - but she was pissed, okay? So she complained, 'Ugh. I should have guessed, this was just another chance for you to show off. Oh, look at me and my precious family wand of trust and responsibility.'

She watched his eyebrows furrow. Good, she'd hurt his fragile feelings. 'This is the fastest way - the family wand is more powerful than mine, Alex, that's the only reason I'm using it. I wouldn't kick you while you're down like that.'

She was getting tired of holding up her arm so she rested its full weight into his hand before continuing, 'Oh please, we always kick each other when we're down - it's how you get ahead in this family.' She wasn't sure she agreed with what she was saying but she said it anyway.

He looked up, breaking his concentration and letting the pain return a little, 'I don't know why I'm even bothering to do this. I should have known you wouldn't be grateful.'

The last remains of Alex's smile disappeared, 'Huh. See? You're not doing this to be nice, you're just doing it so you can be worshipped once again, so you can boast about how much better you are at everything, so you can make me thank you and tell you you're my hero just like Harper or Juliet,' she yanked her arm out of his touch roughly, causing her to wince again - the bruises hadn't fully healed yet, 'Yeah, I don't know why you bother either - you know I was only waiting to do this.' Alex hopped down from Justin's desk and pulled out her own wand.

She pointed it at his almost-fully-packed suitcase. A second later it exploded and his clothes fired out all over the room.

He was frozen, his arms still in the position they had been in when he had been holding her. He stared at his newly empty suitcase, slightly singed at the edges.

'Alex!'

'Fuck you, dork.' she kicked a fallen jacket out of the way and stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind her as loudly as possible.

Over in Max's room, the boy looked up from his own packing, Hm, either Alex is mad again... or she's starting up a new band out of furniture instruments!

Harper did return the next day - but only after being convinced that Mr. and Mrs. Russo didn't hate or blame her for Alex's uncontrollable behaviour, after all, if they couldn't control their daughter, how could they expect Harper to? Sitting on her only real friend's bed, she watched the morning light filter through Alex's pink and purple curtains, casting patterns on the rug. Harper knew she wasn't very good at being independent; what was she going to do with her friend away in another country? She'd made so many plans - she was finally going to get Alex to go to that art and textiles museum downtown (in exchange Harper had agreed to go with her to Coney Island,despite Alex having already been banned from it twice, to watch in horror as she put a spell on the seagulls so that they'd all land their droppings on one unfortunate victim).

She was pulled out of her daydreaming of what might have been by Alex throwing another item into her suitcase, almost hitting Harper in the face.

'I'm really sorry you can't stay with me anymore,' Harper said. Alex was upset too, she just expressed it differently - by throwing things, mostly.

Harper dodged a boot as it flew through the air, hitting the wall behind her.

She glanced at her friend's arms, 'Hey, you've hardly bruised at all. We hit the ground so hard yesterday, I'm still gonna be black and blue when you get back,' she laughed nervously, 'Nana Franny always said I bruise like a peach, runs in the family I guess. She- this isn't helping to distract you, is it?'

Alex's shoulders slumped and she turned around, 'I'm sorry too, Harper, I'm just... in a really bad mood right now, I-' she chucked down the hat she had been holding as her anger bubbled up again, 'I was never really gonna get to stay with you, was I? She's been planning this all along, just waiting for my innocent borrowing of the diner- I bet she didn't even have any problems with me going to that party! - just waiting to use it as an excuse to make me go with them!'

Harper watched as Alex paced back and forth, twisting and distorting things. She really had to stop doing that - it just wasn't healthy to think that way, 'Alex, you know that's not true. You love your mum.' She hated it when Alex fought with her family. When she looked at the Russo's, she understood what family really was - her own mother wasn't around enough to worry about her going to a party in Brooklyn or take her to the Caribbean, not that it had to be the Caribbean, but the only travelling the Finkles would willingly do with their daughter would be the kind which involved endless rehearsals, endless shouting, endless you'd-better-do-it-right-this-time-or-everything-will-be-ruined-again-because-of-you-Harper and Harper lying in bed trying not to cry.

Alex stopped her pacing, unaware of the thoughts going on inside Harper's head but hating it when she gave her that look and made her feel all guilty, 'I didn't say that I didn't love her. I just... I just don't want to spend two whole weeks in full-on "family mode."' She made the air quotes with her fingers to accompany this.

Harper beamed, perking up instantly, 'Are you guys gonna wear matching outfits? If you'd said earlier I could have made-' then she noticed that Alex was frowning, 'I mean that would be... really bad.'

Meanwhile, Mrs. Russo had been down in the kitchen, checking that Max - or Jerry for that matter - hadn't left out any food to go rotten while they were away. The last thing they needed was to come back to a rat infestation, with Max's crazy improvisations with the menu their reputation was bad enough as it was. Speaking of which, she'd better go check he wasn't making any improvisations with his packing, Oh, Maxie - please bring enough underwear. She didn't think she'd be able to stand the smell if he used the same pair of boxers for fourteen days straight.

She noticed Alex's door had been left partially open when she was almost past it. What? She knew it was wrong to spy on her kids but... they needed checking up on every once in a while, you know? It's a mother's job to keep her kids out of trouble.

They were talking about the day Jerry had given up his powers for her, 'I still can't believe he did that.'

Teresa frowned. How had she ended up with such an unfeminine daughter? She still hadn't fully understood Alex's refusal to have her own Quinceanera - not that she was complaining, she had had a fantastic night, well apart from the Justin... comment but- well, it was a strange night for everyone, no one was quite themselves that night - but for her not to understand why someone would want to sacrifice something for the woman he loved?

'I can. I love that story. It sounds so romantic.'

Oh, Harper. She really would be the one to take care of her and Jerry in old age. She decided to make her entrance, 'It was.'

Alex jumped slightly before turning her back to her mother, sulking.

'Do you need any help?' Teresa tried. She was only sixteen, after all - she remembered how much it hurt to have no independence. Maybe she had been a little too-

'No,' Alex tried to sound as mature as possible - it failed, 'I most definitely do not need your help.'

'Well,' Harper was feeling stuck in the middle again, 'see you in P.E.!' and once again, she made a dash for the door.

A little stung at the way Alex was behaving when she had reached out to her like that; shown her the kindness that she wished her mother had shown her after she'd made mistakes - it had taken her a year and half to get over the fact that she was already pregnant when she married Jerry, Teresa looked at her daughter and said, 'Fine. But one of these days I just might not be there to offer it.'

'Mum.' Alex dropped her arms, and her defensive act, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.' Why was she capable of apologizing to everyone except Justin?

Teresa sighed - at least Alex seemed to be learning when enough was enough, 'I know what you meant,' she tapped the half-empty suitcase, 'Finish packing.'

Alex waved her wand and in a flash of light everything was neatly packed and ready to go, 'Done,' she smiled.

Teresa just stared. The girl really didn't know when enough was enough. Well, that was it. She was sick of magic and all the trouble it caused, she stepped closer to her daughter. Alex, not liking the look on her mother's face - it was slightly... satisfied, quickly undid the magic but it was too late, 'I hope you got it out of your system, because I've just declared this vacation magic-free,' she emphasised every syllable, 'Hand it over.'

Alex looked down at her mother's hand in horror. Seriously - always. Destroying. Her life.

Jerry hated doing this. It just wasn't him to be all stern and you-go-to-your-room-right-now-young-man with the appropriate finger waggling. Magic was in their blood, it wasn't right to stop them from using it - but his wife was right, if they wanted a real vacation, and not another fiasco, it had to be done.

Down in the restaurant he took a deep breath, 'So, I'm gonna need your wands.' He opened a hollowed out book already containing Alex's.

Max gasped, 'What? I can't give up my wand. Dad, there are so many spells I haven't even gotten a chance to do yet.' Oh no, he'd thought he meant forever, this could only lead to-

'Goats?' Jerry didn't understand.

Max turned left, then right, staring at the crowd of goats now surrounding him because of the final spell he'd cast, 'What?' his face fell as if all of his hopes and dreams had been crushed - and maybe, for Max, they had been, 'They were supposed to be tigers.'

Now he'd never get a chance to offer people a free tiger ride with every Max Creation (trademark) they purchased.

He made the goats vanish, defeated, before handing his father the wand.

Justin stepped closer to Jerry - surely this rule only really applied to Max and Alex, right? He just needed to use a bit of discretion, appeal to his father's senses, 'Dad,' he half-whispered, 'if I give you my wand, I'll only be able to do hand magic.' There was hardly any point in that.

Jerry sighed. Maybe it had been a bad idea to give Justin the family wand and spell book - now he thought he was the exception to every rule. 'The idea is no magic.'

What? 'I can't just not do magic for two weeks - we're going to the Caribbean. That's one of the most magical places in the universe.' Justin would know, member of the Alien Language League, remember?

Jerry had opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

'This is because of Alex, isn't it?' That little... you know what? He was going to say it. He was going to say it - well, think it. That little bitch. It was a miracle that sentiat vulnus worked to heal the wounds of suitcases too, or Justin wouldn't even have anything to put his clothes in right now. She always ruins everything!

Jerry closed his eyes, 'Justin. It's not always because of...' he opened them; his son's face clearly wasn't buying it, 'Well, okay. Yes- just... give me the wand.'

He held out his hand.

Justin looked off into the distance, hand on hip, twirling his wand like a Wizard Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, fighting against injustice. I will take a stand!

'Come on.'

'Come on,' Justin mimicked his father. Taking a stand.

'Give me the wand.'

'Give me the wand.' Fighting against evil little sisters everywhere.

Wait. For some reason his father didn't seem to think this was very mature - he could see it in his eyes, and... well everything about him really. He caved. He couldn't stand it if his parents thought he was childish, 'All right.'

Both he and Max crossed their arms simultaneously - but it was only Max who was sulking. Justin was showing his lack of agreement with having his rights as a U.S. citizen violated.

Over the next two hours, the Russos finished their packing (which Teresa had told them to finish yesterday).

That's the Wizarding Travel Guide to the Americas packed, Justin thought in his room, 'Ah, sticky note to self... do not forget sticky notes - of course!'

He heard Jerry shout up, 'Okay, it's time people. Everybody ready?'

And... 'Ready!'

Max, meanwhile, was trying to fit a fish bowl - fish included - into his suitcase. But there was no space for the toaster! Well, he shrugged, who needs underwear? And all those pairs his mother thought she had successfully snuck in while he was sleeping came flying out, lost forever in the cesspit that was Max's room. 'Ready!'

Alex, hiding the Forbidden Book of Spells under a cardigan, smiled to herself and yelled 'Ready!'

Then her mother came into the room to show her something.

Oh God, she was going to kill Harper.

Dressed in their matching outfits, courtesy of Harper J. Finkle, the Russos reluctantly posed for a photo - well, everyone was reluctant except Jerry, that is, who was clearly owning it, Man, I look good in this shirt!

'Tell me this is not the cutest thing you have ever seen?' Teresa asked.

'Ohh yeah-' then Justin looked at him, 'Sorry.'

Alex had said goodbye to a tearful Harper earlier and now all that was left to do was get in the taxi. The three Russo siblings stepped out into the daylight and grimaced as their mother started up on that story again, united by their hatred of that at least.

'Did I ever tell you the story?'

They dragged their suitcases out onto the street, trying to block her out.

'It was the summer after I graduated from college and- oh! Jerry, why didn't you hire a bigger taxi?' Thankfully, she had been thrown off by the small size of a seven-passenger people carrier.

'Honey, it was the biggest one available,' he leaned over to Max and whispered, 'believe me, if I had it my way we'd be walking to the airport.'

'But where will my second suitcase go?' she crouched down, peering inside. Justin and Alex were already seated, hand luggage dividing them, 'Oh! We can put it here,' she gestured to where Alex was sitting, shooing her out of the way.

'Mum, this is where I'm sitting,' she wasn't giving up her seat for a stupid bunch of shoes and handbags.

'Oh, it's fine! Just... sit on your brother's lap,' Teresa was eager to get going.

Alex and Justin both inhaled sharply. 'No!'

'Why not?'

Alex made a face, 'Because that's gross, mum - that's where Juliet sits when-'

Justin quickly cut her off, yanking her over the hand luggage and onto his lap as she squealed, 'Of course Alex can sit on my lap!' he grinned through the near-heart attack. Alex had walked in on himself and Juliet getting cosy in the lair on more than one occasion and he was not about to let her announce that to everyone, taxi driver included.

'Justin! Get off of me!' her dress had ridden up to her thighs and his hands around her waist felt like Dean's for a second. She squirmed violently.

Letting go of her - he didn't think his body would have no reaction if she kept squirming like that for the whole journey, he tried to give the driver, who was looking less and less certain about letting them stay in his taxi, a reassuring look.

'I know!' Alex said, 'Max can sit on Justin's lap!'

Max's head suddenly popped down in front of the window on Justin's side, giving him a second heart attack as he shouted, 'Really? Then I'd be taller than all of you! Thanks, Justin!' Max proceeded to open the door and crash heavily onto Justin's lap, no doubt causing some tissue damage.

'Well then,' Teresa smiled, having secured her suitcase and taken a seat in front of them, 'I guess that's sorted. Now, where was I? Oh! So, I had just ordered this papaya smoothie-'

'Guava!' everyone exclaimed.

Alex tipped her head back. She could tell already, she was going to have a great time. Not.