Kakashi: Family

Kakashi had deliberately stayed away from his clan compound all day, since he had been warned that the twelve Kaman children plus carers had arrived and he wanted to give them all a chance to settle in before joining the fray. At least, that was his excuse. The Yuurei with the mask painted with what looked like a crumpled length of cotton did not seem particularly impressed. Worse, the jounin hadn't met this one before and was at an automatic disadvantage. He had at least sparred with Harionago, Shin -whose sense of humour left much to be desired- and Nurarihyon, whom he suspected to be a Yamanaka.

"Amemai-sama wishes you to know that you have missed dinner," he -or was it she?- said flatly, not giving away at all how they felt for being used as a private messenger for something so mundane. "In order to meet the children before they are sent to bed you must return immediately."

"Oh? Is it that late already?" Kakashi mused, lowering his ninja-to and giving Sasuke a bit of breathing room.

"I have been authorised to use force if you do not, ahem, 'get moving as soon as you get the message', Kakashi-san," the Yuurei added, tone bland and vaguely helpful. "Amemai-sama assures me that my abilities are well-suited to subduing and transporting you against your will should it prove necessary. Of course, she would very much rather it did not but some conflicts are inevitable when ideals clash."

That sounded ominous. Kakashi bowed to the inevitable. "We're finishing for the day, Sasuke. Remember to cool down properly before bed or you'll be sore in the morning."

"Hai, Sensei," the Uchiha gasped, slipping his ninja-to into its sheath with shaky hands.

"See you tomorrow!" the jounin said brightly before leaping into the trees and making a beeline for his clan grounds. I won't be marrying her for another three weeks but she's already organising me. And with enforcers; not even Shikaku has to deal with that. Oh, well. The benefits are worth it. He shunshined down to the front gate, his anonymous escort seconds behind him.

"What's your mask supposed to be anyway?" the copy-nin asked idly.

"Ittan-momen, Kakashi-san."

"It really is a length of cotton? How bizarre." Kakashi pondered for a moment. "What's your speciality?"

"Chakra strings, Kakashi-san," the Yuurei replied after a pause.

"Chakra strings, not puppetry? Interesting that you make the distinction."

The white-masked ninja made a vaguely scornful noise in his throat. "Puppets are largely cumbersome and unsubtle."

"I'll take your word for it," Kakashi said agreeably, rather pleased he'd found a subject the messenger actually cared about. "Where are we going?"

"The main family room, Kakashi-san. Naruto-san has visited already and left just before I was sent to find you."

"I'll be off then. See you later; maybe we could spar," Kakashi said before shunshining away to just outside the shouji door that led into the largest of the family rooms other than the dining hall. He paused on the threshold as he heard Ame talking on the other side of the frame:

"Is everybody here?"

"Ahiru-tou-san isn't," a piping childish voice promptly spoke up.

"He had a private chat with Naruto and is having a late dinner; Kakashi-san will have a grown-up talk with him later," Ame replied.

Kakashi slid the door open and walked in. Twelve colourfully dressed children straightened their postures like little soldiers. Ame, a vision in a pink uchikake over a rich, warm purple kimono and green obi was cradling a bundle of embroidered blankets with a tiny, wrinkled face peeking out of one end. Kakashi identified it as his daughter Nikkou by the wispy gold hair sticking up on top of her head like a cockatoo's crest. Off to one side a Hyuuga was cooing over another two similarly decorated bundles which no doubt contained his twin sons.

"Kashi, come over here and meet the Kamen children," his koi said, gently catching hold of his arm with her free hand and towing him towards the line-up. "Children, this Hatake Kakashi, my betrothed and the triplets' father. Kashi, this is the Kamen brood."

The youngest child, a curly-haired girl in lime green, shuffled forward, mindful of her outfit. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san. My name is Koumori and I like high places and sushi! I also like pocky, but only when it's nii-san's pocky." She bowed carefully, smiled sweetly up at him them stepped back into line. Kakashi was abruptly reminded of a long-ago ANBU colleague:

"Hi, I'm Shisui. I'm an Uchiha but you guys already know that so I don't know why I bothered to mention it. I like eating sushi and messing with my little cousin Itachi; he's to uptight for his own good. I especially like stealing his pocky- hey! What did you hit me for Itachi? I was just telling the truth!"

Former ANBU code-named 'Boar' had been the first to die when Uchiha Itachi snapped and wiped out his clan save for his little brother. At least that's how the tale goes; I now have very serious doubts. Shisui hadn't been half bad for an Uchiha, reminding the copy-nin ever so slightly of Obito in that he had actually acknowledged the existence of his sense of humour.

The next two in line stepped forward together, remarkably similar boys with identical dark green eyes.

"I'm Ushi," Said the boy in brown.

"And I'm Uma," said the boy in pale beige.

"We're twins. We both like disguises," Ushi said.

"But I like codes and and oden more," Uma added.

"And I like animals and barbecue," Ushi finished. Both twins bowed and stepped smartly back in line. Next up was the redhead in yellow.

"Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," he said softly, ice-blue eyes watchful and distant. "I am Kitsune. I like puzzles of all kinds and dancing. I also like taijutsu." He bowed gracefully, very gracefully for a six-year-old, and slid smoothly back into place.

Next up was the boy in orange. "Hi, I'm Tora. I like orange and sharp things. Swords are especially cool. I also like my family and I want to keep them safe from everything."

The next child was a girl of about seven who looked like a miniature Anko, spiky purple hair and all. "My name is Kamen Hebi. I like genjutsu and dreams. My ambition is to be in the bingo book when I'm older."

Kakashi believed she could do it. For a little girl she was unbelievably intense.

The pigtailed blonde in bright pink was next. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," she murmured. "I am Usagi. I like cooking, gardening and watching people. My favourite weapon is senbon." She bowed, pigtails bouncing, and shuffled back into line. Despite looking utterly unsuited to the shinobi lifestyle Kakashi felt she was the one who would make the best kunoichi out of the girls he'd been introduced to so far. Probably as a poison specialist. She was also the prettiest of the younger children, although remarkably self-effacing. The latter quality would make her an excellent spy when she was older.

Next in line was a boy who looked exactly like Kakashi's own former team-mate Obito had, except with gold eyes. "Hello! I'm Nezumi. I like creeping up on people and explosions. I also like ninja wire: it's really, really useful and multipurpose. I also like kaa-san, 'cause she cooks the best ever pancakes and Ahiru-tou-san because he doesn't laugh at me when I'm clumsy and thinks my pranks are funny. Naruto-nii's pretty cool as well since he agreed explosions are awesome! Do you like explosions, Kakashi-san?"

"There are times making things explode is very gratifying," Kakashi conceded, wondering exactly who this 'Ahiru-tou-san' was.

"See, Hebi? Explosions are cool! Even Kakashi-san thinks so!"

"Don't make me involve Usagi," the purple-haired girl threatened. Nezumi swallowed hard and pouted, but didn't continue the argument, making the copy-nin wonder exactly how Usagi enforced her will. Next up was a girl in pale blue with her hair in a bun.

"Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," she bowed politely, all eight-year-old self-possession, "my name is Tori. I like calligraphy, painting and herblore. I want to be an inin when I'm old enough because I want to be able to heal people." She eyed him shyly through her bangs. "I also like looking after my younger siblings."

The next child to introduce themselves was the last girl in the line. She had gold eyes and wore a pearly grey kimono. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san; I am Neko. I like strategy games and finding things out. I also like dango and playing with my sisters."

There were only two boys left now. The younger one stepped forward and bowed jerkily. "I'm Kamen Kame. I like hunting, tracking and setting traps. I'm going to be an oinin when I'm older." He fiddled with his olive green hakama as he spoke and slid back into line as soon as he finished.

The last and oldest boy looked up at him with calm golden eyes. "I am called Inutaicho; my nii-san named me for a man he respected. I look after all my younger siblings and will do anything to protect them. I like ramen, learning ninjutsu and music."

"I suppose I should introduce myself properly, then," Kakashi mused. "Oh well. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I like my fiancée Ame -your kaa-san- lightning ninjutsu and showing up late for things. I also like my baby sons and daughter. Since Ame is your kaa-san as well that makes Obito, Yasha and Nikkou your baby siblings, I suppose." The older children looked interested in that concept, although Uma, Ushi and Koumori seemed a bit pouty about losing their status as youngest.

"I'm also a jounin-sensei, so most of my time is spent teaching my three genin, one of whom is Naruto who I think you've all met." There was a chorus of nods, some rather enthusiastic. The blond jinchuuriki had clearly been well-received. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to spend any time with you lot though. We're all family now since you've come to live with me, and we should all look after eachother."

That seemed to be the right thing to say as the copy-nin was instantly overwhelmed by small children all trying to hug him at once.

Ame rescued Kakashi from the overenthusiastic horde and had the older children herd the younger ones off to bed. That set in motion, she created a clone unlike any the jounin had ever seen before, handed baby Nikkou over to it and led Kakashi out of the room.

"Now you've met the children there's someone who requires a personal introduction," his fiancée told him quietly, leading him to the door of the private receiving room. "the children know him as 'Ahiru-tou-san' as he has been their primary male carer for the past four years, but that's a nickname rather than his actual birth name."

"Whose idea was it to name the kids after ANBU masks?" Kakashi just had to know.

"Their eldest living relative's. The Kamen children are all that is left of a very old clan that was wiped out during the bloodline purges in Mizu no kuni. Their only adult relative is a ninja who didn't know any of them personally, being a bit of a loner, so he renamed them in honour of his former comrades."

"So they're a kekkai genkai clan?"

"In theory. I have no idea how many will manifest their family bloodline," Ame said, tapping the frame of the sliding door with her knuckles.

There was something off about all this, Kakashi knew. Something fishy is going on here. Everything koi just told me is completely true, but I somehow doubt she told me everything. The missing piece is the key to the tale, and when I find it-

The shouji door slid open and the copy-nin found himself face to face with a ghost. A blond, blue-eyed, unsettlingly solid and painfully familiar ghost.

"I'll leave you two to catch up," Ame said quietly, rising on tiptoes to kiss her lover's cheekbone above his mask before disappearing down the hall.

Several hours later Kakashi was wandering aimlessly around his home. His time with his former sensei had been severely emotionally draining and he wasn't really sure what to make of it all. Bargains with gods, ghost and demons, subterfuge, death and prophesy. What a tangle. The copy-nin knew there was much more to the situation that had been revealed to him; he had been a ninja since early childhood and could tell when something wasn't being said. In this case he really didn't think he wanted to know.

My koi, the puppetmaster. Oh, the irony of it all. She isn't even from this village and she's been calling the shots since the last war. Kakashi made his way to the bedroom he shared with his fiancée and let himself in quietly, not wanting to disturb his five-week-old children in the next room.

"Kashi?"

"Hai, koi," the odd-eyed jounin said softly, shedding his clothing, mask and hitai-ite. "I'm here."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I couldn't Kashi; you wouldn't have believed me," Ame said softly, arms wrapped around her shins as she rocked back and forth on the bed. "It took months to make than bunshin and it's still terribly limited, barely more than a puppet. I've been working on properly resurrecting him for years but it's so difficult it's ridiculous," she fretted, the starry pinpricks in her eyes flashing erratically. "Not to mention all the others in my care-"

"Shh, koi," Kakashi murmured, wrapping his arms around her comfortingly. "It's alright; you've given me back my sensei and Naruto his father. That's more than enough. I have never dared to hope to see him in the flesh once more and now he's sharing my home." He paused. "On an unrelated note, were you ever going to tell me that the Kamen are all Uchiha or was I expected to find out for myself?"

Ame blinked owlishly. "Ano, pass?"

"Koumori looks almost exactly like Shisui did, Nezumi is Obito all over again, Inutaicho moves like the second coming of Itachi and Ushi and Uma are like mini-Fugakus with better temperaments," the copy-nin said dryly. "Not to mention Usagi being exactly like Mikoto-san was so far as temperament goes. No-one without sharingan-perfect memories would be able to tell though. Congratulations on keeping them out of sight for so long."

Ame shrugged helplessly. "They wanted to be ninja, especially the oldest three. Who am I to deny them their future and their heritage? Konoha is where they would have ended up eventually even if I hadn't found you when I did."

"You know they'll be found out once they start developing the sharingan, don't you?"

Ame giggled. "Only if they stop using their disguise seals. Inutaicho already has one tomoe in one eye and two in the other but you'd never be able to tell. It doesn't even prevent them from using the sharingan's hypnotic and genjutsu-weaving properties."

Kakashi paused. "Who's teaching him to use it?"

"Who do you think?"

The jounin froze. "Itachi?"

"Surely you've worked out by now that the massacre was not what it appeared to be" Ame asked reproachfully.

"Hai, hai..." Kakashi muttered, the cogs in his mind turning frantically. "I take it this has something to do with Uchiha Madara?"

"Aa. Itachi was acting under relatively legitimate orders so assassinate those clan members plotting to overthrow the hokage. Madara crept in and slaughtered everyone else; I barely got the kids out in time. Itachi then bumped into Sasuke shortly after realising that everyone was dead and promptly Tsukiyomi'd him, which he wasn't supposed to do but was probably a result of temporary insanity due to the extreme mental strain he had been under for the past months and the trauma of losing half his family and killing the other half. Shisui's death really messed him up."

"Wasn't Itachi suspected of killing Shisui in order to obtain mangekyou?"

"Exactly. Being all but forced to murder your best friend would damage anyone's mind and Itachi's always been fragile. Too much pressure from the clan and too many expectations. I'm honestly surprised he didn't snap sooner or do more damage."

Notes

oinin = hunter ninja

uchikake = floor-length kimono overgown, often worn as part of traditional wedding regalia but originally formal court garb

Ittan-momen = cloth-monster that smothers people

Harionago = woman with sharp hooks at the ends of her hair

Shin = clam that creates mirages

Nurarihyon =imposter spirit

A/N: Kakashi meets the Kamen children and Minato, then shows once again that yes, he is indeed a genius. He just can't be bothered most of the time. Nurarihyon is what Ame re-named the ROOT operative called 'Fuu' from the original canon. 'Torune', the other original operative, has also been renamed and will appear later, as will 'Hyou', who only made one, brief appearance. Shin is still Shin, the ROOT nin who was like a brother to Sai, who will also retain his original name. Ittan-momen is a former clan ninja, presumed deceased. Any guesses as to his original affiliation?