The car journey was very awkward. Meredith again didn't say a word. Miranda talked about the surgeries she'd performed in the past few days and Meredith listened. The scenery whooshing past the window was pretty and the car smelt like lavender. Meredith felt a bit safer. 'Can we go to the house Derek built? I can't be like this in front of the kids.' Meredith asked. 'Meredith, you need to be with people. I rang Amelia, she's waiting for you in the kitchen' Miranda protested. Meredith nodded.
A few minutes later, Miranda pulled up outside the house. Just before Meredith left the car, Miranda grabbed Meredith's arm. 'I am so sorry Meredith. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I just want you to know that you can call me. Anytime. For anything. Whatever you do don't go all in on yourself. I know you Meredith Grey. Speak to Amelia or Maggie. Speak to the Samaritans. Speak to someone. Take time off. Spend time with those beautiful children but whatever you do Meredith. Don't you give up on yourself. You are a fantastic surgeon and you'll get through this okay?' Bailey soothed. 'Thank you, Dr Bailey.' Meredith replied coldly.
Meredith opened the front door and ran straight up the stairs to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She undressed and put the shower on the hottest setting. She sat down in the bath and cried. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She scrubbed her skin until it bled, until the pain became unbearable. Meredith grabbed a towel and rushed to her bedroom. She pulled on a pair of her oversized pyjamas and went back to the bathroom to lay on the floor.