A/N: Ah, this one was really, really, really long! Oh well, it wasn't worth losing the flow of the chapter to break it up even more plus I think the end sections turned out the best, so I wanted to post them now. It has a dramatic ending, which I like.

So... you're still reading this story, clearly. You can see me, writing this, and I can see you (on my little data graph of evil). I have a favour to ask of you though. Yes, you there, lurking in the shadows without an account. I totally get it! I mean, I did that for over a year and I am very much an anti-social hermit who finds talking to actual people, rather than imaginary characters, kind of as scary as Professor Crumbs' beard (and don't think he has that name for no reason, I know his beard is fake and all but seriously, the guy doesn't take it off to eat - or wash). Anyway, if you would like to make an account on here and follow my story so you know when it's been updated and review so I know your opinions and blah blah blah, it would be really awesome to be able to interact with more of my readers. Come on, you know you want to! I want you to. Please? You won't have to reveal any personal information - your double life starts now!

And, of course, a massive thank you to everyone who has already reviewed, followed or favourited - you motivate me to keep to a mostly-consistent schedule and remind me that I'm not alone in this dying fandom!

Anyway, back to the story.

In my version of the movie, Alex accidentally casts the spell on her mum in the evening, not the daytime, because, duh - sunset; more magically intense; Shrek? and you know you want her to go to that party on the beach before everyone gets caught up in all that uh-oh-our-parents-don't-remember-us stuff, and you know you want Justin to be involved in it somehow, am I right? Well, lucky you, that's just what happens in chapter eight (but first we're checking in on Harper - I'll try to get that up on Thursday again but if it turns out to be longer than last time... it may replace the Jalex chapter for next week - no, don't hit me! I'll include Jalex undercurrents, don't worry).

Also Archie, the magician, doesn't have a surname in the movie so, as the actor Steve Valentine is actually Scottish, I have selected the eighth most popular Scottish surname for him (according to Wikipedia): Anderson. I like alliteration.

See you soon!

Warnings: Strong language (no points for guessing the culprit), some sexual humour from people misinterpreting situations and being attracted to parrots, some disturbing and sexual imagery coming from the devious mind of Alex (we're talking necrophilia here, people) and... yeah, just... yeah. Do you really want to know any more? Lots of implied stuff, basically, okay? By the way, a succubus is a female demon that seduces men and has sex with them while they're sleeping. Oh, Justin, stop researching things. Please.

When you grow up with six siblings each hitting puberty (and hence causing havoc with their magic) in quick succession, you sort of get used to being levitated six feet off of the ground. You learn how to get back to the ground without breaking any bones, at least - the hard way, Archie might add; his left knee cap had never been quite the same after his younger brother Rob had turned twelve and a half and sneezed a hurricane. Needless to say, Mother Nature had not been happy about it.

Archie had also never forgotten that unmistakeable tingle of magic in use. It was subtle but its fifteen-year absence from his system had only heightened its attraction. It hit him like a drug, a giddy kind of feeling which made it both harder to focus and easier to at the same time, so long as the thing he was focusing on was how to get more of that magic pulsing through his blood and manipulating his flesh.

But even with his near-perfect landing, by the time he'd brought his act to a close, collected the most tips he'd ever received and scrambled his things together to escape la policia, who were giving him some serious warning looks, the wizarding family which had finally popped into his life out of nowhere were, well, nowhere to be seen.

Giselle squawked.

'Yes, yes, I know - but it's hardly my fault, is it? What was I supposed to do?' He had been dodging tourists and civilians in the blazing sun for several minutes now, making his way closer to the resort he always tried to work near - tourists were the easiest targets for making good money, or at least enough to buy lunch with, because the locals certainly didn't think much of his lousy, half-baked tricks.

A woman gave him a worried look as she passed, dragging her child away. He was talking to a parrot after all and there are a lot of negative stereotypes about involving crazy and dangerous.

He rolled his eyes, Some people.

This was not good - where were they? They'd been there, right there, Giselle had been waiting for so many years and here was their chance and they'd missed it. Come on, come on, come on, we can't have lost them-

There! There, definitely there! A slightly balding man, his suspiciously attractive wife (if the guy was rich, maybe he could get some cash out of them at the same time) and their mish-mash of... were they all their children? Or were the older two dating? He hadn't actually realised they'd been with the boy trying to ruin his routine but-

Giselle let out a second series of angry squawks, right in his ear - ouch! 'Okay, okay - I'm going!'

The magician sprinted up to the family, who were making their way towards a hire car. Over the sound of the crashing waves of the sea beside them, he heard the boy speak rather too loudly 'I promise you, nobody's gonna figure out that we're wizards.'

'You're wizards!' Archie immediately exclaimed, too excited to start with an introduction. His lungs burned with the exertion of all the running but he barely noticed: he had finally caught up to them. He was finally close to magic again.

The father froze, finger still pointed and mouth still open, half-forming the lecture dying in his mouth. Actually the whole family had a bit of an oh shit look to them. Archie waited.

'Uh...' the man with the thinning hair's hand slowly sunk down, 'What? No! Haha,' he made some elaborate hand gestures and glanced nervously around at his family to see if they were laughing along too. They weren't, so he started shuffling them towards the van, 'That's funny. But we are...' his hand on the son's shoulder shoved him along, 'most definitely...' they were almost there now, 'not...' his wife was digging for the key in her handbag.

Archie felt Giselle's feet claw into his shoulder, warning him not to buy it - he wasn't the brightest bulb in the factory. He wriggled his shoulder, he wasn't that stupid, 'Don't even try it,' he stepped in front of them again, trying to look friendly - the look on the mother's face told him that he looked a little more like creepy-serial-killer-posing-as-a-friendly-guy-in-need-of-a-lift. Damn it. He needed to switch tactics, tell 'em a little bit about yourself, Archie - yeah, that'll do, 'You think if I could actually do that trick, I'd be hustling tourists for loose change?' He lifted his hat and a few coins fell out. He'd have to come back for those later. Honest, modest - should work, right?

The woman looked even more nervous, poking her head between the man and the young boy and shrugging quickly, 'Hidden talents! Afraid we're in a hurry though, come on, kids,' she motioned to the rest of the party, 'let's go.'

Go? 'What? No, no, no, wait! I-' Wait a minute, 'Wait!' Archie slapped himself on the forehead, getting a small snicker out of the girl who hadn't spoken yet, apparently not wanting to get involved, 'I forgot to tell you the most important part!'

He was sure if parrots could role their eyes, Giselle would be rolling her's enough to look like she was having a seizure - bloody bird. Huh, must have been weird for her having to adapt to all that new anatomy like that- oh, right! They were all staring at him, wondering if he was going to actually tell them the important part.

'We're wizards, too!'

The dark-haired man-boy (Archie wasn't very good with ages. Was the trouble-making kid... eight, maybe?) snorted, crossing his arms. It would appear that Archie had offended him, somehow, 'You're wizards?' he glanced over at the girl he was with, raised eyebrow just visible above his sunglasses, 'I don't think so.'

Alright, Mr. I'm-so-much-better-than-you, with your five-star resort and your magic and your possibly-under-age-or-maybe-twenty-five girlfriend-sister whose family lets you go on vacation with them. Archie imagined that he was the kind of guy people had a lot of nicknames for, 'Well, we're not wizards now. I mean, obviously,' did everyone think he was a complete idiot? 'Yeah, but we were. I swear!' he raised a hand, almost knocking Giselle off-balance while she saluted too, 'Wizard's honour.'

The family looked sceptical. It was a good thing the waves were drowning out most of their speech if they wanted him to go into this much detail about the wizard world, in front of all these non-magical tourists. Come on, he was the stupid one?

He sighed, 'I was born a wizard but I lost out at the family wizard competition to my know-it-all older brother, so now I work here, on sub-minimum wage, under the nose of fellas like that over there.' He gestured to the policeman who was giving him the eye again. No, he wasn't harassing tourists this time - no one was getting bullied into a largely-inaccurate tour of the area, thank you.

He realised the two youngest (at least he thinks they were the youngest) were smiling, 'I know the feeling,' they said simultaneously and then pulled a face at each other for stealing their line.

He wasn't sure they did. Competing with six other wizards, the oldest of which was almost thirty by the time their baby sister turned eighteen, was kind of on a whole other level to battling just one or two - how were the rest of them supposed to compete with the guy who'd had twelve extra years to hone his skills in? Anyway, 'And the poor, lovely Giselle here,' he gestured to her on his shoulder, 'was transformed into her current feathery state by an evil- ow,' he flinched as she bit down hard on his finger, silencing him, 'Okay, not telling that part of the story.' He smiled through the pain, hoping that they all believed him now.

They were all nodding enthusiastically, 'Well,' the father grinned, slapping his hands together, 'it was nice running into you and good luck with the whole...' he flapped his hands a little, 'magic thing - your "pick a card", it's great!' he practically squeaked. Then his smile fell, he'd run out of juice, 'Everybody into the van.'

Oh, for Christ's sake! Did they have to duck like that? There were no tables, he could quite clearly see them hastily running around him - you at least need a crowd to pull off that one, Archie knew. He turned around, watching them trying to pile into the vehicle as quickly as possible.

'Wait!' Archie dropped his suitcase, almost losing Giselle as well as he darted forward - the man-boy hadn't got in yet, 'I could, er-' what did man-boys in fedoras like? Profile, profile - use your street skills, Archie, 'I could show you some of the wizarding sights. I'm also an excellent, reasonably-priced tour guide,' by which he meant bullshitter. Okay, so now he was bullying people into tours.

Damn, what was he thinking? The guy was trying to look cool, in that hat and those glasses, there was no way he'd be interested in-

He actually took his hastily constructed business card (good thing Giselle had a marker pen on her - don't ask). Wow. Man-Boy put his sunglasses away, 'That actually sounds pretty cool,' he turned back to the others, he had a book out, 'I was actually just-'

'No,' the mother cut in, her arms wrapped around her daughter's shoulders, 'It's Alex's turn to choose, remember?' her grin looked almost painful, she turned to the magician, nodding, 'And I just know she's gonna pick something really far away from here.'

'Mum, when did we decide it was Alex's turn-'

Uh-oh, Archie grimaced, hands on his hips waiting, trouble in paradi- wait, did he say "mum" or "come on"?

The girl had cut brother-boyfriend off, 'What if my choice,' she turned between her mother and the younger boy, 'is to watch Justin's lip quiver and beg?' and then she erupted into strange, nasally laughter.

Hm, Archie personally didn't have any problems with those kind of relationships, the whole humiliation thing - to each their own, after all, and if that's what got you- but it was rather odd that she was saying that in front of her parents. Maybe he was mis-reading the situation. The mother was shaking her head good-naturedly.

Man-Boy hung his head as the woman said 'Come on, honey. I'm sorry.'

'Shotgun!' the younger boy called.

Was that it? Oh, but Archie had one more card up his sleeve - if you'll excuse the pun. He clasped his hands behind his back, leaning in conspiratorially, 'I could show you la Piedra de los Seuños?'

Man-Boy spun around, as Archie and Giselle were hoping he would, 'The Stone of Dreams?'

Archie tried not to sigh, he was trying to make a dramatic effect, speaking in Spanish and all - trust this know-it-all to translate for him. Just like his older brother. 'I know where it is,' he nodded to Giselle, 'We have a map.'

'But that's, like, the most important wizard artefact, ever. It can do anything.'

Archie laughed, 'Yeah.' Come on, why would he not know what it is if he was the one who brought it up? I do have a brain up in here, people!

'You know where it is?'

He paused, 'That's what I just said.'

Man-Boy jumped up and down, 'Dad,' he turned to the balding guy inside the car who jumped out, a little concerned, and Archie didn't get why he was calling his girlfriend's father dad, unless... they weren't dating, 'He's got a map to the Stone of Dreams!'

'Yeah?' the man looked over at Archie, 'And so does every other wizard gift shop in town.'

Damn! This one wasn't as thick as Numbskull over here - but it was true, he did have a map. A real one.

'And every year,' the man pushed past his... son, apparently, poking a finger into Archie's chest, 'two or three idiot wizards go la-di-dahing,' he waved his hands about, imitating a fairy dance, 'through the forest, trying to find the stone, oh, honey, isn't this such a romantic adventure?' Archie didn't know any women who sounded like that, 'and you know what happens? They end up dead.'

Okay, so Archie actually didn't have a counter-argument for that one, but it was okay, right? They had three wizards - that's two spares! 'Please,' he said, 'okay, we're desperate - we've been on this island for years, just hoping to find a wizard who could help us,' it was the truth - sure, he conned people, but it was necessary, 'The stone is our only hope of restoring Giselle back to her former beautiful self-'

The parrot squawked, and the man and his son looked a little freaked out.

Archie turned to Giselle, whispering 'Not that you're not beautiful now. You're beautiful, you're gorgeous - in this light.'

If he didn't think she'd bite him, he would be kissing her now.

The man looked at him as if it was weird to be sexually-attracted to a parrot but he did at least look sincerely apologetic, 'I'm sorry. It's just too dangerous,' he patted the man-boy on the shoulder, 'Come on, Justin, let's go - you're in the middle seat.'

Then they got into the van and drove off.

'It's Archie, by the way! Archie Anderson!' he sighed. They hadn't heard him, had they? Well, at least they had his card.

As he walked off, arguing with his parrot who was making a right racket, the policeman glared at him again, swinging his baton, 'Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving, Bert.'

Alex screamed as she fell into the water for the twentieth time. She sure hoped Javier was the kind of guy who liked those useless, pathetic girls; she'd wanted to impress him with her natural talents but clearly that wasn't happening. She tried to rub a hand against her thigh (where she'd slammed down on the board) without him noticing, keeping up a gross happy-go-lucky act like she was Juliet or Harper or something.

The eye candy waded through the water to her and she stared at his bare chest to distract herself from the pain - it was quite an effective method, she had to admit. 'Alex! Are you okay?' he reached her board and helped her to steady it, 'Are you okay?' he repeated.

She pulled a pout she'd been practising in the car mirror. Although, it wasn't hard to look genuinely upset with the salt water stinging her eyes and the waves attempting to knock her over again.

'Don't worry,' he spoke in that alluring accent - Alex really had a thing for accents, 'you'll be fine - though you might need a few more lessons.' He winked and she shot him her best sweet smile, despite her father's muttering in the background about the extortionate prices.

Javier leaned down on the board, flexing his biceps, 'Shh, keep this a secret but...' he signalled for her to come closer with his finger so she could hear his whispering, 'I wasn't very good my first time either.'

Oh, so her plan was working - he was flirting with her. She increased her pout, 'I'm just having a little problem with the wind part...' she leaned in further, well as much as her life jacket would allow, 'and the surfing part,' she was about to brush a stray lock of hair back from his face, 'and the-'

'Hey, Alex!' she jumped, banging her elbows against the board, damn it, and looking up to see her brother gliding past them like he was God's gift to windsurfing or some crap, 'Watch and learn!'

Sure, if she didn't throw up in her mouth first. The little show-off just wanted to stop her from hooking up with Javier because he was stuck with no one to fuck for another two weeks until he got back to his precious corpse. Give me a break, instead of wasting his time trying to ruin her vacation, the freak should just find a cemetery on this stupid island and go pleasure himself over a gravestone. Or better yet, dig up the body and get arrested by the cops just when he was about to c- she looked around and rolled her eyes at everybody else's enthusiasm. Even Javier was cheering him on. Well, she guessed he was being paid to be supportive, after all. It wasn't genuine like it was when he spoke to her.

Right. Forbidden-schmidden, it was time to have some real fun, and she could pull off magical pranks way better than Max could ever dream of - he thought that number he pulled back at the market was impressive? She smirked, edging away from Javier as she breathed out the words 'Though a surfboard I might be a mess on, my brother is in need of a lesson.'

Remember how she'd been reading about spells to annoy older brothers the night before? Yeah, it was totally worth bothering to read.

Shit! Justin suddenly lost control of his board - it was as if the thing had a freakin' mind of its own. He yanked on the sail with more force. Nothing. Crap, 'How do you slow this thing down?' he shouted over the waves. He'd been doing great, brilliantly. He was going to make Alex eat the words she'd said in the van about nerds being bad at sport but now- 'Ah! Go back! Go back!' he screamed at the board frantically, 'Big wave!' he was going to be flipped over and drown! This was all Alex's fault!

The wand! He pulled it out of his swimming trunks (don't ask) and waved it at himself wordlessly - the thing was so powerful it hardly even needed spells - and within a split second he was suddenly better than great, he suddenly had total control. It was like his body had been surfing for years. Heck, he was the best windsurfer he'd ever seen!

Alex gasped as her brother did a 360 degree flip - how in the hell-

He's got the wand. That little shit has the family wand!

'Wow, Alex!' Oh great, now Javier practically wanted to jump her brother's bones instead, 'He's a natural!'

Alex spoke through a clenched jaw, 'Natural idiot, maybe.' What right did Justin have to act so morally superior when he'd gone and taken the family wand, against specific orders? He was just as bad as her! She needed time to revise her plans.

She'd had enough of windsurfing lessons for today; she started to get out of the water.

Justin meanwhile felt amazing - being academically brilliant had its own little thrill to it, and so did the perfection of a spell, but being a top athlete? Justin felt... like alpha-male! Top of the food chain! Take that, Javier.

Wait... this thing was going pretty fast, 'Too fast! Too fast!'

'Turn to the wind to slow down!' Javier yelled at him over the waves. Justin had his eyes closed, the spray of the sea in his face, and he had no idea which direction the voice was coming from.

Alex, having reached the shore, was now making her way over to their stuff, where Max was inexplicably making an army of bottle caps and chocolate bar wrappers found in the sand. Psh. She heard the King of the Dorks shouting 'Which way is the wind? I can't see!' Served the egghead right.

Ugh, she started to wring the water from her hair, what had been up with that magician guy earlier? Was he fucking that bird or something? And why had he kept glancing between her and Justin with that stupid expression on his face? And-

Her parents were waving their arms around like freaks, screaming at her. What do they want n-

The sound of feet landing heavily on the shore and then, Oh my God! two hands collided into her with such force that before she knew what had happened, her brother's body was half pressed on top of her and she had a mouth full of sand.

'Justin! What the fu-' she censored herself, realising she was surrounded by a group of children ranging from five to eight years old - the youngest of which looked about to burst into tears because, as Alex had also realised, she had just demolished what looked like, judging from the remains, a rather lovingly crafted sand castle.

Oh! But her foot was in the perfect position to kick Justin in the balls. Not everything was terrible, then.

She started laughing quietly, Justin didn't understand until-

'Ahhh!' he groaned, finally rolling off of her to clutch at his assaulted area, narrowly avoiding the father of the children, who had made his way over to sort out the commotion and ask why exactly two low-life teenagers thought it was acceptable to dry-hump on top of his children's work. Those sick bastards! He'd give them a good talking to!

Alex looked up to see an angry and confused man caught between glaring at her and asking Justin to please stop writhing so close to his foot, 'Well,' she shrugged, 'Every castle needs a princess?'

Okay, Justin was definitely ruining her charm here.

'No?' she saw that none of the children looked any happier, 'Okay.'

She shuffled up onto her feet, kicking Justin in the shin this time before walking away.

How had no one else noticed Justin's involvement in that embarrassing little spectacle earlier? There he was, one of them, up ahead laughing at her in the evening air as they made their way to dinner, as if he hadn't been the reason she'd squashed that sand castle and as if he hadn't been right on top of her and as if he hadn't been kicked in the balls but just used that fucking wand to heal himself before their family came over. Well, fuck you, Justin.

Not... literally. Ugh! He could go fuck himself.

'I shouldn't have laughed but... you know - she was okay, right?' her father shrugged, chuckling.

Oh, thanks so much for your support, Daddy!

'Yeah, but poor Alex,' her mother said, her pity even more embarrassing, 'she really wanted to impress that instructor.'

'Glad you guys are having such a good time!' Alex hoped her family weren't too delusional to realise she was being sarcastic.

'Alex!'

Hm, Javier was calling to her from across the green. Well, her family weren't going to miss her, clearly - they'd been ignoring her and her sour mood for the past half hour. She cut across the grass, because paths are for losers, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before she reached him.

Wow, the guy could even pull off baby pink. Dressed in a polo shirt now, Javier motioned for the two women he was with to continue on without him, and met Alex at the edge of the grass, 'Listen. There's a party down at the beach later...'

She waited for him to continue, liking where this seemed to be going.

'Any chance I could talk you into going with me?' he shot her that killer smile usually reserved for stubborn customers trying to file a complaint.

She grinned back - who needed some crappy house party in Brooklyn when you could go to some late-night beach fiesta with a hot Latino? Yes, she knew how to say party in Spanish, 'A huge chance,' oh but there was that little problem of a certain Latina and her family vacation obsession, 'unfortunately, my mother isn't so easily persuaded...'

His smile started to turn into one of those apologetic maybe-another-time-then ones.

She quickly added, 'But I'll work something out!'

He threw up his arms, 'Cool. I'll see you then,' and then he rushed off after the women, 'my shift ends at nine!' he called over his shoulder.

Still grinning to herself, Alex turned around ready to catch up with her family and almost walked right into her mother. She jumped. Jeez, her mum really had to stop doing that, if it wasn't her spying on her conversations with Harper, it was her listening to her talks with cute boys. She understood where she inherited her stealth from for pranking Justin with (speaking of which, she still needed to get him back for earlier).

'What are you working out?' her mother asked, already suspecting something bad.

Oh for- how long had she been standing there, exactly? Oh, right - she should try being nice. 'Um,' Alex grabbed Teresa's hand, putting on her baby voice, 'how sweet I have to be for you to let me go to this party tonight?'

'With him? Hahaha,' her mother laughed weakly, gesturing after Javier before turning back to the path the Russos had been following, 'So not happening.'

Alex ran after her, 'What? Why can't I go?'

'Alex!' Teresa didn't know how to respond, she thought she'd explained it enough times already, 'First of all, we,' she pointed between the two of them, 'all of us, together, we're on a family vacation, honey.' She refused to believe Alex didn't already know this, she was getting tired of repeating herself.

'More like a never-ending photoshoot,' Alex muttered, but Teresa still heard her, 'Come on, Mum, please, it's just on the beach - that's, like, not even five minutes from our room!

Teresa sighed, 'I am trying to create memories,' positive ones, she should have added, 'And second, I said no. Your mother telling you no should be enough reason, Alex, you don't need to be spending anymore time with that... boy.' She wasn't sure he even classed as a boy, Teresa reckoned he must be older than Justin.

'But... you don't even know him,' Aye yai yai, she was starting to sulk again.

Teresa was tempted to point out that neither did Alex, 'I know he's too old for you. And that he probably hits on every girl that comes to this resort,' she shuddered, 'and, at best, he's just trying to hustle you into more windsurfing lessons.' More likely he found the idea of a young girl on vacation an attractive conquest to get into bed so he could boast to his friends about it the next day - no, Teresa was most definitely not speaking from personal experience. She was a good Catholic, she'd never been taken in by the romance of an exotic country and false promises and empty 'I love you's and the heart-breaking humiliation that came in the morning when the boy she thought she'd fallen for was gone without a note.

Lost in the past, Teresa carried on walking, unaware that Alex had lagged behind.

Looking down at the water crashing onto the rocks below, Alex made up her mind, if her mother wasn't going to let her go to the party willingly... 'A party I must attend, on that we can't agree, but for a refeshing change... today you'll side with me.' She flicked the pink spark of magic at her mother, throwing all her aggression and will-power into it.

Her mother's body jerked and she stopped moving. Alex waited, unsure if it had worked.

'You know what?' Teresa turned around, full of energy and a partying, you-only-live-once attitude, 'You're young!' she threw up her arms, 'Go!' now she was doing the samba, 'Have a good time!' And then she continued walking towards Jerry as if nothing had happened.

Well, that had worked kind of perfectly...

Then Teresa turned around a second time, shaking her head, 'What am I saying?' something strange had come over her, 'Absolutely not.'

Alex frowned.

'Come on, everybody's waiting,' Teresa hurried on, not wanting to be late to dinner. Clearly the hunger was effecting her sanity.

Oh, great, not enough juice! Maybe there was something Justin could do to make it up to Alex...

Apparently Memory Lane Disease was contagious because, as dinner revealed, Jerry had clearly caught it too, 'We were sitting right here when I told your mother I was a wizard!'

Alex nodded, pretending to be fascinated while trying to find a convenient moment to drag Justin away.

'Yes,' Teresa rubbed Jerry's arm, 'and he also told me that he loved me,' she leaned in, giving him a kiss, and the Russo children tried not to gag.

Max's brow creased, forkful of pasta drenched in soup and some kind of chocolate dessert (there was a buffet) suspended in the air, 'Dad, why would you do something like that?' he shovelled the thing he called food into his mouth, dribbling some onto his lap, 'Didn't you know you were gonna have to give up your magic?'

Teresa sighed, Max didn't understand love either - and she really should have asked the waiter for some extra napkins. And a baby bib.

'Well, I knew it was an important decision,' Jerry gazed into Teresa's eyes, drawing her attention back to him, 'but I also knew... that we could make some magic of our own.'

Oh, good God, 'Well,' Alex stood abruptly, her chair making a hideous squeaking noise as it was pushed back, 'that was beautiful, really, guys-' she wiped a finger against her eye, 'I'm tearing up. But look - pork. They've refilled it. You want some, Justin? Good,' she grabbed his arm, 'Let's go.'

'Woah,' Justin's spoon was knocked to the floor as she pulled him sideways but Alex's grip was too tight for him to stop to pick it up. Still, he was thankful - he thought she was still angry with him for earlier but, 'Thanks, Alex, I swear, I think if I had to listen to Mum and Dad talk about the joys of sex over dessert, I wouldn't be able to keep that dinner down.'

Alex snorted, they had reached the buffet table now and she could see Javier looking over at her from where he was taking his break at the sea's edge, near to the open-air restaurant. She quickly released Justin's arm, 'I wasn't saving your ass, dorkus - you have something I want,' she grabbed his wrist again quickly, glancing at the time on his watch, 'and I don't have long to get it.' Javier would be expecting her in just under two hours.

Huh? Justin was scared, I have something she wants?

'I know you have the wand.'

'What?' Justin was shocked. He tried to remain casual, over-acting as he pretended to be deciding between the pork and the veggie option, 'No, no, no - I don't- I don't know why you would think that I have the wand, I mean, I definitely wasn't using it last night and I don't have it here because- because-' what was he trying to say again? 'I wouldn't take the wand from Mum and Dad because that would be...'

Alex was yawning.

'Okay,' his shoulders sagged, 'How did you know I had the wand? I- You went through my stuff again!' Oh, this is bad, this is bad - is she going through my underwear, too? What's wrong with us? Why is this happening? We're going to Hell! If it exists!

'Didn't have to.'

Oh.

As she leaned over him to reach for the salad, before diving for the dessert instead, she said 'There's no way you could stay on that windsurfer.'

'Well,' he batted her hand away, there was no use denying he'd used magic any longer, he supposed, 'the wind was blowing really hard. Was I supposed to just-'

Her lips were pursed and she was blowing air on him. It tickled his skin and Justin knew it really shouldn't feel so very nice considering Alex's breath still smelled of hamburger. But why was she-

'That was you?' Sometimes Justin wondered if his sister wasn't trying to kill him, in multiple ways, 'Wait- no, no, no, no, no, that's impossible!'

Justin was shaking his head and Alex was just standing there, smiling at him. Like an evil succubus- I mean, devil!

Justin cleared his throat, 'You know how powerful Mother Nature is, you can't do weather spells unless- unless you're going through puberty,' definitely past that, 'or you have a wand or- or you use... you have the spell book, don't you?' He should have known.

Jeez, Justin sure did like to ramble, turning a conversation which was meant to take two minutes into two hours; if they didn't go back to the table soon, their parents were going to get suspicious.

Teresa looked over to her oldest children, tapping Jerry on the arm, 'Aw, honey, you were right - our kids really are bonding; look at them over there, helping each other to get food. Aren't they sweet?'

'So here's the fun blackmailing part,' Alex smiled and weaved around her brother, brushing him on the arm as she passed and making his hairs stand up on end.

His eyes looked like they were going to explode. Oh no, she knows! She's been reading my mind! She knows that- oh! Right. The wand stuff. Yeah.

'So,' she lowered her voice, remembering the people around them for the first time, 'Let me use the wand... or I'll tell Dad you really did take it without permission this time - what will Daddy think of perfect little Justin, breaking the rules?' She made her lip quiver.

Darn, she had a good point. Well, two could play at that game - he kept the panic out of his voice, 'Fine. Then I'll tell Dad you took the book.'

Alex looked puzzled, 'So?'

Oh, yeah. He'd forgotten that her most recent punishment for breaking the rules was being made to go on a luxury vacation. He really hated her for always playing the 'Daddy's Little Girl' card with their father. He didn't respond.

She nudged him with her elbow, 'Please?' she pulled the same pout she'd used on Javier: hey, it was through years of using it on Justin that she'd learned how effective it actually was, 'I found this amazing agreement spell. Mum and Dad'll agree to anything we say for the next six hours.'

He still wasn't speaking to her.

She nudged him again, 'You can visit your boring troll ruins?'

Damn it, she was good, 'Okay... so just tell it to me. I already have the wand.'

She raised an eyebrow.

Okay, so Justin's rebellious history didn't really go far beyond taking a wand in order to study harder - plus, you know, not ratting Alex out to their parents every time she broke the rules, 'Fine,' he handed her the wand under the table, 'I'll keep Mum and Dad busy.'

Justin thought she was about to hug him but then she glanced behind her (to Javier) and instead abandoned her plate and made a move to leave, 'Okay. Tell them I... ate some bad shrimp. I'm going to bed.'

She rushed off and Justin returned to his seat, carrying her abandoned plate with him.

Jerry looked up, 'Hey, where's your sister?'

'Um... don't go back to the hotel room!'

And then Justin tried to glue their parents to their seats, except in his panic he only managed to explode the new Max Creation (trademark), causing Max to applaud in delight and Teresa to simply gape at him through the muck splattered all over her and get up to return the their room as quickly as possible.

Alex, sitting on Justin's bed - it was the closest to the door, okay?, rotated the wand in her hand. Okay, she'd better do the spell now before Justin said anything stupid, revealing her plan.

She stood up, turning to the correct page in the book to make sure she said the spell exactly as it appeared, taking a deep breath, 'A party I must attend, on that we can't agree,' she felt the power building up in the wand, shaking with the force, 'But for a refreshing change-'

'Alex!' her mother was standing in the doorway, her clothing and hair slightly damp for some reason.

Okay, she really had to stop involving Justin in her schemes - he couldn't be trusted to keep his cool. 'Mum?' Alex quickly hid the wand and spell book behind her back, ignoring the vibrations still coming from them, 'What are you doing here?'

Teresa rolled her eyes and laughed - except nothing about this situation was funny, 'I knew something was up when your brother tried to magically glue me to my chair.'

Damn it, Justin!

Teresa stepped closer and Alex continued trying to conceal the magical items, something which was getting harder to do as the wand grew even stronger, 'You just will not stop, will you?' Her mother sounded almost sad.

How- how dare she try to blame this on her? 'Well, what am I supposed to do?' Alex shouted, moving her hands into fists and revealing the wand and spell book, 'Since you've decided that you want to control every single fucking second of my life!'

'Language, Alex!' Teresa shook her head, walking right up to her daughter, 'Do you really think I'm doing this for me? As if you're actually pleasant to be around?' Teresa laughed, coldly, because she wanted to cry. What was the point in giving her daughter all these chances, when every time she just threw them back in her face? She was tired of everyone thinking she was a bad mother. She was done being kind.

Alex, stung, raised her voice even more, 'I am sixteen! You can't keep telling me what to do!'

'Watch me,' that was it, that was really it - all she'd wanted was a nice family vacation, 'For the rest of this trip, you are going to be pleasant,' she held up a finger against Alex, who was about to interrupt, 'and present...'

'You can't make me!'

Teresa inhaled, 'And when we get home, you are grounded for two months.'

Alex gasped.

Teresa didn't care, if this was the only way to get through to her, so be it, 'That's right. No dating. No parties. No magic.' It was tearing her family apart.

'Mum!'

'No,' she shook her head, 'Not another word. I've had it,' and she really had this time. She turned away, anger and disappointment pulsing through her veins, 'Now put that stuff away.'

Alex watched her mother storm out of the room before screaming so loudly it hurt her throat, 'I hate you! I hate you! I wish you and Dad had never even met!'

And as the first tear spilled down her cheek, Alex felt a colossal force rip out of the wand, still tightly grasped in her hand, releasing all of that pent-up energy into the atmosphere, rushing out into the approaching darkness. Alex was shaking, trying to get her sobbing under control.

She sniffed, swallowing to soothe her aching throat and wiping at her eyes. She didn't care what had just happened. She didn't care. She was going to that party.

She dropped the wand and spell book onto Justin's bed, striding out of the exit her mother had just left through.

They had disintegrated into the air before she'd even slammed the door.